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Zuberi: Yeah, those 2 point are crucial. I've been focusing on transforming my life this Feb. It's paid off because now my life feels like it has more purpose and more direction each day. I still don't have the women thing figure out.. at all.
BTW, That's not my signature - you're confusing me with someone else.
Anyway, I got my first date with a new chick in months, because I've been working on my life. This was a bus cold approach on this brunette/redhead who was above average cute but acts masculine, not feminine. I played fucking safe man game, and when I kissed her through the phone she wanted to quickly get off the phone after we'd set up a quick coffee meet for 5.30PM on Thursday. She doesn't sound DTF AT ALL... what a waste of a date. But I got nothing else now.
Get this: when I said on the phone "you should come meet me at my part of town" her answer was: "but I know that area, and there's nothing there". I'm like: "you're right, there's nothing there.... except me. Look, we're just gonna get to know each other and chill. We're not going sightseeing. ". And then she's like: "right, how about we meet downtown". And I stupidly agreed even though I really didn't want to. I need more expectation management practise.
Thanks for the feedback Amir, damn... I wonder what it would be like to hit on Slavic and Czech women. Those countries are pretty close. The 2 Estonian girls I've hit on in Helsinki were some of THE most sweet, giggly and feminine I've met
In general, I don't wanna blame external circumstances for what I experience. According to AI, a more powerful mindset is that "I am the creator" in my life. Now I'm in control, now I can do something differently to get a different end result. I'm not at the mercy of other people, girl's expectations and fucked-up societal conditioning. I MUST RISE ABOVE IT.
Of course, some girls just are fucked-up/mean/bitches/entitled feminazi cunts. But...
Do you guys have any way to encourage/make a chick act more feminine? This girl I'm supposed to meet on Thursday didn't act feminine at all. She used smilies in txts but on the phone she criticised/challenged several innocent things I said and couldn't vibe with my chill humor. FUCK IT, I WON'T MEET HER, at least if she doesn't change her attitude.
I've been trying to figure out how to get my inner game better myself. I'm horribly outcome dependent, and still regularly suffer from AA and general SA, even after I, say, force myself to approach a bunch of girls over a couple hours.
I've been trying to figure out the solution. Personally I have found zero carry over from leading a happy and fulfilling life outside of girls to success with girls and general anxiety, unfortunately. The rest of my life is generally just fine and yet I am constantly crippled to make efforts and suffer from a low success rate.
2nd Priority goal of 2014 (1st is in career):
2000 Day Approaches
Currently at ~800
with 6 Lays
Currently at 2
2000 Night Approaches
Currently at 1200?
with 4 Lays
Currently at 0
While it's certainly not mainstream here, I think male dominance is making a come back in the USA. It's not cool as a whole, but many women are secretly craving it, and the fact that the book "50 shades of grey" is so popular is telling in my opinion. It's the way we are made, men are the chasers, and women are the chase'ees (dont' think that's a word)! Secretly, most women want a man to take charge... not saying that they like to be abused or misused, so don't confuse the two or you won't ever get any sex.
I'm saying that women want a strong man that leads them and takes charge in certain areas. Be bold, be creative and take charge. They will quickly tell you if you cross a line or if they don't like something. Until they do, keep going forward and pushing the envelope. I honestly think women have been taught wrongly and that is why this stuff that Chris teaches works so well, because deep down, it's what women crave from their basic instinct and/or desires. Like anything, some women have been brainwashed or they are simply wired differently, so it just won't work on them, but for a lot, it will work and it works well!
Jimmy, I agree, you are totally right: men are the leaders.
Summary: After doing week 6 of AA drills, talking to women becomes easy mode, so I did about 40 screening approaches while visiting another city, then came back to my home city last week, and now I don't have time to do em cos I have to find an apartment or I'll be homeless after summer, and other fucking life issues and I don't handle stress well ugh...
Anyway, I decided to update my screening thread right here, because after getting comfortable with week 6 AA drills, I did a bunch of real approaches, around 40, during like the past week when I went to visit my family in another city.
I felt hella comfortable doing approaches after going through all the work to do weeks 1-6 of the AA program, excluding a few drills like the night time "squeeze" drills. I pushed my comfort zone and I did a supermarket coffee instadate with one brunette, then I stopped young blonde cyclist on the street and touched her ass in the middle of our initial conversation as I was asking her about "doing squats at the gym to get a nice ass". She was like "you're really funny"
It felt really liberating to do that without fear. I have so little fear now that it's easier to act like I want to act, be myself and go for what I want - for the lay. I know that going through the AA drills has transformed me as a person. I recommend this for everyone, it's great!
