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I COLD APPROACHED A GIRL BUT DIDN’T ASK FOR HER NUMBER. SHE TOLD ME WHERE SHE WORKED. SHOULD I TRY TO GO SEE HER AT HER JOB AND TRY TO GET HER NUMBER? Please see the detailed story below…
A few days ago, I cold approached this beautiful girl while standing in a long line at Subway (the restaurant). She was in front of me in line, so I just tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hi" and started talking to her. I asked her if she worked around the area and if she was on lunch from her work. She said she was, and she volunteered to tell me that she worked at a Dentist's Office nearby and that she's a Dental Hygienist.
The line took a while to progress, so I talked to her a little bit about what she was getting, etc.. then I introduced myself and we shook hands.
Before she got to the cash register, I asked her if she wanted to stay for a few minutes and eat with me. She responded very positively, saying “I mean, I can..” But once she checked out, she left before I was finished paying. This might have been because it took ages to wait in line and she might have been late to get back to work.
The whole time we were talking her response was really good; she had a little smile on her face and seemed happy. She seemed to be acting as though she was attracted to me. Her energy, facial expression, and body language seemed to indicate that she was enjoying me talking to her. Her responses were positive and she even contributed a little to the conversation by asking me a question about where I worked (“Hook”…)
So here’s the thing: I didn’t ask her for her number. And she left. So right after, I felt this sinking, regretful feeling because I thought I’d never see her again. The issue is that I didn’t close. I would have been perfectly fine if she would have rejected me when I asked for her number, but now I’ll never find out because I can’t talk to her anymore.
Then I realized that she had told me where she worked. I think she even told me the name of the Dentist she worked for (which I forgot).
But I initially completely dismissed the idea of going to her work and trying to talk to her and ask for her number because I thought it would come off as creepy and stalker-ish.
So I wanted to ask you guys here on GLL what your thoughts are. Do you guys think I should just go try to see her at her job? Or do you think that’s a bad idea? I’ve thought about what the possible negative consequences could be, but it seems likely that the only bad thing that could happen is she would be weirded out, be mean and blow me off. In the worst case scenario, the management/Doctor might kick me out (very unlikely). If I do decide to try to talk to her at work, I’m going to be empathetic and call out the fact that I’m taking a big risk by going there and that it’s a bit unusual.
Have any of you guys ever tried to talk to a girl at her workplace, after having just met her elsewhere, like in this situation? If so, how did it turn out? Do you think I should?
I dont even have to read this big wall of text to know the answer to your question will be, "Go talk to more girls".
Yep, having now read all of it... The answer is still, you guessed it: go talk to more girls. Go back and ask for this girl's number, sure. But you wouldn't even be asking this question if you were hitting on more girls.
I think you guys are being a little harsh on this guy. It's easy to imagine how this situation might be confusing for someone new to approaching/getting laid. He clearly has a good head on his shoulders because he (correctly) assumed that doing this is extremely creepy, he just wanted a second opinion to make sure he wasn't overthinking things.
To be clear OP, you should not do this. You need to understand that MOST girls will be nice to you when you talk to them (just like you are probably nice to most people who talk to you). Some girls might even seem REALLY into you. It DOES NOT mean they are into you. A lot of girls are just really friendly girls who like talking, or they're feeling particularly good on that day or something. But they're still not available.
As Andy said, just talk to more girls. Keep an eye out for this one if you want, but after you talk to more girls you'll forget all about her. And if you think there's something there, get in the habit of asking for their number sooner rather than later.
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.
Thanks everyone for your advice and input. I really appreciate it.
SO THERE IS AN UPDATE TO THIS POST.... I tried Googling the Dental Office the girl was talking about, and there was one I thought was it. I looked it up on Google Reviews, and there were some pictures.
ONE OF THE PICTURES WAS A PICTURE OF THIS GIRL WITH HER HUSBAND AND 2 KIDS!
Apparently she is married to the Dentist. I was tripping out..btw, this girl looks like she is only 20 years old.
So this was actually a VERY good learning experience for me.
What Homes said in his reply is spot on. She seemed really nice and was happily interacting with me. But she was totally unavailable. So I will chalk this one up to experience.
…oh and damn, I’m definitely glad I didn’t go to her work. That would have been extremely embarrassing.
Radical wrote: Yeah as a good rule dont try to follow up an interaction that didnt produce a lead (ie a number or instagram).
This really gets into stalking, harassment territory quite quickly if you arent careful.
I agree that 95% of guys on this forum shouldn't talk to women again after they've already approached.
However, you can re-approach girls, and I've done it a few times, especially if the first one was bad.
If I hit up girls with some weak shit the first time, I'll say something like, "Hey, I came up to you the other day with some weak-ass bullshit because I thought you were pretty and I wanted to talk to you, but my mind wasn't in the right place, so it came off wrong."
I've gotten dates from this before.
But yeah, the shit this guy is describing is wack. Absolutely do not follow women to their workplace, on any circumstances, ever.
For most well-adjusted guys, there's nothing wrong with talking to her again. In fact, it's weird if you don't after you've seen each other, assuming some kind of rapport has been established.
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