TOPIC: Where to move to in the US? - Autistic City Comparisons

I currently live in Buffalo, NY and my IT job is transitioning to fully work from home. I'm looking to move when my lease is up in November.

I'm looking to move somewhere to maximize my dating life. My long term goals are pretty typical: multiple fuckbuddies with attractive young women (18 - 23 years old).

I'm open to moving pretty much anywhere in the US. I'd prefer somewhere warmer (been living with NY winters my entire life), but if the dating opportunities are active year round, it doesn't really matter. My city is pretty suburban and most women huddle up inside for 6 months of the year.

I make $80k a year, so I think most cities are within grasp, especially if I can ditch my car (no commute, since I'm working from home).

So tell me what's great about your city and neighborhood. Are there lots of sexually open, attractive women? What is the street life like -- are there plenty of attractive women that are approachable during the day? How is the nightlife and bar scene for meeting women?

Side Note: how do young women afford to live in the "hot" parts of big cities (NYC, LA, etc)? In my experience in my city, most of the women who are 21 and younger, live with their parents in the suburbs or on college campuses. It seems that by moving into the more attractive parts of big cities, that I'm "pricing myself out" of the younger women I'm most interested in.

The economics of dating:
I've done a lot of research on locations. Personally, I want cities with lots of available women. Nowhere beats NE USA, especially NYC. Outside of that...

Generally, there are more men in the west, and more women in the east. Bigger cities, and university areas also draw more women. Places like San Francisco and Seattle have tons of male techies and not enough women to go around which makes for a worse dating scene. Avoid cities close to military areas (ex. Temple/Kileen Tx, Greensboro NC, Norfolk, VA). They are sausage fests and tend to have an unappealing atmosphere.

Listen, you can do well anywhere but some places are just naturally better suited for single men. Here are a few notable cities IMO: Dallas, Chicago, Minneapolis. All have an excess of women, good education, good jobs, and Dallas in particular has a great cost of living. Minneapolis has a great scene, I really like it there, but weather will be similar to NY.

In the SE US you can really do well as an "available man". That means someone with a decent career and not in prison. You may not have thought about it, but high rates of prisoners means a lot of men are removed from competition. Cities like Memphis, Nashville, and Atlanta have high numbers of low education and low income men, on top of an already higher proportion of women to men. That means someone like you will stand above the competition. You might not like living there for those same reasons!

Putting it all together, I think the North Carolina "Triangle" is a great choice: Durham, Chapel Hill, and Raleigh. All 3 cities are within an hour of each other and have a major University. Lots of younger adults, high education, good jobs, and an excess of women. Better cost of living than NY so your money should stretch far. Lots of nature and warmer weather. A couple hours from both the ocean and mountains. I've had a few close friends in Raleigh, and I had several job interviews with the Universities. I was really close to moving out there myself but I got pulled to the Midwest by a better job offer. I have second thoughts all the time about not going to NC.

Another benefit to living in the south is you can have fun with your guns

Before Win Big started talking about that, I was going to say San Diego seems pretty ideal. If you want college age girls, it's ideal to live in a college town. San Diego has USD, UCSD, San Diego State and is top 10 in the US for total population.

Areas of Chicago and LA should likewise be great (big cities and lots of colleges).

Good idea to check out other college towns. Michigan is okay during the academic year but pretty quiet during the summer. It's overall population doesn't balance well with the college population. It's also about as liberal as Berkeley.

I've done a lot of research on locations. Personally, I want cities with lots of available women. Nowhere beats NE USA, especially NYC.

NYC is close to me and I'm pretty familiar with it (visited a bunch of times in the past few years) -- so it would be easier to move to there and it's on the top of my list. I haven't considered the male-to-female ratio, but is this really a problem in LA (also high on my list).

Cities like Memphis, Nashville, and Atlanta have high numbers of low education and low income men, on top of an already higher proportion of women to men. That means someone like you will stand above the competition. You might not like living there for those same reasons!

Putting it all together, I think the North Carolina "Triangle" is a great choice: Durham, Chapel Hill, and Raleigh. All 3 cities are within an hour of each other and have a major University. Lots of younger adults, high education, good jobs, and an excess of women.

