TOPIC: Feeling pretty hopeless with women and not sure what to do

Hacknmash123 wrote: Don't ban me man. I'm not here to complain endlessly, I actually do want help. I know the kind of impression I'm giving off from my posts, but I really am struggling with this stuff.

The reason I cold approached the girl in the shop was because I finally decided 'enough was enough' and I felt a rare feeling of determination to succeed. I've had difficulties with women for years. But I am motivated.

. Every guy I go out with gets IOI's and approach invitations, consistently, and they aren't even model-level good looking, so where the hell does that leave me?

Though I do very much appreciate what you guys are saying - I just would point out to 'killtheinnerloser' that I've seen your tinder results, and though I don't know your ratio of success (to lack of), it clearly blows mine out of the water. The last lay you posted in that thread was extremely hot. I'd be utterly content with a girl like that (I know that's not realistic however). You have 5 fuckbuddies...

I mean, if I was 'good looking' in the eyes of women, would I really be making a thread like this?

I've been on Tinder for years with nowhere near those kinds of results. It takes monumental effort to get just 1 girl to meet - and I know for a fact most guys do not have this issue. Every guy I go out with gets IOI's and approach invitations, consistently, and they aren't even model-level good looking, so where the hell does that leave me? I think you might be underestimating just how bad my situation is and how girls think about me.

killtheinnerloser wrote: You're not gonna get banned if you make changes. Bad Idea Bear just means, keep talking on here and processing your issues, but also TAKE ACTION at the same time. Make changes, etc - don't just ONLY talk about it. There's been too many guys lately who complain about their situation, we pour our hearts into giving them feedback and help, and they just ignore us and whinge some more.

Yeah I've had good results but my "ratio" would be god-awful. I don't even keep track, because what's the point? Why do I need to know how many girls have rejected me? All that matters is I get laid.

The VAST majority of girls I message on Tinder, don't ever reply. Like 80% of girls don't answer my first message. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING. 80% (OR MORE) OF GIRLS DO NOT RESPOND TO MY FIRST MESSAGE. I then send a second message to those girls and they still never respond. A week later I send them a "?" and guess what, they still never respond. So right out the gate, I'M GETTING IGNORED BY 80% OF MY MATCHES.

The ones that do reply, the majority of those aren't into BDSM. Like 80% say "I'm not interested" or "I'm interested, but only with the right person" etc.

And then the ones who are interested, the majority of THOSE don't give me a number when I ask for it. Like 70% don't give me the number.

Then when I DO get a number, the majority of those don't end up meeting me. Like 70% don't meet me.

The ones that do meet me, 100% of them I bang (literally 100% - I've never not banged a girl I meet up with, since starting my BDSM screening line).

So mate, I really am talking to 100 girls on Tinder in order to bang just 1. Coolguy mentioned 1/60 - 1/100 approaches is about how often he gets laid.

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"You have 5 fuckbuddies..."

Yes but 1 of them is hot. 2 others are definitely cute/sexy. The other 2 are fairly average. It's not realistic to expect every girl to be as hot as that last one I posted. Why do you think I was so god damn excited about her? She's the hottest girl I've ever banged IN MY LIFE. I only bang a girl that hot like once a year. (It'll be more often once I'm more attractive, which I'm working on).

"It takes monumental effort to get just 1 girl to meet - and I know for a fact most guys do not have this issue."

As Coolguy pointed out, you are delusional. You have these incorrect assumptions (like "all girls think I'm ugly"). You just ASSUME this shit to be true, like it's the gospel. But it's NOT. So you know "for a fact" most guys don't have this issue? COOLGUY AND I HAVE JUST POINTED OUT WE HAVE THE SAME "issue" (if you could even call it an issue - it's not).

At this point you need to start assuming all of your assumptions are wrong. You're like Neo in the matrix when he first wakes up. "Welcome to the real world."

Judging from my experience having met people from pua forums (and the cancerous forums) in real life, it's an odd collection of social misfits in many cases. You don't strike me as such at all, but I measure my success against my male acquaintances IRL, not online.

It's my lived experience that most 'above average' looking guys who I have met in real life can have sex with attractive women easily from apps. I cannot, thus I must be below average, because there is no great distinction in how I speak to girls online when compared to my friends, in fact I think I'm probably better at it, frankly.

To me, the evidence exists that I am not attractive, so to deny the evidence seems illogical.

CoolGuy wrote: First, if you think it's your looks, how do you explain that guys like me and killtheinnerloser are getting laid ? We look worse than you and still get laid.

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Now to your photos

Your photos are bad.

First photo

1) It's a selfie. No selfies
2) Your pictures cuts out your head, show your full head.
3) Get better shirt. You look like a boring programmer in that one
4) Choose better background

Second photo

Cool location but bad lighting and a bad photo in general, scrap it

Third photo

Low quality generic shot of you on a bicycle. Scrap it

Fourth photo

Only somewhat ok one, but could be way better.

So we already have something to work with. For now, I would chose the last one as your main.

Let's try to help you get better pics. I suggest you make a thread where you will post pics as you make them. We will guide and help you make good ones.

Jake da Dawg wrote: Damn, man, all these people giving you long ass responses and you just say "nah, it's my face".

You need to be more appreciative of the advice you get here. Nowhere else will you get the quality of advice you get here, not even if you pay for it.

Like, in the time it took them to write their responses, killtheinnerloser could have spent "quality time" with one of his fuckbuddies, or taken better pictures, or scratch his balls, coolguy could've done the same.

These two dudes spent several minutes (maybe even a couple hours) trying to help YOU, and you are unwilling to listen.

It's not your face, it's your mindset, you need to change your mindset. This is the best forum to improve if you're truly willing to put in the work, but you won't get sympathy unless you do put in the work.

Also, if you're willing to spend the cost of a small house in a developing world country on surgery, then just get a damn dslr and get it over with. Stop taking pics with your potato phone and expecting super hot girls (who actually spend more time and effort into taking good pics than you do) to want to fuck you.

Jake da Dawg wrote: Also, if you're willing to spend the cost of a small house in a developing world country on surgery, then just get a damn dslr and get it over with. Stop taking pics with your potato phone and expecting super hot girls (who actually spend more time and effort into taking good pics than you do) to want to fuck you.

Hacknmash123 wrote: You both look better than me in the eyes of most women, that's how. The proof is in the pudding. You don't have the same flaws I do.

If a DSLR camera is required how come I managed to get tons ol matches just by photoshopping my pics (which were poor quality???)