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I am going to be completely honest to the best of my capabilities. Its gonna be messy and a lot of what I write might be a bit controversial.
And know that I wish above all to give a fair set of reflections of life these past few years whilst embracing the GLL experience. An appraisal of the varying degrees of success and my resulting journey without holding back in the slightest.
An attempt to navigate the labyrinth of my mind with the goal of working out the next step as well as serving as a memoir to guys who are very inexperienced and struggling a lot.
This thread of posts is directed at guys who may be
a) Struggling majorly to make any progress with getting laid despite enormous efforts
b) Who feel that they have been dealt a poor deck of genetic cards and are questioning whether unleashing a full blown effort on getting laid is worth it
PART 1: 2018 the year of frustration and failure
I’ll be blunt. 0 bangs 9 months into this year. Almost 300 approaches resulting in 10 failed dates.
Over 500 approaches since my last cold approach lay last summer.
10 months since my last new lay period.
I started irregularly cold/day approaching in 2014/2015, lost my virginity (from online dating), had a 1.5 train wreck relationship and then got ‘deadly serious’ about getting pussy from the start of 2016.
This period I dubbed ‘the golden eagle project’ which gradually fizzled out early 2017 due to factors such as a massive increase in work commitments.
I fucked 8 girls from cold approach (out of 1600 approaches thus far) from dating over 60 girls (and almost 120 dates in total).
I fucked 24 from tinder from dating 65 girls (over 100 dates in total).
In total that is 32 lays (not including my 1st girl in 2014) from approximately 220 dates with 75% of successes coming from online dating. Mostly in Eastern Europe but a sizeable chunk in Latin/South America also.
It took me almost 500 approaches to get my very first cold approach lay during my ‘golden eagle’ campaign 2 years ago. I have actually beaten my own failure record.
Around Easter I noticed my phone had somehow stored the numbers of 50+ girls I thought I had deleted over the past couple of years.
I messaged them all. Managed to spark up a couple of dates. Both were royal screw ups.
I was referred to 2 other girls by buddies. Social circle game of some kind. Historically this never happened before.
One rejected me when she saw photos my friend sent her. A girl he fucked immediately.
Another I actually met. She was barely a 5. She rejected me. She also went over to my friend’s place after and fucked him all night.
Out of all my buddies hunting for pussy hard all year, I am the only one who hasn’t gotten any luck. I was always the one receiving excited texts about new bangs and success which is hilarious because most of these guys regularly complain about how much ‘harder’ it is getting.
I failed to get a single date from tinder all year. From being a reasonably reliable screening tool 2 years ago to virtually useless now. This is despite upgrading my photos to the best they have ever been with several professional grade DSLR camera photos.
It probably sounds like I’m trolling but it is true.
And amusing in a way and it might surprise you to know I smile as I write this.
I am almost certain I have not become less attractive.
2 years ago after the ‘switch was flipped’ I unleashed ‘the Golden Eagle campaign’ and put a Herculean, minotaurian effort into maximising my looks and style.
- I am only 5’7 so I got 2.5 inch insoles to make myself ‘average height’
- Got the most jacked I had ever been reaching 9% body-fat at my peak at 175lbs
- After failing with my receding hairline for years, shaved it off and got a head tattoo
- Fixed my bat ears with ear pinning surgery
- Followed a rigorous facial skin routine
- Paid for personal approaching training with 2 separate ‘experts’
- Paid for infield ‘dating’ training with an ‘expert’
- Spent over 3000 bucks cumulatively optimising my style even hiring a style consultant
In 2017 - once the project started to slow down as my offshore oil/gas work picked up majorly I kept my foot on the pedal with some riskier looks enhancement experiments:
- Experimented SARMs with my hamster making crazy ‘get jacked’ gains
- Tanned my hamsters golden with Melanotan-2
More and more risky methods but I was going to do ‘whatever it takes’ and so I did.
I knew I would never be in the top 10-20% of looks due to genetic limitations in facial aesthetics and height. I don’t think anyone can dispute that.
Having said that, I was still utilising what I believe are the very peaks of my genetic potential. For a time I felt average to above average levels of confidence.
Only proper anabolic steroids, full tattoos (aside from my SMP) and jawline surgery are options I have not yet entertained.
This year the SARMs project reached new heights and I have committed myself to building a mighty beard utilising minoxidil. Steroids are not yet possible due to logistical limitations and I am still on the fence about tattoos. Jawline surgery depends on how the ‘minoxidil beard’ project goes.
Yet my 33 notch count hasn’t budged.
It is very curious and strange.
No-one I know can explain it entirely. Yet most guys I know who hit on girls during the day and smash tinder agree ‘its getting harder.’ Most of my buddies on a similar journey to myself were killing it compared to me this year. But they all felt like they had to put in way more effort than a couple of years ago.
Despite everything, I am proud to say that this year I didn’t have a single nervous melt down or with only fleeting periods of mild depression.
That isn’t to say I am happy about the fact that I have not ‘levelled’ up as I deeply hoped.
But I know I have not been defeated no matter how many battles I lose and never will lose the war long as I keep fighting. Because I have experienced some success. And I know what is possible despite the poor odds.
Especially given how hopeless my situation was 5 years ago…
PART 2: A little perspective – a shadow of the past
It is terrifying how fast life flies by these days.
The last 5 years seem to have vanished like a fart in the breeze.
I suddenly stumbled into my 30th year. I am not sad about this. I am quite excited. A new chapter of my life approaches enthusiastically. A new era for the eagle.
My 30th year was always meant to mark the end of a 5 year plan I had pre-chosen almost immediately after making an account here back in 2013.
I made pledges to myself back then. My 25 year-old self to the man writing to you guys on this special day.
In case you didn’t know or didn’t guess I was a bit of a lost cause back then.
I had almost completely given up on girls. Other parts of my life were going ‘so so’ but it didn’t matter.
Nothing mattered because I wasn’t getting pussy.
I was a virgin (in the non-paid sense) with a tiny handful of kisses and a fleeting sexless university relationship under my belt.
Several 100s of night time approaches over 5-6 years going out thrice a week. Fuck knows how many litres of alcohol I consumed or how many harsh, ego crushing rejections I endured. I was brought to the brink.
I didn’t realise I was below average looking and didn’t have the foresight to get on top of my massive receding hairline while I still could.
Or to dress in fitting clothes that didn’t make me look like a socially retarded nerd.
I have a highly introverted and very neurotic personality type which made dealing with rejection and many other life issues even more challenging and painful than they would normally be.
I reached rock bottom. Many times, in fact. I created a negative feedback loop of bad experiences with women amplified by my being a complete loser. I became intensely bitter, misogynistic and angry at the world and life. I was a spider’s web of deep-seated issues and unresolved beefs. Most were related to my ‘bottom lobster’ status at school.
It spiralled downwards no matter how many times I attempted to try again. I was trapped in the heart of darkness.
In was only when I embraced the GLL community that I bounced back up with enough momentum. Not rolling slowly halfway up a hill only to roll back down again as had been the case so many times.
Many of you guys have experienced this. You encounter all this ‘noise’ on the internet from gurus preaching ‘game.’ Stuff that makes so much sense yet you somehow keep failing to apply to your life.
There is just an enigmatic something about GLL that changes everything. And change everything it did.
I pledged myself the following promises. Before I reach age 30:
- 1) Make enough money working at sea to buy an apartment without mortgage loans and still have enough money to retire from work and start a business mission. This would provide the foundation for future passive income as well as retirement wealth.
- 2) Lose virginity and become good enough with women to have pussy in my life whenever I want
I saved enough money to quit my job and a mortgage deposit but nothing more. This was achievable. I had no debt since 2013 so there was no excuse. I was simply absolute shit at saving money.
I massively underachieved on the first front.
But what about the latter?
I lost my virginity sure (a few months after joining GLL in fact!). After a month tour of Eastern Europe. That was magical. I wrote a detailed thread on it.
And what of getting my sex life sorted?
Lately I discovered there is a name for guys like me back then. ‘Incels’ or ‘involuntary celibates.’
Not the media meme of a mental illness driven psychopath shooting up schools, driving trucks into crowds and meowing like a cat.
Really just a subset of a growing generational problem of young men who are particularly socially incompetent with women (and people in general).
Almost always its due to a combination of coalescing experiences, genetics and events as with anything. Add to that the social political times we live in (feminism, culture of snowflakes, micro-aggressions and left-wing domination). It’s all interconnected and related and not worth going into here and now.
