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If you really love her keep her in your life but dont let her control it man! It never works out when a guy is the first one to catch feelings and gets needy. Hangout with friends, hit the gym, get some upbeat music, do whatever makes you feel like a champ and everything will work out. You have more fuckbuddies then a lot of guys that should make you feel like a boss, I know you only want the one but give it time. Like chris said in the article things I wish I knew in my 20's "shes not 1 in a million, unlikely even 1 in 100" or something like that. That quote was nothing short of life changing for me and allowed me to take control of the relationship that was causing me unhappiness. I got my shit together worried about myself and im 10x happier now.
-Put 120 hours into my blog
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"Wherever I go, friends are hard to come by (they already have their local friends). So I get together with girls instead. Girlfriends are my main source of comfort, human emotion, experience, love and closeness. They are quite simply put my link to reality and stability."
^^^^^ This is what is fucking you up. There's this chapter in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey where he compares a balanced person to a table. Like one leg is family, the other is friends, the other is pussy (okay he says love), another could be career, religion, your hobbies/dream, etc. He makes a good point about how if you don't have many legs to stand on, you become dependent in those areas in an unhealthy way. a good example would be a persona career. lets say a person had nothing else going on in their lives except for their job. On one hand it might be good because that person would excel and be one of the most hard working individuals there. But supposed their boss was a major asshole. That person would now possibly become a bitch because his whole sense of value comes from that job. But lets say on the other hand you have someone who has a strong support system, lots of good friends (even online), good family, or doing their passion on side like working out, music, surfing or some shit and encounters an asshole boss. do you think that person would take any abuse? Hell no.
anyways, my advice to you is read that book or sorry, i cant remember which chapter but i think you dont really love this chick that much. maybe you do but you're maybe feeling lonely from traveling so much and you possibly dont have balance.
As for the girl, sent her an SMS a few hours ago telling her I had had a good time watching a film with her yesterday and loved holding her in my arms. No answer at all... I think it's over and should start acting accordingly and forgetting her. If I see her again fine, if I don,t then at least I don,t have any expectations. It'll be a hard weekend (at least I'll fuck my other fuckbuddy) but I have to deprogram myself and program myself to thinking I will never see her again!
I suck with girls myself, but holy shit bro you're so fucking needy and desperate its not even fun.
Sending her that kind of SMS and she doesnt even bother replying... thats fucking sad. She doesnt care about you AT ALL, do you realize that? She has all the power, just dump her and delete all the contacts.
GODOFROIDZ is right. Don´t contact her. If she calls you or sends you a message, tell her you are busy at the moment. Ignore her for at least 2 weeks and try to make something that pushes your self esteem in the meantime. After 2-3 weeks you could call her and find out if she is dtf.
I don't know how you fall in love with a girl after like a month of seeing her while having other fuckbuddies. You are most likely just heavily infatuated, not in love. It is what happens to most guys when they finally have a hot girl come along. Oneities at its finest. Drop contact with her is my suggestion. And don't ask when it is appropriate to contact her again. Forget her. I guarantee if you are actually getting laid as much as you said (and your other fb's aren't whales) this chick your "in love with" will be out of your mind in the same amount of time it took for you to fall for her (quickly).
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I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.