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I agree that doctors putting you on SSRI's or similar drugs wouldn't help. What I meant was seeing a talk therapist who will talk to you until you find out what's at the core of you... it seems like you are not really sure about a lot of things that happen inside you, so that's why I suggested seeing a professional.
@moveon this all sounds very familiar. I know the exact feeling of being paralysed and having a burning desire to change but not having the motivation to do anything to help yourself.
It is very obvious that you are completely overwhelmed. When it gets too hard, people have a tendency to get into the fetal position. That's what you are doing right now, hoping the problem fixes itself. The problem is only going to get worse.
What I am about to tell you is key to succeeding here. We are not looking for HUGE and INSTANT results. If you go too hard you likely won't be able to maintain it and we're back to the start. We're looking for a fun and manageable way for you to improve. This means baby steps. And yes it means time and consistency. Do yourself a favour and understand that there is no quick fix and you will be fixing yourself for years. I give you advice based off my experience because that's all I can give. Also I can certainly empathise with your situation so I think I can help.
Consider focusing on these things.
You've got to tackle your masturbation. No porn, no ejaculating. Sometimes having tug can take the edge off but no ejaculating. A full tank of testosterone will turn you into superman. Your mood will lift so much once you stop. This is non negotiable.
Exercise. To build motivation and build the habit of consistency, start with walking every day. Morning and/or evening is good, especially if you can watch the sunset. I can't tell you how much this helps. Exercise has got to be fun. For me lifting weights is boring as fuck so instead I do boxing. It tones me and brings me joy. Hell, do rock climbing if it mean you enjoy it. You just got to maintain. Yeah you may dream of looking like the incredible hulk but I would rather be fit, toned, skinny and happy than sitting at home jerking off to thoughts of myself with a god like physique but unable to take action on it because I could compromise. Whatever gets you out of the house and exercising, do it. Even if it's just teaching yourself to handstand. If you CAN hit the gym hard and keep it consistent then all the better.
As for friends. Well, I used to be socially awkward and a little retarded, but at age 16 I said NO MORE. Improving my social skills became a focus of mine. This is NOT something you can work hard on. This takes time and most of it is subconscious. I am 23 now. I can't tell you much I have improved. It is unrecognisable. This was done through pushing myself little bit by little bit. Building micro success upon micro success. I slowly re-sculpted parts of my mind.
If you can keep up the AA programme then go for it! If you're one of those people that does it for a while but can't face it then that's cool. Just make sure you're pushing yourself to talking to people and connecting with others.
Also, id highly suggest you stop reading self improvement books because they are nothing nore but mental masturbation and its the least thing you need, you need to do stuff not read about it anymore.
And you said your goals are to studdy, gym and diet. You can do all these at the same time, even a monkey can do that, whats your deal?
Making such a big deal of those 3 things as its some next level shit... I dont understand you.
And also i see no reason to not go daily for an hour and approach/try to approach girls.
You probably live in USA and in some nice city.
And i live in a 15k people town... Id kill to have your circumstances.
Remember that you got no problems, you are just way too comfortable.
You dont wanna improve because you simply dont have to.
Didnt see. If you are masturbating you must cut it, that shit drains you.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.