But having really meditated on it I can truly take my fedora off to my 25-year-old me.
He totally fucking killed it.
He made that fateful, solemn unbreakable choice that enough was enough.
Because if it KILLED him he was going to get this severe gash of underachievement which burned with pain every day sorted. This excruciating weakness, this hole in his soul. The black mirror.
I remember that moment of change came when listening to GLL’s podcast with SSK08 (now a good friend of mine). I remember thinking YES!!!! This is me! ‘I really feel like I will die if things don’t change.’
Lately I invited a young man to this forum after feeding him propaganda about the GLL community. Reading the support, feedback and generous advice bestowed upon him brings a tear to my eye. I remember the feeling 5 years ago that the tide was about to turn. That I would soon kiss my miserable sex-less teenage years and early 20s goodbye forever.
It was that authenticity from GLL and his unique, golden community that inspired me. A diamond in the rough I never imagined I would find. Together we gave myself permission. With their support and genuineness.
I agreed with myself to let go of the guilt. To do what my heart truly wanted to do. To devote myself 100% to getting pussy during my late 20s. To have a fulfilling sex life.
Because that was exactly 100% what my heart desired.
It would be a huge investment that would pay dividends. I knew once I put the work in and achieved results I would never need to work so hard again.
I would be able to devote myself to an unknown probably entrepreneurial ‘mission’ guilt free once this mighty push was over knowing this ‘ultimate area of weakness’ in my existence was sorted once and for all.
This was the deal. My late 20s in exchange for ‘never having to put in so much effort again.’
Let me repeat: ‘the idea I would never have to put in so much effort again.’
What was far more important than (hopefully) several incidences of ego-gratifying, pleasure-less condom sex with multiple girls whose names I would barely recall in a couple of years was this:
That I could safely focus on other pursuits whilst still maintaining and developing a healthy sex life with minimal effort.
To focus on my ‘as of yet’ unknown mission probably involving becoming a rich entrepreneur making the world a better place.
But never having to worry about pussy and intimacy again.
This is what drove me.
a) Late 20s: all about pussy and becoming attractive/skilled enough to get it at will
b) 30s+ retire from corporate world entirely and work for myself and make a ton of money and achieve some kind of mission in life
This was ‘success’ as defined by me before chasing it (GLL principle #3).
I think most guys here have similar desires. Especially the guys who give themselves permission to focus on pussy primarily at least for a time.
As has been alluded to many times in this forum, going all out with girls is indescribably taxing – particularly emotionally.
I imagine so is trying to become a self-employed businessman. Doing both is out of the question for anyone who isn’t a marvel superhero. Oh wait, none of them manage that, whether Clark Kent or Peter Parker.
To accomplish this means saving lots of money to help provide the foundation for my 30s, seeding the plant of passive income as well as securing my retirement (assuming property values go up in the long run). To do this means needing to work a lot, ideally in a decently paid job whilst still being able to chase pussy.
I had a fairly unique corporate job after all!
Offshore oil – decent pay (though nothing like as well-paid as many people think– $40-60k typically) with approximately half the year off. With around 150 days plus off (albeit very ad hoc and irregularly spaced – no 4 on 4 off routine sadly) I should have more than enough time to get this pussy project sorted…
It is no accident my year of glory came 2 years ago when the oil downturn occurred.
When I was an inch from losing my job. Yet ended up working only 6 weeks during the entire year whilst still being paid a basic salary.
The planets aligned and there was no better time than now to go all out, balls to the wall.
For the first time in my life I truly felt like I had a mission I had to accomplish no matter what. I’ve always been incredibly lazy and unmotivated at 90% of what I do.
And then it happened. The Golden Eagle project I had been preparing for all my life but didn’t know it. 16 lays after working harder than I had ever worked at anything in my life and that includes anything.
In retrospect, if it weren’t for the oil downturn I don’t think this project would have been possible. I will go into details for this later.
In 2017 the industry picked up again. I found myself working the usual 6 months again spread erratically throughout the year. Good for money. Good for pussy and continuing my golden eagle journey?
I thought in my naivety that with all of my 200+ dates, 30+ lays and wind-fall of successes, I could just blast and cruise when it came to girls.
In other words, my plan from the start.
Instead of approaching 50+ girls a week as was normal (and barely sustainable) 2 years ago, I would do 20 or less instead. Having worker harder, not smarter (GLL Principle #2) I had surely now earned the right to ‘work smarter.’
I would focus as usual on improving my style (which has been a major weakness and sticking point I wrestle with to this day) and body.
I would focus more on really connecting with the girl to reduce flake rates and increase time efficiency and set the path for beginning to focus on other important areas in life.
The golden eagle project fizzled out into nothing by the middle of 2017. I ran out of prospects, leads and though I had a crazy fortnight in Mexico to top it all off, my progress grinded slowly to a halt.
A year later I realised I had fallen short of my deepest hopes.
I had truly hoped I would be just like some of the major successes the GLL community has produced. The guys who were gifted with good looks that were simply hidden under high body-fat and poor style with unrealised social freedom.
Let me set something straight here and now.
Regardless of your ‘potential.’ Regardless of how you start out you will struggle.
The tallest, best looking guys all went through the AA program and paid their dues.
They all were operating at 100% and then some.
Many were working a super stressful soul-destroying job concurrently.
There is no real difference between the struggle of the guys with ‘high potential’ (dc07, BIB, Grim Reaper etc.) and the guys with ‘lower potential’ such as yours truly. They will struggle alike.
At the beginning. Then things start to deviate.
Most of those guys have worked just as hard as me, if not more so!
The guys who reach the true GLL potential and are able to transition to a place in life where they don’t need to make chasing pussy a full time job and are able to focus on other things… To be able to approach 100 girls over a month or 2 and bang 3-4 girls. All the while developing an entrepreneurial business.
They all had strong potential. Height and looks.
I didn’t reach my dream goals. I totally bombed when it came to the financial goal. That one was perfectly achievable but I just didn’t it badly enough. I didn’t burn for it as I did with pussy. Besides which as I mentioned, I am unimaginably lazy when it comes to anything I am not passionate about.
More accurately, my blind drive towards pussy distracted me from anything and everything else in life.
2018 proved I was not the equal of fully accomplishing this goal to be able to get pussy consistently and sustainably such that I can safely focus on money.
PART 4: The real reason I didn’t get laid in 2018. And the solution
So why did I fail? I have several theories but I don’t believe it is down to any individual one. Rather a combination of all these.
A combination of ‘minor factors’ and one major one.
I have been thinking about this a LOT lately.
1) The minor factors: The East catches up to the West
Firstly, I could never get laid in my own country.
That is not 100% true as I had an opportunity to lose my virginity during the first few months of 2014 when I had made excellent headway with my looks, style and AA before I went to Central/Eastern Europe and lost it for real.
I backed out because that girl was crazy as fuck single mother who made me feel super uncomfortable.
Most of my experiences with my country’s women more negative than positive. A lot of it is simply to do with how they are and how I am. When you travel you realise this ‘how they are’ and that isn’t what you generally want. Particularly when you have my personality type.
A couple of things I learned when travelling internationally.
Firstly, no matter where you go 99% of women want nothing to do with you sexually.
Secondly, a major thing I learned from all my travels is that the more economically developed a country is (and the more English is spoken), the more poorly women treat men whom they have no sexual interest in. I truly believe that.
Of course, most of it is the down to the kind of man I am. I am a sensitive, introverted and emotional person. I simply cannot endure consistent rudeness from women in the long term. Women who are not ‘nice’ to anyone they aren’t sexually interested in.
In my particular part of the country young women are often savagely brutal when it comes to rejecting men. In the process all of my issues ‘bubbles to the surface’ of the frying pan.
I am relatively more stoic, emotionally tempered and thick-skinned now of course because having experienced the full spectrum of female behaviour from positive to negative no matter where you go. In
So perhaps it may not necessarily be entirely the case I couldn’t get laid in my own turf as much as the fact I wasn’t willing to interact with the local market when I had knowledge of what I perceived to be superior markets.
I did what my heart told me (when I got fateful middle finger at that bar from this blonde wench) and moved to Central and Eastern Europe sampling various countries.
It is well known this part of the world is more conservative than the more liberal ‘anglo-sphere.’ This is more true the further east you go.
However, it was also taken for granted it is easier to ‘meet’ (though not fuck) women there if you are a foreigner.
A man who meets a lot more women in a more conservative country will fuck more girls than a man who meets far less girls in a relatively liberal country.
