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K I've been on 3 dates in the past week. And have 4 more setup this week. Only 1 of those is a date 2, the other two girls don't wanna meet up for a date 2. I've noticed some bad habits that I am going to fix for my new date 1's this week, but what I want to know is what kind of stuff the vets here make sure to do and not to do on date 1's. Keep in mind my date 1's are almost always coffee dates. Usually I make small talk and do a bit of kino and hug close at the end. I don't know how to amp it up to the next level to ensure I secure a date 2 with the girl so I can try and fuck her. Gimme your best stuff fellas.
Goal is not to fuck her first date. Said on another dating thread that I'm pretty sure you commented on too that I am not advanced enough to be going for date 1 lays yet. I am trying to create enough comfort on date 1's and portray that I'm a confident cool guy who gets laid etc. Then date 2 or 3 I shoot for lay. As it stands right now I am having trouble retaining girls after date 1 though so I was wondering what kind of tips people have for solid date 1's. Right now I mostly make small talk and do a bit of touching but was thinking maybe I need to throw in some sexual conversation to get the girl into it more. Not really sure what I'm doing wrong to be honest because obviously these girls were into me if they agreed to meet up with me in the first place after giving me their number.
I hope my opinion isn't out of the norm but I think that all the "pushing yourself" kind of stuff is for the approaches. Once you are on the date itself she' already interested in seeing you so you don't have to worry as much. I would say just be as natural as possible and comfortable in your own skin and try to exude that as best as you can. Don't force things that don't seem natural especially if you're not trying to fuck on the first date. But I guess it could depend on what's natural for the individual.
I still dont understand why you dont try to fuck the girls on first date.
Dude, put yourself into the girls mind:
Wow, a guy just hit on my directly on the street in the middle of the day.
Wow, hes confident and good looking
Wow, he asks me if I want to hang out
He is definitely a confident guy, I think I want to hang out with him, maybe he will give me some good sex
... wtf he took me to coffee and he didnt even kiss me????
You shouldnt wait to fuck them until the day2 - you even tell us you have problems retaining them after day1
So fuck them while you have them - on the first date. Escalation is ATTrACTIVE.
If you hit on a girl on the street like a man, she EXPECTS you to escalate like a man on you day1.
Boy toy is spot on. From my experience if i didn't fuck a girl on the first date, i usually didn't see them again, primarily because of logistics. However the girls i fucked on the first date i usually kept around.
Most of the girls I get numbers from are at my campus during school time. Coffee works well because we can meetup again when our breaks line up. If I was to invite a girl to my house to watch a movie or something on date 1 (aka to fuck) I assume 99% of girls will figure out I just want to fuck them and not agree to it. And ideally I would at least kiss them on the coffee date but usually were in a public coffee shop surrounded by other students. Besides some physical escalation I don't know how I could get a makeout or something without her feeling like were committing a PDA.
hey man so this ones a tough one
I usually go for the lay on date 2 with a coffee date to start from online dating (via Ross)
I bring up sex on the first date. Often start with funny stuff like innuendos that are subtle or telling them a story about my weird nympho neighbors (jk forum that weird nympho neighbor is me)
in terms of escalation I get really touchy
I do what I can to sit next to the girl or walk with the girl
one of my best sexualized first dates, I put my hand on her thigh and rubbed my thumb in circles
she told me later at that point she knew I knew what was up
I ended up making out with her in the elevator (one of my favorite places to make out)
I push girls into things, grab their hands to look at rings, tattoos, or comment that they're cold
I gauge if they pull their hands away or not.
Sometimes the girl makes the first overt move
I try not to touch their hair neck or chest area (eg looking at a necklace) too soon cause it seems to pop their 'bubble'
K well I've had 3 dates and all of them coffee dates with some physical touching, and good conversation. First girl told me we aren't a good match when I suggested date 2. Second girl is harder to get in contact with now and seems to be somewhat ignoring me. And the 3rd girl who is a high school LG isn't as easy to get ahold with either. We're supposed to have our second date tomorrow but I have a strong feeling she'll flake or just ignore me. I've decided I'm shooting for a lay first date from now on. Fuck, I can't stand sitting through a coffee date for an hour making pointless conversation when I know it won't even lead to my penis inside the snatch until next time we meet. From now on my date 1 gameplan is meet for a quick coffee somewhere close to my house (so I don't have to actually tell them to meet at my house), and then drive us both back to my house without directly saying where were going. Kind of a variation of boytoy's method. Thought it might work well if I suggested a movie after the coffee and then when I bring her to my house and she's like wtf are we doing here, I can just say were gonna watch a movie on netflix. Does this seem legit? I know my conversational skills are above average, so clearly I must be lacking enough physicality to make enough attraction for them to want to come back and chill with me again. This LG girl from highschool told me on the first date stuff like "oh its so obvious when guys just want sex, they always just invite me to their house on the first date and I can see right through them." But I've seen her twitter and her statuses are riddled with blatant signs she wants to get piped. I need to shift gears and start shooting for the fuck on date 1 every time. I have a date tomorrow night (2nd date with LG I just mentioned, but feel like she'll flake), then a first date with a girl I know has done shit with a lot of dudes on friday night, and then a date with a girl from pof sunday. Does this blueprint look good enough? Meet for coffee closeby, drive to my house and provide indirection to her if she questions it, then when she's in my house pretty much follow boytoys blueprint to the tee. I feel like the coffee is necessary because it makes them feel comfortable enough to actually meetup with me because its low pressure, but then I can flip the script and fuck them at my house. Opinions would be appreciated.
Just got a big excuse from the high school LG girl saying how shes seeing her ex again and we can't see eachother anymore because he wouldn't like it. I have the inside scoop on her though because I've seen her twitter. Right after I suggested a second date and she gave me the excuse she tweeted "Sorry but did you really think our coffee date at starbucks that turned into a awkward chat in the food court would actually go somewhere? Cause I deffinatly think not, I mean come on. That was as far from a hot date as possible ahahahha" She has no idea that I have this inside info. Keep in mind before the first date after I got her number she was texting me first and was tweeting stuff like "omg met the hottest guy at the mall today, got a hot date!" So clearly something I am doing (or not doing) on the first date is seriously fucking me over. I am lucky I have this insider information or else I wouldn't have a clue I was fucking up. Strange thing was I felt the date was the last thing from awkward.
@SSK08, NO, you should definitely NOT say "lets go back to my place and fuck" ...
girls have to act like good girls.. so if you say stuff like that, she MUST DENY (it is her duty as a woman, to keep her pride)
always give some kind of bullshit excuse to go back to ur place (movie, food, coffe, drink, water, see my dog, chill, whatever)
@dc7: sorry man but I told ya. when u hit on them on the street like an agressive motherfucker, you have to follow through..
think about it... she liked "THE SEXUALLY AGRESSIVE GUY FROM THE STREET"
so when she agrees to meet you, in her mind she expects she will meet "THE SEXUALLY AGRESSIVE GUY THAT TRIES TO FUCK ME AT FIRST DATE"
imo, coffee is a good excuse. you can try for the "quick coffe at coffe shop then bounce home"
but you can also just tell her when you set up a date.: "hey lets grab a coffee some time, ill pick u up at this 8pm time from ur house"
see what u did there? u didnt tell her WHERE you should drink her coffee.
so pick her up, drive back to your place, act as everything is cool, make coffee at your place, dirnk it , fuck her
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