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Just thought fairly hard on this, and nothing comes to mind.
Considering the (limited) success I've experienced here as of recent, I cannot say I had any "fear of success" to begin.
FEAR OF REJECTION - yes
FEAR OF FAILURE - yes
After experiencing some success --- we should quickly become (more or less) numb to rejection/failure. not TOTAL rejection/failure, rejection and failure relating to the experiences we have had success with
Abundance makes the difference.
Should I care if this person doesn't buy or flakes on me?
No. I am great on the phone so I can set as many appointments as needed in a day.
Should I care if this person doesn't buy what I am providing?
No. I am not poor right now and never will be again.
I guess this doesn't apply to true success but there are a lot of communities (my experience is in poor countries) where if someone from that community even has the illusion of being moderately successful, everybody there including their family and friends feel entitled to their money and will put massive pressure, shaming and guilt tripping on them to pay for a huge amount of things, often when the person really isn't that rich at all.
I think for most people the fear of success is "what happens next?"
ie Notch (creator of video game Minecraft) sold it to Microsoft for 2.5 billion dollars.
For most people success = being rich, so once you get to millionaire+ status (even just making 100k+ a year for some) they are filled with questions of uncertainty, no end game plan. They've reached the summit and for them, they see that the only way to go is down (or plateau).
Basically I think they don't want to loose that feeling of gaining or wanting like body builder who hasn't maxed out their potential. Because what do you do when you've become Mr Olympia? Retire and sell supplements with your name on them.
Few people (Arnold Schwarzenegger for example) achieved their goals and set new ones, and moved on.
"But what if it works?" - fear of success
"But what if I mess up?" - fear of failure
Both are "what if" questions, both can paralyze you from making decisions, but I see the FoF as pre-action and FoS as post-action questions that people ask themselves.
It has more to do with being afraid of taking risks, doing something uncomfortable, investing 100% in yourself. This is what people are afraid of. It is easier to sit back in a cozy day job that taps into sub 1% of your potential and be lazy as fuck.
"Playing Life on Hard Mode"
Isn't for everyone. Fuck, most Americans can't even follow a half way decent diet and not be fat slobs, let alone fuck hot women, become successful etc...
I think it might have to do with the (lack of)sense of entitlement. The person questions whether he is worthy/deserving of that success and new achieved "state", whichever that might be, financial, social.
The person sees himself as such a failure that succeeding is not like him. It must be some type of anomaly, so the person self sabotage himself to maintain his current "state" and maintain his identity as a failure. Maybe growing up with parents/family that talked down to him has created mental blocks that prevent him for seeking success.
Also, it might have to do with being successful in one area of life and as a result of that failing at other areas. Losing yourself in that change, letting go of parts of your personality in that transformation, losing friends, family.
An example is a beta guy with Oneitis for a hot girl that doesn't reciprocate his feelings. He knows that to have her like him, he has to become Alpha, but as a result he'll lose his Oneitis for her, because he'll have more options by being Alpha.
So I think fear of success has to do with not willing to pay the price it requires, whatever that might be.
I think this 'fear of success' is attempting to explain the phenomenon where people sabotage themselves just as they are about to, or just after, they reach a new level of success.
The book 'The Big Leap' addresses this. It says that each of us have an internal 'upper limit' which can stop us from progressing further.
I think Chris you address this in your stuff about having the attitude of entitlement. Because an upper limit essentially says 'who am I to be banging some of the hottest chicks on the planet?/making a million dollars a year?' or whatever your limit is.
In the book 'The Big Leap' I think they describe some of the limits pretty well, how they manifest, but the section on how to resolve them I found to be weak. Perhaps I just didn't know how to use his advice I'm not sure, I cant' remember now what the process was meant to be.
Here's a list of the limits as defined in that book:
Hidden Barrier No. 1: Feeling Fundamentally Flawed – The belief that one is fundamentally flawed in some way is an immense barrier to optimal experience. And it brings with it a related fear: If you did make a commitment to fully using your unique gifts, you might fail. This belief tells you to play it safe and stay small. That way, if you fail, at least you fail small.
Hidden Barrier No. 2: Disloyalty and Abandonment – This barrier is the feeling that I cannot expand on my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots and leave behind people from my past.
Hidden Barrier No. 3: Believing That More Success Makes You a Bigger Burden – This barrier is the feeling that I cannot achieve my highest potential because I’d be an even bigger burden than I am now.
Hidden Barrier No. 4: The Crime of Outshining – The unconscious mantra of the outshining barrier goes like this: I must not achieve my full success, because if I did I would outshine someone and make him or her look or feel bad.
I had a massive thing about feeling "fundamentally flawed". I thought I was completely worthless at age 20, the first time a girl told me I was attractive I thought she was taking the piss because I thought I must be ugly. Apparently not lol.
The 2nd limit I had to deal with was "fear of outshining", I would say I had some concerns about making other people I knew look bad, I probably limited myself for a long time as to not make people feel stupid or unsuccessful by comparison.
For a while I didn't want to "out shine" other people because I didn't want others to feel bad because I was in that position before. I got over it. I think theres also some fear in people that once they become successful they will lose it. And in their minds its some how better to just not even know what it feels like to be successful because they can't take the pain of losing it.
Either way any fear of success or feeling bad for being more successful than others is stupid. Just takes time to get over it.
Also I think the trick to maintaining and ingraining good and successful habits (such as going to the gym, approaching women, meditating, eating healthy) lies in how you think about it. If you're making it a grind it's going to feel like a shit load of effort. If you can have fun with it, enjoy it, feel good about yourself, enjoy the small successes and the process along the way it is 100x easier. I think a concious effort to changing how you think about things and having more fun can help with this.
Everything we do in life revolves around one thing.
Everything is done to optimize preservation (body, mind, genes, etc)
An internal struggle arises when we try to decide how to go about it. There is short term and long term preservation. Surviving is short term, thriving is long term. So there is always a struggle between the two.
ex: an egg today vs a chicken tomorrow, is a typical existential struggle between short term and long term preservation.
Optimizing long term preservation(thriving) comes with the cost of compromising short term preservation. Investing
Lacking fear of success means that your long term preservation is dominant in leading your life.
"fear of outshining" is a good example of this type of struggle. Outshining means that you'll become better than your group, that you'll be different. When you're different(better or worse), you risk being ostracized by the group, because they can't relate to you anymore. That's a herd mentality, a survival(short term preservation) way of thinking(not thriving). I've had it too at some point in my life.
There are always scenarios where it's good to use it.
In "48 laws of power" by Robert Greene.
Never Outshine the Master
Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress
them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire
fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain
the heights of power.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.