TOPIC: It's my life, and it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever.

I don't know man.Everyone always says that desperation is a turn off and girls can pick up on all this stuff and there is some truth to that.But really unless you are acting like a total weirdo or extremely anxious I think you can be kind of desperate/weird and still get tons of ass.I have gotten laid before even with extreme social anxiety and plenty of weirdness.I used to pull 2 girls a month being like that and I wasn't even that great looking at the time.The girls were average.If you are good looking + hit the numbers hard + aggressive I don't see how you cannot be getting anything AT ALL.

Girls are not mind readers and they will give you plenty of lee way when they think you are hot and are DTF.That's been my experience at least.

You might just be getting highly unlucky lately too.Especially if you've succeeded before.

Also do you only hit up girls who are extremely hot?That can be a factor too.That has always been a waste of time from my experience unless your looks are really on point.

That's my 2 cents.

Horny wrote: It's possible I hold subconscious self-limiting beliefs. And I'm disappointed in my life cos it doesn't feel meaningful. I don't fit the definition of depressed, though. I still go after what I want in life, but I have little DIRECTION. No big dream, no career, nothing that makes me excited to get up from bed in the morning.

Don't get caught in this "I search for my big dream/career"-shit, there isn't such a thing.

Real Life:
TEMPORARY DREAM/GOAL --> done that --> NEW TEMPORARY DREAM/GOAL --> done that --> etc.

It's always about the journey, not about the goal.

I once was about 300lbs. Now I am at 180. I was happy for approx. one week. Then I've set a new Dream/Goal.
I am not happy that I was at 180lbs, I am happy and proud that I've mastered the journey.

Ahh, that would be so hard to do because I'm so immersed in following and learning from all the top guys around the world, the guys who're living the dream: women, money, travel etc.

Don't get caught in this.
For several years I read book over book. It made me lazy.
You don't need knowledge, you have to TAKE ACTION.

For momentum, read some layreport (5mins) and then TAKE ACTION immediately.

I like this. Something changes inside you, and that changes your external results. Yeah, I've probably been in this state/frequeny of LOVE for short periods of time but have no idea how to get there again. Maybe daily meditation.

You do not need this state. Don't wait for the perfect moment (which will never come).
You are wasted and drunk? Don't take this excuse for not TAKING ACTION.
Drink some water, watch a motivational clip and go out.

If I had to name one reason for all my problems in life, I think it comes down to emotional health.

If I had to name one reason for all your problems in life, I think it comes down to overanalyzing and excusing.

You have this goal. Go out, take massive action. Talk to girls. Screen them. Evaluate.
Next day: Go out, take massive action. Talk to girls. Screen them. Evaluate.
And so on. Modify the fundamentals (Looks, Social Freedom, Killer Instinct).
Become a Go-Getter. Happiness will come.

No, it will not be comfy.
It's like taking a cold shower. At the first moment there is this disgusting, uncomfortable feeling rising.
Your balls are shrinking, you want to stop it. BUT after mastering this moment, you are proud.
You won against your inner voice, you're a winner.

That's the mindset of a winner.
You are feeling uncomfortable, but you do it anyway.
Don't let not being in state stop you from reaching your goals.

I think it's time you look at the real issue here man (and I'm going to make an assumption, so be ready for it) Also, bear in mind that this is coming from a guy who is pretty successful with women nowadays, so I'm giving you the perspective of someone who realized that it's not going to necessarily change your overall sense of happiness and satisfaction (but that really depends on what meaning you make out of getting laid a lot - for me it became fairly insignificant in value compared to true self and life satisfaction, which I now believe has to come from within)

I don't mean any disrespect with what I'm going to write here, but I can relate, and it sounds like you are an unhappy person man. It sounds like you're very hard on yourself, and it sounds like you have a hard time just being happy/content with what you have.

To put it simply, you suck at feeling good.

I write this, because I've been there. In fact I'm still there a little, but I'm getting more and more positive every single day. And my life is changing in all areas for the better as I do.

Basically man, you need to work on being more happy, just for the sake of being happy. Not by going out and getting goals, because that's the biggest lie in the world, that you need something outside of yourself, to make you feel happy and satisfied in this moment.

That's bullshit.

