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Deltsbrah, let me share my experience, which other guys I’ve talked to also had. Hopefully it will help get you some motivation.
In high school, the first time I got any solid sexual contact was when I was with my girlfriend and she agreed to give me head. When she agreed I got so excited and thought, “this is gonna feel so good!” When she started, I was completely underwhelmed. I don’t think I came that time. I remember thinking there just wasn’t much sensation, it wasn’t nearly as pleasurable as when I jerked off. She said the same thing about me eating her out: wasn’t that awesome the first couple off times.
But we kept doing it, every weekend. Eventually I started to enjoy her giving me head a lot, and I started coming (she would swallow). One memory that really sticks out in my mind (this was ten years ago) is when she was sucking my dick and the ridge of my head was going in and out of her mouth. That was the most intensely awesome sexual pleasure I’ve ever felt to this day, and the orgasms I would get from her giving me head are the most intense ones I’ve ever experienced.
Again, she had the same experience. After a handful of times she told me eating her out was so insanely pleasurable she’d think about it all the time whenever we were hanging out.
And that’s because I’ve only had sex three times. Same thing happened when I lost my virginity. The girl grabbed my dick and stuck it in her pussy, and I didn’t even realize it was in there until a few seconds later. I didn’t get much sensation from it. But each time I’ve had sex it gets a little better. The last time I fucked a girl (back in June) I remember it feeling really awesome when we sort of “accidentally” fucked for a few seconds without a condom.
Beyond that, the sexual pleasure is really only part of it. With jerking off, and I assume with hookers too (which I see as just a variation of porn + jerking), the sexual pleasure is the only part. But when you’re with a girl who is really into you, there’s a whole other aspect to it, which is making her come. I loved eating out my girlfriend in high school because she would fucking freak out, like convulsions, grabbing my hair, rocking her hips back and forth against my tongue, and I would feel her PC muscle start quivering when she orgasmed. Fingering her was pretty fun too because she would get so into it, shaking and panting and grabbing me (another memory that sticks out is when I was pleasuring her she would often say, "that feels awesome!"). The one time we weren’t in one of our parents’ houses (we were in my car out in the middle of nowhere), she was screaming at the top of her lungs while I fingered her.
If you haven’t experienced that you have no idea how fun it is. That honestly is my favorite part of hooking up with girls. If I had to choose between only me coming or her coming, I would choose her. Obviously I’d prefer both but given that choice it’s clear. Again with the last girl I fucked, the most memorable part was when I was on top of her fucking her as hard as I could and she was screaming, “oh my God I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, I’m coming I’m coming!!” (roommates all definitely heard it, we laughed about it the next day).
This even plays into how good masturbation is. Hands down best jerkin’ session I’ve ever had was right after the hot as fuck girl I lost my virginity to came over to my place and we cuddled and made out and groped each other for like an hour (I later realized she ended it a couple days later because she almost definitely wanted me to take her to my room and fuck her brains out). That made me so horny I came harder than I had since I had been with my HS girlfriend years before. Just that experience of being with a girl who was into me made jerking off so much better.
From what I know you’ve never fucked a girl who really wanted you. But even the first time you’ll probably think, “meh”. It takes a few times. It gets better every time, as you separate what it feels like from your expectations. I think we assume sexual contact with girls will be “like jerking off but better”, but it’s not. It’s totally different. So it’s kind of disappointing at first, but then your expectations get out of the way and you eventually realize it’s way better than jerking off. Like, ten times better, seriously. I don’t have any experience with hookers, but given what I said above about the best jerking session I’ve had, I can imagine it’s just not the same.
Don’t make excuses Deltsbrah. Get out there and get some. Consensual sex based on mutual attraction has the reputation of being the single most awesome human experience for a damn good reason.
Deltsbrah, you know there's a secret part of you that's curious what it would be like to not hate women and be able to enjoy them Nobody cares if you don't wanna have contact with women but you. But when you choose you wanna give it a shot, we will be here to help you.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
But I wonder why do you hate women? If you didn't care about having sex with them I would think your attitude toward them would be indifference. Do you not hate women because you feel sexually rejected by them?
They have no grasp of the situation plus as a well educated engineer I can pretty much figure out what they are trying to say and I have more insight into the matter myself.