It was there I carried out the vast majority of my efforts and approaches and ultimately achieved a handful of successes.
So what changed?
Tinder and other online platforms where 75% of my successes came from became far less reliable.
Flakes rates increased drastically. The fewer matches I had no longer responded.
The rest of the world has adopted social media, Instagram and mediums by which legions of men can contact any individual girl online.
Globalisation? Westernisation? Whatever. Technology. One thing for certain is it will never slow down. Economic collapses and nuclear holocausts aside.
Girls in these ‘easier’ places now have so much more choice and options with men from all over the world that the average man who wants a sex life at all (never mind a sex life that doesn’t involve having to promise monogamy to a girl) needs to become well above average to stand a chance.
I am not saying its right or wrong. Its just how it is.
I realise this is a controversial point of view and that this can easily be countered by saying: ‘well just become above average! Most men are gross and unfuckable anyway so it’s easy!’ And I believe that is largely true.
Until you can’t become above average and become part of the ‘selected’ top group of men no matter what you do because you have been gated out by the ever rising ‘bar of standards.’
So if you went to less westernised parts of the world to get an advantage (which never really was a major advantage in the first place but definitely enough to make enough of a difference) when you had troubles in your own country and put in just as much effort you would gotten results like I did.
SSK08 and I used to talk about this a lot. This idea ‘you could always be just below the threshold.’ That could be the 0.5 difference between being a 6.5 or a 7. Being a 6.5 in Britain (Sweden in his case) might translate to a ‘7’ in Czech Republic for example. In South-East Asia you could easily get a far bigger boost, being even an ‘8.’
Nonetheless, you go now and you realise that it was just a matter of time before the market catches up and equilibrium is achieved.
Eastern Europe for me now is slowly catching up in difficulty to the UK. Girls are just a tiny smidgen nicer on average when you approach them and more feminine which is still big enough of an incentive for me to keep trying.
But Bastard why not just live in South America if it is so much easier there???
To that I say: in the end it only matters where you spend most of your time.
For example, I banged 9 girls in a fortnight inviting girls directly to my apartment on tinder in Latin America.
Yet it took me the entire year to achieve a similar number in Europe.
For various reasons not relating to women I do not live in Latin America.
So, while I can say location is important in terms of how well you can do, there is a major difference between visiting a place for the purpose of love tourism alone and living somewhere most of the time where girls are a major factor but not the only or most important factor.
Eastern Europe is cheaper, relatively safe, full of beautiful and feminine women and within range for my offshore work. Not that is without its large share of problems but I digress.
Another related factor is dating apps are catering more and more to women.
Tinder for example keeps changing their algorithms to affect the ranking system so less men get shown to fewer women resulting in fewer matches.
Boosts, premium versions and other paid functions become more and more important. Even plenty of good looking men I know who were killing it before are doing far worse.
So thus far it looks like I am blaming it on external factors and not myself.
I admit that.
In the end it is and always will be a numbers game. And I hit those numbers hard with a sledge-hammer.
There is another factor which I believe is FAR greater which is butchering my success with women no matter how much I spin my wheels.
2) My work and my ‘mission’ in life
I highly recommend all guys read ‘The Unchained Man’ by Caleb Jones (writer of the Blackdragon blog focused more on ‘relationship skills’ and ‘open relationships’).
Fantastic book about becoming an Alpha 2.0 whose primarily ‘mission’ in life is happiness.
There is a wonderful part where he talks about various levels of ‘mission’ related to what your financial life is focused on. Something like this:
- Level 1: Unemployed, or doing a minimum wage job at a fast food store than you cannot sustain yourself with or not doing anything at all with no source of income aside from welfare to help you.
- Level 2: Corporate career with wage ceilings promotion dependent. The middle-class ‘post college’ job where pay rises are small and at the discretion of a ‘boss.’ You most likely hate the job and spend all of your time fantasising about doing something else or waiting to die. To me it is analogous to a bad monogamous relationship. One where you are a beta male getting sex occasionally at the boss’s discretion a bit like a salary with the occasional raise (more likely demotion).
- Level 3: Reaching a self-employed status where you have made your own company and have total freedom to work whenever you want. It might not be ideal (you might need to work 60 hours a week or have employees you need to manage and pay).
- Level 4: Same as Level 3 only you don’t regard it as a job that you ‘have to do’ but that fulfils you entirely and is aligned with your ‘mission’ in life to achieve happiness by whatever means. Ideally you would work less than 40 hours a week, from home and with as few employees (if any) as possible.
I would say I am between Level 2 and 3 simply because once you reach a certain level of experience you can ‘go freelance’ and work at sea whenever you want as opposed to whenever your boss tells you.
However, it is simply not the same as being your own boss because you still work at sea for several weeks at a time and are faced with the all the limitations which hinder your lifestyle and progress.
These are challenges I’ve encountered for the past 6 years more or less:
- Constantly changing shift patterns – coming in and out of night shift is dangerous in the long run because sleep is the ultimate determinant of lifespan, cancer and diseases and health
- Food is tasty but super deep fried and unhealthy with all kinds of preservatives and junk. Ok for a bodybuilding perspective (though counting calories is virtually impossible) but for health, no
- Using performance enhancing drugs (especially with needles such as testosterone) is almost impossible because you are constantly traveling going through customs at airports and the ship/rig policies are usually hyper strict. This makes using steroids for self-improvement purposes virtually impossible.
- Keeping things going with girls whether girls you approached or girls you are in some kind of relationship with is exceptionally tough. Most interactions fizzle out and I have lost most of my girls due to being away too much and too irregularly. This might be the single greatest factor in my underachieving with lays.
- You end up feeling considerably more needy and beta than usual because you are alone, isolated on a ship full of guys in the middle of the sea and the highlight of your day is going to the internet room to check if anyone messaged you.
- The people you work with can be a mixed bag and for every green triangle caramel there is a horrible tough toffee who makes life hell. And you have to deal with them every single day with no means of escape. This is the worst aspect by far.
- And the work can be incredibly tough and gruelling especially when it involves you sitting in a chair staring at 12 computer screens every single day 12+ hours, 84+ hours a week and having to be 100% alert.
Of course, all of the above build character and make you tougher in the long run. You are forced to become more extraverted for example even if your starting baseline of introversion was very high.
Other benefits are obviously mid-upper middle-class pay and having time-off when you aren’t working offshore. You end up cumulatively working far more hours than someone in a 9-5 office throughout the year but you get your ‘time-off’ in lump sums of a few to several weeks.
I think it is no coincidence that my breakthrough year the Golden eagle period was 2016. Because of the oil down turn I ended up working ¼ the days I normally work giving me massive lengths of free time.
I gained momentum and never ended up taking long breaks from cold approach such that I became rusty.
This year I did separate block campaigns of 100 approaches+ (each 1 month long) as well as a week trip in Central Asia. The results were dismal.
There is no doubt in my mind that being stuck at Level 2 in the work life is messing with my ability to get girls.
I do not feel like an alpha male who does whatever he wants.
Who lives on his terms. Who is his own boss. Who decides when he works and makes his own money without anyone else telling him what to do.
My subconscious knows this. It probably projects out the same meek, constantly fatigued quiet guy ‘who can’t banter’ to women I meet as on the ship.
The truth is I am shit at my job mostly due to a lack of interest and passion. I am surrounded by guys who are far more intelligent and extroverted than me. I am constantly feeling emasculated and inferior. That I am getting nowhere in life and that I have no meaningful purpose.
I feel this more every day.
Because the way I live life is not aligned with a mission that I wake up for every day that I want to do and accomplish. It is a soul-destroying waste of life. Every day I cross off another day lost to the abyss of time forever more.
This is exacerbated by the fact I am burned out spiritually and emotionally from the cumulative rejections. By this I mean the horrendous approach to lay ratio has caused my subconscious to internalise the notion I am ‘low value’ and unattractive.
I can’t recall who made this analogy but I remember reading that every man is a jar full of pennies. Every time you are rejected you lose a penny. Every time you succeed (even if it is not a lay as much as a positive interaction) you gain one. When the jar is empty he is done.
These days I feel like penny balance is -1000. And it shows whenever I interact with a girl. She can ‘feel’ it.
Do you know how I know this?
Because during one of my campaigns I managed to secretly video record my approaches. I had always been very uncomfortable with the idea as well as fearing I would be caught.
However, I managed to make a 1.5 hour compilation of dozens of approaches using a secret camera. And I learned video editing in the process.