The truth is (from my experience anyway) that you can decide you are going to feel a little bit of something good (gratitude, love, peace, joy are the main ones) in this moment, just because you have a choice.

Tell me, can you think of any time in your past right now, that you have felt grateful, felt loved, felt at peace, or felt joyful? (if you say you can't, then you just need to persist and decide that you really want to find something good within yourself, and call it up, and keep persisting until you can do that. Once you have found a memory that brings up a positive feeling in you, I ask you to try and "pulse" that feeling a little bit, by pulse, I mean feel it a little, over and over. You can do this on even the smallest level of positive emotion, and it will start to really change the way you feel.

It's proven now in studies that a little bit of positive emotion felt often during the day is more effective for overall mood change, than big ups here and there. Consistent low level good feeling is what you are aiming for.

Because I've had similar issues in my past with being very negative, I've spent a LOT of time studying positive emotions, positive emotional psychology, etc, a lot of which is very ground breaking, and very new science.

I now spend anywhere from 1-3 hours per day (say 7-20 hour per week) studying all I can on positive emotional psychology, etc, etc.

I highly recommend you start with this book, as it's a great science backed resource, and will help you build your belief in this work.

www.amazon.co.uk/Positivity-Groundbreaki...timist/dp/1851687904

Also, I would start following these guys, a lot of great free information on the latest work in positive emotion psychology:

www.thepositivemindblog.com/

Hope it helps, If you take this stuff seriously, I think you could really turn your whole perspective (life) around.

Good luck bro

Horny try to focus on feeling as good as you can right now, or at minimum always be focused on feeling "better" then where you currently are.

Thank you guys for your support, I'll reply to your comments a bit later.


July 18th 2014 - Went out of my comfort zone to hit on 14+ beach babes - 2 numbers.


I figured that since I want to go tan outside I might as well pass the time hitting on bikini babes, and that's what I did. The (popular and crowded) beach was probably the last place for me to conquer during daygame, and now I've overcome that limitation/fear too

After years, I'm finally OK enough with my body, my style/clothing and in my womanizing skills to hit on girls on the beach without feeling awkward.

I was wearing just my plimsolls and well-fitting shorts. Sunglasses too, but I showed my eyes to all the chicks at first. I got complimented on my arm/hand veins by a hot blonde

I scoped around the beach to see where the best bodies were but then decided to stay near the cafe and the perimeter so I won't be seen as a suspicious guy walking all across the beach doing something that the lifeguards would have a reason to become concerned / alarmed about.

Some girls with BFs still wanna keep talking to me cos I can provide emotionally stimulating/interesting conversation, and I sometimes get caught up in that, but like I said in my last post, I shouldn't waste my breath on non-prospects. This is an area of improvement for me.

POSITIVE OUTCOMES - 2 NUMBERS: I was lucky enough to run into one teenage blonde who was kinda "meh" but gave her number, and then one adorable short brunette with above-average tits who seemed keen, MMMMM.

I did one dumb thing that a girl could have reported to the lifeguards if she felt very uncomfortable about it - I told a busty teen girl who was with her girlfriend to show her nipple cos it would "make my day". She was just "oh, I can't believe you, you're 25 and you're still immature to say that kind of stuff". But she wasn't getting loud or anything, so it was no problem. But it made me realize that on the street, you can get away with murder - and some crazies probably have - but on the beach, you gotta use some common sense and not arouse suspicion.

I see no reason not to hit up the beach more in the upcoming weeks although I feel a little out-of-place there cos you can't approach as anonymously and discreetly as on the street cos EVERYONE on the beach and the cafe is sitting/lying on the same spot and sees you, although most don't care. Fuck if I care, I've got nothing to lose.

Lots of people offering advice here. Personally I think your heading in the right direction and keep in mind 15 rejections in a row is very common. Most girls are not sexually available. Def. try to stay positive and take a break if needed, but, at the end of the day, experience and time in the field will cure all IMO.

Man_Up hit a lot of what I was trying to say dead on.

When I am reading your posts, it sounds like I wouldn't even enjoy being around you. I am saying all this from love, because I have been there before (my mind every now and then still wants to drift that direction). It sounds like you are constantly beating the living shit out of your own self. Instead of raping your own self with every rejection, just TRY as an experiment to see if it gets you RESULTS (So just try it for a few weeks and test it out YOURSELF) talking positive to yourself.

