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I mean someone on here can easily say I am a fraud and that I speak from having no credibility at all. The thing is that this community changed my life for good, it helped me turn it around so this is my way of giving back.
After being a member of the GLL community for quite some time, I've noticed that the vast majority of guys on here fall under the late bloomer label. You weren't a part of this "in crowd" back in your school days and you didn't get to experience the whole partying and all of that stuff. I am going to offer up a guide on how to somewhat salvage it for the rest of your life and somewhat get a taste of what you missed out on. Speaking here as someone who managed to accomplish this himself after years of hard work.
But before I begin, I will make a few comments about the guide.
1. If you see yourself as being above the whole drinking and partying thing, great, go tell your pastor and I am sure he will be proud. The last thing I want to deal with is some guy coming in here saying "you know, there's better things you can be doing with your life, it's time to grow up". Get a corporate job, get married, have kids, be a dad, and get that life for yourself because this guide is not for you.
2. Some things in this guide will require some serious sacrifice, I will get to that later, it's all about how bad you want it.
3. You will likely piss some of your friends off for chasing this sort of life, people will call you "immature" and "worry" about you. Some of the people you run into will also be somewhat sketchy so be careful out there.
4. You might even end up passing up some lays, even though you will get laid, because of this sort of life.
5. You won't really make "friends" as much, you will just make acquaintances for the most part. Sorry but true friendships are hard to make in general but you will get people to hang out with and drink with.
Cancel out the noise, it's not too late.
Google social life after college and get ready to be depressed, unless you're smart enough to realize that the material is mostly written by women well past their prime and beta males.
Society will always tell you how college is supposed to be the best time to make friends or how it is impossible to do so after college, they are wrong. You might have to make more of an effort but it will be worth it in the end, more rewarding as well because it didn't just happen randomly. Tons of poison on Buzzfeed and ThoughtCatalog and other garbage sites that manage to make the front pages of Google searches will make you fall under the belief that college is this magical place and it's all downhill after graduation. Grown up shit, no more parties, no more fun, no more sex, and all that depressing stuff.
Now lets begin.
The goal of this guide is to get you a social life, a good number of friends, invites to parties, and occasionally some lays. You would have on the other hand avoided loneliness and had a decent social circle of friends to be around. The reason you're going to pass up some lays is because coupled in with having a job and working on your social life, you're not going to have enough time to spend on daygame and nightgame.
1. Not all cities are created equal.
Just like having the college experience varies between commuter campus, community college, big state school, liberal arts campus, a division 3 school, or an engineering school; the experience you have in your post grad life varies based on the city you're in. Some cities are practically designed for a 20 or 30 something to have an active social life, enjoy things, party, and make a lot of friends while others are not. Picking the right city is vital but you want to have many options in this regard instead of just focusing on one city.
NYC worked out well for me but I am sure other good cities exist. The ones I have been told to avoid are Seattle due to the "Seattle freeze" and Minneapolis due to people there not wanting to hang out with anyone they met after their school days. You might have to put some serious research into this but the good cities I have heard of are: Chicago, Austin, Miami, Charleston, Philly, and New Orleans.
2. Not all neighborhoods are created equal.
Move to the suburbs? Defeats the purpose!
Move to a fun and good neighborhood? It can be amazing.
Unfortunately, rent in my city is expensive as hell and the best areas are taking by filthy rich people. My friends who moved to tier 2 and smaller cities on the other hand picked apartments with perks such as a rooftop pool, end result? They get to go to pool parties at times that are loaded with hot girls. Even back in college if you wanted the "college experience", you had to live in student housing.
Key take away from 1 and 2: Logistics are like half the battle, without decent logistics, you are screwed even if you are a charismatic and fun person to be around.
3. Shared experiences, know the value of that.
In order to truly make acquaintances, you want to have a lot of shared experiences. By this I mean getting involved in some activities that you may like. Just like in college how you needed to join a club or frat, you need to do something like this after college. Whether it is improv/acting classes or something like intramural sports, you need an activity where you are seeing the same people over and over and over again. Only then will you start to make some acquaintances. I did Improv classes before getting a side gig in the service industry, made a few good friends from that.
4. If possible, a cool side gig.
Bartending and working in the service industry on the part time is my go to suggestion, mainly because you are also likely to make friends with people that are open to partying and just the whole debauchery. Now this option will wear you out because if you have a 9 to 5 along with a side gig in the service industry, you will work at least a good 60+ hours a week. All that being said, some of the decent parties I've been to and cool guys I've made as friends were possible because I went down this route. Not gonna lie, it is tiring and I don't think I will be able to go about this for long.
Not for everyone but definitely worth it, most of you working long hours won't be able to pull it off.
Key takeaway from 3 and 4, lifestyle matters. People rarely make friends with the random guy that cold approached them in public, that seems sketchy. On the other hand, people are open to making friends with the guy that works at a bar they go to or the guy who is in their group activity.
5. Be someone!
Only hot girls can get away with being nobodies who drink lattes all day and socialize, you can't. Get your career or whatever job you have handled and be someone. You don't have to be filthy rich and highly famous but you have to be someone. It's the trick of this whole thread, on one hand I want you to focus a ton on your social life but on the other hand, I don't want you to neglect your next paycheck and self-development in its name. Don't be the guy who ALWAYS wants to hang out, that show neediness.
Even in college, people got tired of each other when they hung out 24/7, it is natural. In the real world, the best type of social life is when you are seeing your clique every weekend instead of every day.
6. Cheer the fuck up!
No one wants to hang out with a whiner that constantly longs for the past. Being a pessimistic piece of crap does not make you cool or edgy, it makes you a weird loner. Cheer up, life is beautiful, so much is going on the world, and bring it. Walk around with a smile on your face and appreciate life. No one wants to be around the whiner who keeps talking about how much he misses college, move on and be optimistic about life.
Key takeaway from points 5 and 6
So what you didn't have the college experience and neither do most people. You can either put in the work and do something about it or be that phaggot who writes articles on Thought Catalog about a depressing and lonely life after college. I fucking hate the whiny bitch who writes these fucking articles on Thought Catalog that keep coming up on the first page of google when you type in social life after college.
1. Talking to as many people as you can and spam approaching them doesn't really work, it didn't even work in college. People are not going to invite some random stranger into their lives unless they become familiar with him (shared activities) or unless that stranger brings serious value to them (usually in the form of having something they want). Spam approaching random people who don't know fails on most counts, I know that from personal experience.
Girls might talk to and sleep with a good looking guy but guys don't really have a use for good looking guys unless they're gay.
2. Some of us, like myself, want a large social circle and lots of friends because we value that sense of community and belonging. I probably pass up a ton of lays by having an active social circle because that takes time I can be using to cold approach girls. What it does do is give me the kind of rewarding social life to where I have friends to hang out with, party with, go out to events with, and occasionally met girls with.
I guess it comes with being older, back then I would have been happy with 50+ lays a year but now I want more than just that. The lonely pickup artist lifestyle stopped appealing to me, I've always been more of an extrovert and people person.
Lets face it sleek, MOST of us (if not all) are overcompensating, especially in regards to girls. A lot of guys on here underachieved in their sex lives so they want to fuck a ton of girls in order to make up for it. I underachieved in my sex life as well and I've made up for it a good bit but now I've spent time making up for being a social outcast in those college days.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.