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Hey everyone here, i finally figured how to post a topic lol, so i have been reading this forum for a while anonymously and it's useful.
so dear people here especially experienced guys my post will be long so i will try to seperate the paragraph lines.
i,m 23 yo, arab who lives in North Africa with his family and i got 0 experience with girls, so never get a girlfriend until now and i could define my problems so maybe you can suggest me things to do:
1)Yes looks matter a lot and PUAs is a scam and my problem was being extremly overweight:
so when i was 12 years old i was very fat 120 kg, everyone would mock me when i try to jog or when out to college/school, that made me have a very low self esteem, no girl even look at me and i was not the one who has an ugly face, yes my face was still acceptable and i got some compliments about my hair and get approached by some random girls at this age but my social anxiety and feeling down all the time made me miss to get a girlfriend during this college years, at age 17 every thing changed, i had lost that shitty body fat and get ripped to 8 % and i started to take care of my health a lot and i lifted weight at home, even though i didn't develop good muscle i had a new good shape, and really most girls would look at me all the time and send me signals to approach, i learned nowadays that PUAs shit doesn't work and someone needs to be above average like chris said, so i got girls sometimes eye fucking me and i also couldn't do anything about it until this day, so what is my second problem?
2) It's that i was very relegious man
i know it's preferably not to talk about relegion here but anyway i,m muslim and i was very relegious that i couldn't not stare at girls, no handshakes, reject all handshakes and touches that girls believed i don't like women, with time i become seeing women as like they are in another planet, so my libido increased at the age 17 when i lost my body fat and i choosed to watch p*** and masturbate instead of talking to girls, this was until age 20 when i stopped watching so yes it has been 3 years now and reduced masturbation as much i can, i also see women become very attractive in my eyes when i have quit this bad habit for a while, but still i went to university and most girls there gave me warm approaches and i didn't react to any, so i lost all of my years without pussy, i also after discovering health my criteria in a woman become high that she must be with an hourglass figure and i didn't lower my standard, i couldn't change myself, my subconscious brain gets programmed very well with my relegious habit so i still see women and can't do anything, i had asked you 4 girls in my life and being rejected of course and wasted time reading about PUAs shit tests rejection before discovering this website..
so i want to program my subconscious brain that talking to women is not a crime, touching them is not a crime, i get ashamed of hiding my sex drive and this doesn't give me no results with girls, combine it with my latest problem which is:
3) strabismus ( crossed eye)
yes i,m a cross eyed person since age 5, i had exotropia all my life and that lowered my self esteem, it was very painful to look at people in the eye and they ask me at who are you looking?
so i also look down in public and closed body language
this year i dscovered eye exercice called pencil push ups and i fixed my eye (80% success) so now after fixing most of my self image problem i can now talk to women and feel their beauty and i feel a great power i think because i suffered from strabismus from all of my life and bad emotions resulted from it, it's like a new world to me.
my country is conservative, so night stands are out, screening in public = jail , muslim country but girls are open to relationships and flirt, some wear hijab and some not, you can see a women with tight dress and makeup and uncovered hair and still she prays and read the book, girls here meet guys through social circles, cold approach is very rare, strippers are not allowed and some guys pay for sex so ~5 % of finding nightstands and uncommited relationships, i had tried cold approach before but no results, i would really like to ask you about if i look like a player girls will reject me? because most girls here marry ugly-average looking guys and they are more loyal than girls in western countries.
i,m not interested in screening, i don't go to party or nightclubs because i don't do drugs and drink, i also live with my family which don't accept anything except marriage and can't bring a girl home because mother is also there and don't accept.
i just talk about my future plans, i want to get free of my existing believes (subconscious thoughts) because i remember i will be in hell if i respond to a warm approach from girl and trying to get sex with her before marriage if she becomes my girlfriend and because she is not meeting my standards i don't respond to the signals and go
it's really painful and hurt me inside, i want to change, i don't have friends, i missed a lot of opportunities with many hot girls just because of my subconscious thoughts that didn't let me leave my comfort zone.
i can use nervous guy game like chris suggested, so do you think the AA program is good to try anyway?
i also want to start approaching in summer because i,m more into seeing women 's feet...
if i have the looks, do you think if i become a male model that will help me socialize and building a social circles?
i spend a lot of times in the internet reading about health and female psychology but i think this is a mind masturbation, i just don't want to use my computer this summer and commit to one girl which is finding a girlfriend,
PS: bad boy image don't work in my country but girls are not relegious that much ( just the basics like praying reading book, fasting, no sex before marriage, no drink but some drink in clubs)
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