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Ok so this is lengthy but hopefully you guys can help. So after the breakup with my Ex Girlfriend because she cheated on me I've been getting into GLL and trying to get more women and specifically of course getting laid more often without commitment. I'm 27 years old going on 28 so I'm trying to do something while I have some youth left. I don't think I'm the best looking guy in the world nor do I even think I'm above average. Your advice though is always the best so any advice is good but If anything I'm below average in looks which I'm working on. I'll post a link to my photo and maybe you guys can give me additional tips on looks and what I should do next to at least better the situation.
So I met my Ex on Tinder. I'm using Tinder now, however I get a low response rate and the girls I do talk to on there usually flake. My online game is horrible. How in IRL? So I've been trying to better myself with real life interaction because I've been socially awkward and I've got some success. I always smile and make eye contact with women. Without trying very hard I've been able to get numbers and some success but I can't seem to full close I.E. actually get laid with much success. I'm thinking it largely also might have to do with screening again.
Perhaps I'm not screening the women hard enough and I focus too much energy on a few women. Here is a short log of what's happened recently and the bad results I'm getting. Hopefully you guys can tell me why I'm getting these results and what I can do to improve. Another thing is I might be going for the wrong kinds of women like women with kids
Girl 1. Was at a bar with a friend attending a Birthday party. Across the bar I notice a girl smiling and making mutual eye contact. Eventually this girl comes up to the bar to order a drink. As soon as she looked at me I started talking to her (small talk). She went back to her table but said she'd be back. Before I left the bar I went up to her and said "I have to go but what's a good way to get a hold of you while taking out my phone".
She seemed somewhat excited and actually gave me her business card with her cellphone number, Facebook etc. She was actually 36 but didn't look 36 at all more like 26 and very good looking. She had recently been divorced but was definitely single and available. I called her the next day and invited her out to an event on Friday night dinner first and then a dance. She agreed! We had a nice dinner, and when we got to the bar with the dance I ended up holding her hand (aggressive) and eventually working into making out which happened. The entire rest of the night for a couple hours she was grinding me on the dance floor. I thought for sure I had this one.
At the end of the night I said "let's watch some Netflix and try this awesome wine I have at my place". She agreed but said her son was coming in on the bus needed picking up. She has kids and her own business so she seems very busy. She told me to text my address and she'd be over later that night. I texted her my address and she went cold nothing happened. A few days later I offered her a date to something else. She agreed she could make it. This is where in my case it's partially my fault. I flaked on her because something came up where I couldn't keep that second date. She understood, but ever since then I haven't been able to make a date with her again and eventually she ended up ignoring me.
Girl 2. Friends on Facebook. She also has a kid. I messaged her on Facebook saying I'd like to go out and meet her. She agreed and said I was cute. She also said she has kids though and was busy a lot. We eventually ended up going on dinner first and she insisted on a movie which I hate on first dates. We held hands at the theater starting with me going for her hand. She said she had to go but wanted to go out again. We've texted and made plans numerous times and every time she flakes. I would assume she's not interested but believe it or not I believe her kid and her job holds her back because she's sent length messages apologizing telling me how her freedom is gone and how she wants to have have dinner and drink at my placebut her Mom won't watch her son etc. She's 24 and good looking.
Girl 3. 20 Years old very hot and works at Buffalo Wild Wings. So we went to BWW she was our waitress. The eye contact, her touching me every time she walked by etc. Made me think she was into me to a degree. We ended up talking about things (small talk) but her manager was getting mad she had to back to work. I came back to BWW later and as soon as I got in and sat down she actually smiled made eye contact and sat next to me to talk for a bit. We talked and I asked for her a way to get a hold of her. She grabbed my phone and typed her number in. She had made to clear she works a ton and is busy a lot though. I know her number is real because come to find she is friends with one of my friends but not good friends. I've tried calling and texting a couple times and never got a reply back. What the heck?
Girl 4. Met her on the bus. Mutual Eye contact and smiling. A lot of talking and she gave me her number but she said she is busy. In her defense she works as a very well paid manager of a trucking company in town. I do happen to know it's a real number. I tried texting once and calling once and she never replied or answered. She is my age about 27.
