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Precursor: I've only been to a bar once and i can probably count on my fingers how many beers I've had in my lifetime. It was all very new to me, the atmosphere, drinks, and of course, meeting up with girls;
How it went:
It was at a bar, she was there first and i had just gotten there. We've been texting for the past week or two to meetup and weren't able to workout a day but today out of the blue she texted me: "What are you doing tonight"? I had a bit of nervous excitement in me prior to showing up. When i finally showed up and saw her waiting there, she waved at me, she seemed a bit bored. Anyways, i didn't really touch her at all, was too afraid to do so, i just sat up front at the bar besides her and ordered a beer, we talked about our college life and what not, it went on for an hour. There were awkward moments here and there but overall i think i was too stifled. I couldn't loosen up and free flow and my voice fell flat, i couldn't project it, i felt weak. Even after the beer. I wasn't really that nervous [took phenibut prior] i just didn't know what to do, what to say, etc. So i just kept conversing about random BS, i was able to hold a conversation tho. I read in rooster's guide that i had to touch her somehow but idk i just couldn't find a way to do it. I kind of tapped her shoulder here and there and then tried to see her wristband and touch her wrist...didn't really do much...was too afraid to do so.
Anyways, 1 hour later i didn't know what to do it, logically seemed to split ways, say goodbye, so i just said "hey i've gonna have to head back now..." she was like "ok that's cool".....One thing: I ended up paying $10 for that beer LOL they had a $10 minimum and i didn't have cash (used my card) and the bitch bartender charged me $10. >: | Honestly lol... But anyways we walked out after i paid and we walked together to my car and i dropped her off at her dorm. Through the ride it was the same vibe...a bit too quite and a little awkward there wasn't any excitement at all, i think i built some rapport though. I don't think i connected with her all that well, it just all sort of felt "flat". We just talked a bit more, made a few jokes here and there and she laughed here and there. I'm gonna wait a couple days before texting her again, to see if she still wants to meetup. I did find her attractive.
Overall, it was my first date ever, i'm glad i gathered my balls and went out and did it...i'm gonna keep setting up dates and eventually i know i'll lose the v-card.
Push your comfort zone and invite the girl back to your place to have another drink/watch a movie.
You might actually find that easier than touching her. 45 min to 1 hour into the date invite her over your place. There's no harm in doing it! If that's enough to permanently scare her off, then the relationship wasn't gonna go anywhere regardless.
Even if it comes out awkward as fuck, just do it.
Many times I've clumsily invited a girl home and gotten a yes. You really never know unless you ask.
Also don't worry about it if you show up and the girl looks bored. They go on so many dates it DOES become boring for them. It's a good sign if she seems excited to see you, but don't stress if she seems neutral
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
Congrats, my man. Dating is super fun. Learn to have fun with it first and foremost. You've been on the forum long enough to know what to do and when to do it (continue reading logs)...it's just a matter of going on enough dates before you start doing it (exposure)...
I would say your "goal" should be to enjoy dating and the company of the girls...everything else will fall into place. This shit is not complicated...it requires effort...might as well have fun learning
PM your phone number if you'd like to be added to the NYC GLL Whatsapp group.
Remember, your goal is to push YOUR comfort zone each time, not to be OUTCOME DEPENDANT. Meaning, if your goal is to touch her leg/shoulder/earings/hair, that's YOUR goal; if she gets weirded out, THAT DOESN"T MATTER: You've achieved your goal.
If your goal is to invite her back to your place for another drink, do it, doesn't matter if she says no/yes. Just keep doing the next step.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.