I showed it to several buddies I trust and know 100% get laid. I even paid a hefty sum to my old ‘day game’ coach to fully critique it.
Most of them agreed there was something very robotic in my manner and voice. As if I had lost before I had even started. That was sure how I felt.
I am burned out long term probably because I have internalised just the sheer volume and grind of effort it takes to get casual sex. When my subconscious knows it takes several hundred approaches to get laid. Not so much with the approaching as much as the dating.
When it knows 85-90% of women I date disappear before I can fuck them.
It just becomes impossible to justify continuing.
But continue I do and always plan to do.
I have kept pedalling on and on even though I knew that magnificent wave of enthusiasm, novelty passion and excitement that propelled me through the asteroid field is spent.
Perhaps I could take another 2-3 years off from my life. Another 1500+ approaches. Maybe get another 8 cold approach lays mostly due to the law and luck of statistics. After all every rejection is a statistical step closer to success.
But what good would come of that? I wouldn’t have proved anything to myself. I would have just wasted more of my few remaining prime youthful years which could have been spent trialling entrepreneurial pursuits. Stuff you could argue I should have done in my 20s.
The conundrum lies in the reality I am not sure how to fix this issue whilst not wasting any more of my life.
Much of my thought has been focused on this.
Ultimately, I think the cure is simple. The solution is obvious.
Find my mission.
Become fully financially independent and live a life I am proud of. Which brings me self-esteem and inspiration to seize the day. To do something I am very good at, not something I am shit at and which makes me feel like shit. Something I was born to do.
I think this is the most important ingredient the cauldron of pussy success needs before I will make any more improvements beyond tiny fine-tunings in my looks and style adjustments.
The truth is that at this moment, I don’t desire it enough. I don’t have that fire – that burning passion. As long as my mission remains ‘unclear’ I believe that will not change. Define success before you chase it as GLL says.
GLL also said the comfort zone is a scary place to be. My current lifestyle is indeed very scary. I am sure there will come a day when deep inside my soul, I decide enough is enough.
Back in 2014 I wasn’t ready for the Golden Eagle project. My calling had not come. I didn’t know what I wanted to achieve. It took a full, 1.5 year long relationship before I realised the time had come. I was ready. I was never so sure of what I wanted in my life.
It will happen again. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. When I reach rock bottom and can take no more. When I truly realise as I did once before: ‘not trying will be your biggest regret.’
Because when I make it happen and become a true alpha male 2.0 running his own life, wherever he desires, answering to no boss and being a free man, I am sure this problem I am having consistently getting women will fix. Combined with consistent efforts, the problem will iron itself out.
PART 5: My message to ‘incels’ and guys who are really struggling to get laid
I do realise I have sounded very negative and defeatist.
I don’t mean to be. I mean only to be 100% transparent and honest.
Most likely I expect too much and maybe have been too hard on myself.
The reality is, perhaps surprisingly, I am not particularly unhappy!
Compared to the pre-GLL 2013 version of me I am considerably happier!
I am no longer haunted every night by what could have been – about missing the boat and being a 45 year old pseudo-virgin with a neck beard and bald patches who missed out on pussy with no hope at all.
Creepily leering at 20 year old college girls cursing his 25 year old self for being such a spineless loser.
I realised for the first time in my life I had faced a supremely difficult challenge I wasn’t even sure I was capable of accomplishing. By sheer persistence I succeeded.
And I proved to myself I am in fact capable of achieving difficult tasks. I wasn’t stupid with a low IQ. Quitting porn was also a huge challenge I am very proud of. But nothing was like this project.
If I am capable of this, who knows what else I am truly able to do if I aligned my focus and obsession with it?
Persistence truly is the greatest strength a man can have stereotypical as it is.
You need just the passion, the desire and unrelenting will to do whatever it takes to get pussy. As well as fully embracing the GLL community and absorbing all the help they will generously throw your way.
It isn’t just about quick, ego gratifying and forgettable (over time) condom sex to build that core ‘advanced confidence and entitlement.’
It is also very much about developing deep, loving connections with a woman (or women).
It is the player lifestyle that chooses the man, not vice versa.
My encounter with my first ‘love’ was perhaps the most magical few days of my entire life. It brings a tear to my eye when I sit down and really think about it.
After a near-disaster involving a broken condom, an adventure ensued which ultimately resulted in us bonding very strongly and quickly committing to a relationship. Suddenly I found myself flying to her country after my offshore trips, splitting my time between there and my home country.
For a very short period I was happy. I made her my first girlfriend. More out of insecurity and lack of abundance mentality. Not to say she wasn’t cute and leagues above what I biasedly perceived to be an inferior choice of girls in my home country.
This relationship quickly turned to a living hell, nightmare when it became painfully obvious we were not compatible at all and that the girl had some issues I had no hope of contending with. It got very nasty at some point and things started to pan out like a soap opera. I lost count how many times I tried to leave her.
After that year and a half I had a deep understanding and firm criteria for what I was willing to accept in any kind of relationship. It was such a train wreck at the time I wasn’t sure if I wanted one again actually.
I learned more about women in that 1.5 year period than during my entire life up to our fateful meeting. I knew well what my standards and boundaries were and had no intention of living the rollercoaster of highs and lows of a monogamous relationship with a woman that you have not thoroughly vetted first.
The time immediately after I ended things was painful. Dumping someone is nothing like as painful as being dumped. But it was very unpleasant.
But it was at this moment I realised I had to try and become a player and fuck a shit ton of hot girls.
It wasn’t about notches for the sake of notches though that was part of it you understand. It was about having CHOICE.
The more girls you sleep with the greater pool of girls you can screen out for something more serious, should that be what you heart eventually desires.
Screening girls for the joy they bring to your life no matter what form that takes is what I am most interested in. Don’t know about you?
And this whole argument about conservative women with fewer sexual partners being more loyal, marriage material blah blah blah has been proven to be horse shit. And I can tell you first hand fucking a virgin won’t make her this loyal little wife devoted to you now and for ever.
Anyway, the time was ripe for me to begin screening for a better woman. As an introvert I did not feel comfortable investing all of my emotions in just one woman. Even before I knew about the horrific risks to a man with marriage and children I have always been put off by monogamy.
If I was ever going to settle for such an arrangement, I should at least ‘screen’ girls to ensure they will not bombard me with drama and pain, making my life worse rather than better.
The Golden Eagle journey was so supercharged with life energy and passion because I KNEW I was fighting for so much more than just pussy and notches.
I was fighting for my future happiness! My future marriage maybe and even family!
To become part of that 1% of men who break free from the shackles of societal programming and indoctrination. Dogma that brainwashes you to do things that make you unhappy ‘for the greater good.’
This is all in spite of the fact that there has never been a time of less incentive for men to be monogamous and play the marriage game. Fuck if 30% of men went on strike against marriage that would probably be enough to remove all this anti-male bullshit. Anyway, I digress.
I think you get the point about what I am fighting for here. Getting notches is fun but what is really important is to KNOW you can get laid with a degree or effort that you personally are satisfied with.
Plenty of gurus think anything more than 50 approaches for any man who isn’t a beginner is a ridiculously bad return on investment.
For me personally, I would be more than happy with 1 new girl per 100 approaches on average. It’s a lot of work but it means getting 1 new girl every month or 2 is doable, repeatable and sustainable for long term happiness and keeping the mind full of abundance. A natural protection against desperation, despair and pedestalising individual girls.
The reality is that if you are not tall and handsome (yes after maxing yourself out as all the GLL veterans here have done) like the adonises on this forum you will haul major ass no matter what. Even if you are a ‘Chad’ in many cases!
If, like me, you are not able to become above-average (I am consider myself a ‘slight touch’ above average now at best – a ‘6’), don’t want to or can’t use the more extreme improvement techniques (tattoos, leg lengthening, roids etc.) then you will be putting in many times the effort for less than half the results.
‘Dude the shortness and little bald head totally fuck you bro!’ (my friend Big Mac from Texas is the only guy I know who can say that in a way that isn’t offensive!)
I am actually quite grateful to the few guys who both get laid a lot AND are honest enough to tell me my fears about my genetic ceiling are real.
When I asked Roosh V in person to tell me why I was doing so badly in Central Europe he told me I would be considered below average there and that the only thing I could do if I didn’t want to suffer from ‘chronic rejection and burnout’ is to explore other countries where my look would be looked upon more favourably.
To have any kind of success you need to want pussy more than anything and this is something you can’t fake.
