TOPIC: It's my life, and it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever.

I'll try and honestly rate myself based on GLL criteria so you can kinda see where I'm at:

Looks - 7-8 usually based on clothing and whether I'm wearing glasses. Even though I've got slim bones and will never be muscular without roids, I'm 6ft tall and a good face so I have that going for me
Style - 7 "eastern european criminal": buzzed hair, black cafe recer leather jacket, Diesel jeans, black boots. My glasses ruin the look if I wear them. I'm having problems with contacts.
Social Freedom - 7 : I can open in a crowded bus although this takes a little momentum and creates internal resistence
Social Skills/Ability to relate to other humans- 6-7 : I can comfortably talk with friends for hours about anything. I can flirt with the barista a little bit. I can engage random people on the street in conversation. I can date the women who already like me, I can't convert "maybes" yet. Still have a problem emotionally caring and being interested in others' lives.


Horny's 4th date 25th October - 5-hour LMR from hell

short version: after 6h of escalation and tests she wouldn't let me in pussy, so I jerked off in her hand and we were both happy

I'd cold approached this 22yo tall sexy slim sporty brunette a full month earlier at a and finally got her to meet up! She was DTF as she called me drunk last Friday at midnight. At the start of the date she was receptive to me putting my hands around her waist and kissing both her cheeks as I greeted her. Then I took her for a cup of something warm as usual, and then back to my place after 30-40mins.

Chris, thank you for telling me to think of dates as foreplay. I was touching her EARLY and OFTEN. Here's some GOLD: Right from the start, when we sit down side by side in a leather seat, I take her hand in mine, look her in the eyes, and playfully tell her in an affectionate voice like a loving parent tells a child: "You are my adopted little girl. I promise I'll take good care of you" and then I turn by upper body toward her and wrap both my arms around her waist, maybe holding her hands and petting her hair while telling her: "Don't worry little girl, I will keep you safe and raise you up to be good. You're such a sweetie." This made her go "aww" and basically melt in my arms, and made the touching very, very natural and comfortable.

Next stage: we're at my place and right as we enter, I told her there's cider in the fridge if she wants a drink. She told me she brought a BOTTLE OF WINE! In my mind, bottle of wine means I WANT TO GET DRUNK AND FUCKED, so great sign. We drink, chat, I start escalating and within like 15min we're kissing and it's all good, because we obviously had chemistry and I got her to admit it verbally a few hours later by saying stuff like: "tell me how much you like me. Tell me what attracted you about me"

But everything up from this point was LMR from hell. I had to arouse her dozens of times during 4-5 HOURS in different ways to get her horny enough to take her pants part-way down including slow dancing+groping, rubbing my naked body against her clothed body, biting and licking her stomach, ears, tons of cuddling and making out, slowly peeling up her shirt just enough that I could lick and massage her tits, dry-humping, rubbing her crotch until she was soaking through her jeans. She stopped me with "c'mon now, Horny" at least 20 times at which point I took a step back, and continued escalating later. At one point I put my clothes on and was acting offended at her resistance and did a fake-takeaway saying: "I'm done with this shit". Then she apologized and warmed up a bit.

She also verbally threw me nearly ALL the shit-tests in the book like "you're a crazy maniac, this is such a stupid idea, you just want me for sex, we've only known each other for 3h, I just don't do stuff on the 1st date, I'm not a whore, I just wanna cuddle, I've had enough pleasure now"! Damn, my brain still hurts this day from trying to mind-fuck her to get over her stupid logical resistance. I tried everything: ignoring, calling her out on her BS, changing the subjects, re-framing, kissing her to shut her up, take-aways, guilting, misinterpretation, arousing her more, yanking her pants down, setting her body in the position that I wanted it, taking a step back, convincing, saying "please", telling her to stop analyzing and trust her emotions etc.

After like 5h when I FINALLY got my fingers inside her pussy (though she still had pants half-way down + shirt on), I noticed that only 1 finger fit there comfortably. She said it hurts when I put in 2 and rubbed it. Then she got visibly sad and told me she has a medical condition which makes her pussy not open up. I mean, it was soaking wet, but she said she doesn't remember the last time she's fucked anyone. Have you guys ever encountered this?? She said she orgasms only by rubbing her pussy but not inserting fingers.  I symphatized and comforted her in many ways and then suggested handjob, BJ and even anal lol.

In the end though, she whispered things she liked about me in my ear, licked the tip of my dick and let me fondle her nice, soft ass as I masturbated and blew a big load on her hand lol! She seemed to enjoy that, and I told her that cum is a good hand lotion. I thought: OK, she's fucking hot and this will help me get over my sexual anxiety.

Took this smiling beauty to a taxi and we talked about meeting again  ;D

Ok, just wanted to give you my perspective.

