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So I was out at the mall approaching girls a couple weeks ago. I approach one with her friend, and she lets me grab her arm, I do the whole "nice handshake you should be my bodyguard" thing, and she also invites me to touch her abs. So I'm thinking that this is going down. She's with her friend shopping so I take her number and leave.
I try to set up a meet up for that night but she's doing homework. I made my intentions pretty clear (for example I said "maybe I can help you procrastinate on your homework sometime") but then she said she just wants to be friends. I straight up told her it's strange that a girl would let me touch her abs, then give me her number and then just want to be friends. She said she has mostly guy friends so she's pretty comfortable with everything around guys. I was going to pass on her, but then she started talking to me a bit more and she legit seemed like she'd make a cool friend. So she asked to come over to play some video games. I had NO sexual intentions during this time, but after she left I kind of felt like she wanted it. My friend also said she seemed like she wanted my dick.
Met up at the waterpark with her and her friend yesterday. They make lots of sexual references around me and slap each other's ass a few times. I was tempted to slap her ass but I decided against it. This kind of confused me because I don't know if they're teasing me, if they're trying to say she likes me, or if they're just really goofy and open about it around each other.
She comes back to my place and we play some video games for a bit, then we go to a park to hang out and talk. We talk for hours. I'm not very good at reading people so I really have no idea if she's actually into me or not. Then I drive her home, give her a hug but she kinda turns her head away. I try to kiss her anyway (like a "fuck it might as well try" thing) and she declines.
I feel like I'm getting a lot of mixed signals (what kind of girl goes to the park alone with you and talks with you for 2 hours and doesn't want you??) but in hindsight maybe I should have been more aggressive escalating earlier while she was at my place or at the park. Normally I'd escalate but her explicitly saying she wants to be friends makes me hesitant. But girls lie about that stuff all the time (I've had a girl say she doesn't want to have sex with me, and literally tell me later that she was completely lying). Honestly this whole situation is very confusing to me.
Any insight is appreciated.
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2019 Lays: 9
2020 Lays: 1
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You don't know where you stand with a chick until you try it. The rest is theory.
But since you're asking for an opinion, then I'd day that she gave more than enough time and opportunities to try something. She was at your place twice and you didn't make a move. What more do you want from her?
Learn to make this happen.
What she says and what she does can be completely opposite. Also she probably rejected the kiss cause you didn't fuck her.
Next time don't waste time with going out together.
Be specific, invite her over or go to her place. Find an excuse. No bullshitting around. Make It Happen
Don't try to argue with girls about being friends. Don't argue with any of the ridiculous over the top things they say like "I have sex on the 10th date" or whatever. Don't try to argue with these things. Half the time, they have no idea what they even want/are going to do. You'll never make any progress trying to "logic" your way into her pants. You can explain how you made your intentions clear all you want, it's ONLY going to make her dig in her heels and possibly decide to never fuck you.
But mostly, you just missed your chance.
Count: 111 (30 from cold approach since finding GLL)
1. [Reevaluating due to Coronavirus]
2. Quit nicotine (DONE)
This reminds me of one of the many instances of girls seemingly "leading me on" only to act cold when I (wayyy late into the game) express interest or make a move. I agree with ETA this is ultimately just a hypothesis, but it's one I hold very strongly because of repeated experiences:
I might have thought they friend-zoned me, but I actually friend-zoned them.
This is also a hypothesis (and surely an oversimplification), but it's one that has served me well: there's no such thing as "moving too fast", a girl will appreciate it and slow things down to her pace. But there is definitely such a thing as "moving too slow".
mw616 wrote: So I should probably just have her come back over again and try to escalate? Hopefully it's not "too late" to go for it. I always kick myself when I'm not aggressive enough.
The way I go about it is that, any repeated interaction I get with a girl, I make sure that the possibilities of what could happen get narrowed down to 1 thing, getting laid.
Say for example, first date I meet her at some bar somewhere far from my place, if I cant make something happen that night, then the second time it's somewhere very close to my place, so I can bounce when it's ready. You always gotta think logistically.
One of the reasons I do this, is to not get sucked in the process of chasing her around. I want to make the lay happen, until she knows she either in or out.
For you,asking her straight to your place, could actually increase your chances, cause she either thinks you don't want to fuck her or can't fuck her. With this there's no missunderstanding. That's why I said don't bullshit around. Be the guy that makes it happen. If not with this chick, then with all the rest.You'll be surprised how much you'll get rewarded. And you will save yourself a ton of time and energy.
You should have your intentions clear in your own head first, then act in accordance regardless of what the chick says (unless it’s a strict no to your advances).
Rather than trying to piece together the shit tests and confusing, contradictory statements she throws at you, actually try and fuck her and you’ll get a much clearer idea to whether she wants the D or not.
I agree with ETA, it both increases your chances of you getting laid (you can’t make the shots you don’t take) and saves you time and energy on maybe girls, you’ll be leading them in to becoming either yes or no girls.
Verge on being more aggressive in general, get rejected more and get laid more.
Lay count: 30
Currently focused on my financials and my body.
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