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31 year old virgin - it's about time!

TOPIC: 31 year old virgin - it's about time!

31 year old virgin - it's about time! 14 Aug 2020 15:41 #330781

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Yeah I'm impatient. I hate that online dating crap. I want to do "cold approach", that screening thing Chris talks about.
I hate going out alone to bars and clubs, loud environment, stupid dudes, I hate that crap.
I absolutely need to eliminate that fear of approaching women.
I have to do it. This drives me crazy really.

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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 14 Aug 2020 18:48 #330784

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Get cracking with the AA program if reducing the fear is your goal. Get to at least week 4. And as much of a pain as it is, spend an hour every night hitting up every single dating app. Just don't quit and you will get pussy eventually. Tried and tested!
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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 17 Aug 2020 11:22 #330818

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I read all the stories here, but somehow I find them hard to believe.
It's so far beyond my imagination that women want something other than a serious relationship.
I've just never experienced it in my 30 years, not in my life, not in anyone else's I know.
Maybe it is different in other countries.

It seems the only option to get laid for me, is to have a relationship. And that's not what I want, so no sex for me.
I wish I could bring myself to want a serious relationship, but something is clearly wrong with me.
All my friends have girlfriends, some have kids too. Maybe I should work on this issue before trying to get laid.

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Last edit: by hardcore.

31 year old virgin - it's about time! 17 Aug 2020 20:26 #330823

Cilindric is also from germany, he's ~40, and he's had some lays without being bf/gf.

So no excuses :P

That said, if you want to have a gf or prefer to believe that's your only option that's okay too.

EDIT: besides reading the stories on here, what have you tried in the past few days? Or, what will you accomplish this week?
Master Log
2019 1/1 CA lay; 5/5 online lays
2020: 180 -> 300 lb deadlift.
2021 Goals: graduate, travel, get laid.

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Last edit: by RogerRoger.

31 year old virgin - it's about time! 18 Aug 2020 15:07 #330835

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My plan this weekend is to go out and have a conversation with a random woman, who is not a bartender or works there
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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 18 Aug 2020 22:25 #330844

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Plenty of women want casual flings and ONSs. Often they are the same women who want serious relationships. Just at different times in their lives.

Most guys need to get a girlfriend to get laid. Because they have no other choice. Don't be one of those guys. And don't judge yourself for not wanting a serious relationship. To hell what your friends have and think. They aren't you. And you don't necessarily have the complete picture of what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe some of your friends are miserable! Do you even want kids at this point? 31 isn't old at all. As a fellow 31 year old I still consider it young. Maybe 35-40 is when you truly start to enter the 'older man category. Furthermore, you never know when you might start to want a serious relationship.

The issue you need to work on is getting laid. Then the whole relationship thing will sort itself out.
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Last edit: by Thebastard.

31 year old virgin - it's about time! 20 Aug 2020 09:00 #330863

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@Thebastard
Thanks for your posts. I'm currently reading your lay reports and logs and I have to say I'm impressed by your willpower and stamina. I would like to have 10% of it. I hope I can learn from you and others on this forum.

I hope with this thread I can keep myself accountable.

But I think I will quit online dating for now. It is not helping, it is making me miserable.
I will focus on real interactions with real women. The Pandemic isn't helping but that's
out of my control, so why bother.

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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 20 Aug 2020 16:28 #330867

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Will power is overrated my friend.

No matter what happens, your will power WILL run dry. On a daily basis.

You need something stronger than mere will power. You need a very strong pain point or motivation. Things changed for me not because of immense will power but because I was quite possibly going to die if I didn't make it so.

When you enter that mind-set, failure simply isn't an option. It can't be. Its life or death.
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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 20 Aug 2020 22:17 #330870

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I think I shouldn't focus to much on just the sex for now, Pickup and Porn really fucked me up over the years.
I think I need to shift my focus on having fun and enjoying the process.
As I said I don't have the willpower and stamina to do something that focuses purely on the end goal,
seeing the process to get there as pure work. Yes I have motivation, and yes I absolutely need a kick in my ass.

But I don't think that life or death thinking helps me. I don't think that's healthy.

Today I was at a bar. A group of girl were playing some card game. I thought about casually asking what they are playing and if I can play with them. I was close at doing it, I even sat down near them. But in the end I didn't do it. If I would have gone out with a buddy I probably would have asked. Well, at least I talked to the barkeeper and some drunk dude. I didn't drink alcohol today, that was good too.
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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 22 Aug 2020 14:13 #330884

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Whenever I go out in the evening I feel completely asexual. Hot girls dancing, I feel nothing. I wonder why that is?

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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 22 Aug 2020 16:49 #330887

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Get your hormonal panel checked asap. Testosterone, estradiol, shbg, free test, the lot and report back.
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31 year old virgin - it's about time! 23 Aug 2020 12:40 #330896

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Ok, so this weekend my goal was to talk to a random girl who is not working at the bar/club. Mission failed. I talked to bartenders and other dudes but no girl.

So... bar and club game is not for me either. I need a plan C.

I know I should do the AA program, but I cringe even thinking about it.

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Last edit: by hardcore.
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