TOPIC: Jonathan from New York

Hey guys, I'm Jonathan. I'm 22 and I'm from New York. I'm looking to develop myself socially and beat approach anxiety.

My story is quite different from other people's on here. I had friends up until I was 11 years old, when I started having seizures (which lasted until 2005). As a result of this, my friends no longer wanted to be around me and people started to bully me. This lasted all the way through high school. In high school I didn't have any friends. I had some people I tried to connect with, but they just ended up bullying me/making fun of me anyway.

During this time, I tried online dating starting in 2009. I met one girl who I shared my first kiss with, but unfortunately, she was a user and only saw me if I had a gift for her. She also told me how she wanted to fuck other guys and never put out. After that I met one girl in 2010, which didn't work out and then I didn't see another girl from the internet (despite me contacting many girls) until 2013. In 2013 I had a match.com date with a girl who half way through the date told me she had a boyfriend in the army stationed in Tennessee. The next girl I met was out of state, was a fat chick who said she was "skinny" but was a good kisser. She let me suck her nipples, but wouldn't go any further because she wanted to do it for "love". She ended up being a Jesus freak.

I met a girl off okcupid a few months later and she was the first girl I got naked and fooled around with. However, this girl had issues, was belittling, and found out, was involved with a drug dealer. In 2014, I met a girl from okcupid. She was nice, but smelled so bad and looked so ugly she made me wanna throw up. She also had facial hair. She was a virgin, but I was just so put off by everything that I decided not to see her again.

The last girl from the internet I met was from another state. We talked for a month, went on two dates, but then (as she was out of state), she started making excuses about how she would be working 7 days a week, and that she couldn't see me again.

So basically, I haven't had much luck online dating at all.

I'd say I'm quite isolated and don't talk to that many people. Everytime I've tried to start a friendship with someone, it goes well for a few days or weeks until something goes wrong. I keep thinking I've ran into messed up people.
I can say that I can talk to people and have a good conversation. I know that I enjoy talking to other people, it's just that I've never really had any success socially and I need some motivation to get myself to that point.

What I want to get out of this site is the ability to approach girls, get laid, make friends, work on my social skills.

welcome jman

I forgot to mention this before, but I'm also a virgin. My goal in the next 6 months is to lose my virginity, be able to talk to any girl I find attractive, and to get a fuck buddy or possibly a girlfriend.

I guess what's stopping me from achieving these goals is that I don't have that much confidence. I'm not really sure of what to say/say the wrong thing. My other issue is that I've been addicted to porn/masturbation since I was 12 and I'd like to stop that.

Jman I was a porn addict for over a decade. How far along are you to beating your addiction?

SupaDorkLooza wrote: Jman I was a porn addict for over a decade. How far along are you to beating your addiction?

The longest I was able to go was 5 months. I want to beat it for real now. It seems that my lack of success with online dating got me frustrated and drove me back to looking at porn.

PKgangzta wrote: Hey Jonathan

You say u from ny. Im in Brooklyn
If you're in the NYC area and want someone to talk bout GLL shit with and hang out lmk
I could help you out with the approach anxiety shit too

Welcome bro

Sure that would be great! I'm in Queens.

I'm also in the process of eating healthier/ losing weight. I've been trying to stick to a mostly all protein diet and to cut out carbs. From when I started in October, I've actually dropped more than 10 lbs.

If you went 5 months PMO free thru willpower alone I'm very impressed.

I recommend taking up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu:
- you will get to meet people and get outside of your head
- time spent on the mats will make you better in bed since you will have lots of experience in body positioning
- you will learn to fight and win, which will help you get over being bullied in the past

Sweet, other fellow New Yawkers in the house.

I second the BJJ 100000%. I did it for a month and have unfortunately had to stop due to finances and a lack of car, but it was so much fun I can't wait to get back in it. All the above benefits will also all equal a higher confidence in general life and help develop killer instinct.

You got a lot of support here Jman, just make sure to stay focused with your goals. agree with what all above posters mentioned,

- BJJ (personally i prefer the gym, i did boxing before, but now i'm really a gym rat. but whatever physicality/physical exercise does a tremendous amount for self-confidence
- you look flabby, get ripped (stick to your diet and congrats on your weight loss, but continue)
- get a haircut
- meet up with PKgangzta. i've seen his posts, from what i've read he's a standup guy and you should be able to benefit from talking in person with an experienced member here

question (and hope it's not too personal) : are you still having seizures ?

alejandro wrote: You got a lot of support here Jman, just make sure to stay focused with your goals. agree with what all above posters mentioned,

- BJJ (personally i prefer the gym, i did boxing before, but now i'm really a gym rat. but whatever physicality/physical exercise does a tremendous amount for self-confidence
- you look flabby, get ripped (stick to your diet and congrats on your weight loss, but continue)
- get a haircut
- meet up with PKgangzta. i've seen his posts, from what i've read he's a standup guy and you should be able to benefit from talking in person with an experienced member here

question (and hope it's not too personal) : are you still having seizures ?

I actually stick to a workout regimen everyday. Mon thru Sat I do the treadmill for 30 mins and go from speed 4.4 to 5 at an incline of 15. I burn up to 583 cal. I also work my abs (5 exercises) at 2 sets of 60 reps 2 times a day. In addition, I also, lift light weights as well as walking 2 sometimes 3 dogs a day. On Sunsay, I do all of that, except instead of the treadmill, I do 20 laps at a high school track.

I haven't had a seizure since 2005. It's the negative impact of the bullying and social isolation I received as a result of the seizures is why I've got anxiety. (This all happened in Catholic Schools).

Jman wrote: I actually stick to a workout regimen everyday. Mon thru Sat I do the treadmill for 30 mins and go from speed 4.4 to 5 at an incline of 15. I burn up to 583 cal. I also work my abs (5 exercises) at 2 sets of 60 reps 2 times a day. In addition, I also, lift light weights as well as walking 2 sometimes 3 dogs a day. On Sunsay, I do all of that, except instead of the treadmill, I do 20 laps at a high school track.

I haven't had a seizure since 2005. It's the negative impact of the bullying and social isolation I received as a result of the seizures is why I've got anxiety. (This all happened in Catholic Schools).

sorry bro but that's not gonna do. you HAVE to lift heavy weights/up your intensity if you wanna pack on the muscle and not just look skinny fat