What is the dating culture and women like in these Southern cities? Calvin Klein Fine had a thread recently where he said in Atlanta "Every girl that looks halfway decent in her twenties is a fucking bible thumper, casual sex is less accepted and you feel like you are in the fucking Middle East culturally, and everyone is hyper-cliquish only sticking to high school and college friends."

"The Triangle" has a total population of 2 million (twice my metro area), but it's looks really spread out. Realistically, I think most of my dating is going to be within 20 minutes (driving, mass transit, etc.) of where I live.

Another benefit to living in the south is you can have fun with your guns

Yeah I'm not a fan of liberal politics, but I'm willing to sacrifice that to maximize my dating life. I think I can survive anywhere except for the most liberal places like San Francisco and Portland, Oregon.

Austin, TX is high on my list of places to move it. It sounds like a decent sized city with a large young population -- big college town also. Can anyone comment on the culture there? Is there a more conservative sexual attitude or are women more sexually liberal?

Good idea to check out other college towns.

Is this the key to dating younger women? I really don't have much experience with these types of women, especially in larger cities. I'm worried about my dating life being too relient on the college population. As The Blackdragon Blog says : "Colleges, particularly larger ones, are full of women who aren’t from that city. Is Arizona State University full of hot blonde girls because Phoenix is full of hot blonde girls, or because hot blonde girls flock to ASU from all over the United States then move back home as soon as they graduate? The answer is the latter."

Yeah Austin is the most popular spot for Californians moving out of state right now. Cheaper, less liberal, still a lot of things to do.

I can speak about the south as someone who lived there for almost a decade. If your job is truly remote, the only southern cities worth exploring are Nashville, Charleston, and maybe Savannah. If you count Florida as the south then you can have some fun with loose hot girls there too.

As a whole though, in a lot of southern cities, you will deal with the following (this is especially true for Atlanta).

Traditional people that want to get married and have kids by 25, you will be the odd one out.

Was very much the case in Atlanta, people had their fun in their college days and maybe a couple years after that in Buckhead and VA Highlands bars but that was it. Most people stuck with their tight knit crew and after that, rarely ventured out from it. It was common for girls even after college to care about what frat you were in as a great deal of southern girls that are hot are the sorority types. You also get the heavy religious self-righteous types, tons of them.

Churches down south produce sociopaths IMO. The women and men use the Bible as a facade for being prudes and self-righteous while the men who are slimey enough use church youth groups to preach Jesus one day and attempt to sleazily make moves on unsuspecting girls the other. You have to deal with a lot of slimey BS as tons of people down south are "Christians" and still stuck in the wife and kids by 25 mindset, at least in Atlanta, GA this was the case.

The reason this matters is because people will harshly judge you for sleeping around and try to ruin you for it. It is very looked down upon by these morally self-righteous types. Most will try to ruin your status and make you out to be "that guy". In many ways, south is kinda of like the Middle East.

You better be king at social circle games if you want quality.

Southern girls do not usually get with guys they are not socially familiar with or are in their crowd. The reason is, everyone down south is nosy as fuck and in everyone's business. If girls randomly go home with a guy, their social status is at risk with their friends and other guys potentially slut shaming them. The best looking girls are usually in sororities or some tight knit elitist crowd where you have to be in that crowd to score.

Breaking into those crowds is tough because guys do not want extra competition so they will shoo you away.

So if you factor it all in, I'd move to more coastal type of southern cities that are chill if you want to save money.

Charleston and Nashville are not as uptight or cliquey as an Atlanta or Charlottte/Raleigh.

As a whole though, in a lot of southern cities, you will deal with the following (this is especially true for Atlanta).

Traditional people that want to get married and have kids by 25, you will be the odd one out.

Is this true in Texas, specifically Austin? I've only visited San Antonio and I was not impressed: very suburban, no walkable residential neighborhoods, not many young women, and lots of overweight people. I think there might be a self selecting effect -- young people move to Austin since it's only a hour away, while people who want families move to San Antonio.

I'd also consider Miami, but I'm assuming it doesn't follow the typical rules of "Southern cities". Blackdragon considers Miami #1 for attractive wome.