Always look at what you did GOOD in each interaction. Always pump up your state. Keep focusing on what you are doing right and going out there hitting it hard and trust me, you will come off a completely different way.

Seriously, one time I was talking to this chick and it was awkward as hell. Kept seeing her randomly with other friends of mine and she would never even hug me because I was so awkward. I was beating myself up for a second, then stopped and said, "What the hell man. Who gives a shit. Yeah, this girl makes me a little nervous and awkward because she reminds me of my Ex that I still haven't gotten over."

Next time I saw her I said, "You remind me of my ex. It always makes me feel a little awkward being around you." She laughed and we started talking. Now she digs me.

Make sense?

I accepted myself and once I did that, she did too.

Leopard wrote:

What would happen if you slowed down a second with women, stopped thinking about them altogether, and for just a month focused on yourself?

The problem with saying that is that you assume that getting women (i.e. having a fulfilling love life & sex life) is not important to feel good. That is NOT true at all.

In my life I have NO problems except : my love life & sex life is not fulfilling. That's right : that's my ONLY problem. So if I fix it, I'm happy and if I do not I'm not happy. Simple.

I tried (when I was a virgin) to "focus on yourself, bro !" It was just burying my head in the sand and ignoring the problem. Period. I would just try to deny my sexual needs.

We are born with social needs, we are born with romantic needs, we are born with sexual needs. It's just like hunger and thirst. If you do not satisfy them, you can NOT be happy.

Horny, I don't know if hookers are legal in your country but give it a try. And at the same time, you continue to hit on chicks till you find a woman that you like and likes you. You already got laid, so you know that you can get laid : it's just a matter of time and persistence.

At the same time it's true that you should not derive all your happiness from women. You know, often I feel like Edward Norton in Fight Club : my life has no sense. Often, I like to watch this movie. "Losing all hope was freedom."

Leopard, that is why my post was directed to him, not YOU. Also why I said, "This doesn't mean to stop going out and hitting on chicks."

Yeah, you gotta go through that phase of hitting everything up. Always be motivated.

The thing is, a lot of us probably just need some god damn therapy or something. I bet if a lot of guys simply dealt with their hardcore emotional issues we would start getting way more chicks. Remember, NORMAL people don't even cold approach and get lots of chicks. You don't have to be hardcore to do it (but OBVIOUSLY still be hardcore and get extreme results, I'm not saying don't go for it)

For me, it was a big change when I just accepted myself and went for women from a place from WITHIN instead of from "holy shit society tells me I gotta hit up chicks and if I don't bang 100 by the time I'm 25 I'm a LOSERRRR!"

There is a MASSIVE DIFFERENCE between these two scenarios. Both for my own emotional health and how a girl will react to me:

Scenario 1:
Mindtalk - 'Oh shit... there's a hot chick there. fuck. I gotta go talk to her to do my 10 approaches... fuck i feel a little nervous. come on you fucking pussy just go talk to her be a man you cunt. you aint nervous. I'm hardcore... I gotta prove myself...'

"Hey I'm uh TJ"
"Uh, hi....."
Girl feels creeped the fuck out because she can tell I'm using her as a way to validate myself and projecting all of my insecurities onto her.

Scenario 2:
Mindtalk - 'Oh damn... There's a hot girl... She's looks interesting. I'm kind of nervous. This is going to be fun. Hell yeah. It's ok buddy. Just start walking towards her and it'll happen.'

"Hey. I saw you standing there and felt a little nervous to come talk to you. You seem attractive."
"Oh hi, thank you."
Girl trusts me because she can tell I'm being honest and being driven from within. If I keep moving forwards and accept my sexuality and she turns me on, she'll let me keep going and we'll have sex.

Does that make sense?

Also, this isn't new shit. Just look at Chris's recent posts. "Nervous Guy Game" is exactly doing this.

TJGoodLooking wrote: It is when I dug down deeper and started uprooting my emotional health and getting a better life that I started to see results.

I'm looking forward to your success brother. You have a lot of drive.

