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Hey, I really like your thread. It's a great idea. I might make a date thread as well.
If I were you, I would kiss every girl at the end of every date. This is super important if you want to get laid. Making a move is literally THE most important thing if you want to get laid. You need the experience with making a move to. How are you supposed to have sex with a girl if you don't make a move?
Date #3 could've been a lay. It sounds like it would've been if you would've made a move. You literally have no clue if a girl likes you or not. Ive been on 100+ dates, and I've banged 26 girls I think from dates and I still don't know how a girl is feeling about me. You need to make a move (kiss her) or invite her back to your place and then kiss her.
Rousseau, you're right on the money, that's the next goal, get the first kiss. I had the chance tonight but honestly, I was too much of a pussy, I couldn't do it. She was a really good looking girl and the conversation was good too, towards the end I had the perfect shot but I just couldn't do it, I wasn't mentally ready to do it.
I can't believe I was once afraid to hug a girl, I hugged at the beginning and end, it's basically not much different than a handshake but hugging her at the end didn't feel like it was enough, felt like there should have been something more.
Next time I won't be content with hugs, on the next date, I'll get the hug right when I meet her and then go for the kiss at the end assuming there weren't any problems with the interaction.
I feel kind of shitty not having gone for the kiss but I'm hoping I'll figure this out with practice. I have it in my mind now that that's the goal.
This was the 2nd date with the girl from date #4. We went bowling which turned out to be a great choice. I have to admit, I was getting nervous as I was waiting for her and was still a little nervous in the beginning.
At the end, I kind of messed up. As I was walking her back to her car, I knew I wanted to go in for the kiss but I just didn't know how to initiate it. I hugged her and then looked at her again and she said "good night" and I quickly replied "good night."
I went home feeling like shit, I started looking back at our conversations and started to wonder "was I too serious? Did I say something that pissed her off?" I wasn't sure where I went wrong but i wasn't going to give up.
Then she texted me and said we should have gone for a walk so she'd have the courage for a kiss. Turns out we're on the same page (she wanted me to kiss her) and now I have the third date set for this upcoming Wednesday.
My game plan for the third date - this could be the one!
At the moment we agreed to watch a movie, she's asked me before about what my roommates are like on the last date and on day one she told me that although she has her own place, her ex is still there (btw, this is kind of a wtf isn't it?).
I've planned this out right to the end though. It seems highly likely that there's going to be some heavy making out the next time we meet and I felt like I needed to have some plan on what to do after that.
If I've learned anything from my failures with women so far, it's that you have to be prepared when the opportunity presents itself.
So I've rented out a one night stay at a cozy place in town (live with my parents so my place is not an option). Any thoughts on this? Since we already agreed to movies, I need to talk her out of that and get her to come to my place instead. I think the movies will kill my chance of banging her and put me more into the "friend" territory.
Should I invite her back to this place once I've seen her in person (on the next date) or before then over text?
Invite to your house over text. Or call. Either way I can tell you're very awkward and anxious avout this but just allow yourself to be uncomfortable. Allow yourself to be clumsy. Ask anyone who has banged scores of girls and I bet their first time was awkward. Hell if I actually really like a chick I get super nervous before a phone call and its only experience that allows me to hide that. For me I find starting every conversation on the phone with a short pause of ~2 seconds then saying my most enthusiastic "Hello!" Works really well. Girls always giggle but it makes them feel a little nervous too because of the pause, so then they're the one thinking "what should I say??"
You're dead right on being prepared.
Living with the ex is normal, rent is expensive and leases last a while.
It's been a while since I updated this. Long story short, I haven't lost it yet. Reasons are mostly irrelevant. All that matters is that I'm not giving up.
I see value in keeping this journal since I think it helps me get the most experience/understanding out of every date.
This girl was actually pretty good looking. Starbucks as usual but it was too cold for a walk so we just talked.
- 70/30 conversation ratio, she did most of the talking
- Went for the hug in the beginning/end without much hesitation
- I ended it before it got boring/awkward
- Again, no kiss! It just didn't seem natural! Why???
In the future, I realize now that the final hug part should be done once we're back at her car. One reason why it felt unnatural to kiss her at the end was cause we parted ways right at the entrance of Starbucks, so perhaps we should part ways once we're back at her car, or maybe mine? Maybe it's better if I lead her back to my car? I think this may work better.
Improvements for next date:
- At the end, walk the girl back to my car and THEN go for the kiss. She's already following my lead at that point so it should be easier.
- Have a thumb war during the date so that there's some physical contact
This chick wasn't really all that good looking (kind of fat). I barely found her attractive but she showed a high level of interest in me so I went for it. I arrived late and just kind of went through the motion. At the end I just wanted to go home. She was the one to initiate the hug in the end so that was new. She said she'd like to hang out again.
Also, no kiss. Honestly part of it is that I'm at a new location almost every time and can never quite tell when it's going to end. I though t'd walk with her back to her car but her car was just right in front of the store and so our walk ended sooner than I expected.
Not sure if I'll meet her again. She wants to go to the shooting range next time. As much as I'd love to do that, it's expensive and time consuming. Not really too sure if it's worth investing more time with her.
Rebel hit it. The kiss should happen during the date. This isn't a movie.
Just two tips for you:
1. Where are you sitting? If you're across the table, you're interviewing them for a job. Sit next to them. If they're comfortable holding long eye contact touch their neck, if they don't move away kiss.
2. Why are you going to new places all the time? You need a steady routine to start to get comfortable until you're already pimping. Do the exact same date until it starts pulling.
Before this date I spent a good amount of time thinking about what I would say in case the conversation got dull, here's what I came up with, open to feedback.
Topics that will allow her to talk about herself:
- Her work - what her job is like on a day to day basis
- Her education - where she went to school
- Her family - how many brothers/sisters
- Her physical activities - if she goes to the gym, what her workouts are like, etc.
- Thumb wrestling - this is some pua stuff I read a long time ago but it does seem to work, just come up with an excuse to start a thumb war, if you can't think of anything just say she looks like a girl in grade school who would always beat you at the game
Topics about myself
- Gym - just talk about how my workouts are going, I have a pretty average body but this type of thing is something most people can relate to.
I'd be open to ideas on more interesting subjects to talk about.
After writing this out, I see the problem is that these are all the type of things you'd talk about with a friend. Perhaps I need to work on how to have conversations that will build attraction.
Maybe, a conversation that builds attraction is entirely different from one that builds a friendship. Any thoughts on this?
This was the smart/nerdy conservative type.
We met at a Starbucks but I made sure I would first meet her outside so I could go for the hug right at the beginning. For some reason, hugging a stranger the first time you meet them feels less awkward if you do it outside. With that said, she did not reciprocate and it ended up being an awkward one handed hug. This happened at the beginning and at the end.
I did the thumb war routine and she really wasn't into it. She didn't seem that interested in the conversation either and towards the end even pulled out her phone and started texting her friend.
She did initiate contact with me the following day and said how I should go out on new years night. She was already going out with some friends though and I didn't really get the sense that I was invited.
I don't think I'll ask her for a 2nd date.
Also I've been using pof so far and at this point it's basically saturated. I've literally contacted just about every user on there and the only users I come across now are people who are new to the site and these type of users are even more flaky.
I just registered on match.com and regret it. It looks like the girls who don't make it on pof because they're too ugly / picky will go to match or okcupid.
I'll continue to use pof but if I rely just on that then I'll be waiting months. I've contacted nearly every user on the site and only landed 7 dates.
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