TOPIC: Feeling pretty hopeless with women and not sure what to do

Big in Japan wrote: Per usual GLL rules, I shouldn't be giving advice to you (since you had more pussy than me), but I think it's quite obvious even to a non-player that your huge problem is low self-confidence

Actually, I can even see it from your photos

Girls can feel that, and not only them, everyone in your life will be disrespecting you and giving you shit if you don't start believing in yourself

It's even a problem for career etc

I've seen it on myself, I've always struggled with self-confidence (I'm not that bad looking now, but I was a fat kid, Dr Freud might find a connection there), and whenever I get a little bit drunk in good mood and get a boost of self-confidence, I suddenly become charismatic as hell, I even kissed a girl on the street in 120 seconds after meeting her and she had an amazing reaction

You would never be able to do this kind of shit if you ooze low self confidence or desperation, girls (and men, unless they're the same kind) find that creepy and disgusting even if you're good looking

Do something with that shit m8, you're a good looking guy (especially your face, not sure why you think that's the problem), so if you need to repeat to yourself every morning a fucking self-help mantra or something, do it

You're probably right man.
I think I've been living with this mindset for most of my adult life, it's just become sort of 'normal' for me, but at the end of the day it only hurts me.

I think it will be a very difficult journey towards having a good opinion of myself in the looks department and perhaps will require some more therapy to become OK with my face, but I am determined to get there.

Also laycount doesn't matter, it's about quality. I'd trade in 28 of the lays i had just to have had sex with one 7/10 girl (because majority of my lays were not attractive)

Thanks for advices in these threads everyone

Hacknmash123 wrote:
You're probably right man.
I think I've been living with this mindset for most of my adult life, it's just become sort of 'normal' for me, but at the end of the day it only hurts me.

I think it will be a very difficult journey towards having a good opinion of myself in the looks department and perhaps will require some more therapy to become OK with my face, but I am determined to get there.

Also laycount doesn't matter, it's about quality. I'd trade in 28 of the lays i had just to have had sex with one 7/10 girl (because majority of my lays were not attractive)

Thanks for advices in these threads everyone

I'm in the low self steem department too, many of us are.
Have you seen this post? www.gll-getalife.com/get-success/how-to-...with-low-self-esteem

It's nice you got around.

I had same issue as you. Same site, same idea.

I legit had a mental breakdown and depression episode and thought I was ugly and needed surgery and wouldn't get laid with hot chicks ever.

And here I am today. I couldn't even imagine being where I am today 1,5 years ago.

My advice is this. You have deep seated beliefs that are hard to change. I personally understand and don't blame you. You don't even need to stop believing them (forcing yourself to stop believing something rarely works). What advice is, continue to believe whatever you want to believe, but just give it a try and follow the advice we give you. What do you have to lose ? If you are contemplating money on a surgery then why not at least try what we suggest, it's much cheaper and might work, and if it doesn't what do you have to lose ?

You are desperate now, might as well give our advice a try, you have nothing to lose from it.

Low self-esteem doesn't mean you don't put in the work. My self esteem was SHIT for the entire AA program, and for the first 1 or 2 years of getting laid after that. Even now I'm still insecure about a tonne of things and I often feel like a complete and utter fraud who doesn't deserve to get laid at all.

Do the work, make the changes, even if you think you don't deserve the results. Just do it anyway.

Stop making excuses. Shut up and actually DO something.

dawg fuck surgery straight up! Your height is a huge plus to women, dudes would kill to be 6'1, also from your pictures you seem on the thin side....get to the gym and start to workout to get jacked to the gills! its way healthier than wack face surgery.

Start to force yourself to go to the club, bars, parties, keyword 'force'. 3 years ago i was in the same hole, just graduated highschool i was completely anti social i hated parties and dance music and i never talked to women or asked any girls out yet i had fantasy arguments in my head wondering why i couldnt get girls. I made a mental decision to go to more social events with friends, join a MMA gym on my own and started cold approach an guess what i started to get lays with quality women.

NEVER EVER give up dawg. Your goal should never be to get a girlfriend, getting a girlfriend should come organically because than you become emotionally attached to that one women an she could tear your world apart. You need to have two things which is an abundance mindset in that your talking to multiple women at any given time with any of them having the possibility of becoming your GF, also a positive attitude toward life because life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

When you see people (not only women) become more social! When you pass by someone nod your head tell some random person passing by to have a good day, be more social in general. A women will never fall into your arms or go up to you to start the conversation its a fantasy you need to erase, you need to be a man and start the interaction ask how your day is going, the time, give out compliments, just be social. Also smile more....it helps

So start to go out more, join a gym, go shopping at the mall once a week, go to the movies with some friends, etc an when you see a cute girl grow a pair an talk to her but have a purpose to leave the house that is not picking up women solely because pickup should be 2nd priority to your busy/exciting life.

TheSaint wrote: life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it

This really resonated with me, dude that is so true. Needed to hear that today, thanks. Really important to keep optimistic no matter what!

Dude i just wanted to drop by and say that you could legit be male model tier if you just lost a bit more weight you're fucking hot dude (no homo).

M4RK1S wrote: Dude i just wanted to drop by and say that you could legit be male model tier if you just lost a bit more weight you're fucking hot dude (no homo).

Thanks bud I don't think so though! I might try lose a few more lbs and get visible abs.
Every girl i've banged except 2-3 has been below a 5/10 so I doubt im attractive.

U still just talk and talk and do nothing. Nothing else to add.

edit: Actually I have to add. I am quite annoyed by the fact how many replies and advice u got here. Do something about improving yourself physically, mentally or regarding your sex life or get the fuck out of here. Thanks.

^ lol ante what happened to "I'm not going to keep giving advice to people who don't do the work"?
You're like me, you're addicted to trying to help people Even when they disappoint us 500 times in a row...

Yeah I’m shutting this conversation down. I’m gonna try to crack down on threads like this when they continue for several pages.