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"funny thing is that I live in Melbourne and this city probably has the highest amount of active GLL posters at this point of time..

but I have nothing to contribute to these guys so why would they take time out of their busy schedules to hang out with me and suffer the awkwardness of being around me?"

I'd meet you tomorrow if you dropped the ego.

Right now you have such a big ego, you're just pretending you dont. By ego I mean you think you're special. You think you're unique. You think you're so different, your problems so unique, that nobody can help you. Terminator keeps giving you advice that WORKS, and has worked for others, but you keep saying "yeah but im more fucked up than everyone else".

Nah. You just have an insanely huge ego.

You need to surrender, to give in to the idea that you can fix all this. Others have done it so why not you.

Again, ill happily meet you and help you. But I can't help someone who literally doesnt want help, and takes pride in his own "loserness".

Heya Delts,

Can you please elaborate specifically into technically a virgin? Also bro, can you help me understand where the source of your hatred and anger comes from?

I had a really shit and angry past. My lowest point was when I started hating myself for every time I thought about women/sex; not because it was wrong, but because I couldn't get any, therefore 'I shall hate it with all my passion' - kind of like rebelling against women/sex. Anyone who even talked about sex or relationships, I'd immediately rebut in a very vicious way stating it was the biggest waste of energy and time in the world, bashing it for being unproductive, and just in general stupid.

I remember one day some person was handing out condoms, and I took it, threw it back in her face, and told her to stop encouraging people to waste their time/energy. I even went as far as to hope that some girl would approach me/like me, just so I can go tell her she's the biggest piece of shit on earth and to go kill herself. There were nights I'd stay up to 4 am just planning how good I was gonna break a girl mentally if I had the chance, and just to unload all my years of anger, sorrow, regret, self-loath, and other negative emotions - essentially vengeance on one poor innocent girl, for my shortcomings.

It feels like you're investing your energy into the wrong sources Delts. I truly believe you have the ability to be super successful, and it will only take a little tweak of how you invest your energy/where you invest it.

The other question I have for you delts is why would you even try to get pas the hatred of it, if you're not motivated to get past the hatred of it? What is it that you want from us? Do you want sympathy? Pity? Us to say, yeah fucking women are stupid and should just come to you begging to suck your dick? Yeah fuck this feminist society? Yeah life is unfair?

Look deep inside yourself bro, and be REALLY honest with us. If you truly want help, you have to be open mind and open arms, otherwise we'll just end up going around in circles, continuing this vicious cycle of hate, self-loath, helplesness, hopelessness, etc. etc.

Deltsbrah wrote:

Terminator wrote:
Generalization. Besides if a woman can't attract a confident/good looking mate then they will be happy to receive you (= lower your standards). Note I'm not calling you a retard or ugly, I'm just attacking your claim.

hmm this reminds me of something my best friend in college told me years ago..I must have been about 24 at the time and was talking about how i've never been with a girl and he said that's because you have nothing to offer a female. I'm not interesting or fun to be around, I don't have any social status and I look like shit.
This guy is probably the only person who knowns me the best since we were roomates/friends for a very long time in college (he actually moved to Melbourne as well so I still meet him from time to time lol)

So why would even a socially awkward girl ever even want to be around me? unless i actually pay for their time?

Because they wanted to be around me.

You would also do wisely to remember that being an interesting person, looking like shit and social status are all things you can improve upon. Not only that, but you don't even have to talk to a single chick to start improving them today! You should be motivated by a statement like that, because now you know what to work on in order to bang bitches. Look at the solution instead of the problem.

Deltsbrah wrote:

Terminator wrote: The only way to become non-embarrassed is to force yourself to act in spite of your embarrassment (=exposure therapy).

You're not unique. This shit works for anyone.

yeah i've seen it work for other people but the problem with me is every time i try the backlash is so severe i go into depression for days. I end up hating myself even more for feeling like that and the cycle continues.. its like a cycle of negativity.. only way i can stop it is to try and not do anything about it.. that's why i play video games, waste time on the internet etc. for hours per day.. tbh i dont even like gaming that much anymore but it makes me forget.

Isn't it scary that your mind wants to keep you miserable like this? You're constructing all sorts of obstacles to your progress by obeying the voice of depression and these other negative feelings. Even when I am telling you the truth and how to solve all your problems, you're thinking of reasons to refute me. Tell your feelings to go fuck themselves, because this is an argument you can't win. I can do this all day long because I'm right about you

Shanghai_Bobby wrote: I remember one day some person was handing out condoms, and I took it, threw it back in her face, and told her to stop encouraging people to waste their time/energy. I even went as far as to hope that some girl would approach me/like me, just so I can go tell her she's the biggest piece of shit on earth and to go kill herself.

