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Ok so I'm working hard on my looks as fast as possible before I get any older (I'm 28 now). There are so many guys I know (Even guys that are successful with women) that claim it has more to do with personality than looks. I think a lot of these guys however that say this are many times more naturally good looking and therefore DON'T have to go to the gym and workout with weights as much etc. because they have a naturally leaner face etc.
That said, I think personality is obviously at play too but in all honestly it seems like a more minor point. Obviously personality plays some role in the sense that if you were the best looking guy in the world and all you did was sit at home and lock the windows shut never talking to anyone you'd likely never meet a woman. A part of me would like to believe it's more about personality and being outgoing but my logical mind tells me this is wrong.
Many of you might argue this isn't a good benchmark but I'm going to use Tinder as an example. For example when I was fat I got almost no Tinder matches (it was very very rare when I weighed 250). Now that I'm 190 I get substantially more matches but still not a ton nut noticeably more. My goal getting around 10% body fat as stated from this website I think will help even more. I did an experiment at one point where I created a fake account with a guy with a six pack (good looking) with a shirtless pic.
He had more matches in a couple hours than I did on my personal account when I was fat in weeks if not months. Fruthermore this fake profile guy was actually getting messages from women that wanted to meet first versus the other way around. This I feel was a real eye opener for me in terms of how important looks are and more specifically for men how powerful muscles and low body fat percentages are. As an experiment my messages to these matches were usually something like "let's have sex, or let's fuck?" Some of them were willing, and a few were insulted in the sense that they said "what we don't know each other?" Which was easily corrected with something like "I'm only kidding let's just get coffee".
I feel like this is again indication that personality is mostly bullshit. Hot guys are allowed to easily correct themselves with little to no personality and women will still play along.
Now all of that being said you will hear the argument against that though with things like: "well that's Tinder, it isn't real life. Or: People are shallow on Tinder but it's way easier to pickup chicks in real life". I feel there is an element of truth to that, but again my logical brain tells me that if you're not good at picking up women on Tinder you're probably not attractive to women IRL either. It seems like the more time goes on the more I realize why it's important to focus on looks almost 100% and the rest of the "game nonsense" will happen naturally.
You look online however and sites everywhere are littered with articles (even news articles) about how women don't care about how guys looks and how they're more about "personality". I feel we've all really been fed a lie here even though a part of me wants to think that any guy can get a hot girl as long as he has a good personality, but I feel I'd largely be lying to myself. What do you guys think? Is my experiment obvious proof that looks are number one, or all all these news articles about personality actually based on something in reality?
I'm in 100% agreement with you there bro. Unfortunately though at 28 (5 years older than you) I feel like I'm running out of time but hoping there is still time to not only fix this but bang hot women. I think there is but I have to get on this and hit it hard.
The GLL community focus on Getting Laid, and the pro-looks attitude is based upon the actual (not theoretical) experience of guys that produce results (i.e. Getting Laid) on a consistent basis.
Most of the Red Pill, PUA sites are all about personality (i.e. Game).
The "personality" crowd exists for two reasons:
- It allows guys to do nothing with their appearance and still enjoy the illusion that they can pull the hottest women.
-It allows the gurus to sell e-books, DVDs, seminars, 1:1 coaching, etc.
The more people believe that looks don't matter, the more money the online entrepreneurs can make.
The "looks don't matter" crowd tend to hang out at the same online place(s) and reinforce each others delusions.
The "looks matter" crowd tends to hang out here at GLL and reinforce each others real life success.
Personality starts to matter when you're looking for a relationship that goes beyond fuck buddy status.
Temporarily unavailable as I need to focus on other areas of my life. Only focusing on no more than two goals at once. Best of luck to you guys.
Looks get your foot in the door but they won't seal the deal. There are plenty of PUAs who don't look very good, Tom Torero for instance. Then take me for instance, people tell me I look good but I'm getting nowhere at the moment in terms of results because I'm so insecure, depressed and awkward.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
ableright wrote: I'm in 100% agreement with you there bro. Unfortunately though at 28 (5 years older than you) I feel like I'm running out of time but hoping there is still time to not only fix this but bang hot women. I think there is but I have to get on this and hit it hard.
28 is still young.... Im 39 and until getting married this year I have been drowning in fuck buddies and sexy girls. Although I have been working out for 22 years... Def helps.
I like to think of looks as the cover of a book. If you look good, people will want to read you. When they start reading, you better be a bomb ass story(be cool - personality ) if not, they won't even bother reading the first chapter.
There's such a thin line between taking care of your looks and obssessing with them as a way to not face your real problems which probably do not have anything to do with your looks.
We sometimes are stressed out because of other stuff (family, work, college...) and we just focus all that stress into stupid stuff like thinking we are too ugly, too short... because it's just easier than face the other problems.
NoStringsAttached wrote: I like to think of looks as the cover of a book. If you look good, people will want to read you. When they start reading, you better be a bomb ass story(be cool - personality ) if not, they won't even bother reading the first chapter.
This also what Termi said : looks only get your foot in the door.
Only trust your own experience.
Every beginner's question has a simple answer : go date 100 girls and you will have your answer. Stop asking stupid questions ; that's what girls do.
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I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.