What would happen if you slowed down a second with women, stopped thinking about them altogether, and for just a month focused on yourself? Creating happiness for yourself? Maybe even seeing a therapist? Support group? Deal with those father issues? Get hobbies? Sit in a room by yourself for a day to get more in touch with your feelings? Really dig down into what you want as a way to make money?

I don't know your situation, and it is your choice. But Maybe you need a reset or a little break.

I all but stopped talking to women in Winter 2013 & 2014. Result = depression. You're right, emotional health is essential and I'm working on it. But I have plenty of free time so I don't have to stop hitting on girls or anything to focus on creating happiness for myself and improving my life. I've been to therapies and support groups but I don't need them now. I need a group of friends that I see regularly, and that's what I want to build! The process of cold approach naturally forces me to face & uproot my emotional health because one of the most challenging things I've ever done in my life is to build satisfying relationships & friendships.

@Terminator: Thanks, I'll take this into consideration.

@Leopard: I am the same way as you in the sense that when I have a fulfilling love & sex life, I feel that life is "all good", I feel serenity, I feel at peace, confident etc. This really is THE missing piece to my happiness & overall life satisfaction - women. This is why I spend a huge amount of my time trying to really fix this shit

The most beautiful girl I had sex with was a Czech hooker/professional/escort, but I don't wanna go that route again until I'm older. And I have other sources of happiness, but frankly - they don't even compare. I don't think it's even a shame to say that women are THE greatest source of happiness for man Since nature/biology very strongly meant us TO BE TOGETHER, so yes... when I'm APART from women I'm attracted to or can't have a relationship with them.... I feel bad, neutral or less than happy about my life. When I'm WITH them, CLOSE TO them, INSIDE them, in a relationship with them... I feel JOY, I feel PLEASURE, I feel HOPE!

@jakeD: thanks for giving your 2 cents. Don't worry, I don't have social anxiety and/or social autistic assburgers weirdness. I do have my idiosyncrasies though cos I put my real personality out there I don't believe in a girl being above my league since I'm a MAN and she's a WOMAN who obviously needs a MAN, but I hit on girls I'm interested in investing my time in: above-average chicks and up.

@opsyn69: Yeah, I'm taking action, documenting my dating life here. No more KJ since 8/2012. Thanks for your encouragement and words of wisdom.

Man_UP wrote: I don't mean any disrespect with what I'm going to write here, but I can relate, and it sounds like you are an unhappy person man. It sounds like you're very hard on yourself, and it sounds like you have a hard time just being happy/content with what you have.

Yup. I have often been envious of smiling, happy people cos most of the time, I just can't achieve that feeling state. But when I'm spending time with a woman I like and the feeling is mutual - that is my greatest happiness in life (at this point in my life). No way around it. That's why my full-time job at this stage in my life is to learn how to build awesome relationships with women (and friends). I probably won't get to the next phase of evolution/progress in my life before I do that.

Basically man, you need to work on being more happy, just for the sake of being happy. Not by going out and getting goals, because that's the biggest lie in the world, that you need something outside of yourself, to make you feel happy and satisfied in this moment.

I highly recommend you start with this book, as it's a great science backed resource, and will help you build your belief in this work.

www.amazon.co.uk/Positivity-Groundbreaki...timist/dp/1851687904

Also, I would start following these guys, a lot of great free information on the latest work in positive emotion psychology:

www.thepositivemindblog.com/

Hope it helps, If you take this stuff seriously, I think you could really turn your whole perspective (life) around.

Good luck bro

I fully believe in the power of positivity even though it's hard to get there now. That's why I got this book on Kindle and I'm 20% through it. Thanks for the reco, I appreciate it! Today I greeted & complimented some random people because being friendly increases my positivity

@FS-Ronin: What I'm going through is a problem within me, not something that'll just "fix itself", but something I actually have to take responsiblity for. In this case, I must change to become a better version of myself.

@TJGoodLooking: Makes sense, bro. I actually don't beat myself up over any rejections. I feel fine out there on the field talking to pretty girls. What hurts me when I go to bed at night is that I'm not getting my need for love & sex and I'm always alone when the lights go off.

For most of my life, these needs have gone unfulfilled and I've lived over a decade of no friends, no hope of getting women is sight, so inner game wise, I'm worse than those other guys who had girls around, had hope, had social competence etc.

