This is an opinion website that offers information of a general nature and none of the opinions should be construed as advice. Nothing contained within the site is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to Good Looking Loser. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals.
Affiliate Disclosure: At absolutely no expense to you, if you make a purchase, we may receive commissions from some links on this website. That is how our community supports itself. I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Thanks!
I suffer from a huge fear of judgment and fear of conflict.
Quick story to let you have a insight:
1.I know people stare at me at the gym because I'm pretty huge, and also I like to wear tank tops to see myself in the mirror, but when people stare at me my mind goes: "they are going to tell you something bad", "they are thinking bad things about you or your body". Therefore I start getting nervous or walking wierd, or I have to look at some place like the floor, the window...etc to avoid eye contact with the guys who are watching me to avoid getting even more nervous.
2.My room mate left the kitchen dirty after I left home. I brought a girl, and I was feeling like shit because I was thinking that the girl might be thinking that I am dirty or untidy, EVEN IF IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!
*I've tried exposing myself to these situations for aproximatly more than 2-3 years but it never seems to go off.
Either way bruh, get out of your head, stop feeling so self conscious. Yep they may be staring at you and thinking who knows what, but you know what?? It's your body, who do you see when you look in the mirror! People like to stare at good looking people. So if you're getting started at a lot, it means all your efforts have been paying off. If you're a big guy, you should feel more confident about yourself!
Shake your body, take some deep breaths, look yourself in the mirror with the eyes of a predator and kill your gym workout!
You gotta get used to this, you wanted to get big so you have to deal with the attention you're going to get, positive or negative.
Obviously, you've put in the time and effort to get jacked if you're getting looks at the gym. Embrace it man. Every guy, in every gym around the country, is checking out the other guys in there to size them up. It's our natural tendency. We want to know where we are in the hierarchy of "Jack-itude". If you're the biggest guy in the gym, congratulations; you're the top dog, or one of the top ones, in that gym. Own it. Flaunt it. Granted, don't be a prick about it, but don't be ashamed to show off your hard work. You've earned it through the sweat and pain. Also, the women of the gym will pick up that vibe and appreciate your masculine confidence.
If you've got this negative script in your head about "people are thinking bad things about me", then that's going to destroy your confidence. Remember, whatever the fuck they're thinking (which 99.9% of the time, they're thinking about themselves), it's not your responsibility to make them think something different. All you can do is tell yourself that you're a fucking badass king in that gym, and if anyone has a legitimate problem with you showing off your hard earned body, then they can step up and speak their mind. Otherwise, what they think is not your concern.
As for the second issue, either ignore the mess your roomie leaves around and if the girl comments on it, just tell her the truth and/or tell your roomie to help you out and clean up his shit. You're not his mother and you don't leave your shit around for him to clean up. Believe me, I had a roomie who acted the same way and all it took was about two conversations to get my point across clearly. If he's unwilling to help you out, do what you gotta do to keep your "half" clean and look for a better roomie if possible.
From now on, start making eye contact with everybody. It's obviously not gonna be comfortable, but do it anyway.
Start off small. Maybe only make eye contact with 'safe' targets like old ladies, ugly women, or whoever you're the least intimidated by. Once you're comfortable with that, make eye contact with other people. Eventually, by taking little baby steps, you should be able walk around anywhere with your head held high and make eye contact with anybody.
Once you get to that point, work on NEVER breaking eye contact. Let the other person break first. You'll start noticing how quick most guys look away and how some girls will keep looking at you, giving you a perfect opportunity to smile and say hi.
I have a relatively muscular build, but I'm not that big. On top of that, I'm 5'7'' so I'm far from intimidating. But no one ever fucks with me when I stare at them. They might say something if they're really annoyed by it, but they won't do shit. In the back of my mind, I have the mindset to fucking murder them if they try anything. Chances are, I have a lot more fighting experience than they do and a higher threshold to pain. If you don't feel confident in that area, start taking MMA classes or learn how to brawl so you don't fear anyone.
Also, being able to do this has made it 1000000x times easier to see which girls want my dick in their mouth and which ones don't. It's not always a guarantee that she's available just because she looks at you, but your chances are a lot higher, trust me on that. People tend to stare at things they like. I tend to size bigger dudes up and stare at girls with cute ass faces and big fat asses.
It's part of being a man. Looking down or not being able to look someone in the eye are bitch tendencies. It's only okay to do that if you're a girl. You're not a girl, are you? Nah, you're a big, jacked motherfucker that will fuck anybody up at the drop of a dime. Remember that.
I used to have pretty severe public anxiety. In 1st year of university, the idea of going to the gym and being around all those people mortified me. I remember I used to walk down the stairs and be close to almost having a panic attack because I thought everyone was staring at me.
When I think about this now, it seems so funny to me now because I've come so far. Now when I walk down those same stairs where everyone in the gym can see me, I'm thinking that I hope everyone looks at me and notices how sexy I am hahahaha.
Follow Relentless' advice, but also recognize that this is a self-esteem and an "over-thinking" issue. You have low self-esteem, but you also over analyze things because you're too much in to your head.
I solved this issue by dressing cool and looking like a guy that I'm proud to look at in the mirror. Compounded with getting A lot more pussy in the last two years, this has really helped my confidence out.
The GoodLookingLoser.com forum offers visitors the ability to exchange information and thoughts. Nothing contained within GoodLookingLoser.com forum is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to GoodLookingLoser.com or of Goodlookingloser.com itself. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals. Visitors are to make their own independent inquiries before acting on any information contained within the website forum.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.