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I recently posted a thread (right below this one actually lol) to where I told guys how to have an amazing life overall after graduating college. The thing is, I realized all this time that having sex with cute girls or even hot ones is not enough for me. Like a lot of guys on here and even Good Looking Loser himself, I felt somewhat left out during my college years and that left a sort of missing gap in my life that I am trying to fill.
It's like I want sex with hot girls, but that isn't enough. I have to make a ton of friends, get invited to exclusive parties that other people won't get invited to, and in a way just feel like how the 20% chris talked about on his college thread felt like. It's like I find myself wanting to get laid, make friends with other cool guys who also get laid, going to exclusive events where I am happy to be at that event because most people wouldn't be called to it, and I guess I want the overall package.
Am I the only one who wants more than just the girls and sex?
Yeah, me. I want build social skill get friends and make a social circle. The reason that I 'm still alone is that I have a feeling of inferiority caused mostly by approach anxiety, lack of experience with girls and isolation . Thus this is the major reason that I had decided to do the program. ( sorry, I'm not a native speaker)
It's super easy to make guy friends and make a lot of social circles. Thing is, these people while they are your friends at the time end up dissolving out of your life eventually at some point. I have maybe like 5 friends who I would through thick and thin know will be close to me for years regardless if we weren't talking for a few weeks (2 are dead now).
As you progress you realize that 99% of the friends you make are just temporary and are your friends based on time and place or the situation you are in. No matter how close you seem with them, eventually you drift apart and you end up never talking again.
My 0.02. Stay close with friends who are actually your friends (watch Chris' recent video on how to realize who your real friends are). If you want to experience that stuff just for experience, you can build social circles easily.
Meet new people and party every once in a while, yes, but I don't want that to be a big part of my life. It's cool to meet people but like dc7 said, most people will fade out of your life. Very few people will actually be there when you're in the shit. My best friends from middle and high school are still my best friends almost 15 years later because they've been there during those times. The cool alpha douche may be cool to party with but he won't be there when I'm at rock bottom.
At this point, I kinda realize that it is temporary but even then it beats being the lonely PUA or just a loner in general. The issue is that I have grown far apart from a lot of my friends growing up, they drifted apart and lead mediocre lives. Some of them ended up getting married in their early 20s and are now spending time with families. Truth is that looking back at it, though we had some fun times, I do not really want that much to do with my friends from the past.
I don't really care if all of it is temporary in regards to social life, IMO a party is a party and cool friends are cool friends no matter how long they last for. So what if they don't want to hear your sob stories, it is a hell of a fun time to go out to the bars with some hot girls and a couple of alpha males knowing that you belong to that group. I also think people overrate most friendships from high school and college, at least the high status ones with the popular kids. Most of them ditched each other when things turned bad for one person because they were looking out for their own status.
All these years I got by being alone that now, I want company in regards to acquaintances, not blood brother type friends but cool guys I can chill with, party with, and chase girls with when out.
I guess not everyone on here has that mindset but mines has always been one of big social circles and great parties.
I feel like you just have FOMO and will realise what you're chasing is actually quite shallow. I can't claim to have had an amazing college life but I had my brief moments of experiencing things like that. Having sex in every campus location you can image, desksm study lounges, closets, female changing rooms etc.
going out and pulling a hot chick from a club, being the alpha male, guys being like "holy shit bro you need to teach me, how'd you do that, legend" etc etc
I only did these things once though, because I only needed to do it once to realise it's not that fun / it's just an ego boost as well as a source of shallow validation. I'd rather a friend who's extremely passionate about self-improvement than drugs. I'd rather a friend who wants to go hard at the gym then a friend who's a club promoter.
I guess it's just personal preference. If living that life will actually make you happy then great, but if you have this weird fantasy of a player life style you saw in a movie you will probably get bored of it quickly. I mean if you enjoy doing a lot of cocaine you will probably enjoy that lifestyle.
goals: don't fucking know not gonna commit to anything until I actually properly, live or die commit to it.
6'4", 30 yo, 7 lays (holy shit that's low)
Achieved so far:
- Overcame crippling, diagnosed social & general anxiety.
- Improved my looks (3/10 to 9/10 according to photofeeler).
- 40+ matches a week on bumble/tinder/hinge
Sometimes I think it all literally comes down to what makes you happy. Ask yourself straight up, what do you want and what makes you happy, then do it.
I used to crank out dates and get a bunch of notches on my belt because I wanted validation, and I felt like a stud. That made me happy at the time, not so much anymore. If it ever does again, I will do that again, but I'm trying to simply just do what I want from now on.
There is no sense wasting a second of your life doing things you don't want to do.
If you want to go to parties and make more friends because it makes you happy then do that. If something else makes you happy, do that instead.
I have the same thoughts as you Justcountingstars.
The funny thing is though, that I start hanging out with a group of people and find myself wishing that I was alone instead.
Maybe you should make it a priority of yours to party with people and see where that takes you.
I plan on having a super active social life (meaning going to parties and shit with cool people I know rather than just approaching) some time in the future, but right now my goals relating to "game", if you will, and making myself rich are more important.
I find social circles and parties and shit are a huge drain of time and emotional energy.
Often times they take away from my goals so I end up just cutting them out immediately.
The issue is, even if you have more money, it can be a problem in your 30s. A lot of people around your age will be married with kids and younger people will find it weird that a 30 year old is parting with them. Even GLL talked about how your 20s are a time to do some things you will regret in your 30s.
So far, I've been working a full time job and bartending on weekends, the shifts can be tough to come by and sometimes I have to compensate by working the whole day on a weekday but it is worth it. I have made some decent friends and in a way, I am compensating at this stage of my life because I missed out on the college experience.
In a year or so, I plan on starting an MBA (it is going to be too late in my 30s for a lot of the good programs), and after that I will likely invest all of that time into a full time corporate career with long hours. No way I will be able to keep up my current lifestyle and honestly, I don't know if you can do this shit at 30.
The managers of the bars are older guys and we have some 30 somethings who bartend full time but it is not really worth it IMO.
I have been trying to squeeze all of this into my 20s as much as I can because I feel like it is going to be borderline impossible once I am in my 30s.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.