Ahh. So the therapists haven't helped because you are un-coachable. You believe you are the expert in the room so you won't listen to them (not sure why you think being an engineer gives you insight into psychology, or especially that it could allow you to see your own blind spots). I had a pretty good experience with a therapist in college. I did not presume to be better at her job than she was, and she ended up helping me quite a bit.
As for living my life its not hard.
Then why did you go into therapy?
I dislike way more than 50% of the population.. its not like i consider all males to be worthy of my attention either. most are low grade imbeciles.
What makes you higher grade? What's with the arrogance? What are you defending yourself against by acting so high and mighty?
I'm just explaining myself
The Captain Obvious question being... why?
Why would I be a clown for ANY bitch and beg for sex when i look like this through a decade of hard work, experimentation and discipline? Most females look like utter dog shit and only look good because of genetics, hair and makeup.
Hmm, interesting. Further down you claim you simply aren't sexually attracted to women. Yet here you seem to be saying you feel degraded at the act of pursuing women sexually. Well, those are different. Do you refuse to approach women because you believe you are too good to do so, or do you refuse simply because it does not interest you at all? I would find it incredibly coincidental that you happened to harbor both feelings independently.
I've never been rejected. Can't get rejected if you never even talk to them lmao!
I didn't say "rejected", I said "feel rejected", which does not require talking to anyone. Forgive me for being presumptuous but this almost sounds like you are trying to protect yourself from the possibility of rejection... which was sort of my whole point. I would ask again, since you claim you simply don't find women sexually attractive, why do you hate them, rather than just being indifferent to them? Even though you said you also hate a lot of men, you bring up your hatred of women much more often, so it seems you at least hate them more than men. But why? If there's no sexual tension why put the effort into such strong emotions?
yeah I realize I'm not a normal case.
I'll be frank. I don't believe you. I find it much easier to believe you did feel attraction to women but immediately fought it and made yourself believe you weren't so that women wouldn't have any power over you. I developed a sense of inferiority with respect to women at a very early age (somewhere in elementary school) which encouraged me to act like I simply wasn't interested in girls (that way, see above, I couldn't possibly get rejected). That, I don't think is as abnormal as one would think, and, being an engineer just like you (I also have a degree in a hard science), I exhaust every plausible explanation of something I can before entertaining the possibility of uniqueness. Nature tends to follow patterns, you are most likely a human and not some sort of asexually reproducing humanoid alien, and everything you have said here is much more easily explainable as a form of insecurity-driven repression of sexuality.
Not that I think you'd care what my hypothesis is... I'm just explaining myself
Deltabrah, you are really the most successful troll I ever seen in my life. If you could switch your narcissistic and misogynistic lifestyle to desire to talk and hookup with girls, you would be a pickup legend like Scotty or Chris.
sweatervest wrote: But I wonder why do you hate women? If you didn't care about having sex with them I would think your attitude toward them would be indifference. Do you not hate women because you feel sexually rejected by them?
I can't speak for deltsbrah but I used to hate women and parts of his thought process sound familiar. My reason was that I felt that women were the only ones anyone gave a shit about, that the whole world had rejected me while showering women with praise for nothing. They were "beautiful", "smart" and "brave" (especially if they were actually none of those things.) Hell, Oprah, Katy Perry, and Meghan Trainor built their entire careers on that crap. And I grew up around some shitty unpleasable women so that didn't help either. Anyway, after ~10 years of being foreveralone and bouncing around every corner of the Manosphere (except Blocked by administrator thank god) I ended up here, met another GLL user irl, started dating and cold approaching and...turns out women (and the world) aren't that hostile. Seems like even some of the feminists and SJWs are ok, unless they're just hiding the crazy on the first date.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is resentment of women comes from a lot more than just sexual frustration. It's easy to look around and feel like your life has no value except for what women can get out of you. At the risk of sounding ungrateful, there's days I still wonder why none of the women I've dated act like TRP said they would...I mean, we're all driven by perverse incentives aren't we?
Virgin until 29
Lifetime lays: 6 (All lays thanks to GLL!)
2017 goal: improve looks
*teeth whitening and cosmetic dentistry (90% done)
*new clothes after that, including a leather jacket
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.