That is hilarious I can identify.

Terminator wrote:

Shanghai_Bobby wrote: I remember one day some person was handing out condoms, and I took it, threw it back in her face, and told her to stop encouraging people to waste their time/energy. I even went as far as to hope that some girl would approach me/like me, just so I can go tell her she's the biggest piece of shit on earth and to go kill herself.

That is hilarious I can identify.

Haha I can't believe this shit has been going on for like 3 years, although you've def made some progress. Just fucking commit already, listen to the 1000 people here who say it's worth it.

1) Do your cut. You've clearly been successful at the gym though so that should be mostly on autopilot.
2) Put together ONE stylish/edgy outfit that you can wear during the day and at night. It will take a bit of trial and error but multiple people here can make sure you get it right.
3) Read the tinder seduction guide on how to take good tinder pictures and fucking do it. This involves no interaction with humans and depends entirely on you.

Once that's handled (3-5 weeks) or even faster cause you have a lot of time, then you'll be set to start the approach anxiety program while messaging girls on tinder at the same time. If you take good pictures, whatever your delusions are of your ugliness or whatever, I guarantee you that you will get a decent number of matches. Sure, esp once you start the approach anxiety program, the first few weeks will be much more uncomfortable than the comfortable misery that you are in now but so fucking what. Do it.

Damn 3 years? Delts, are you serious or are you seriously trolling? It feels like the latter

I've read a few logs of guys losing their virginity early to mid 20's at the oldest so any one actually been able to deal with years of built up hate, anger, frustration and self loathing that comes from being a virgin?
I'm over 30 years old and still technically a virgin so I'm not sure if this even possible at this point.
I've come to the point in my life where even stepping outside of my house and seeing women or worse couples (usually the guy will look like dogshit 8 times out of 10) triggers (sorry i dont know any better word but its funny being triggered like SJWs,feminists etc) my anger and depression and my mind spirals out of control in a train of negative and self hating thought.

Don't feel like I have anything to live for anymore either. just living day to day on auto pilot. I've noticed i dont even check for traffic sometimes when I cross the street, subconsciously hoping i get hit by a car and it's all over. Even started smoking again because I honestly don't care if i get cancer, i will just ignore it until it gets fatal and they can finally put me down.

On the other hand my rage and frustratiuon does help me workout.. i've made a lot of gain in the last few years at the gym because when I lift I go into a very dark place of anger remembering what I am and just throw all of that at the iron.. probably why i blew 5 discs in my back few months ago but whatever.

I see all the guys here trying to help you out and wondering why they can't get through to you. Not everything can be solved by the gym, changing outfits, or "changing your mind".

All this "just fucking do it, bro" advice will not work for you.

If you are over 30 years old and in this situation, homeostasis has kicked in full time.
The neural pathways in your brain have changed and this is the way you are.

Can you change? YES, you can-but no one on this forum can help you.

I remember when you responded to my post last year wondering why anyone would want to quit porn.

Bro- you are a virgin over 30, porn is your "sex life" and you have no idea how to motivate yourself to change your life.

I recommend intensive therapy for a couple of months, coupled with a solid approach anxiety program.

For the record, ChrisGLL's AA program is based on CBT- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with exposure therapy.

Find a therapist who specializes in Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy and get your deep issues handled.

Deltsbrah,

I'm starting to think that you are just trolling us...

You just need to stop all this mental masturbation stuff.

You need to stop theorizing all this crap and grow some balls and go talk to some damn girls if you really wanted to get laid. It's really that simple.

Shanghai_Bobby wrote: Heya Delts,

Can you please elaborate specifically into technically a virgin? Also bro, can you help me understand where the source of your hatred and anger comes from?.

I say technically a virgin because I've been with escorts.

When i say anger i just mean that i hate myself. also somewhat resentful at my parents particularly my mother because my father is a lost cause at this point (i cut all contact with him on Jan 2016). And the source should be obvious from my post: being a virgin, having no friends or any social contacts what so ever. only person in my life is my mother and i've stopped talking to her as well (apart from texting) because i can't contain my resentment towards her. she has done pretty much everything right when it came to providing a safe childhood and in paying for everything especially my education, but i can't let go of the fact that she isolated me socially to a massive degree. this is compounded by the fact that she's a MD, a pediatrician at that (i.e. a doc who works with kids), i know for a fact she knows child psychology and developmental psychology but she completely ignored it in her only child. wtf

Shanghai_Bobby wrote: I had a really shit and angry past. My lowest point was when I started hating myself for every time I thought about women/sex; not because it was wrong, but because I couldn't get any, therefore 'I shall hate it with all my passion' - kind of like rebelling against women/sex. Anyone who even talked about sex or relationships, I'd immediately rebut in a very vicious way stating it was the biggest waste of energy and time in the world, bashing it for being unproductive, and just in general stupid.