And there may never come a point after ‘beginner’s hell’ that gradually you can put in far less effort into having a sustainable sex life. You can only play the cards you were dealt with. As we say at sea ‘you can only piss with the cock you’ve got!’
This is reality, common sense and the law of the universe.
In the end the universe owes you the square root of fuck all.
There is no such thing as karma, there is no ‘day game god’ and there is no fairness.
There is only very hard work and the inevitable, gradual results that you will reap as long as you don’t give up.
If my 25 year old self were to have a chat with my 30 year old self, the younger me would have a LOT to look forward to.
Because in amongst the countless lows, nervous breakdowns and rock bottoms there were some truly wonderful experiences which bring a fucking tear to my eye whenever I permit myself to remember them.
Off the top of my head:
When I was in that bus to some random Eastern European city in 2014 barely a few months after joining GLL. After 3 weeks of living the traveling player lifestyle (without the lays). Praying to a god I didn’t believe in that this would be it. And it was. Meeting a girl from online at her university halls, fucking her in the shower 45 minutes after meeting her. Followed by a 1.5 year long relationship where I experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows in my life.
Like when I got my first cold approach lay with a blonde cutie with giant boobs after 4 months of effort and nearly 500 approaches. After almost burning out completely. That moment when she came round to mine in that fiery red dress on date 2. When she asked if I had a condom…
Like when I bombed in Prague and Budapest, 2 central European ‘hot spots’ after 2 weeks of Herculean effort in each. When I finally knew what it was like to have sex with a solid 8. That feeling of trying to freeze the event in my mind forever as I ravaged this Slovakian beauty doggy style in my cheap basement air b and b. Sadly we never met again (she blocked me) but those memories will never die.
Like when Ukraine almost crushed the soul out of me in every sense. When I had been so close to giving up, drinking an entire bottle of vodka one particularly awful night when I got rejected by an 8 on the third when I thought it was SO on…But on the last 2 days of the month trip I left Kiev with 2 high quality girls under my belt. The fact I lost both due to some truly retarded mistakes the next year didn’t matter. But then that epic pair of victories the last fucking 2 days… I could not remember experiencing such joy.
Like when I was in Brazil and this hostel owner/yoga teacher girl I approached in the park sang and played her yoga guitar thing for me in that park. How relaxing and sensual that was. And when I fucked her in her hostel a day later. When she looked in my eyes and told me ‘you are so…. beautiful!’
Approaching a girl with my ideal physique on a bus. The biggest, most perfect ass I had ever seen. A 1 minute interaction that led to deflowering my first (and only) virgin after a ‘4 date war.’ That moment when I truly felt like I had levelled up.
And then my grandest hour in my whole journey. The ultimate ‘rebate’ for all of my efforts which concluded my golden eagle project in the most biblically epic manner imaginable. Arriving in Latin America on New years Day and managing to successfully invite 9 girls from tinder directly to my place. And banging each and every one of them (including an Instagram model) within 20 minutes. All over the course of a fortnight.
I won’t indulge you with the plethora of rock bottoms and failures. The smorgasbord of rejections. After all, 99%+ of all my experiences were such. I could write a multi-volume book series about them. Maybe I will if there anyone is interested.
Would I really do it all again knowing what was in store for me? And where I am now. I am not entirely sure actually. There were a LOT of terrible lows.
Probably for the best it isn’t possible to see the future.
That sense of mystery and excitement, incremental improvements and so slow progress is what will drive you.
As for all the guys out there really struggling. The 25 year old virgins. The ‘incels.’ The ones who are in that heart of darkness they know I can relate to. I don’t know if my reflections now will help you in anyway.
Maybe they will inspire you. Maybe they will put you right the fuck off.
All I really want is to tell you the truth from my perspective. No sugar coating.
The journey of a guy who wasn’t sure this was going to work.
But who desired it so fucking much and decided to go all out.
And to know what even a classic ‘worst case scenario’ with a poor set of genetic cards is capable of if he really tries…
For the last 1.5 years I have been casually seeing a girl from tinder – the 30th girl I have managed to convince to sleep with me.
She is the archetype of the type of gal I desire. Tall, brunette, long hair and very feminine. And Eastern European of course. Totally my type.
And best of all, thus far, no drama.
She is leagues ahead of my 1st girl in almost every way. 30th time lucky you could say! She is almost the archetype of everything I wanted when I was day dreaming in class at school. I can say she brings stability to my life. Less of those extreme spikes. A bit like a low-carb diet. She made me realise what happiness truly is. Something or someone you worked biblically hard to get for a start.
I am incredibly grateful for having her in my life and know she is a result of all the hard work I put in to this epic project. The ultimate lump sum return on my investment. Touch wood things will continue in a positive way.
Having regular sex when I wasn’t working at sea helped me majorly when it came to dealing with the endless volley of rejection and failure I have faced lately.
I however, became very aware of how vulnerable I am becoming. I recently changed my mind about making her my girlfriend.
Because I know in my heart if I were to become ‘monogamous’ with her I would be doing so from a position of weakness, not strength. This would inevitably leave me in a dangerous situation I am sure I do not need to detail.
I want to become an Alpha Male 2.0 as per Blackdragon’s description in ‘The Unchained Man.’
Similar to the 4 levels of financial security, there is also the 4 levels of sexual security. I paraphrase from the book using my own interpretation:
- Level 1: You are a virgin or an ‘incel’ incapable of getting laid unless you pay a hooker. An increasing percentage of men with every passing year. Me, up to the age of 25.
- Level 2: You are a beta male in a repeating loop of monogamous, female dominated relationships. 90% of men in relationships. Me for 1.5 years.
- Level 3: You are capable of getting laid more or less at will but still subscribe to the idea of monogamy and end up cheating because it is not compatible with your nature. The ‘alpha 1.0’ as Blackdragon would call it. It might also be the player who yoyos between serious relationships and notch sprees depending when he gets bored of either.
- Level 4: You get laid whenever you want and are able to cultivate open relationships or even marriages whilst being able to have one-night stands and fuck buddies on the side with the consent (and option on her part) of your partner to do so at will
As with the financial side of life, I find myself currently somewhere between Level 2 and 3. I am not quite at the point where I can consistently get laid at will with a woman of at least slightly above quality. I am also currently dependent on one woman for my sexual needs even if we aren’t in a toxic, monogamous relation-‘shit.’
Needless to say, Level 4 is the goal.
And it is for that reason the time may fast be approaching when I may lose this girl.
I must be strong and brace myself for whatever happens.
One of the many things I have learned about women as Blackdragon points out, is that they are ‘dynamic.’ They don’t even want to be happy long term. They can’t help it.
It has always been common sense to me.
Women decide everything. They are the choosers – the selectors.
Whether she accepts your approach. Gives you her number. Doesn’t flake on you. Dates you. Gets into a casual relationship. Or a serious one. Or marriage.
And when it ends at any one of those stages. The statistics would agree with me as well as common sense.
Any relationship you have, even with a great girl is temporary and should be cherished as such.
Long term happiness is the most important goal. Abundance. Freedom from fears of a lack of pussy and female companionship.
After all, I could only endure ‘Level 1’ for so long. Only all of my teenage years and early 20! I could only endure being a beta male spineless loser ‘Level 2’ for a year and a half.
How much longer can I endure not being able to lay girls consistently without having to continue making the hunt a full-time job?
I am sure I will find a way.
As previously discussed in Part 4, it will probably come down to discovering my ‘mission’ in life.
By focusing on that, feeling far more of a man and knowing I have genuine value will probably fix my unsatisfactory sex life far more than flogging a dead horse.
The life of an ‘Alpha Male 2.0.’
Still working on final part 7, hopefully later today
To be honest, I can't believe I read all of that. Not hating but I'm saying that I think very few people will end up reading what you wrote because of time limitations
- Whether you care or not that is
OK here are some comments:
1) You wrote that you're having a year-long dry spell. I had this in 2014 - I lost my v-card in 2013 and didn't get laid for an entire year after that. There were multiple situations where I was in bed with a girl but either a) I had whiskey dick from drinking or b) I was nervous/had sexual anxiety. That was a dark time.