Austin has a fun nightlife scene. It's a great spot for live music. Plenty of opportunity for socializing there. I think the biggest knock is it's grown too fast because it's a fun place to live. Pushed up cost of living, housing, and traffic is a nightmare.

Re traditional southerners: just like the demographics I spoke about, there are micro vs macro trends. This is why being in a progressive university city is good. Besides bringing in more women, it brings in better jobs, they want culture like good restaurants and night life. These people are less traditional. People with degrees delay marriage and children, prolonging single and dating life. So even in a traditional region, often a university city will have a different vibe. The local culture, even neighborhood, matters more than the macro trends.

BTW, the reason I preached male to female ratio is because it's shown to greatly affect dating behavior. When there is a shortage of men, the women compete, even to the point of allowing non-monogamy. We see the opposite when men are in excess. Women wait longer to have sex and take more control of the relationships. If you're moving for dating reasons then definitely consider the demographics, particularly of the immediate area you'll be in.

BTW, the reason I preached male to female ratio is because it's shown to greatly affect dating behavior. When there is a shortage of men, the women compete, even to the point of allowing non-monogamy. We see the opposite when men are in excess. Women wait longer to have sex and take more control of the relationships. If you're moving for dating reasons then definitely consider the demographics, particularly of the immediate area you'll be in.

I agree, but it’s tricker Than it looks to get solid data on the actual dating scene demographics. I found this article that shows the East Coast does have more single men than women, but it’s largely the result of there being many old single women:

But the story changes once we dive into age ranges. In the 18 to 24 age group, single guys outnumber gals in almost every area.

I’m not sure if it’s possible to get actual data on the exact demographic that I care about. I think I just have to go off what people with experience on the ground have to say.

If you move to a city with 1 million + people, and you look good, there should be zero problems getting laid.

Would worry less about where the "demographics" are better, move somewhere that's cheap af to live and has fun shit to do that you like.

Texas seems great, super cheap, big party scene in certain places and probably lots to do.

Florida around Miama area would probably be a blast too.

I don't normally disagree with DashedHopes but I will say this, find a city that plays well to you and your personality. From experience, I can say that the Bay Area should be avoided by any sane single man. The quality of women sucks, ratios suck, culture is dry, drinking is centered more to day drinking. Do not use the million plus rule, you can get laid in some cities regardless but the women will suck.

Culture matters a lot, my friends in Los Angeles hate it there because the nightlife is extremely cliquey and women very plastic and lacking in any substance. If you do not know anyone, it is tough to get in anywhere and everything is very spread out which makes the logistics suck.

Bad Idea Bear could talk to you about Austin but last I heard, it has become Bay Area 2.0 with weirdo chicks and bad ratios.

Don't go for the cheapest option either, often times the cheapest places are suburbs and on the outskirts. The "happening" places will always cost more to live in because more people want to live there, young popular people in particular.

I picked NYC as my city to be in not just for the ratios but because people here party hard well into their 30s, the nightlife is unrivaled, lots of hot girls, and lots of cool people. If I valued saving, I'd have stayed in Atlanta or even moved to a smaller city.

An even better idea for you OP?

Make Bumble and Tinder accounts, experiment with various locations (a different city a week using passport), and look at the quality and the matches you get.

Yea honestly, I can't say much about American cities because I have only lived in one for a few months and it sucked for getting laid but that's cause it was relatively small and I didn't have a car.

However, I just think if you can find a place with prime logistics without completely breaking the bank and it's a fun city. Not just a "good night-life" cause believe it or not, that's not what everyone enjoys most about a city.

Don't care where you live, if you live on the strip of their downtown, look good and the city has 1 Mill + people you will have 0 problem getting laid and ratios, types of girls, nightlife does not matter... Maybe a tiny bit but then that's getting way too analytic.

That's why I mentioned just find a place that you would enjoy to live and doesn't break the bank.

Florida "seems" cool (for me personally) cause Floridians are fun, adventurous and crazy which would match my personality.

Austin (texas) I've seen videos of what seems to be a fun night life with lots of excitement. I have no idea. Also seems cheap to live in Texas.

Just giving my 2 cents on what I'd look for in a city.

PRIME Logistics, activities that are fun and isn't going to cost me a fortune to live in.