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So I had some recent insight that I wanted to share.
1-2 years ago girls started referring to me as "cute". I hardly EVER got unsolicited compliments before that. I'd been improving my body and style, but still had a ways to go.
This year, I started getting "hot" and "beautiful" from the same chicks. That was how I knew I made it.
When you're about a 6 or 7 out of 10, you will occasionally get girls telling you you're cute.
When you hit 8 out of 10, you're gonna start getting more hardcore compliments like "sexy" and "hot". Give yourself a pat on the back when this happens, because life is going to be a lot easier for you now.
When you hit "hot", things get a LOT easier. You don't have to work nearly as hard. 6's and 7's have to put in some major work to have a top 5% sex life, but once you're sexy, you can kick back and reduce the amount of time you spend hitting on chicks.
In my first year of doing this stuff, I had to bust my fucking ass to get laid. In my second year, I had to bust my ass 2/3 as hard. THIS year, I don't have to do jack shit. I can lazily do online dating and get laid. I can hit on a few girls a week and get laid. Bars are still tricky because they're all about logistics, but I haven't really gone out much lately so I don't know for sure.
A lot of guys are completely deluded about how attractive they are. Most guys think "I'm a 7" when really they're a 4, 5 or 6. On the flip side, some guys on here think they're ugly as fuck when they're actually hot, but it's less common.
You want an accurate barometer for your attractiveness? Start looking for these compliments.
However, it's important to mention that this does not apply if you aren't talking to lots of girls, via online dating, bars, and meeting them during the day. No girl will compliment you if you're sitting at home masturbating, or talking to 10 girls a week. If you're actually putting in the numbers, girls will start telling you you're attractive. I don't mean they will randomly come up to you to tell you (although this will happen too, when alcohol is involved), but if you are already talking to them/dating them/fucking them, some small percentage of girls will say these things.
I know some experienced guys (Josan lol) will roll their eyes at this, but I think it's a pretty fair way to check yourself. Don't start beating yourself up if girls aren't complimenting you, just talk to more of them, and go hard in the gym. This isn't a perfect way to assess your attractiveness, but it's a nice, basic test that you can do.
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
Yeah, I get that.
My point is, if you use compliments as feedback for how attractive you are, why not simply use how easy (or difficult) it is for you to sleep with women as even better feedback?
Like, if girls don't ever compliment you and consequently it's very hard for you to sleep with girls, why not simply take the fact that it's very hard for you to sleep with girls and improve based on that and not bother with whether or not you get complimented?
Why is the kind of compliments you get a better metric to rate your attractivenes compared to how easy it is for you to sleep with women?
I can attest this. The amount of chicks regularly saying cute/hot/sexy/handsome has increased drastically these past 9 months. Out of which I got 16 lays with only 3-4 on second date, the rest on first date. And they all wanted to see me again after Hooking up the first time. So, never a buyer's remorse from them.
They've been very easy to deal with, little to no lmr, very spontaneous and always full of compliments.
Usually I get lots of cute and handsome before sex, and a lot of sexy/hot after sex.
My effort to improve my looks(gym, style, grooming) paired up with the no BS and straight to the point attitude, has made all this possible.
BiB is talking about guys who are going through the process of self inprovement. Generally that means looks first and lays after. Getting laid involves more than just looks, so he's saying before you get the lays you'll start first having positive reactions from chicks as long as you make the effort to talk to them.
So being aware of it can help you realign your goals and also sense of entitlement. Because measuring your success just by getting laid can be exhausting if you're not appreciating the small milestones in between.
@ETA yeah, if you look at it that way it actually sounds like something Chris would write,"if girls call you any of these compliments, then the only thing you need to do is give yourself the chance to get laid"or something along those lines. However, from the way op wrote the post it doesn't sound like he meant it that way. Not like it matters anyway.
Online dating, especially swipe apps like Bumble, are the best barometers bar none. Swipe apps for sure.
I occasionally get matches on Bumble, chubby guy here who has a higher than average BF% (trying to reduce it but it is tough) but somehow my face still looks decent. After getting pro photos done, I started to get some matches on Bumble.
Made friends with a dude who used to play quarterback in high school, 6'3 and in great shape while being facially aesthetic. We shared each other's Bumble successes, guy matches with girls I have swiped right on in the app, actively has convos and exchanges pics with them. Meanwhile, I'll occasionally get a match from the app but I just know if I got in shape and got shredded, it would be a lot easier.
But really, I feel like you just know......
Like you just know, you get enough hints of it daily to where you would know....
I do agree with you tho. I work less now and fuck just as many girls as I did two years ago.
Now that I’m bigger too, I get called hot and sexy more often. But I also believe it has to do with the girl and her preference of compliment words.
Some girls call all guys “cute” and others will vary their words. But I think if you’re consistently getting compliments from random girls, you’re on the right track and if you’re not getting laid it’s bc you’re not putting in enough effort if any.
I don’t like talking about subjects like this, especially with inexperienced guys, because it doesn’t help them. They think about it too much and even use it as an excuse to not talk to girls.
BIB, anything in particular about your appearance you think made a big difference? Did you pack on a lot of upper body mass, or get lean? Combination?
I wonder how much of you having a way easier time getting laid is just due to experience. You’ve been doing this for years. You know you can get laid (and I’ll bet that comes out through your “vibe”). And that’s important to remember because I think a common mistake guys make is “I’ll talk to girls later, first I gotta do X”. Not that you said that, but I know I put off trying because I believed if I just get hot enough first I can skip the whole beginner phase, with all the hard work, frustration, self-doubt, and personal growth that comes with it.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.