In addition to that, I was very down about my perceived lack of career prospects - I had just graduated from university and since I had been preoccupied with "getting laid", had no real legitimate job prospects. I was living in NYC with roommates and had a breakdown when I realized that I couldn't "do my job" (a bullshit sales job) and moved back in with my mom as well as subsequently ruined relationships with my roommates and people I had met in NYC when they saw how weird and unstable I was (at the time, I gave off a cool/social vibe but that all came crashing down when I had one of many mental/emotional breakdowns - this has happened multiple times even up until recently)
2) You sound melancholy and definitely think too much as evidenced by your wall of text. I am the same way but try to avoid these behaviors as much as possible because I know that they are counterproductive. The more you think that you have problems and read about how to solve problems, the more that you'll actually have problems. Life can be a very mental game.
Self-help kind of stuff is the biggest mental masturbation rabbit hole. At this point, you already know all the answers. You just need to keep pushing through.
HOWEVER, I highly recommend reading the book "Think and Grow Rich" - it doesn't actually tell you how to get rich but talks a lot about the mindset of actually successful people in the past (e.g. Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Carnegie, etc.) vs. some bullshit Manosphere blogger on the Internet whose main success in life is being a sex tourist in some 3rd world country and talking about "how to get laid" and "how to build an online business" when they are usually banging average girls at best in poor countries (easy if you're white/1st world) and can't afford to live in the USA, UK, etc. and always 2 steps from being broke.
The mindset stuff talked about in the above book can be applied to any goal in life, financial or otherwise. I saw somewhere "Think and Grow Rich in a Minute" is a faster read (the original is like 400+ pages) but I wasn't able to find an online copy of it. After this, I recommend not reading, watching, listening, etc. any sort of self-help, pick-up, Manosphere, etc. content (I stopped doing this ~2015 - at least as it relates to girl stuff - and started getting laid a lot). Of course, there was more to it than that but like I said, you know all the answers.
3) Also, have a support network e.g. someone or some people working on the same goal. Mentor(s) is/are good, too. Knowing in real life > knowing over the Internet. Especially since it sounds like you are traveling off to foreign countries where I'm guessing you don't know a lot of people - actually know, not just meet off the Internet know.
4) This leads me to my next point. I think you alluded to this but moving to some country for pussy usually comes with its own set of problems. I have done this and can speak from experience. Such problems may include feeling more isolated than ever (especially if you move around and don't stay in one place) and always feeling like there is a divide because people mostly see you as a money bag or born under favorable circumstances (and resent you for it) - mostly in the poorer countries.
I'm guessing you're from the UK based on your name but in terms of just banging randoms, I think Western countries can be good for that because after all, that's where slut culture, etc. comes from. There is no perfect utopia in the world. Everything has its ups and downs. You need to decide which has the most positives for you compared to negatives
5) If you are limited by your looks (personally I don't think it's hard to become better than 8/10 or 9/10 guys but to be fair I'm not ugly), work on other things like money and status. As cruel as it is, women also are sizing you up (we mainly look at physical attributes) but money, status, social skills, closing (as in going for sex) can make up for other inadequacies, perceived or real.
Anyway, to anyone reading this, I want to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I still have goals and issues that I'm working on personally (life is always a work in progress IMO) but am much better off.
Keep going and I guarantee that good karma will come your way.
Former 21 year old virgin
2013: 1 lay
2014: 0 lays
2015: 7 lays
2016: 38 lays
PART 7: Advice from the 30 year old bastard for the 25 year old bastard (for what it’s worth)
I don’t consider myself someone worthy of giving solid dating advice given my track record. I can only speak from my experience.
I view the following titbits of advice I would probably give my 25 year old self which might have made his life a little bit easier.
Circumstances probably wouldn’t have allowed such advice anyway because it was only with pure hard experience that I would learn the importance of these tips.
But perhaps some very inexperienced guys or guys who have been spinning their wheels for too long might garner some use from my rantings.
In no particular order (I am writing as they occur in my mind):
- Q: How many approaches a day, how many a week etc?
When cold approaching, always finish on a high note. I wouldn’t chase a set number of approaches. If you want to chase a number, aim for one number or instant date, then call it a day. End every single session with a successful number or even date. This will cultivate a success mentality and you will be far less likely to skip approaching the next day. This I have found is golden and it would have been far better if I had done this from the beginning.
Less is more. Don’t get me wrong. Especially in the beginning, do 100s of approaches. 1200 in the first year ideally which if you shoot for a number every day will be inevitable.
But don’t do what I did and try and compress huge numbers of approaches into short time periods.
I had little choice due to my working at sea lifestyle which meant I could be away for several weeks. So, I had to do lots of approaches to get lots of dates to make the limited time I perceived I had count. I truly believe improvements only take place in the long term, very slowly over time. A bit like muscle development or skills. You don’t want huge, massive breaks which kill momentum.
- Q. What kind of approaches? Direct/indirect? What model?
A: Don’t mess with any style apart from GLL style (Basic guy game or Nervous guy game exactly as per the articles/videos). At least for the first 1000 approaches. The whole point of basic guy game is to SCREEN!!!!! Find the girls who already decided they want to fuck you. I wish I had stuck to this rule rather than dabble in all this ‘day game model’ confusion. I believe there is a place for advanced models but only once you’ve learned to find that % of DTF ‘yes girls’ who want your cock. I failed badly on this front when it came to approaching because out of the 1600 girls I approached, surely a good 16 (1%) of those should have been statistically DTF. I can say only 1 or 2 of those girls were DTF.
Having said that, I have been approaching directly giving some statement of interest in 90%+ of all my approaches. For the first time since 2015 (before the GEP) I am now starting to consider indirect approaching (ensuring I do make sure she knows exactly what I want using physical screening primarily). This is because more and more I think complimenting girls off the bat without them earning it come across as spammy and boosts the girl’s already inflated ego. Combined with a hyper low success rate I start to internalise the idea I am a ‘needy spam approacher’ which has a long term negative effect on my self-perceived value.
One thing is for sure though, keep a solid record of what proportion of your approaches are direct whether that be one of the GLL styles or indirect so there is hard evidence of what works better.
- Q: When should I start approaching?
A: Don’t bother with cold approach until you have ‘earned your stripes’ with online dating. Because it appeals to the most girls’ more superficial side it forces you to develop the most important market of success in this game. Looks. Keep experimenting and improving your looks comprehensively for the first year or two whilst hitting all online platforms hard. You will know you look good enough once you get the forum’s approval. If you choose you can start the AA program as a prelude to proper approaching. I believe if you can get laid from tinder there is NO reason you shouldn’t also get laid from approaching.
- Q: Is cold approach a must or can I rely on ‘warm approach?’
A: I am reasonably sure for the vast majority of all my approaches I got no eye contact or ‘warm approach signals.’ This may indeed have contributed to my terrible results.
If you want an easy short-cut for succeeding at cold approach then go to a country where you can ‘warm approach.’
In other words, girls give you eye contact and even smiles as opposed to making a concentrated effort to avoid eye contact and not notice you as is the default case. This can make all the difference between needing to talk to 30 girls versus 300. I am not exaggerating in the slightest.
Of course, for the first few hundred approaches you absolutely SHOULD approach girls YOU want to talk to. For a start how else do you kill approach anxiety?
The greatest problem with cold approach is that the only woman who give you warm signals are 1-2 points below your attractiveness level. If like me, you only get looks from 4-5s, then your look is considered no more than a ‘6.’ This means cold approaching any girls 6+ will realistically result in a MUCH higher failure rate. Even the 6s and 7s who are DTF won’t receive you well because you don’t reach their looks threshold. As most of the girls I approached in my journey were at least a 6+ this may be a huge reason for my huge failure rate because even the easy yes girls were not available.
If you want a good idea of what countries would be good prospects to travel to for girls aside from physically going there and walking down the street, get tinder plus or gold and set your location somewhere and get swiping.
- Q. Should I do the AA program?
A: I got up to week 3 or 4, I don’t actually remember. My personal opinion is that although I agree entirely with the principle of the program (outcome independent social freedom), doing certain drills or days in particular locations is risky and not in a good way. This is especially so in countries where anti-male ‘harassment’ laws occur such as in mine. All it would take is 1 woman out of x100 to complain to the police and life could become a living hell. Having said that if you want to do it and complete it, respect to you! I think it would be nothing but completely beneficial. As well as being able to approach whenever you want, the transition to ‘proper’ approaching would be very smooth and natural and there wouldn’t be so much awkwardness and learning curve for the approach itself.
In retrospect I didn’t have much AA to begin with around the start of the GEP. This is due to 7 years of regular night club approaching, despite the alcohol advantage. Moreover, I approached regularly during my European trips in 2014/2015 and killed a lot of AA.