Girl 5. Is the daughter of a good friend of mine. She's 21. This one is ongoing she recently moved to my city. According to her Dad etc. she is into me and she has even admitted she is promiscuous to me interestingly enough. We've held hands gone on walks etc. When the subject of taking her out to dinner or drinks comes up she has flaked the past two times. Come to find though from her Dad who's in support of us going out, she's been very depressed because of the move and being away from friends back home. This it seems comes down to the whole issue on GLL of DTF girls. Even single girls that are promiscuous may not be DTF at certain times because of crazy life things happening and how emotional women get. That's just a guess in this case. This girl and I may go out later but don't know. I've been with this girl at her Dad's house multiple times for dinner etc.
Girl 6. Friends on FB. We went out a week ago and she told me she never has sex on the first date but we ended up going back to my place and I go a BJ. I asked her out on another date but she told me she was going out with someone else Saturday.
Girl 7. So this past Saturday this girl was passing out raffle tickets for 1 dollar for her business downtown. I bought some but she complimented me saying "you have very cute dimples". She's 33 but again looks younger. Lots of small talk and her talking about her products etc. I left with her Twitter info etc. Yesterday I posted on her Twitter I put my number there and said "Text me". She texted me. I invited her out to a drink. She asked me "Are you interested in products or just hitting on me lol". I told her I was more interested in getting to know her.
She told me she is looking to meet motivated people that want to go places with their lives but that she didn't have time for any romantic relationships or anything like that just right off the bat. She did agree to going out Saturday for a drink though at 830 unless something came up and by the end of last night she was saying she did get a "good vibe" with me and she gave me a wink. Am I wasting my time with this?
Other Girls. So I've also messaged girls on Craigslist etc. that was looking for sex. I've actually had replies back after sending my photo but many times they flake or quit responding.
As far as my efforts go I haven't been doing a lot of cold approaching like Chris does etc. I've mostly been just looking out for women that make mutual eye contact and smile in public, and a few online exploits. I still have approach anxiety issues which I'm getting better at starting with this easier women it seems. My question is though why am I having such a low success rate with this women, even ones that go out with me?
I'm almost wondering if I wouldn't have more success just going out on a Saturday and aggressively screening chicks that are DTF that night and forgetting this dating/numbers crap altogether? It appears that a lot of the success of Chris and others are getting women that same day/night. Then again I wonder if my looks are good enough to do that at this point? Am I capable of getting women that are a 6 or 7 or higher for sex at this point? What do I need to do and what am I doing wrong? I will continue to lose weight and workout at the gym. Thanks for your advice guys as always it's appreciated.
My opinion is, while you are not ugly, you are not attractive. What I mean by this is, you have nice facial features (which are under a nice layer of fat), but your overall appearance is not masculine. You have a notoriously high body fat percentage, you are going bald, and if that's how you dress when you go out, you also have a bad sense of style. In other words, you look like a guy who is boring and has nothing going on for him. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but sugarcoating the facts is just going to keep you in the dark. Coincidentally, Chris has written posts on your very own downsides.
The answer to your question is yes, if you don't improve your looks, you are wasting your time hitting on girls. You are also wasting your time focusing on the wrong things, looking good is the single most important thing when hitting on girls, it's the entrance door for them to get to know you. When you ask "I'm Way Off Because Of Looks But What Else Am I Doing Wrong? I Do Get #s?" it sounds like a question that can only be answered on a PUA forum and we all know how often the average person on those forums gets laid, if you want to be told you need more banter or that you need to develop a deeper emotional connection with a girl then you should post your question there.
Ok, so let's go. First off, I wouldn't sweat the age. I think men hit their prime with women in their late 20's early through mid 30s anyway. Next, do something with that hair. It looks like you give absolutely no fuck. I'm a black dude and I'm not sure what it's called but it looks like crew cut of what I'm thinking you should try. Check this link
and look at first guy and guy listed under crew cut. I think you could get close to this no? Whatever style that hair and cut that shit. It looks a mess. Girls won't fuck you for that just because they think you'er a closer loser. And that's controllable.
Next, the other guy is right. You need to lose some body fat. Chris' diet is great. You'er very skinny fat. If you burn that fat off and your face comes out more with a cut you'll be much much better off.
