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Thought I'd leave some thoughts on how my in person coaching with Andy went. He's cool with this, hope any other moderators are too.
First of all Andy is super chill in person which is obviously reassuring if you are showing up with latent anxiety (with regards to whatever). And if it's not obvious from the easily searchable forum history or the lengthy article he wrote titled 'proof' he is completely legit.
I had 3 hours:
First hour we grabbed a coffee and just talked about where I'm at and what my goals are. Covered a lot of shit in my past that my be causing any blockages I have in present. Most importantly he pushed me to set a concrete goal that may seem outlandish right now - 100 lays.
Following that agreed a list of smaller goals to lead to this (for example hitting Tinder hard for the majority of the lays). As much as the forum is useful for this it adds weight to say to someones face what you need to do and then promise to follow through - especially someone that is investing themselves in your success. I've personally fallen off the GLL forum bandwagon at least twice even though I had come back with the intention of staying honest.
I think hes still playing around with the questions he wants to ask new clients - and everyone will be different - but it was easy enough to discuss with him problems I have with regards to girls and anxiety. This is primarily because, in terms of the mental side of this, he has been through everything himself. He really understands, in more depth than anyone should have to, where you are coming from when you explain why you aren't approaching that girl over there when you should be.
In the second hour he curtailed the talk maybe sensing I was dragging it out a bit on purpose knowing he wanted to get me to approach girls next.
We then walked about central Melbourne with the intention of throwing me in the deep end. I had never cold approached in daytime any girl before this point. My only close experience to this had been getting up to week 3 of the AA programme, back in 2014.
I put up a chunk of resistance and we were walking around for 30-40 minutes. Andy kept talking to me the entire time even approaching a couple of girls to show the world doesnt end if you hit on someone. He also approached in specific situations when I brought up a particular fear - such as people around overhearing.
Eventually he picked a cute girl that walked past us and told me to go for it and I did: she said she wasnt single, I said no worries and I went back to find Andy. About 20 minutes later, after we'd had a decent talk about that success, he pushed me to approach another girl eating in the food court. She was actually a lot cuter than I has realised from afar but I still managed to get the basic guy line out. Again she said she had a boyfriend, cool no problem - bail. Results in CA dont matter to me right now with my anxiety as it is.
Andy pushed my for a 3rd but I did admittedly pussy out on that one, walked halfway towards a girl and then bailed. Hilariously Andy went up to approach her to prove nothing matters and her Tinder date shows up as he starts hitting on her.
Ultimately I think this was a very productive start. I know I'm going to have to put in a shit ton of effort from here on out but full credit to Andy for bringing me to a much further point on in just 3 hours of his time.
I've often felt my unwillingness to approach girls like this has meant I dont really belong on this forum.
Now I've actually got some useful experience and am hungry for more.
Cheers Andy and I know you'll be giving me a deserved virtual slap if I fail to push on from here.
If you can get to Melbourne Andy's in person coaching is worth seeking out and I will be having another session with him.
Big goal: 100 lays - so far 14/100
2019 tally: 8 (2 cold approach)
Stuff to do:
Stick to cut and gym schedule
Find a job/money
Awesome to hear you got some good use out of the session.
In person "training" really does help.
I remember when I first started out, I messaged Hollow who lived in Toronto and I bused there to just hangout with him, pick his brain. I was doing the AA program and I was on week 7, dude told me to just stop and approach and made me talk to some girls in the busy streets of Toronto. I felt like a million bucks and my confidence was raised.
Damn dude, didn't know you were going to be this thorough. That's really cool of you.
Yeah, I'm still figuring a few things out (like the questions I asked you). You were my first in-person client - the rest have all been Skype and email. I've mentored a few mates and coached them through the process of talking to girls, but that's obviously very different to an actual paid client. Still lots of improvements for me to make, which is exciting.
You really surprised me by hitting on a chick as quickly as you did - I expected it'd take at least an hour or two but you did it in 30 mins.
One-approach-a-day is definitely something you should keep up. My roommate and I have been doing it for a month now, and I've kept it up in the past for about a year. It's fucking brilliant because it'll keep you consistently making progress, and once it gets easy (and you can hit on the first girl you see within 5 minutes of leaving the house), it'll become effortless. After a couple weeks you'll legit be able to say "I'm a guy who talks to girls" and then from there we can snowball that into "I'm a guy who goes on dates with girls" and then "I'm a guy who gets laid".
"...he has been through everything himself. He really understands, in more depth than anyone should have to, where you are coming from when you explain why you aren't approaching that girl over there when you should be."
I think this is my main selling point, and should be more of my focus going forward with my coaching. I absolutely get why you feel it's weird to hit on a girl who's sitting down even though you just hit on one who was standing up - I get the overthinking, I get the anxiety, I get the insecurities, I get the fears, etc. I went through all that shit myself. I enjoy the part of coaching where I get to say, "I totally get your fears mate, and it's totally ok you have them. You're not fucked up - it's totally normal to be this insecure. Let's work through that together".
I love the look on people's face when I tell them "It's ok to suck at this". It's like a burden drops from their shoulders, a tonne of stress instantly dissipates, and they get to finally relax and let go of all that pressure. I wish someone had said to me "It's ok to be shit at this", but I'm so fucking glad I get to say that to other people now.
"I've often felt my unwillingness to approach girls like this has meant I dont really belong on this forum."
Yeah me too (in regards to myself). 99% of my lays have been online, but I feel like cold approach counts for more - hence me deciding to focus on that more now.
The 100 lays goal is doable in 2-3 years if you push yourself. Your success will snowball... at first just getting 1 lay will be hard, then before you know it you'll get a few, then a tonne, then you'll be having crazy 3somes and banging 5 girls in a week, etc. The hard bit is the bit right now where you don't have a lot of success to snowball off of. But things will pick up once you start getting a few successes under your belt.
@DashedHopes: You were so fucking adorable, I would have adopted you
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