- Q: I can’t get results from online dating. What steps should I take?
A: Can’t really help here because I am now struggling like crazy with this. Do whatever you can and spend however much time you can getting DSLR, professional photographs taken for online dating. Once you have mastered your looks and style of course (IE you have the GLL forum’s seal of approval). Do a LOT of research before investing in an expensive camera though.
Use photo-feeler to get an idea of how good your photos are but realise it doesn’t necessarily correlate to success on websites like tinder. The only way to know if they are good enough is if you are getting matches.
- Q: I am struggling MAJORLY with style and fashion. What to do?
A: Yes, this can be a major problem, one I struggle with this to this day.
The first thing I did when joining GLL was spend 2-3 months getting this style problem sorted. I was utterly CLUELESS and in fact I still feel clueless to this day. This is in spite of extensive research, ebook reading and posting on my very own GLL style thread.
The biggest problem you will encounter is that even the best GLL veterans will give you different opinions. Some will love what you model, others will think it is lame as fuck. Expect to spend as I did several dozens of hours in H&M and Zara changing rooms taking photos of you wearing various outfits and reporting back.
What you can try is hiring a style consultant. I did this right at the start of the GEP wanting to get a solid start. The mistake I made (despite the woman’s formidable reputation!) was choosing someone who didn’t fully understand what I was trying to be. An EDGY, SEXY and ATTRACTIVE man. Not some beta-male, provider gentleman type. The direct result of this style, as pretty as it looked was a plethora of sexless dates despite a higher ‘number close’ ratio compared to when I dressed edgier. Do your homework first thoroughly before splashing the cash!
Another very important thing you must do which I stupidly didn’t do well enough, is keep a log of what you wear during your approaches. For example, your 3rd block of 100 approaches (201-300), wear the new outfit you have worn every time so you can properly ascertain your results with no other biases introduced (other variables are crucial too such as bodyfat % etc.). GLL is bang on when he says even if you have bad looks, you can still look good.
- Q: Should I make a log on GLL?
A: Absolutely 100% make a full detailed approach and dating log. This will motivate you immensely. And take notice from the generous local GLLs who leave feedback and advice. I think I may even have not achieved my goals if it weren’t for me making a log (deleted now). Plan out a sensible structure you will post in beforehand to make it more reader friendly.
When people post in your log only take advice from experienced, trusted members like BIB, DC07, NoStringsAttached etc. If someone with 3 posts and no success log of their own tries to give you advice consider them trolls. The ideal person to take advice from is someone who is very similar to you physically and personality wise.
You will occasionally get trolls, don’t feed them. The admins on this forum are extremely switched on and will ban them very fast.
It Is your call if you want to count your approaches and log data in a spreadsheet or other tracker. Many advise against it and that is cool but I don’t see any other way to gather empirical evidence of what is working and what is not. Moreover, try and keep track of when you make a change (such as a different hair-style). Not just physical such as style but also types of approach. I should have done more of this.
If you still have approach anxiety and even after the AA program, don’t feel entirely comfortable approaching I wouldn’t bother logging details about the first 100 or so approaches.
I would consider audio recording (or even video recording if you have the balls) for example one session a week. Spend time listening to or watching the approach and see if you can learn anything. Perhaps make a check list of what seems to be working for you and what is not. I was very lazy about this and only this year started making an effort with this. If someone asks to see me approach I can show them 1.5 hours of infield footage for them to critique which can be helpful.
You can also do this for dates. Dates can be a MAJOR sticking point. Almost all my interactions with women never make it past the dating stage. If you can’t audit the dates somehow then what hope do you have of improving it?
- Q: I have a receding hairline and I am scared of going bald. What to do?
A: If you are balding, for fuck’s sake get on that shit with the drugs. If like in my case it was too late then either get a hair replacement system (wig). I never tried this as it creeped me out in a silence of the lambs kind of way but don’t knock it! Or shave it off and get a ‘scalp micropigmentation’ head tattoo (pm me for more details). Shit or get off the pot, do NOT make do with a receding hairline!!!!!!
- Q: I am pale as fuck but can’t tan! What to do?
If you are pale like me, get tanned. When given feedback about my looks, this was always the one EVERYONE told me to fix somehow. Ghosts don’t get laid apparently.
For safety reasons my hamster experimented with Melanotan-2 (ironic I know) in order to avoid burning and skin damage from the sun-beds. Acting also like cialis for libido, this is by far my favourite drug in the world. Far more economical than spray tanning sessions too. I tried that for a year and it was very inconvenient and everyone saw the stripe on my nose.
- Q: I am short, or bald or both or skinny as fuck. Do I need to get jacked and do roids?
A: If you don’t care about hair-loss or have committed to going bald, get jacked. Single digit body-fat is crucial but you want to be as muscular as you can and not look like a pale cancer patient.
If you want to do SARMs or steroids that is your choice and certainly something I cannot recommend due to obvious legal reasons.
What I can say is my hamster experimentation was VERY flawed as I very stupidly didn’t do a pre-cycle FULL blood baseline draw. This meant although I took some parameters I THOUGHT would be enough (testosterone, estradiol etc.) I did not get ALL of them!
As a result, after extensive experimentation over the past 2 years, I am cursed with chronically low sex drive which I cannot seem to solve and I am no longer able to use the bathmate. My SHBG (sex-hormone binding globulin also known as the testosterone ‘tax-collector’) is incredibly high and because I never got it measured in that initial blood panel, I will never know what has caused all this mayhem.
If I could go back in time, I would avoid ALL performance enhancing drugs entirely until a) I have a FULL understanding of them all and ensure I get EVERYTHING logged in blood panels b) use steroids instead of SARMs which despite being far stronger obviously have way more research behind them and are safer because of this alone and c) wait until I am no longer working at sea.
When you work abroad like me, constantly going through customs at airports and then having your bags searched constantly when boarding vessels/rigs, using needle administered steroids is not possible.
Regardless of if your hamster wants to experiment with steroids OR SARMs I think using a solid testosterone base is a must (though everyone’s body is different I know). When I finally manage to get some businesses up and running allowing me to retire this lifestyle, this is certainly the route I would take.
Because I actually really believe this can be one of the greatest game changers. As you can see from my dedicated log a solid YK-11 + RAD-140 cycle can transform you beyond recognition. I would inject testosterone as a base in future however. Others with far greater knowledge will disagree and that is cool.
Check out Jay Campbell’s TRT ebooks – tells you everything you need to know about every blood parameter and why each is important.
- Q: I am short. Is there any point in even trying?
A: No matter what height you are wear 2.5 inch+ insoles in your shoes. Make 100% sure they fit from the start so you don’t end up with shin splints or ankle issues down the road (no pun intended). Leg lengthening surgery is in no way whatsoever an option so forget about that.
If you are my kind of height (5’7-8ish) don’t fret. You will have to approach a LOT more girls than a taller man who is otherwise your equal to get the same results. This is because a huge % of girls have iron-clad rules about dating men below a certain height or shorter than them. Its fucking unfair but its life. Doubly so if you have a below-average face like me. I think it is reasonable to assume if I was 6’1 I would have banged 2-3 times as many girls than I have given my efforts.
What you don’t need to worry about is not getting any pussy at all. The numbers game WILL throw you a bone as long as you keep going. Even if you are 5’3 it just has to happen eventually. I have also banged girls taller than me. My current girl (from Central Europe) is taller than me standing bare feet, so it is possible. It also might vary by culture. The further East in Europe you go, the less important height might be (though it still counts majorly).
Also, if you are into Asian girls, get on that plane to SEA as soon as possible. That is probably the biggest trump card you have. Fuck I am even doing it, flying to Vietnam in October.
- Q: Related to that, should I travel to have a sex life? Won't I be a sex tourist?
A: If it is possible for you under the circumstances of your work life, try traveling to and living in different cities, states and countries. This was the game changer for me that helped when all else failed.
Having said that, what you probably really want is to be able to get laid where you spend the majority of your time. Of course, getting laid in the Philippines is going to be much easier than in San Francisco. But where are you actually going to be living most of the year?
No matter where you are Improve yourself as much as you can first. I did it in a city I consider a pussy wasteland as have many others. If you can max out your looks/style and kill approach anxiety wherever you are then you have the tools you need to dramatically increase the chances you are successful wherever you decide to go.
Yes of course you will be a sex tourist but who the fuck cares? A consensual sexual act between 2 people is a just that, no matter where they happen to be geographically located.