About the LMR, good job, you didn't give up! Be aware that sometimes you'll find girls that secretly love being manhandled (giving innocent look, "fake" verbal/physical resistance, moaning etc) and you go like "WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME HAHA, LETS DO THIS SHIT", it may be the primary thing that turns them on and you go all soft Casanova like an idiot haha. I screen women for this by grabbing their jaw, hair and throat EARLY, saves a lot of time trying to be smooth and tactical, I'm blitzkrieg.

I always appreciate hearing your perspective. If you weren't so active in my thread, where would I be and who would I have to talk to haha?

Maybe this girl would've loved to be manhandled cos she kept bending her head back a lot, exposing her neck, and of course moaned when I touched/bit/licked her in the right spot. I did grab her throat lighty. And I did try yanking her pants down many times - she held onto them tightly and resisted verbally, also giggled every now and then, so it was not a hostile situation by any means. I repeatedly asked her "do you trust me?" and I got her to verbally admit it at some point of the escalation.

And I manhandled and set her body in different positions and kept turning her around to expose her ass and pussy when she just wouldn't let go of those goddamn jeans as I tried to pull them down. I think going any further would have been too forceful. She said: "you're like a crazed animal in heat" so that gives you an idea of how forcefully I went after my desires and pushed my face in between those lovely ass cheeks as soon as I uncovered them and smelt her pussy juices with my nose.

A few days ago you were moaping, saying you had no prospects for women... and now this. Sounds like a succes to me bud...

Don't take it the wrong way though we've all been there before, I know I have been. Just remember this next time you feel down and feel that you have nothing going for you. It's usually always gonna be irriational thinking, especially for a motivated guy like urself who is putting in constant effort.

If you were sitting in your basement living on cheatos it would be reasonable to have those thoughts. I honestly doubt there are any guys on this site who "have nothing going for them"

ssk08: thanks, bro!

Dickie: Thanks for the encouragement. I'm not putting in constant effort in cold approaching now - I'm reading a lot of self-improvement stuff and doing meditation, cold showers etc. to try and fix my inner game/mind/depression/low self-esteem. The focus of a man's life should be self-improvement, chasing your dreams, developing your skills and contributing something to the world, not just getting women and yet after years of "studying pickup" like it's a school subject I still spend too much on the computer reading and studying "how to get women". Its frustrating.

Life can be difficult when one has low self-esteem. I think my main problem is LSE, and I need to do something to fix it, and get my act/life together. I don't know whether or not I'm gonna do lots of daily cold approaches anymore. I should rather build a social life outside of cold approaching. I currently don't know how to do that.

I'm so behind other people my age in life experience and I feel overwhelmed by eveything I have to learn. But like Chris said earlier, I must focus on the things I've achieved so far. I just can't feel happy about them right now, unfortunately.

EDIT: Sorry, I deleted something I said about comparing myself to others cos it was useless and no one wants to share my pain, OK, I get it. I have to let go of my pain and then women will find me attractive as per this article: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?5992-Dreams-Fantasies-Visualisations-Affirmations

Horny,

Nobody is saying that you should dedicate youre life to chasing women etc etc

But being able to date and fuck attractive woman should be a priority for EVERY man who has never had success in this field. As important as getting a job etc, chasing your dreams. If you can't fuck a woman, you might never pass on your genes to the next generation.

Getting good at picking up chciks is the least a man can do for himself.. after you're good at that, then you can dedicate time to life.

I've had enough 26 years of a sub par existence, lonely and hoping chicks pick ME up, instead of me walking up to them and getting them in my bed.

Why I'm at a low point/feeling lost right now and need some guidance:

STEP1: October 7th I realized after 200 approaches and 1 lay that I'm wasting my time and gaining social rejection by cold approaching at low success %ratio:
http://goodlookingloser.com/forums/index.php?topic=359.msg3365#msg3365

STEP2: Then I started seriously reading Aaron Sleazy and considering his advice on building social cirles and doing warm approaches. This made me almost completely stop cold approaching for the past 11days or so.

STEP3: My FB "broke up" with me after we had fucked twice, and 2 girls who I thought would arrange dates with me are not responding to my txt. So, right now I have 0 pussy prospects.

STEP4: I have no hobbies where I meet girls and don't really intend to do that because I need to do stuff at home like contribute on different online forums and practise my music and try to make that my career, because I have no real "career" or "mission" or direction in my life, and that's making me feel empty inside and probably contributes to my on-and-off depression and erectile dysfunction when I'm fucking a girl and I'm not on top.

My dream was to build a career as a composer and a musician doing many different types of music and playing the guitar and keyboard, but what stopped me was laziness and living in an apartment that's way too small to set up my home studio. I've been wanting to move for 1 year but fear that I won't find an apartment because there's too many people looking for one in my city so I haven't even tried to find one. INSANITY, I KNOW.