Always look at what you did GOOD in each interaction. Always pump up your state. Keep focusing on what you are doing right and going out there hitting it hard and trust me, you will come off a completely different way.

Exactly! I am shifting my focus on what's I'm doing right and on the outcome I want to achieve. As you think, so shall you become! I'm reading "Maximum Achievement" by Brian Trace to re-inforce this winning mindset.

I'm not at all like Scenario 1 guy, not even like Scenario 2. I don't need to think much before going up to a girl - usually just a couple of things I noticed about her or that make her different from other girls. Then it's all free-flow, living in the moment, being in the now.

20th July 2014 - 1 number and a 10-min phone convo that brought me peace of mind/resolution.


Number close:
At the bus I saw this cute little redhead with sexy red nails. She had a few skull accessories and a tat that I teased her about: "what is that? it's scaring me, it's the sign of a satan worshipper!".

We had great chemistry, we laughed, I felt positive, joyful emotions and enjoyed my time with her, she gave me a bag of blueberries she had picked from the forest, and we arranged to meet on Tuesday close to where we both live

10-minute phone conversation with the last girl I had a date with

This 26-yo brunette lightly freckled beauty from July 13th (she and I had a lovely 1st date with too much romanticism: kissing, cuddling, petting hair, her sitting on my lap at the park etc.) texted me she had decided to not see me anymore. At first I was pissed cos I felt it was ON, but today I calmed down, let all my anger go, and decided to talk to her on the phone like adults.

NOTE: The fact that she even answered the phone to explain her reasons for not wanting to see me anymore means she is a caring person, and I love that about her. I wouldn't call a woman like this a bitch.

I needed resolution/closure/understanding because I had become somewhat emotionally invested * BEWARE of becoming emotionally invested before sex! *

I'm glad I made the mature decision to not just express anger to her over txt but to have a 10-minute talk in order to get an answer to this simple question:

"Girlname, first of all, I'm not angry at you. I called you cos I needed to know how we went from "I'd love to go out with you" to "I don't think we match". What's the proess that lead to that? I want to hear your thoughts and feelings about that."

She was very friendly & respectful towards me, helped me understand women better and told me she didn't want to hurt me feelings and thought that telling me outright that she didn't think we were a match would be the respectful thing to do, and I sincerely told her: "It's sweet of you to consider other people's emotions too." I can hear her smiling as she's talking, and she replies: "Yeah, cos I'd really hate to act like a bitch or someone who hurts other people. [...] Some guys want to talk about this and some guys don't care, so when I didn't get a text back from you yesterday I wasn't sure how you reacted to it, but I thought that honesty is the best policy when it comes to these things"

She didn't play any games like perhaps younger chicks do and so, this is how she explained how she came to her decision from the time we spent together and from the things we said to each other: we're just different types of people with different goals, essentially. She is clearly planning ahead for the long term [read: monogamous relationship] whereas I live in the moment [read: just want to have fun and see where it goes]. It was good to hear it in her own words in order to get peace of mind and emotional closure.

See, my emotional investment wasn't huge after just 1st date, but I made the mistake of the thirsty noob : kissing, cuddling and petting too much before sex. When you do bonding-behaviors, it's a BIOLOGICAL FACT that you release oxitocin - the bonding chemical - and you literally bond the more you do it. The stronger the bond, the more you (can) get hurt when the bond breaks.

I have never been this thirsty/desperate before so this caught me by surprise.

Bonding on the 1st date is WAAAYYY too soon, so it's better to save it for AFTER SEX. Otherwise you're asking to get your feeling hurts if she decided you're not her type, after all.

Then at the end of the phone call I told her she should introduce me to her attractive single friends and by that point, we were both laughing about it together and I wasn't feeling serious and emotionally vulnerable like I was at the beginning of the call

I feel pretty relieved & serene after having an open, candid conversation with her, and glad she told me everything honestly. I asked her age, and she said 26, so yeah: that is the beginning of the age where the woman usually starts seeking a long-time partner to commit to slavery, sorry.... marriage & family.

Your phone call is really a good idea

Horny imagine how good it will be when you have the woman and women you desire in your bed at night and when you are alone.
FOCUS on how good you WILL FEEL and how happy you will be when you achieve this.
Do this throughout the day and before you go to bed at night.