Look life is short. I don't see any reason why you should torture yourself for years spinning your wheels in a location that sucks for you. Especially given how things will only go downhill in foreign countries too. Earn your stripes, save money then buy that plane ticket.
- Q: GLL says lower your standards to get laid. How low should I go?
If you are below average or average (5 or below), accept the fact the only girls you will be able to get are 3s and 4s.
If like me this is unacceptable, prioritise improving your looks and style no matter how long it takes. If you are fat, get that sorted yesterday. Aim to get to single digits bodyfat and use the forum to optimise your style. Girls may have fucked a guy uglier than you but this is assuming you are at least average looking, not repulsive.
I personally fucked 3 girls I consider below a 5 and whilst I didn’t regret it entirely (my penis still felt pleasure and I came hard) I did not feel good with myself at all and have vowed not to do that shit again.
- Q: I have a neurotic, introverted and sensitive disposition/personality type. Any tips for dealing with this?
A: I have a lot to say about this, being in the top 5% of the population for introversion and neuroticism.
It’s a curse. It may be a huge reason for why I fucked up so many dates. If there was piece of ‘game’ advice I would completely agree with that has major impact, its emotional control. Not the same as ‘not doing what you want’ but having emotional maturity not to lose it on a good day and have a full nervous meltdown on a bad day when you get multiple failures in a row.
There are a few tricks which can make dealing with it a little easier. Together they may add up, combine and make a huge difference.
1) Do whatever you can to keep your blood sugar stable by following a ketogenic style diet. Cyclical carb loading if you are bulking or an athlete. Especially important if you are naturally emotional and moody like me.
2) Try and align your lifestyle as best you can for success. Avoid or limit alcohol, blood-sugar spiking carbohydrates, click-bait inflammatory shit on the internet such as left-wing media newspapers, ‘manosphere’ and ‘MRA’ sites, clickbait and perhaps most importantly, working a job that you enjoy will help considerably.
3) If kratom is legal and available, ‘safely’ abuse it as much as your heart desires. This is God’s plant and I cherish that brief period in 2014 where I lived the kratom lifestyle. It made dealing with the incredibly tough local girls notably more bearable. Sadly, it is illegal in a lot of the countries I frequent.
4) When approaching, I actually think it is better to do it alone. Hanging with other ‘cold approachers’ or ‘day gamers’ can be excellent for keeping your mood stable. However, you don’t want to be around a braggard who keeps bombarding you with texts about his hot successes with that ’18 year old Instagram model.’ It will get incredibly annoying, especially if you are getting no results. Approaching alone will make you tougher and increase the feeling that you are competing with yourself instead of judging yourself by the standards of others which can fuck with your head if you are ‘underperforming.’
5) If you are a virgin, then upon losing your virginity, I highly recommend getting a girlfriend. It will come FAR more naturally, the less experienced and societally programmed you are. After a year or two you will have a far better idea of what your sexual and romantic goals are. Even if you don’t want to embark on your very own ‘golden eagle project’ you will at least have clear standards.
6) Embrace rejection. Find a way to endure it. It sucks balls I know but even if like me you go through phases of getting knocked back by every single girl on a date when you go for a kiss, keep doing it anyway. Rejection is what makes you stronger and more masculine and as long as you are getting rejected you are inching closer to success. Being a pussy and not even trying will always ensure you lose.
7) If you feel you are lacking confidence in general outside of approach anxiety consider taking up martial arts. Brazilian jiu-jitsu and wrestling are EXTREMELY humbling and strenuous. Just like rejection you will get your ass handed to you constantly. I literally get rag-dolled every session. And you will feel like a boss whenever you leave the matt. If like me you feel like a meek bitch in the workplace and are sorely lacking masculinity, something like this can help to set against such feelings and help you feel like more of a man.
8 ) Within the limits of possibility, brutally audit every person in your life no matter if it is friends, family or work. Remove anyone who is bringing you down in any way. If you are working a job you can’t leave then be extra selective about company outside of work. Spend time only with people who make you feel good and encourage you. At least a few of those people should get laid a lot.
9) Nightclubs and bars: If you hate going to them fucking stop going to them. 95% of all my misogynistic feelings and bitterness toward women evaporated once I stopped going to nightclubs.
- Q: Should I supplement with other ‘game’ resources besides GLL?
A: Whilst working with the GLL community, avoid ALL other ‘game advice’ or websites. Focus on ONE methodology at a time. If you want to try out Krauser’s elaborate, complicated day game models, do it once you have completed your journey with GLL.
If you must supplement with other ‘game resources’ the only one I would check out is Blackdragon who specialises in ‘relationship’ skills. His blog and books are absolutely fantastic imo.
Although I would steer clear of all ‘game’ websites, using certain communities such as the Roosh forum for meeting cool guys especially when traveling is something I would totally recommend. Yes I know other forums are hated by GLL and that is cool, but as GLL says: do what you want.
- Q: Should I pay a ‘guru’ for ‘infield’ training for $10,000?
A: You will may eventually come across ‘gurus’ with almost zero feedback or reviews offering to give you ‘infield training’ for extortionate prices (often several 1000 dollars).
Don’t even think about it.
There is no easy fix for this and no ‘weekend’ boot-camps. While there are highly skilled ‘coaches’ they are only for the rich and I would never even consider paying anyone for training unless you have a good year of full-on efforts under your belt and cannot identify (even with the GLL forum’s help) what your weak points are.
I personally paid 2 different coaches for infield approaching and dating. Each for far less than $500. Because of the short duration of the sessions I cannot really say they helped much. Far better would be to have multiple sessions over a long time period. If that were affordable…
You can try and meet up with some cats from the forum who get laid to have a look at you approaching or dating. If logistics allow, don’t be afraid to reach out to people. I have made some very good friends on this forum from doing this.
- Q: If there was one thing you could have done differently what would it be?
I can say for sure I don’t know. The biggest challenge was simply balancing the project with my crazy job which while allowing me to travel made incremental progress very hard. However, because I didn’t work for almost a year in 2016, it is no surprise that this is when my boom of successes occurred.
The ideal situation for anyone prioritising their sex life would be having a huge sum of money in the bank to last you 2-3 years. Failing that, save up as much as you can and do a PART-TIME job – like 20 hours a week. I truly believe such a lifestyle would work FAR better than trying to work a full-time job or a ‘rotation’ based job like mine when it comes to making consistent progress.
That is all I can think of for now but feel free to mention anything else that comes to mind and I will try to help using my rather limited experience and successes.
If people are interested in me making an ebook out of my 2016-2017 Golden Eagle log detailing all my experiences positive and negative please let me know. I will definitely do that if there is enough interest.
Also, if people would like a full statistical breakdown of all my data during the project (approaches, dates, lays and locations) let me know.
Thank you my brother for your response. And I appreciate you reading the entire series of posts. Yeah if people read it great. If not then whatever. I just had this tremendous, pent-up need to express myself and unleash everything on my mind in as comprehensible a manner as I could.
Yeah, I am melancholic and definitely overthink things. When it comes to trying to work out what is causing major struggles and problems in life I see no other way than to overthink. But maybe I am full of shit. I think you are a little harsh in your appraisal of (presumably) Caleb Jones. What you describe is not actually what he teaches. However, I have read all 3 of those authors as well as that Think and Grow Rich book, a couple in audiobook format actually. Great books. I can’t see anything I fundamentally disagree with in your other points. Thank you for your thoughts!
I plan to keep going no matter what. I wish you all the best in your journey too, I love your positive attitude and the fact you’ve conquered a lot of your past challenges.
As a fellow guy who (used to) worry he was genetically inferior, let me tell you this:
Genetically, you are a fucking catch because you’re incredibly resilient. What you lack in physical advantages you more than make up for with intelligence and sheer force of will. Both those traits are more important for survival anyway, from an evolutionary perspective.
If you ever have kids, chances are good they will also be tough motherfuckers.
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
I have a pretty high "lay count", a pretty good online business setup, etc.
But I still consider myself to be pretty weird/neurotic (ask anyone in GLL Telegram).
The thing is though, I never gave up. I had a lot of depressive periods but just kept going
Persistence is talked about in Think and Grow Rich in more detail - one example that comes to mind is this guy that dedicated his life to working for Thomas Edison and basically became his right-hand man - you can imagine how much money he made considering Edison & Co invented the light bulb, etc.
- the story of how the guy got to that position is insane.
Former 21 year old virgin
2013: 1 lay
2014: 0 lays
2015: 7 lays
2016: 38 lays
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.