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I'm 28 years old, living in a beatiful little city in north Italy, but las 5 years have been with no friends. I have a lot of problems, specially buttling mood disorder like bipolar disorder is not an easy task
Now i have something going on, i want to get ripped, at least get visible abs by december so i can start some online dating, i'm 6fe tall but skinny fat
I signed in a mixed martial arts gym so i'm be learning kickboxing and jiujitsu amd most impotant....meeting new friends and maybe creating a social circle with people i meet in the gym
So there's a window fro improvement but lonelyness is still there, i see picturects osn facebook of people on the beach, on the pool, mountains, jumping from waterfall, having fun while i'm all alone in my house, all by myself
I see a lot of attractive tourists visiting my city and this, also doesn't help. Loneliness is a real feeling i have inside, like a dark painful feeling
You will probably make excuses (Ones that in your mind make sense, but in reality most likely wont) but in my opinion (I also went a period where i was stuck in my house for long periods due to various reasons) the only thin that helped me get over this completely was just doing things all the time.
I dont know wether i was depressed, But i defiantly wasent enjoying my life being stuck in my room (I also had other stuff going on) but then i went to university and had the option of staying in my room or making friends and going out etc, A few months later was the first time i actually looked back and realised how much i had enjoyed the past few months.
By forcing myself to go out constantly (I rarely ever said no to a social event, even if i didn't nessacarly like the event) i completely forgot about everything else and just had fun.
So, its going to be harder for you probably because your not in university, but you can make friends in the kickboxing place your going, and im sure there are other options for you to make friends.
Even if you dont manage to get friends (Which you should do, if you actually try), Why do you have to be in your room, looking at what others are doing?, go on day trips in your city, i dont know what there is to do in italy / your area but im sure there are things you can do other than sitting in your room.
You have to fix it. No other way. I've tried all the easier ways, trust me. Nothing fixes that deep, dark, horrible feeling that I'm very familiar with as well, except getting around and connecting with people. I would go as far as to state that most of your mood problems are rooted in your loneliness. Start doing the AA program, start talking to random people everywhere. It's the hardest thing but you owe it to yourself to do it.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
I lived in Italy for a few months. imo definately not the easiest place to meet people, because of the culture and social circles.
Do you work or study? you could consider moving to bigger city like Rome or Milan, more stuff to do there, especially in Rome?
Italy has good location and its easy to travel to other countries by train. If you have absolutely nothing to do in summer, take a train and go to croatia or hungary. If you stay in hostels its easy to meet people and also party.
Thats what I did when I lived there.
I have the same problem as you. In holidays and legitimately getting depressed from the immense loneliness.
I do martial arts which means for 2hrs a day I get to interact with people - however do MA will not make you wealthier or help you meet women or even make you look strong necessarily.
No dates online and doing the AA with this loneliness is hard becase you care too much about the interaction - you want to be liked because nobody seemingly does, which makes it difficult to be confrontational or weird.
Currently regret breaking up with gf. Being deoressed makes dieting and gym so much harder as well. If I figure out how to pull myself out of this hole I'll let you know.
goals: don't fucking know not gonna commit to anything until I actually properly, live or die commit to it.
6'4", 30 yo, 7 lays (holy shit that's low)
Achieved so far:
- Overcame crippling, diagnosed social & general anxiety.
- Improved my looks (3/10 to 9/10 according to photofeeler).
- 40+ matches a week on bumble/tinder/hinge
You could be ripped by the end of summer easily if you follow a solid diet and training program. How to deal with loneliness? Don't be lonley! Simple as that. Go meet people. Put yourself out there. Approach women, chat up dudes in the gym when you're killing your workouts, build a social circle. Get off your ass and stop posting here and start doing some shit.
you should also deactivate some social media. when i was feeling like that, i deactivated everything to stop getting jealous of people seemingly enjoying life and got my ass out there talking to people instead of looking on my phone
A good practice is window shopping and going to a variety of shops to purchase your daily food needs. I've found by going to four different supermarkets and being friendly with the register staff and asking questions of staff inside the store that I feel much less disconnected with others and I could imagine that being a much easier step for someone than making friends straight off the bat (sometimes baby steps are all we can do).
I also think, as I said, window shopping is excellent. I don't always want to spend money, but I do like to work on my style and appearance. This kills two birds with one stone. I'm always out and always doing something.
Aside for that, you have to manage your downtime. Having little missions (find this place, do this, get this) helps a lot to keep you busy and fills the times when you would otherwise be unhappy.
For me, a time filler is GLL. I visit and write something on here daily (often something positive and supportive if I can) and that helps to keep me connected. I'm not saying spend all your time on GLL, but I spend about 1 hour a day between other things messing around on here and it helps to keep me busy while I wait for my body to correct itself (I'm in withdrawals still).
I hope these ideas can help you reduce your loneliness. You've been taking some strong steps lately and I'm impressed with the minor change in demeanor you are showing. Good work!
dc7 wrote: You could be ripped by the end of summer easily if you follow a solid diet and training program. How to deal with loneliness? Don't be lonley! Simple as that. Go meet people. Put yourself out there. Approach women, chat up dudes in the gym when you're killing your workouts, build a social circle. Get off your ass and stop posting here and start doing some shit.
Well, i'll train hard and i hope i'll be moderately ripped by the beginning of next summer, not the end, so i can go to the beach and to the the pool and meet news girls! I'm also doing other things, i'm not approaching woman cause i'm skinny fat and my chances are almost zero but trying to build a social circle
I'm also an overthinker so nothing is simple for me, it's all complicated, i find myself thinking about the cute girls in the beach i'm not meeting and about the beautifull things in life i'm not doing
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