Regardless if you have a woman or not in your life right now, you need to experience the positive emotions RIGHT NOW in this moment. Start using the law of attraction in your favor as opposed to not in your favor. I say this for one reason. ALL you are DOING is focusing on what you DON'T WANT, even though you may think you are focusing on what you want. What you want is to feel happy<

---

Once again all you are trying to do is feel good and happy. Now your "method" may be woman BUT, What if you keep doing this and you "GET a WOMAN" but she turns out to be as depressed with mental issues and now you have a basket case on your hands. Are you going to feel happy then?

By all means keep talking to woman but it's much easier when you can feel good about where you are right now, REGARDLESS of ANYTHING ELSE. Regardless if you have the woman, money, logistics blah blah blah. Just FEEL good now, imagine the woman or women you want and see yourself in your minds eye getting those women. Instead of going to bed curled up and pissed off/depressed go to bed saying I can't wait to have that sexy queen in my arms again. I know she is getting closer and closer to me, and boy will it feel good for me to release all of this built up passion I have.

I am not saying to ignore your feelings, just simply acknowledge but then turn your FOCUS to what you want and not what you don't want. You can't focus that much on what you don't want or don't have, put it in the affirmative. I

Focus on what you want and feel good about it and the results will manifest. Start using the law of attraction to bring in your life what you want as opposed to repelling it.

It all starts in the mind my friend.

As napoleon hill states who is the author of the law of success and think and grow rich states.... You become what you think about most of the time.
Also as henry ford put" Whether you think you can or think you can't either you are correct.
And of course my 2nd favorite by Napoleon hill "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, AND bring it's self to believe, it CAN achieve"

During the last 4 days, I've experienced increased positivity and happiness, and a near-SNL adventure with a Russian Lolita who lives in the apartment building right beside mine.

I have been reading the Kindle book "Positivity" that Man_Up recommended, taking ChuckiC's advise to focus on what you want in life etc., making an effort to choose a very positive interpretation for everything in my life, getting plenty of numbers now that I radiate more relaxation, joy and love I guess, more sun, a lot of B12 & B6 & TMG & Methylfolate & Boron & Chlorella & Spirulina detox and to lower homocysteine and heal mind and body, doing things I want, letting go of trying too hard with girls I suppose, and having an very lovely 1st date where we connected on many levels with "Blueberry girl" from July 20th

21st July: Whatsapped girls, traded a few pics that show my life such as a gym pic. Tried to set up dates but none happened today.

22nd July: 1st date With Blueberry girl - about 1h 40min

She's a joyful petite redhead with an fine ass that's above-average for her frame. But the BEST thing about her is zero rebellious attitude, zero testing, just pure love for me, which made me feel joy.

We walked to the beach/pier area together (not hand-in-hand because I don't wanna give too much BF signals) and sat there talking, drinking spring water, taking photos, hugging and kissing a bit but not too much like the last date etc. Our interests&lifestyles match to a large extent cos we're both health nazis who have high standards about the nutrition we put in our body, so we talked about that a whole lot. We also found out about each other's quirks which is a great way to be human to each other.

Aa we walked back, I let her feel the rush and excitement of a semi-dangerous situation with me (Mike of Danger & Play said that women wanna feel Danger and Play) when I grabbed her upper arm in a prisoner hold and told her to run across the street against the red light with me. I know that's mild but do you have better ideas to make her feel danger? I also talked/joked about breaking into a boat after midnight and emptying the wine cabin there lol.

At the end of the date, we were taking selfies in front of her door. She voluntarily put her hands on my shoulder in the posing, which no 1st date has done before. I loved that, because it showed me how she feels close & comfortable to me. Everything felt so natural that I told her something I learned from a wise man already mentioned in this post: "with you, this doesn't feel like work... this feels like a vacation." MUCH better than explicating: "I enjoyed my time with you. How about you?" Which I have been dorky enough to say in some past dates.

I had no intention to fuck her on the 1st date. I have every intention to fuck her on the 2nd date.

