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I'm Cain, I live in Germany, 24 years old, just finished my bachelors degree and moved to Cologne for an internship.
Today I am starting the AA program.
My sex live has been a shitshow for the most part of my life. Had my first kiss at 14, first oral sex at 17, but it took me until 22 to actually fuck. Now two years later I have upped my score to six chicks.
I found GLL last summer after searching for ways to avoid being emotionally attached to a fuckbuddy. I had a rought patch in life in general, being somewhat depressed and burnt out. I decided early in 2020 to focus on my sex life and took pretty much all chances I could get via my social circles. The year started of good in relation to my past track record. I fucked two chicks a few times in the first few months. Eventually both fuckbuddy relationships fell apart because one chick wanted a relationship and with the other I messed up because I was too needy. Well shit, my sex opportunities in social circles were dried up and the pandemic countermeasures were going on so I wasn't meeting new people regularly.
So I read a bunch of stuff from GLL and was inspired by it:
- decided I needed to give online dating another shot and I also wanted to do AA.
- lost some weight. I was never obese but not fit either. Started with the GLL fat loss diet but switched it up slightly because it was unhealthy and the caloric deficit pushed down my testo too hard, had far lower sex drive. Nonetheless, I lost 7kg/14pounds in 7 weeks and since have had a fourpack. The eightpack isn't fully showing yet. Decided to do some gains instead from that point on and focus on other stuff like clothing and my skin.
- worked hard on some good/acceptable Tinder pics (profile link will follow on day 3 of my AA journal, looking forward to your guys feedback)
At the beginning of this year, I made some New Year's resolutions related to sex. New Years resolutions are usually not my style, they are usually bullshit. I have only made some once in my life when I was serious about it. It was to start writing a diary which I have now been doing for more than a year. Really important decision. Well whatever, here is my new years resolution:
This year I want to get my sex live in order. That means specifically:
- having sex regularly. At least one night per week. Optimally not only on average, but really every week
- fucking twelve chicks this year, one for each month
- beating my approach anxiety
I launched my Tinder profile first thing this year. My sex life didn't accelerate as much as I had hoped, especially because I simply had a lot of other shit on my plate (like my bachelors thesis) and also made a bunch of excuses. Especially, I didn't even fking start AA yet. I didn't use tinder much but I got one fuck buddy relationship out of it with a chubby chick. Almost simultaneously, I met a new chick in my social circles which was hotter and also started a fuckbuddy relationship with her. The two fuckbuddy relationships almost fully drained me of free time and energy so I wasn't super explorative for new chicks after that.
I maintained the two fuckbuddy relationships until one week ago when I moved to a new city. I think I did pretty good in maintaining them, thanks to GLL. Dodged relationship bullets. Fucked both of them on the first date, thanks to Boytoy. The hotter one turned out to be really kinky and I got to explore a lot of fantasies (bondage, anal, DP (with toys), public sex in park and university library...).
Overall the experiences of the past few months have been great and I am grateful to GLL and the community for helping me. I especially want to give a shout out to BoyToy as well, found some of his stuff through the Internet Archives/Waybackmachine.
These experiences pushed my confidence big time. Now I want to take shit to the next level and finally start approaching girls whenever and wherever I want.
I gotta admit, I have pretty strong approach anxiety, at least I feel like it is very strong compared to other fears I have. Socially, I am really extroverted and not afraid to speak in public or anything, quite the contrary. Also at private parties with friends of friends I can talk to chicks and when there's some liquor involved I will also start flirting with them and eventually make out and things even have developed into sex (not same night). But when it comes to talking to chicks that I am interested in and that I have no given social context with like a party or TInder, I am terrified.
A sexually fairly successful and very close and trusted friend of mine thinks that fear is natural and that every guy has it. He might be right but I'm not ready to accept that for me. I want to be able to do that shit and the AA program looks doable and pretty genius. Of my new years resolution, losing my AA is the most important part to me. I don't think I could live happily without having tried seriously to get a liberated sex life.
That's why I am doing the AA program now. Unfortunately I have a full time job for four month, so the AA program can only be my "1b)" priority. To be honest, I hardly give a shit about the internship but I want to do it since I did a bachelors program that was kinda detached from reality and this is my best opportunity to get some real experience. Passion wise though, I don't give the slightest fuck about my work. I see no higher purpose in it. My mental focus and motivation will be on the AA program, even though I might not spend the largest chunk of my time on it.
All the time after work can be dedicated to the AA program. Since I am in a new city I have no friends here and I have no social life to distract me, so that part will also make it easier. I hardly have any commute times to my work (9min bike ride). I live in a large city (1 million inhabitants) that has a lot of young people. I think the circumstances are OK for starting AA. No work or a part-time job would definitely be better. But I'm not gonna postpone my efforts for another four months.
It's the end of excuses for me. I know that when I put my mind to something, I can do it. I did it with uni, I did it with sports.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.