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I can't imagine with these profile pictures that he's dating any really decent girls. So maybe he's getting dates, he still needs to improve his looks.
There are no rules and especially no 80/20 rule unless that's some PUA tactic. Watch any of Chris' pick up videos whether in the day or night. He talks just as much or even more than the girls when he's with them. He does instant dates with these chicks too so don't say day/night game isn't like a 'date'. There's no change in dialogue between day/night game and dates loool. It's small talk - escalation. You can talk about more deep stuff but there's no rules or set in stone stuff here.
And me, with girls I've gotten hard rejected, gone on second dates gotten laid and I talked the most with all of these girls. You're not becoming less attractive because you talk less.. wtf... That's weird dude. You are preaching such PUA shit. That's not being yourself, that's being some try hard clown. Girls don't just go on rants for 80% of the conversation while you just facilitate the whole time. I really wish one of the more experienced guys would come in and back me up or you if I'm completely off track. There are way too many guys that come on this forum saying weird shit and that they get laid tons, then give advice without pictures of themselves or anything. Doesn't work.
Couple things for sure though.
-OP you need to improve your looks(Saying this in the least harsh way, you have a good face and you have potential. Get better photos and you're golden
-This PUA shit about rules of 80/20 and talking less about yourself seem super obscure.
Just think less rules more self improvement and screening.
@dashed and @q, I am going to come back to this, because what I am telling you comes from experience, not some PUA shit, nor armchair theory. I don't subscribe to PUA shit at all, but to what works, and why. "80/20 rule" is a generic statement, around many things in life, but there ARE areas you can employ this effectively on 'dates'.More later on this.
First, though, you both are preaching 'screening' to @tony, and that's perfectly fine. Does screening work? Of course, get blown or get blown out will screen for DTF women and off you go.
However, that's not what @tony is asking about, he has repeatedly said, he lacks experience, and not sure or comfortable with what to do, as well as he is setting up 'dates.' Can he work on his style, and online photos? Of course, and at the same time, if he is getting dates at all, he can work on what works their as well.
Since you are both are subscribed to Chris style and screening, let me use his words from:
(Why you are not getting laid on first dates. @Tony, there are things that apply to you in this post of his, but also things that may not yet, read it, but be aware of the disclaimers as you say you are inexperienced.)
Before we jump into this subject, I want to make something clear - If you are inexperienced - completely disregard the first part of this post Go out on as many dates as you can and try to go a little further with the girl each time. That's how "serial daters" (guys that have a top ~5% sex life but don't necessarily "pick up" girls) get nasty good AND If you are Getting Laid - you are GETTING LAID. Don't let any Internet-forum-stay-at-home-pickup-artist/analyst tell you that you need to be "more aggressive" or somehow having sex after going on 3-4 dates "doesn't count" or is "bad".
Although GoodLookingLoser.com is home to an aggressive Screening approach to GET LAID and not simply another community that discusses "meeting women" or "picking up girls", we tend to put too much importance on aggressiveness, speed and are way too quick dismiss girls as "asexual" or "only looking for a boyfriend" if they don't get down on the first night. Until you have at least 2 fuckbuddies, you should be open to going on dates with girls and try to go further with them each time. That is how I did it. But it's going to take you less time because I had to figure this subject out on my own.
Stop 'Screening Out' women that want to sleep with you - just not on the first night. When you have 2 regulars and a cell phone full of potential girls 'on call' - you can change your policy.
Now, when it comes to talking, what I am saying is from experience, my experience and success as well as others experience and success, with what Tony is talking about 'Dates' NOT screening. Here are some more well said statements on this from Blackdragon on how to completely screw up a first 'date'
4. He talks way too much. And there it is, the most common mistake men make by far. If you’ve been reading this blog you know that you need to SHUT UP on first dates and make sure she does at least 80% of the talking. But like most guys on dates, he just can’t control his big dumb mouth.
5. He talks about himself.
Not only should she be doing most of the talking, the conversation should be about her, not you. If you want to talk about you, wait until after you’ve had sex with her twice. Then she’ll enjoy talking about you. But not on a first date pre-sex.
6. He brags.
Having a slightly arrogant attitude is okay, perhaps even a plus. DHVing a little on a date is also okay. But bragging is not. You know the difference.
7. He doesn’t ask her any questions.
It goes back to the SHUT UP thing. Just about everything you say on a first date should be asking her questions, in order to keep her talking. The more she talks, the higher your odds of getting to sex. If you’re talking and not asking questions, that means she won’t be talking much. Bad.
This is not coming from a place of weakness, nor is it weird nor being a try hard clown, it is what works, and it's congruent with who you are still, and one of the easiest things to do as you gain experience, before you move to aggressive screening.
Now, if you want to pursue screening women, you should, and I encourage it, but if you are inexperienced and learning, then go on dates, and learn from experience also, as well as building on experience of others with what actually works and why, to get to sex as quickly as you can.
1 - 23 year old, one night stand from bar
1 - Gym buddy lay
7 - Lays from online dates, (4 First date lays, and them some repeated lays after)
1 - Night club long game
1 - 24 year old met through mutual friend
I think the first thing he needs is a reason to touch them. Here is an easy way to get past the first touch. Most woman were a ring or do there nails. Take her hand and tell her you like her ring or her nails. This gives you a reason to touch her hand and hold it. Once you get that far then you can move forward. Ask questions and let her respond. Thats the most important part. How ever it works out about which one of you talk more. Most woman want to talk about themselves. So ask!! I have been on dates where she did not speak much but thats not the norm. Oh and the ones that didnt speak much I still fucked.
@ Tony: bottomline, coffee-dates are horrible without killer logistics, but if you just need experience they're fine.
Dashedhopes is right, get better pictures.
If you want things to develop and you don't have killer logistics, have coffee to-go and take her for a walk in the park or whatever, beats the hell out of sitting opposite to eachother in a cafe. That or go for drinks instead and make sure to sit in the bar or on a couch.
As for the talking, if she's a talker then let her talk but always go into the date assuming that you'll have to lead the coversation to begin with so shit doesn't stall out and get akward within the first 5 min.
sounds like you aren't escalating or moving the interaction as a whole forward. Maybe once you've talked for a bit, move the interaction forward by saying lets go for a walk its beautiful out. On the walk "oh heres a park bench lets sit for a minute". *sit next to her* tease her, touch her. "Oh its getting hot out lets go back to my place for some water"*harmless*. "Oh heres my place." Oh we just happen to be on my bed now. "R u ticklesh??, oh you like to be tickled??" Next thing you know your dick's inside of her.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.