23rd July: near SNL with Russian neighbor

Number-closed a fine brunette that I Whatsapped with later that day. After she seemed really ON and invested by writing a LONG message, she apparently lost her sense of humor cos here's what made her block me:
ME: "well, your legs looked surprisingly strong for a woman, are you sure it's safe for me to say yes" [to her counter-suggesting we have a park adventure next week when she's back in town]
HER: "Huh? now your humor went over my head or I don't think that was humor at all. You're a mean person."

This girl had no problem with my sexual innuendos and my typical flirty sense of humor on the approach, now she's being a weirdo. OK: dork screened out.

10.40PM : I pulled 2 Belarussian tourists from the grocery store across the street to the garden/backyard of my apartment building cos they didn't want to come inside. I offered them beers, and we talked and laughed for 2 hours, after which it was past midnight and I suggested we go watch a movie at my place. No go. Then I walked with them a bit and suggested they show their big titties to me. No go. I wished them a nice trip!

1:30 AM: As I was walking back to my apartment, I spotted a cute petite redhead in my home street sitting all by her self, listening to music and drinking juice. She was a Russian Doll: the finest & most feminine of All Women On Earth . She had read Tolstoy & Dostoyevski and learned piano & violin. I'm not saying they're above being human, but they're something else when it comes to femininty & class. The majority of Finnish women are fucking brutes who secretly want to be the man in the relationship compared to them... ugh.

At first My Little Lolita seemed scared and out of words. She could hardly get 1 full sentence out. Not cos she was stupid but because she was a novice at Finnish. It was 1:30am and I was a big scary wolf approach her cos she was like 5'2-5'3 like an elegant little Russian ballerina with porcelain skin, light brown eyes that I could look at forever and childish pink nails. Her vulnerability turned me on.

The way she looked at me with "anime eyes" or "puppy dog eyes" was lovely - like one of the Japanese "Idols". She was giggly kinda like a little-girl. When she had trouble speaking Finnish, her frustration - which animated her whole upper body as she shook her head and arms - was adorable, and I put my strong tanned hand on her little shoulder and said: "It's alright, take your time, I understand everything you're saying".

I feel my most masculine and in control when the woman is like a frail little girl who is shy and insecure and then it's totally up to me to decide everything, teach her about the real world/serious stuff, tell her what to do and what not to do, reassure her, love her and sex her good so that she feels happy and she can count on me.


After maybe 10-15min and a LOT of intense & seductive eye contact, I suggested we have drink at my place. She wanted to give me her number and meet another day instead. I took it but continued the convo. Then I picked her up in my arms, put her down and kissed her soft lips. She said: "wanna come home?" all innocently, almost like a little virgin girl who doesn't understand all the implications of that. But I know she had some freak in her, cos she had a hickey / bite mark on her neck - "you can guess where that came from", she shyly said. I slowly put my arm around her waist and said: "let's go".

In the corridor, she started getting second thoughts / LMR. I said a variety of things and she seemed to yield, but only a little. After some 10mins, she still wouldn't get in the elevator with me, saying very sincerely: "we'll meet tomorrow, ok?". Maybe I was naive to believe this, but I was tired anyway and thought that since she wasn't drunk and we had not made out, it would be fine.

So we said goodbye. Then, 3am I get a text from her: "you have strong arms and an arousing smile " yes, she used the word: "AROUSING" . I thought: "eh... I'm dead tired, I'll see her tomorrow."

24th July - no text back from Russian Lolita but 2 new numbers before breakfast, both replied


When I woke up, I just made a very quick trip for food and got the digits from a 16-yo hot sporty blonde with a friendly attitude whose mother didn't mind me hitting her up, and then a 20-something shy/strange blonde musician girl who I walked to her home door cos she only lives like two blocks from me. My eye contact was so full of confidence and sexuality from yesterday's adventure with Russian Doll that this woman couldn't hold steady EC with me even though I lift her chin with my thumb and forefinger several times and said "look at me" in a calm but assertive way. Don't read this like: "LOOK AT ME!" cos that would be too much for a girl I've just met

I text Russian around 1pm:
" today after 7 movie night, I bring the drinks and movies, you bring your babushka and your lovely smile (: " babushka = grandmother

That's a shame she didn't reply cos I was looking forward to dominating her naked little body after the gym.

Even if we don't see again, I'm amazed that I could pick up almost a magical creature right from my street and be THIS close to having sex with her after less than 30 mins.