TOPIC: Back to life - from 70 to 0 to 100.

Ho lee-Shit. Where should I start?
This is going to be long, I don't really expect anyone to read it, the next entries will be much shorter. It's going to be like a review for me. I need to write down what's in my head.

Alright. I'm 19.5 yrs old, from Berlin. I had a diary in a German pick up forum, but it didn't really work out, because I always had the fear somebody would recognise me. I also know some people (no stupid PUAs) from this community in personal and didn't want them to see that I'm still a virgin, so I made a second account there.

I want to write everything in detail and so I think this community is better. Another reason is that this is the best fuckin site available for every body/man. Some things in the get ripped section are not true, but the best thing about this site are the other sections. How Chris analyses the social life at universities for example is genius.

Ok, my story. I always was pretty introverted and my main activity was to observe people, like some movie character who knows everything about a person the first time he sees her. But I also always had really good friends. 2 of the 4 friends I had in elementary school dissociated themselves from me respectively I dissociated myself from them, because of different interests. The became gamers and I got my first real gf at that time. The 3rd of them ist still my best friend and will always be, thats something I'm really grateful for, because he's like a second me. In "high school" I didn't really have friends and even got bullied a bit so I changed schools. I was a bit fat back then and had glasses... not thaaat ugly, but a bit. The new start was awesome (I never really recognised it that much ). I lost fat, got better looking glasses and found 4 awesome friends in my new class. I was the class clown a bit and just a few weeks after I got to my new social circle we started a band. A few months later I got my first real girlfriend at the class trip. I was 14 so no sex.. A few months later she broke up with me which left me sad for a month or so. One of my friends fell in love with her, which my ex-gf fortunately not reciprocated. But we weren't friends anymore. Two years later the classes were allocated differently for the last two years. This is where the shit began. I was a maverick again and only met my old friends in the breaks. But they had more luck and found new friends, so in most breaks I were alone. I also didn't grow anymore.. it seems like something went wrong with my body.. this doesn' feel right and I still think it's caused by a malfunction, hormone defienciency or sth. Maybe becase I was a vegetarian for 3 years... I guess I'm about 173-175cm. I won't use this as an excuse (anymore), but its undenieable that this is a disadvantage. I trained from 15-18 with no results, from 18-19 with some results, but I'm still a bit skinny fat at (ridiculous) 59kg. But my abs are visable and I'm know starting a leanbulk for 6 months or so. Calorie expenditure is measured with a bodymedia band. This area of my life will soon not be a problem anymore.
It's weird.. in those 2 last years of school I was between the in-crowd and being a loner. I think it's my "fault" too. If I were more extroverted I would've belonged to the in-crowd, but anyways, I can't change that. I still had a lot of chances to bang girls 2-3yrs younger than me, but I recognised these chances only when it was too late.
Last december I met 3 girls and I think I should've moved faster with them. I kissed one of them at our 2nd date and when we met after that we were lying on her bed and I didn't do a thing. After that we didn't meet anymore... stupid.

The last 8 months I was tryng to figure out what I want to do with my life career wise. I started a Busines Administration study last October, but wasn't satisfied... of course I wasn't. I read all those books like 4 hour work week a few years ago and I was always somebody that thought differently than other people, which is one of my greatest strengths. I think most people here are different. We are not willing to life a mediocre life. Ok, nobody wants that, but we DO something to achieve our goals and make our dreams reality. In the first exam period I had severe doubts about my studies, but when the exams were over I took a small break, tried to figure out what I want to do with the result that a want to get an elite job at McKinsey for example. I think, if I would have had a girlfriend back then, the result would've been different. When I was at clubs doing some (1 or 2, SOMEtimes up to 5) approaches and when I had no success I always was angry... I always drove home pretty drunk and thought that I need/want to get a high paying, prestigious job..... to compensate. Don't get me wrong, I still think career is an EXTREMELY important part of my life. If I anyway have to do something 8 hrs per day, I might as well do something I like at least a bit 10 hours a day and earn a lot. As an employee my goal would be 100k at the age of 35 for 40 hrs per week doing something I don't hate. I kinda like the law, but in Germany you basically study for 7 years and your whole future (100k or jobless or NO DEGREE AT ALL) depends on one exam. It's ridiculous. The good thing is, you don't really have to pay tuition fees here and you even GET money for studying. I'm going to pause my business administration studies now to find out what I want. Most probable: medicine, law or startup. From next week on I'm going to work for a startup 2-3 times a week (for money, network, experience) and either learn medicine or law stuff to figure out whats right for me. The problem is, I only have ONE chance to study medicine, bc my high school grades are too bad. My only chance is vienna, where I have to be top 20% of an admission test. But that isn't really more unlikely than getting good enogh grades in the law. Only the 10-15% best graduates get (good) jobs.
This whole career shit makes my head explode. But I NEED to decide now. If I cancel my Business studies I already have one gap in my C.V. so top tier consulting and banking won't be possible anymore.. probably they aren't possible anymore now, because of my high school grades.. Anyways, I'm not really interested in this business stuff, only startups.
For medicine, the CV doesn't matter... every doctor gets the same salary. I think, medicine would be best. No fees here, good salary, possibility to open an own practice, great prestige, relatively interesting and probably fulfilling.