I've been "practising" asshole game or acting like an entitled careless asshole liek Roissy/Heartiste describes with women (not abusive - still a charming, expressive but really take-charge person) and damn... I can tell there's something good here. I can get into a Scotty-type of approach dynamo mindset. My personality is changing to be more dominant, I can tell even though this transformation is in its early stages.
I wish I could say I got a lay during my week in another city. I really had the goal of pussy in mind, but out of 9 phone numbers, I got one hot 19-yo brunette to come hang out at my apartment for almost 2h but she wasnt DTF and I hadn't screened her properly so she just "wanted to be friends", maybe a a BF seeker. I did have fun meeting her, playing guitar to try and impress her lol and telling her to bend down and touch her toes, then smacking her ass, but when I started kissing, she left my apartment.
I felt mad and blue-balled for the rest of the day and kept cursing "damn, damn, fuck, fuck, dammit!", and had huge text convos with her about the situation cos I though creating some drama would make her change her mind about me or get her more emotionally invested as more than friends. Anyway, the next day I was calm and back to my normal self
Thanks, ssk. The goal I'm keeping in my sights is getting more results with less work. The faster the pull, the better.
Last weekend - 2 attempted insta-pulls at a wedding
I was playing keyboards and staying overnight at this wedding in the countryside and I decided to pull some BoyToy-style fast lay shit. Logistics: I had my own room for the night in the guesthouse next to the mansion where the wedding was held. Distance: 1min walking.
I waited till around midnight when I had finished performing and the girls were pretty tipsy. I decided to open with telling them they're cute, small talk 1-2min about the wedding and then tell them: "hey, it's too loud/hot in here, we should go get some fresh air" and walk them to my room. Out of only 7 or so cute/decent single girls there, I hit on the 4 best looking ones. 2 were not sexually available, 2 came back to my room.
Problem is: both of them kissed back when I kissed them but stopped me when I tried to rub their pussy. I of course tried sitting them down on the bed and small-taking a bit more and then escalating again and also telling them corny shit like: "we're two adults and we can do whatever we wanna do/ you're so sexy I just can't help but be turned on by you" but this didn't work because without her pussy being turned on, nothing I say matters, I guess.
Girl #1: I said something to her that I'm still chuckling about: "Just bend over that table and give me 5 minutes"
Girl #2 was strangely impressed and curious, yet skeptical about me. She said: "you're really good-looking and you know that". Here's some of what she said that I didnt really answer directly: "you're such a player. does this often work on girls? I'm really curious, where did you learn to do this? this feels like a tv-show or something. it's like you're a good actor, I can't take you seriously." This makes zero sense to me cos I'm 100% non-scripted, in the moment, Zen swag, no routines. Any tips on how to handle skeptic LMR attitude? Just escalate, right? She just stopped me again and again so I figured: OK, she's not DTF.
I followed the motto "get laid or get lost" and they both got lost. Well, only thing that matters is that I gave it my best shot and succeeded in a bolder + faster pull to isolation than before.
3h 15min of full-on approaching (#-close goal) downtown with a 15min protein shake break and 10min toilet break and a little shopping.
First 1,5h was brutal because I had a low state of mind (super important to feel happy, confident & care-free when cold-approaching). I was feeling depressed so 99% girl/set of girls blew me off at hello with either: "I'm busy" or "I have a BF". I wondered: what the FUCK is wrong with me (and these chicks), I thought I was looking GOOD today because I'm so close to getting "my style" together after so long. But having a depressed state of mind makes you seem weird and fail at cold-approach no matter how you look. Luckily I'm working on becoming happier each day.
Okay, then after like 2h I got a little taste of success: a few sweet girls genuinely told me they appreciated me coming up and talking to them and making their day although they had BFs. As a result of that I felt uplifted. And some tatted chick who I got this flirty banter/convo going with and she didn't mind giving me her number although I messed up that first #-close by asking "what's your name... ok, and what day is it today?" to which she replied "oh, are you gathering a collection of numbers today" to which I tried to play it cool but she seemed put off. still replied my first txt with a smiley, so some promise there.
As a result of that little success, my personality and conversation ability kinda opened up - call it social momentum - and approaching just started to feel more natural. My words flew out better, I felt less stifled, more social. For the first time today, I could start laughing and feeling a bit of joy. If I could be in this state all the time, I'd be golden. I will put in the needed hours to socializing and hitting on girls UNTIL I get my success.