I remember one day some person was handing out condoms, and I took it, threw it back in her face, and told her to stop encouraging people to waste their time/energy. I even went as far as to hope that some girl would approach me/like me, just so I can go tell her she's the biggest piece of shit on earth and to go kill herself. There were nights I'd stay up to 4 am just planning how good I was gonna break a girl mentally if I had the chance, and just to unload all my years of anger, sorrow, regret, self-loath, and other negative emotions - essentially vengeance on one poor innocent girl, for my shortcomings.

lol'd hard. I can relate even though I've never thrown condoms at people.. you really remind me of that video i linked before called threw it on the ground.

But yeah when I was younger and in college/grad school i'd sometimes reach a point where i'd flip out. usually this was in my apartment so no one was hurt. i'd just trash the place, once i threw a radiator at the computer screen. threw my cigarette lighter at the wall once and it actually exploded (never expected it to explode) and almost set the place on fire. one time when i was in my mum's car i punched the dash until my knuckles were bloody (but they didnt break tho)

One time though i lost it at a CVS pharmacy. it was more to do with being isolated and feeling ostracized by everyone. When i was in college i would go for weeks and weeks with no human contact. especially from 2009-2012 period where i was living alone i'd just go from apartment to library to class to gym, then repeat that cycle over weeks. Anyways i took out my anger on the girl working at the counter because she said she couldn't give me cough syrup without ID. I ran back home in a rage, thrashed my apartment then grabbed my ID hopped in my car and sped over there again. I caused a scene there and was basically looking for a fight but no one tried to fight me. looking back i was lucky not have gotten arrested or gotten into a car crash..

As I aged I've calmed down though.. Even when on large of amounts of testosterone I havent flipped out hardcore in awhile. I guess I'm kind of come to accept my fate and am resigned to it?

Shanghai_Bobby wrote: It feels like you're investing your energy into the wrong sources Delts. I truly believe you have the ability to be super successful, and it will only take a little tweak of how you invest your energy/where you invest it.

The other question I have for you delts is why would you even try to get pas the hatred of it, if you're not motivated to get past the hatred of it? What is it that you want from us? Do you want sympathy? Pity? Us to say, yeah fucking women are stupid and should just come to you begging to suck your dick? Yeah fuck this feminist society? Yeah life is unfair?

Look deep inside yourself bro, and be REALLY honest with us. If you truly want help, you have to be open mind and open arms, otherwise we'll just end up going around in circles, continuing this vicious cycle of hate, self-loath, helplesness, hopelessness, etc. etc.

I thought I made it clear in the title/OP. how do u get past the self loathing that you find yourself at this point?
You seem to have gone through something very similar but you didn't mention how you got past it.

QuitPornGetGirls wrote:
Can you change? YES, you can-but no one on this forum can help you.

I remember when you responded to my post last year wondering why anyone would want to quit porn.

Bro- you are a virgin over 30, porn is your "sex life" and you have no idea how to motivate yourself to change your life.

I recommend intensive therapy for a couple of months, coupled with a solid approach anxiety program.

For the record, ChrisGLL's AA program is based on CBT- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with exposure therapy.

Find a therapist who specializes in Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy and get your deep issues handled.

I went to therapy last year. I wrote about it extensively in my log here too. Wasn't too impressed. The doctor just put me on SSRI's (Sertraline aka Zoloft to be specific) and referred me to a psychologist for weekly sessions.
The psychologist just made small talk with me, didn't even go into much detail on anything. Completely ignored the fact that I was a virgin (prior to the sessions they took my history and one of the questions was how old was I when I had my first girlfriend and i said I've never had one). never brought it up, never spoke about it.
being that im embarrassed and shy af to talk about sex stuff offline i never pushed the issue apart from once and he didn't seem keen to talk about it.
Eventually i had to move and i expected him to refer me to someone closer to my new place but he just cut off the sessions.

Thing is I live in australia now so stuff is different here with the socialized medicine (medicare). I don't know if u can just go find someone specific without a GP referral and have it covered.
Also i am aware of CBT. I've done a bit of psych in college and ofc I've read up on it trying to finx my issues. I was hoping the therapist would suggest something but nope.

So far the experience I've had with therapists is that they just talk to you they don't offer any advice or treatment (apart from the drugs). I went to a psych counselor at college in the US in 2008 (I was 23 then)

Also concerning porn, the funny thing is I never masturbated to porn until I was 26years old.. I know it sounds unimaginable but that's the truth.