I also have slight social anxiety. Mostly in moments when I'm with people at the same age. Sometimes I feel like my head is about to start shaking every second. Or when I want to drink something and feel somebody's watching me I almost spill my water.. very weird. I also can't eat in queit surroundings, because I hate when people could hear the chewing sound Its hindering and I need to attack this. When I walk besides a girl and we are not looking ourselves in the eyes the whole time I'm almost completely relaxed.

To ensure hardcore improvement in every area of my life I'm going to give a short rating at each update, like this:

Life Areas:
Social Life: 3/10 One very good friend and some other acquaintances I don't see often. Sucks.
Sex Life: 1/10 Still a virgin. Last "kiss close" 8 months ago.
Career: I dont know... searching for answers that don't exist. We'll see..
Family: 9/10 Good.. still live at home and hav seen my 2 grandmothers recently.
Looks: 7/10 Almost maxed. Invisalign will be finished in 10 days, biggest achievement this year so far Need height increasing shoes, some clothes, something that reduces my eye circles..
Health: 9.5/10 Got a full check one week ago. Everything is alright, except the mental part, because I've till not taken the career decision (some burn out signs because of that)
Body: 5/10 Leanbulk since one week. Will be alright next summer and awesome in like 2 years.


That's it for now. I still need to make a specific plan and figure out how I can fit about at least 20 hrs of approaching per week into my shedule.

Now I officially took one semester off.
My mind is a mess. That's why I'm going to try a retreat now. I'll do some research about meditation on quora for 2 more hours now and then decide what to do. Maybe I'll travel to Thailand or so, maybe I'll do the retreat at home.

Furthermore I started playing the guitar again. Being ablte to master "comptine d'un autre ete" on guitar will also be an awesone attraction boost

It's all about habits

Warning: I'm still not approaching.. you have to be patient here

I just read "The happiness advantage" by Shawn Achor and didn't really learn anything new. Thats not really surprising, I already made the resolution to stop reading those self improvement and happiness books or at least read less of them. 2 years ago I wanted to read one book per week and it brought me (almost) nowhere. It's better to read one awesome book per year and implement EVERYTHING. Reading books doesn't do shit. You have to use them as manuals and start doing something. Otherwise it's just mental masturbation...

Learnings:
- without happiness you can't reach your full potential
- It's not "when I achieve this, I'll be happy". Happiness has to be there first
- We see what we look for / selective perception / tetris effect : write down 3 good things (you are grateful for) everyday
- biggest driver of success = believe that our behaviour matters (if I do more approaches, I will get more numbers/dates/lays)

Biggest learning:
common sense IS NOT common action. I knew everything in this book before reading it. But I think I'm only implementing half of it. The problem: establishing new habits. That's why my previous attempts to keep on writing a diary and doing more approaches or finishing the AA program have failed. I have enough willpower. That's why going to the gym 4 times per week feels as natural as brushing my teeth does to me. But when it comes to girls or my social life or social anxiety, willpower is not enough. I need a plan with reasonable SMART defined goals and a system that helps to establish new habits. I even knew this before... since I read "Awaken the Giant within", but somehow it's just to hard to make approaching a habit... I get frustrated, subconsciuosly search and find good excuses and stray from the right path. I guess, it's because the answer I get from girls is most of the time personal. Yes, sometimes I get rejected, because she has a bad mood, boyfriend or whatever, but often it's because of the looks or height, which can't be changed a lot.

I know that no girl will fly through my window while I'm sitting in my room watching netflix. And I know that with the information of GLL I can have an awesome life. It won't even take a long time to get there. This can be done in one or three months of hardcore aproaching. But the way is so. fucking. hard.