At the end, I gathered 5 #-closes in total (+1 girl I gave my number to because she said she didn't know me enough to give her #) and went home feeling like I have fucking achieved something although it was mentally hard to be initially blown off over and over again by some many girls. But I deal with my pain by writing about it and sleeping it off (I feel better today - June 29th). I must make myself stronger to benefit not only myself but others.
Yeah, I have problems feeling sexy cos if I'm real with you... I don't see any hot young chicks wanting me, and I don't have a great body, its OK. Looks, style and social freedom are above-average, that I can usually count on to make me feel good about approaching. Maybe I can change that. I lack entitlement because I've failed a lot in my life and I need to get success which is HARD to come by in me state of being. I need to change. I just need to become better somehow. I'm listening to Chris's new videos about entitlement right now.
And the hardest thing for me - and I know ssk08 you and many others have felt this - is feeling like I'm so lame that I have to settle for the leftovers - old chicks, single moms and damaged girls - while the bigger and better guys fuck the cheerleaders.
I would love to get the braveness to start traveling around the world, but I'll start small: get my passport and go to nearby countries.
Anyway, today I made a mistake picking up this older almost 40yo chick who had a 6ft slender body and (for her age) youthful pretty face. I haven't had a lot of time to pick up chicks lately (or I have excuses) and this is what I get. I shouldn't even have bothered with her because even though she came to my house the same day/night, she only wanted to "get to know me" and was not DTF. And yeah, I physically screened her, held both her hands, hugs etc. I managed to insult her somehow by accusing her of being a cocktease for coming to my house and not wanting to do anything. She was a bit angry when she left.
I don't want to "get to know" these girls and talk and talk, I want to fuck them FAST like BoyToy does and then retain some of them that are good in bed as FBs, what is wrong with that? Nothing. There's nothing wrong with wanting chicks as your sex objects.
And I don't know if anyone else feels like this but as the chick is sitting on my bed or I'm dancing with my body close to her, the more I get turned on and the closer to sex, the less I regain my speaking ability, especially "get to know you" conversation. I just can't come up with the words/thoughts and have no interesting in talking, I just. want. to. fuck. and I HATE the fact that you have to "build some kind of relationship" with girls first. fuck, if I was rich Id go to prostitutes all the time.
LESSON: pick up young chicks are are more eager for sex, I guess. Although they've all been rejecting me lately. Useless numbers.
It's pretty good that you can pull a girl back to your place off the street. Give you self credit for that.
Nothing wrong with a girl wanting more comfort before sex. Some girls like you a lot, will make out with you on the first date, even let you grab her tits, but they just won't put out. They made up their mind before they even met you. That's their rule. If you are Chris, you can next her coz you got 100 other girls lined up. Otherwise, if I like the girl, I still go out with her again, grope her, make out with her. Probably by 2nd or 3rd date you would have fucked her.
BTW, I posted this question before - which eastern europe country is the best for pick-up. Also by September is it too cold in Scandinavian or Eastern Europe?
@ssk08: Haha I'm just tall, not big. I belong in the same small-boned ectomorph group as you. I just went down to 78.5kg on my fat loss diet.
Now I'm starting to eat again so I can get closer to 90kg (where I've been before, and I wasn't fat then. more muscular and more confident about my body). But thank you for the encouragement - I'm gonna exploit all the strengths I have and max out my potential. "Sisu war machine", yes I can definitely tap into that side of myself: the drive, the aggression. I mostly feel that on days when I do a heavy gym workout or things go my way in life, when I succeed.
Reading great self-improvement like Thick Face, Black Heart and Jim Rohn's audios helps me get my inner game right. I will share my notes on those 2 books within a few days when I finish them.
I believe I'd be able to expand my personality and have more freedom of expression in a different culture than the one I grew up in - Finland. Some of the fondest memories in my life are from my time abroad in Hungary and Sicily. I've been too stuck in my Finnish ways and the dysfunctional "don't talk to strangers" social norms this culture has ingrained in me, but I'm changing thanks to my friends who keep me level-headed and thanks to influence of great men in online forums like GLL who motivate me to discover just what is possible in life. Of course I thank you Amir, for being there for me as a friend and for pushing the limits in life and and living to tell us about it
As far as "endgame here today" mentality, it's funny you should mention that, because I read the same basic idea on page 173 of Thick Face, Black Heart yesterday. The book says: "You need to perceive yourself as being successful and then operate your life as if you are. Before you can garner the external rewards, you first must inwardly experience that they already belong to you." It's an inner shift in midset that I will cultivate: feel like the hot girls with amazing curves already belong to me and I don't need to be or do anything I'm not to get them. REAL ENTITLEMENT.