Next. Understand numbers. That's only 7 girls dude. I personally think in sales, life girls whatever. 1 or 2 out of 10 is about the standard rate for closing a date, making a sale etc. You got head from one so that's not bad at all. Understand though, most numbers don't turn into sex. And the BWW girl was just trying to get your money as a long time customer. The other girl "looking for motivated people" was looking for someone to make money off of. Learn to spot that.
For your dates. No dinners, no movies, no dancing. What are you thinking? Find a bar nearest your house and meet there. You lucky bastard you have money to spend on dates. I'm broke. Get her tipsy, bring her back to your place and fuck her that way. None of this other date bullshit you do. I've fucked about 109 girls. Lost count now. I put everyone into an excel sheet and the numbers showed 94.5 percent of them slept with me on the first or second date. THAT'S RIGHT. And 82 percent were on the first date. So, if you can't get her to have a drink and come fuck you, it's probably not gonna happen. Which leads to why I think you should...
Use online dating. POF, TINDER, OKC- specifically is where I have the very most success and I've heard other guys say the same. Don't forget datehookup.com either and I slept with a couple of hotties off of mingle2.com. Send out 10 or so messages a day on each of those and get numbers. Now meet these girls for a drink as close as you can and see what happens. You need more numbers is the bottom line.
By the way. How tall are you? If you're under 5'10 or so you need some soles to make you taller. .Get as close to 6'1 or so as you can. And I hope you don't wear what you had on in your pic anywhere. If so, that's a no no if you ever plan to interact with girls. The best clothes are edgy badboy type stuff, but for right now, even if you just have some clean looking basic class sytle clothes, (button down blue stripe shirt, solid pair of dark jeans both that fit you right) nice leather brown shoes you're better off than that.
And since 80 percent of women will fuck you on the first date. Something I've started doing (which some "PUA guru" actually talked down upon- surprise surprise ) is inviting them to my house on the first date. I've got about 15 lays so far this year and 20 last year and the fact is the majority of those were willing to come straight to my house and we fucked. Ignore the dumb ass replies from ones that won't like "I don't even know you." They've gone to a guy's house and fucked the first night before. If a girl really likes you the majority will. From there pour her a glass of wine (big glass haha) and then tell her you wanna massage her. Make her take her shirt and her bra off and if she won't take off her bra just unhook it and take off anyway. Massage her 5 minutes then kiss her up and down her spine, on the back of her neck, and lower back. You'll actually be able to smell her pussy when it gets really wet. Then flip her over forcefully like a pancake and start to kiss her lips, then breast, then kiss out down her stomach and lick her pussy. Pull the condom out your pocket (that should have been there from the beginning) and slide it on your dick. Slide into her pussy.
That's what I've done up to a 100 plus lays now. And YES, you are better off going to a bar and screening tipsy girls and trying to bring them home. It's better and easier to get laid the first night. THAT'S WHAT THIS SITE IS ABOUT, and that's what I'm in the process mastering now. So do that some too. But do what I said to get some consistent pussy going.
My info was long/jumbled unorganized but pick out the pieces I gave you and put them together It'll help you get to the pussy quicker instead of the bullshit you're dealing with. You can do it man. You're not bad looking and don't have really far to go loookwise. Oh yea, jump on propecia and Minodxyl like yesterday. And maybe even read up on and consider a little transplant.
Thanks SilkySmooth and all. Ok firstly I am six foot and taller than most women and even men. I want to point out that my hair is one of my biggest worries. I've found a barber in town that actually knows what he's doing that I'm going to this Thursday. I am losing my hair it's receding on both sides. Friends tell me it's hardly noticeable but I agree it is. I don't know what to do. I've seriously thought about propecia but I wonder if it's too late?
I'm also worried about the sexual sides and all these horror storries od guys becoming impotent thanks to propecia. I'm guessing that a lot of these stories are bullshit in that its psychological or caused by something else. I'm assuming my ex gf that I met on Tinder was probably luck. I was even way more overweight when I met her than I am now. Speaking of that I plan to move, but I live in a small town of 100 thousand people metro however it has a college which helps.
I'll continue with the weight fat loss but this hair situation is a mess. I don't know how I would look with a buzz cut either.
You need to be committed man. Here's what I can tell you. I see a LOT of potential in you. Consider yourself lucky. Ur 6ft white male and u don't have any noticeable deformities. If you take working out seriously and possibly add in some androgenic anabolic steroids even to masculinized your face you will go far. I can see you starting out the way someone like Bradley Martyn did.