This time, I know I'll make it. The MOST IMPORTANT habit I want to focus on now, is to, at leat shortly, write here everyday. No excuses. No fancy plans that I can't adhere to anymore. One new habit at a time. This will keep me accountable and I think it would embarass me too much to still don't approach Don't hesitate to yell at me, if I still don't make it.


Ok.. "no fancy plans anymore" was exaggerated, I love this mental masturbation, so I'm still going to create one BUT this time EVERY other goal has at most 2nd priority. If they all fail, its alright, as long as I keep on writing here.



__________________________________________________________________________________________
New ultimate plan
Focus: - Write here everyday

Daily:

• plan the day with Cal Newport's simple time management system
• write on GLL forum
• kegels and pushes while peeing and brushing teeth and basic jelqing routine

Weekly:

• read this post again
• participate in sweepstakes. full srs takes only a few minutes
• review of the week
• update training log
• update my getting things done list
• 20 mins LISS cardio or 40 min walks on off days (i.e. 3-4 times/week)
• 5 approaches. If I don't make it, I have to fetch them later, so no matter what I'll do at least 260 per year
• go through my looksmaxing routine

Monthly:

• take ALL measurements and make photos of my body progress and save them on USB stick
• read all my notes (from books, GLL etc) again
• copy this thread in a .doc

Other:

• watch more series in english with subtitles
• watch Californication again to get top tier swag
• establish new habit of asking myself every second if what I'm currently doing will contribute to a great future. 100% productive? Act as if I'm my own personal coach.
• Be happy and optimistic and look for the positive in every situation
• only active reading, i.e. writing the most important points into my folder
• eat more vegetables
• no porn

The goal of approaching 5 girls per week is the BARE minimum. I'll try to do 20 per week and when I take a vacation just to do hardcore approaching, I'll maybe do up to 100 per week.

Weekly review in this form: 1. Goals achieved? 2. If no, why not? ---> Improve plan [/color]

_______________________________________________________________________________________


A thing I noticed: there are no perfect people. Often good looking people, who always had success with girls, don't have enough money. Rockstars are unhealthy and have a shitty physique.... So I don't need to plan every detail in my life.. For example I used to have a ridiculous routine for cleaning my face. I even googled the advantages and disadvantages of using cold or hot water Now I clean my face once every 2-4 days and it's perfectly fine. 2 years ago, I used to be obsesed with body language and thought about every move I made, which only led to self monitoring and social anxiety. I need to concentrate on the BIG WINS.

Note to self: when going to the club next week, use height increasing soles in the blue shoes that otherwise would be too big anyway

Read "The $100 Startup" the whole day and arranged to go to a club next week with 4 friends.
Nothing else to report.

I really need to get a life. Otherwise I'll never find the answer to the question which career I should choose, because I'm just too focused and do nothing else but think about this topic.

Decided to go to Thailand for one or two months next January. Flights are cheaper than I thought. I'll also go on short party trips to other German cities where I have friends and can sleep for free. Maybe a one week vacation in Teneriffa or so in December and a ski and drinking holiday March with my best friends.
This should help.

I have 4000€ or so, but need to get a startup job ASAP, because I never want to have less than 2k again. So goal for tomorrow: 2 applications

Forgot to meditate today, but at least I noticed it.
Arranged to watch football with a friend in a bar before going to the club this Friday.

Discovered another awesome opportunity, where I could study medicine in an awesome city with almost no fees. I'll start learning for the entrance exam for about 2 hrs a day now. There are good apps for this, so it won't really cost me any time, because I can do it everywhere.

I'm wondering how difficult it is to get enough clients (or paid hours) as a private tutor, personal trainer or something. Advantages of such a business are: a) almost no costs b) no high risk c) it pays right from the beginning. The disadvantage is that it's basically impossible to get rich doing this, but I don't think I need to get rich. As I said 60k€/yr doing something I like would be awesome. The "millionaire fastlane forum" seems to be quite good (sorry Chris ).

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that a slightly above average business degree is only good for people that a) like working for others b) like consulting, banking or auditing and b) want a steady, "good" (40-65k) income. I never tried working in one of these areas, but I think the probability that I'll find them incredibly boring are too damn high.
If you can get a top tier consulting or investment banking job and grind through it 5 yrs while not spending much, you can save 100k, which is a good starting capital. But if you only get a normal job (which is sadly the only optin for me), even saving it lot, would only get you to 50k or so after 5 yrs.
25€ per hour x 160 hours would be 4000€ per month, which is what I would get with a business degree. I need to find a way to get enough hours.