Regarding the 40yo lady from yesterday: I bet she hasn't gotten good cock in so many years she forgot how good it feels
BTW, the effort and volume you've put in to cold approching says that you have lots of perseverance - you don't give up. A quote from new favorite book TFBH that I wholly agree with: "life is a battle that must be fought. There is no way out. Victory is the only aim."
Being drunk frees me, but it makes me very sloppy - my verbal skills diminish. OTOH, Phenibut frees me EVEN MORE, yet I can think, walk and talk like I'm sober. I'm more charismatic & better socially. every moment spent looking an above-average woman in the eyes and holding her hand while hitting on her felt blissful when on Phenibut. I'll start experimenting with it again soon now that I've gotten over my fear of taking it.
If I'm on a holiday in Baltics or anywhere else, I could spent all day hitting on girls (efficiently), seeing new places, and having new experiences. That's what travel is all about
@SmoothOperator: thanks, although I got her number and met like 1.5h later. Yeah, I'll keep in mind not to push it so far on 1st date that I make her angry with me and ruin the future possibility of sex. Also, I can't compare different EE countries cos I've only picked up in Finland, but September is still a nice month, you can wear a t-shirt in Helsinki on most days IIRC.
Shiit, while writing this post, a random drunken giggly girl just called me out of the blue (possible DTF, it's Sat night). I didn't remember her at first but checked my number logs to see I'd picked her up last October! She didn't remember me either, so I told her I'm tall, dark and handsome and live in place X and then she called me "mystery man". I persuaded her to come meet me tonight, but no luck. So I texted her to meet me on another day.
I was out talking to chicks on a pretty good mood during the day. Got a few #s. My douchebag summer style is on point: black trucker cap, black tank shows my arms, cool necklaces, ear piercings, dark grey/blue jeans etc, black leather wrist accessories, a sfew ilver rings etc. But I'm blue balled cos I haven't ejaculated for long (no-fap). But I had hope of release today.
A 20-something chick that I numba closed last week came over for 1.5h in the evening. She's happy to be on holiday, plenty of time to hang out with this loser, always enthusiastic and smilies in her texts. She had a nice thick body and tats cos she was sorta punk rock as a teen.
I met with her at the nearest station, hugged and walked her straight to my home without hesitation. I offered her a cider and she sat on my bed. I made a lame attempt to impress her with my guitar playing for about 20mins. We talked maybe 10-15mins side-by-side on the bed. I just didn't know how to create any sexual feeling, vibe or conversation. I fear that if I try, it will be too much too soon, so I do "get to know you" talk, because do you know what a PAIN IN THE ASS IT IS TO HEAR: " BUT I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU YET"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAHHH!?!? WELL GET TO KNOW ME THEN!!!
After talking on the bed side-by-side and her drinking her cider, I then took her hand and slow-danced with her. I kissed her during the song, she kissed back, minimal tongue. As I was kissing, I went to rub the pussy over her jeans. She said "I think it's too soon". I took my hand off and said "alright, let's jsut dance" then we slow-danced till the end of the song.
Then we did some more talking on the balcony. We looked at a tattoo book together and talked there for 30mins about everything. Maybe we bonded over a common interest there.
Then, to give her a novel experience with me, I took her to see our rooftop for like 20mins and for a few mins I held both her hands while talking/chilling with her there. Then we went back to my balcony to talk for 10mins and she had a smoke. I was doing most of the talking cos I don't want her to feel awkward silences. I don't mind them.
After a while I told her truthfully: "alright I'm tired, I should probably walk you back to the station". Her face showed some surprise which really didn't even register on my radar, I had lost all hope and caring at that point. I walked her back, hugged her and told her it was a nice night, we should meet again, but I'm not sure if we will.
WHY DID I SUDDENLY BECOME TIRED (DEPRESSED) AND UNABLE TO EXECUTE A PLAN (FOR PUSSY) EVEN WHEN SHE WAS ENJOYING MY COMPANY?? Well, after my 1st escalation attempt in my room, I just lost heart, I lost hope of getting laid today, my smile turned into a frown, my optimistic heart almost instantly went black and I lost all energy to try and get through her fucking defenses.
I became anxious in a very weird way: my speech started becoming slurred, I stammered a few times which NEVER happens when I'm in a normal physical state and I started feeling a weird unreasonable nervousness talking to her. I lost all joy of being and talking with her, so I figured it's best to send her home before she realizes I have wounds that run really deep, before she sees me as a depressed loser that she has no interest in seeing again, give her some time to get over her possible "no fucking on the first date" - rules and just say "fuck it" for tonight.
Now I'm tired. I don't care. I must be learning something from all this, hopefully.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.