"Without a conscious life purpose a man is totally lost, drifting, adapting to events rather than creating events. Without knowing his life purpose a man lives a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent, or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex".

- The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida

STEP5: After reading Personalpowermeditation forums I've understood the link between my mood and how much girls like/are interested in me. This can be proven by reading "Tramadol journals" a guy's experience using a mood-elevating pain killer that makes girls super interested in him. It makes total sense that because I often feel like a wounded person deep inside, basically no girls wanna be with me because they feel aversion to my fucked-up state of mind, flattened affect and detachment to people/socializing hiding below the surface of my personality that is a result of massive social rejection and failure to get my needs met and succeed in gaining status/validation from guys and girls over the 26 years of my lifetime.

Therefore, I must stay off (cold) approaching women and suffering more social rejection until I fix my life. This is going to take tremendous effort and is much more than just "knowing what to say" or "screening more chicks". I need to gain a source of validation in life that is NOT WOMEN, because Illuminatus says we must all get our validation from somewhere.

STEP6: I feel like I've failed with women because I have to go chasing them on the street like a hungry dog that doesn't get fed and I can't build a social circle, I can't develop real, deep friendships with men, and I need to withdraw from society with all its fucked-up values like working 8h a day. If I did that I'd have no energy or time to pursue any of my hobbies, interests, projects or women. If I don't cold approach every day, I might not talk to people for days and days. I basically see 1 group of friends 1-2 times a week, and other days I'm alone if I'm not with women. I feel disdain for women and their two-faced lies and superficiality. And I hope some girls would just give me validation and make me feel good about my ability to attract women...

I could say that I'm basically a "secret schizoid":

"These people may present themselves with an interactive, engaging personality style which contradicts the timidity, reluctance, or avoidance of the external world and interpersonal relationships. Secret schizoids also present themselves as interested, socially available, and participate in interacting in the eyes of the observer, while at the same time, the secret schizoid is is apart, emotionally withdrawn, and sequestered in a safe place in his or her own internal world".
http://www.secretschizoid.com/2011/04/definition-of-secret-schizoid.html

"Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy. Affected individuals may also demonstrate a simultaneous rich, elaborate, and exclusively internal fantasy world"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder

BTW, I don't want to view myself as a victim, and I haven't given up! I feel happy when I challenge my fears like when I did the AA drills, got my first lay, went on a couple dates etc. I exercise 3-4 times a week, I meditate 1-2 times for 20mins every day, I eat a pretty healthy diet with vegetables, I get plenty of omega-3 from 2 tablespoons of fish oil, Vitamin-D @ 5000IU per day, I try to socialize more, I sleep 8h and I sometimes wake up once during the night. Doctors haven't found anything physically wrong with me: they just want to treat my depression with SSRIs, which are a dangerous drug that I will never take, because I've read all about the negative sides online from real users.

Step 1 = this is why most people quit and never speak to strangers again, but it was never a part of their lives its just something they do. Arguably, they weren't serious about it in the first place. The ones that don't get better so its 3-6 out of 100. The interactions are short, so it shouldnt take a super long part of your day. If you tag 5 girls of 100, potentially you can get laid via cold approach every day of your life.

Low percentages of lays, if youve beating AA is almost completely a looks/style issue. We should start requiring people post pictures, because frankly it's arguably the most important thing after you beat AA.

Sleazy's 'cold approach is useless' is for community dorks that don't improve their looks & style and have mundane lives. No girls are interested in them for that reason. I agree with with him on that demographic of student, it's useless. But that's the furthest thing from that type of person we are creating here.

Put together some short term goals (just 1-2), work on those, as well as your looks/style. Talk to a few girls a day... it doesn't have to be ALL or NOTHING. I do agree that these low-lows should be addressed ASAP.

do you compose music?? If not, you need to start ASAP. Frankly you need to plan on doing it for the rest of your life, every day of your life. Simply trying some new things (jump out of a plane, learn to ___, do new shit) would do you some good.

goto this site: www.meetup.com
make friends in your area.

look into Kratom-- im serious, it'll put you into euphoric bliss, I can do anything/fuck any girl.. any time of the day it'll also help you stop analyzing and start doing. btw-- tramadol is fucking awesome too.

If you do 'stop' talking to random girls, I'd still like you to stick around here. The fact of the matter is -- you want to, and perhaps when next spring comes around, you'll be feeling better about things. Just remember, you'll be starting over but hopefully you'll just be happier.