Never again will I smoke weed. It was just a bit, but I got paranoid as fuck again. Horrible, I just wanted to be at home and in my bed, took me 3 hours.
So yes.. we didn't even make it into the club, because of that. Never again. Just 2-4 beers from now on.

Found an awesome job posting from a startup. Now I'll write the best cover letter I've ever seen, get that fucking job, prove myself and maybe get the chance to work their without a degree.If I work 20hrs per week, I'll have about 6000€, from which 3k are for travelling.

Next try to go to a club; this Friday.

Almost finished "The Art of Non-Conformity". Now, I'll create my first blog even if I have to stay up until tomorrow morning to find a good name
Goal: 300€ passive income each month in 6 months. 1000€ each month in 1 year.
Tactic: Sharing my knowledge, but also using loads of Affiliate-Programmes. Lets go.

Alright, after running some numbers about what would happen if the worst case scenario occurs, I don't know if it gives me more courage to follow my plan, but it certainly gives me more clarity. If my business (whatever that may be) fails after 2-5 years I have those choices: a) take a mediocre paid job at a startup (hopefully I have a good network until then and some marketable skills) and after a break start up again. b) start studying medicine, which would be at bit late at the age of 23-27, but still ok. c) take a mediocre paid job at a startup and try to climb up the ladder.
I don't think the worst case scenario aint really that bad.

After gaining more clarity on this, I'll focus on these things:

• 1. Get a half time online marketing job (application is sent)
• 2. sex and social life
• 3. Learn just an hour a day for the medical entrance exam

I think it's the 3rd or 4th time now that I decide to focus on getting laid and social life But every try was better than the last one and this one will suceed.
Going to read a bit in this Forum and on Chris' site again today to get the theory back in my head and gain some motivation.

Goals update:
Daily:

plan the day with Cal Newport's simple time management system CHECK
write on GLL forum CHECK
2x 20 mins meditation NOPE: reduced to 1x 20 mins --> CHECK


Weekly:

read this post again CHECK
participate in sweepstakes. full srs takes only a few minutes CHECK
review of the week NOPE: not necessary
update my getting things done list CHECK
20 mins LISS cardio or 40 min walks on off days (i.e. 3-4 times/week) CHECK
5 approaches. If I don't make it, I have to fetch them later, so no matter what I'll do at least 260 per year NOPE: -5
go through my looksmaxing routine CHECK


Monthly:

take ALL measurements and make photos of my body progress and save them on USB stick
read all my notes (from books, GLL etc) again CHECK

Tinder doesn't seem to be that good for average looking guys.. The girls just have too much choice. But I'll still use it. I set the location to Bangkok for fun and the match rate is almost 100% for a white guy

I'm going to upload pictures of me to a rating site to know where I am. I would say I'm a 7.

edit: quote on online game: "Funny thing with online dating, it polarizes the effects of female hypergamy. If you're not in the top 20%, yeah, it's a massive uphill battle for minimal goods. Way better results with dealing with chicks in person.

If you are in the top 20%, it's honestly much, much easier roping in some slut than hitting up a bar or working day game."

reminder: I need to use this in the about me section. www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/391...ds_at_online_dating/

Hmmm.. I think with every day my odds increase automatically; more growth of beard, more muscles, more masculinity, more money and maybe a bit more height.. So I guess doing hardcore approaching would be a good experience, but also a waste of time somehow. This is were I agree with wallstreetplayboys a bit. But it also can't be an excuse, I need at least 1 lay and lets say 2 kiss closes this year.

The online game market is fucked here, but I'm using tinder though, because it's the least time expensive.
social circle game >>> club game >>>>>>>>> online game


Edit: Lol, sometimes reading on Blocked by administrator can be the opposite of depressing. After seeing pictures of some of those very ugly (really ) people, I think those people are a very different society than us GLLers and that I'm maybe a bottom 7.
And what makes me really happy at the moment is that I've found another pair of shoes where I can fit the height increasing soles. They are even better and allow for 2 soles, which gives me about 5 cm without any discomfort! I had already given up on the thought of ever beeing successful in club gaming, but this is nothing short of a BREAKTHROUGH.

It's almost like getting what other people pay 50k for (leg surgery) for 5€, fuck I'm so euphoric right now
barefoot: 170cm (shit, thought I was at least 173cm)
with soles: 176 and there's still place for another 2 cm.