I'm wondering if it's too late for propecia though? Others can see that other photo I posted. I agree though SandyShark. I have another question related to this though.
While I fully want to follow GLL lose body fat etc. and I'm not disagreeing with you guys, I used to hang out with this guy let's call him Greg (not his real name) but for the sake of this story.
Greg is still a friend of mine, he has been a player up until recently he has settled down with a women. Greg is somewhat chubby, balding, and 48 years old. Yes 48 years old. He doesn't look 48 for his age because he exercises, but he certainly isn't amazingly attractive, and he's not a guy you want to see without a shirt on. Note: He had little to no success with matches, and online dating like Tinder, okcupid, POF etc. All the women we would get would be IRL at bars etc. but it would happen all the time. This would indicate he struggled in looks women ignored him on Tinder.
That said he was even trying to teach me techniques, but he has no problems going out on a Saturday night and getting laid with moderately to attractive young women. I have no idea how he does it, but for some reason perhaps a lot of women have Daddy issues but he can get laid way easier in the past than I could. He would have no problems acting arrogant, cocky, and hitting on just about every women there was even waitresses. Eventually by the end of the night this would pay off and he would get laid with women sometimes HALF HIS AGE.
Perhaps he understands women better though because he was married for 10 years before his wife cheated on him actually. Also he once told me when he got divorced in his 40s he was worried he wouldn't find more women and an older friend of his told him "don't worry, at your age they come to you and Greg told me he was right".
I'll never forget the time he didn't have luck himself all night getting laid, and we're coming out of a bar and just then a girl about half his age comes out of the bar somewhat pissed off probably because of her BF or something. Greg made some smart ass remark like "Wow you seem pissed off about something, let's get a drink". She went along with him to his house got a drink there and well the rest is history. I got nothing of course. Greg told me the next day it was probably "angry sex" but it worked for me.
My point is how was he able to do this or does it get easier when guys get older? Was Greg somehow able to get from looks to tricking women into thinking he was BF/protector/Daddy material? I'm not sure myself.
Look, trying to get laid with high bodyfat is like playing Tetris with your eyes closed. Fine, you might get the occasional stroke of luck but you'd do much better without handicapping yourself.
Also I've heard a million versions of your story "I know X fat/out-of-shape guy who gets laid ALL THE TIME BRO"
The thing is: I've literally never met a guy like that before. It's just sort of an urban legend. Ask yourself this: how many legit hotties have you actually seen this guy take home? How many times did you see him take a girl home period? Once? Twice? Your chubby, balding 48 year old friend was not regularly taking attractive women home. You just inferred that from shit he said and that one time you saw him pick up a girl "half his age" (fat? unattractive? Who knows, all we have is her age).
I've never met an ugly guy who fucks hot girls. Never. And don't start slangin' celebrities names around because being INSANELY (celebrity) high status obviously trumps looks.
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
All this looks debacle and OP seemingl seeking alternative with game or example with his friends always boils down to improving looks or changing body composition takes a LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT.
As for your friend, the old guy, the most likely answer is right place right time and luck given what you said about the girl being pissed and looking to get even, don't look too much into it. One time anomalies and outliers do not make the rule.
Only place that I've seen where ugly/fat/old men consistently nailing hot chick's is the Internet
Good point guys. I never did see the old guy get a lot of these hot young chicks in person. Apparently my body fat is high but I don't know how high percentage wise. I'll work on that and my hair I feel is the biggest issue. I'm thinking propecia, and there appears too be haircuts that certain celebrities use and have that help hide receding hairlines and I don't mean comb overs I mean short. Some guy also suggested a beard? I wonder what kind of beard would look best
You're actually in a good situation right now as far as the hair goes, it looks like you haven't lost too much and you can easily preserve what you have left with ru58841/minox and nizoral shampoo. You would be a great candidate for a hair transplant to restore the frontal area. In december i am going to have a procedure done by Dr Doganay; I already have scalp pigmentation but the hair grafts will allow me to actually grow out some hair and it will look much better. There are alot of highly skilled and very inexpensive FUE doctors in Turkey. A better hairline would allow you to have an awesome hairstyle. Add muscles + a beard and you'd look like a slayer.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.