I don't necessarily feel that you fall into these categories, but maybe some things in here apply
http://www.goodlookingloser.com/2012/09/22/guys-that-should-not-start-approaching-women/

if we had an in-house program this is what i'd do with you
1) get you into the best shape of your life/ PE (over 6 months), while making new friends on Meetup.com or getting a 'social job' as a bartender, server, something... compose music
2) Continue in the gym, cut back on work, do AA Drills, keep doing music (4months)
3) once you beat AA- cut back the gym, still work, go out EVERY night with your new friends/alone and meet women, keep doing music (5months)

on that plan
you'll beat your AA
you'll probably fuck some women (especially in the final 5 months)
you be in great shape
you'll have adequate or better social skills
you'll be composing music, nearly everyday

once you get 2-3fuckbuddies, then you can decide what you really want to do in your life

Dude if you do write and compose music get on that shit. Getting into music zones and composing is one of the only things that put me in a mood to get out and do stuff. I would be a depressed wreck of a man without my studio and guitars. If you ever need advice on studio stuff or any kinds of setups please feel free to hit me up. I record bands for a living.

Phil: You are so right about the music thing. It's the only thing I know how to do well, and I SHOULD make it #1 in my life, even over women in order to be fulfilled and happy.

Chris: Thank you. Your words really made me think about what I need to do to fix my life and that continuing to give less than 100% in life will make me stay unhappy. Cold approaching hasn't become an integrated lifestyle for me yet cos I normally stay in my house all day. I have to specifically go out to "do them" and that's worse than if I do them when I'm out anyway.

I certainly don't want to have a mundane life, but right now it feels like it on days when I don't see any friends or meet new ppl, which is most days of the week. In the near future, I wanna try: creating meetup.com groups, improv or acting classes, finally setting up my POF profile, exploring more social events and pubs and parties in my city in general with an open mind.

I certainly wish I could get my hands on Kratom and Tramadol without getting into trouble. I'll ask my... doctor. For now I have Phenibut.

I will continue talking to new and old girls with the thought of making it more INTEGRATED as a LIFESTYLE and try to get different reference experiences in order to learn how to be motivated by the REWARD instead of PAIN: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?5992-Dreams-Fantasies-Visualisations-Affirmations

I'm in decently good shape now, I'm doing a daily PE routine 2on/1off with Hydromax and manual stretching+jelqing, I'll try and move to a bigger apartment soon so I can create music because that makes my life meaningful.

That is awesome man some fellow musicians as well. Yeah man honestly whenever i had a situation with a chick that didn't go the way i wanted it to, I would get really fired up. In most recent times i either wasn't aggressive enough or didn't overcome LMR or whatever it was. Then when they would get all cold on my would make things worse. However thank god for music, because i would then channel that "burn" or "sting" to write a song on the guitar. I've done that with 2 chicks over the last 2 weeks. Either way where i ever see, talk, screen or fuck these chicks. I created something beautiful out of "pain" If you have the gift for it my friend i encourage you to channel it.

BTW to philthebeard, what programs/advice/ counsel can you give on recording or getting started. I've been focusing lately ion just getting my guitar skills up and then playing live, right now i play for friends, but i mean venues soon. But in terms of recording what can you recommend!!

That is awesome man some fellow musicians as well. Yeah man honestly whenever i had a situation with a chick that didn't go the way i wanted it to, I would get really fired up. In most recent times i either wasn't aggressive enough or didn't overcome LMR or whatever it was. Then when they would get all cold on my would make things worse. However thank god for music, because i would then channel that "burn" or "sting" to write a song on the guitar. I've done that with 2 chicks over the last 2 weeks. Either way where i ever see, talk, screen or fuck these chicks. I created something beautiful out of "pain" If you have the gift for it my friend i encourage you to channel it.

BTW to philthebeard, what programs/advice/ counsel can you give on recording or getting started. I've been focusing lately ion just getting my guitar skills up and then playing live, right now i play for friends, but i mean venues soon. But in terms of recording what can you recommend!!

PM me bro and we can talk all about it

I feel disappointed that LMR girl from date #4 cancelled our date today when I called her to talk about what we're gonna do. She said she has come down with a cold/flu and her throat hurts and she feels weak. She sounded stuffy. And I don't know if she's lying or not, and how to find out, she didnt apologize or sound enthusiastic. We were supposed to meet in 4 hours, and she's not taking the day off work or anything so she's not that sick, I'd guess.

How do I know if I should've just said "fuck that, let's just meet for a quick drink anyway" or something? Problem is, if she feels sick, we're not gonna have sex.

PS. If u say "she just wasn't DTF. go fuck 10 other women" yeah, I know, easier said than done.

UPDATE: Now she suggested we meet for coffee before she heads out of town this evening. Ok, fine. We'll fuck later. I need the practise

I think you are doing fine, the majority of guys in that aren't good with women dont get dates for like 6 months (not necessarily guys here)... its cliche but try to look at the stuff you've accomplished and the progress you've made rather than what you haven't done yet