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I wish I could have fit more in the title, but it wouldn't let me, I feel this hit my mind hard mentally last year, but I like to feel that for guys, men only, success with women is learned behavior but not the other way around, because simply put, I don't see how girls, women need to learn how to get guys, get a man when they don't have to take any action on their part, since they don't have to take action, it doesn't look like a process of trial and error for them, us guys however, we have to take action or we won't have any success on our part, nothing will happen for us. That's why the way I see it, it's only guys, men, who need to be the ones to know how or learn how to get a date, get a girlfriend or get laid, not the other way around.
Guys, Men, need to know how to: approach, start the conversation and keep it interesting, make it flirty, ask out, ask for the number, plan and set up the dates, make the first physical move, go in for the kiss, lead, lead the interaction, make decisions, and probably more than that, etc.
Girls, Women, just need to know how to dress up and look good, and just go out and show up or just simply "be there", I don't see how that takes any learning or trial and error, I don't see how that is skill-based, that's something even a baby can learn to do right away.
it simply "just happens" for them? That's sure what it looks like.
Because typically the way you learn in life is by "doing", "applying", you won't get better at playing a piano, or a certain sport, martial art, if you don't practice regularly, and since all girls have to do is pretty much just dress up and look good, and just stand there, just be passive, they don't really have to take any social actions on their part, because they don't have to be the ones to approach, start conversations, ask for the number, ask out, lead the interaction, don't have to initiate anything, and all the rest you know, etc. So it makes you wonder what they have to learn, doesn't look like much or nothing at all.
Gold Jacket Luke, who even has a youtube channel, he even said this quote when discussing his favorite book the Alabaster Girl: "Also girls have it easier when it comes to learning how to talk to and interact with the opposite sex because guys approach girls. It's the masculine role to initiate. So girls learn very young the basics even if they do nothing."
I remember I had this discussion somewhere and I got responses like this that really anger and pissed me off, they were:
I got these responses from somewhere and they really pissed me off:
"And? So now you know the rules of the dating game. What are you gonna do about it? Life is short get over the butt hurt **** and leave equality of the genders to the feminist. You are a man take the rejections and all the flakes and move toward your goals"
"Drop the butt hurt feelings you have towards women! She flakes so what?, you get rejected? So what? Girls have it easier in the dating world? So what? You’re a man be brave! Stop watching mgtow videos. Hit the gym, boss up. You’re a 10 out of 10 no matter what"
"Maybe women do have it easier. So what? You can’t do anything about it"
"And? Men who don't take action and work on themselves might not get laid, so what?"
words can't describe how pissed i was hearing those type of responses, because it reminds me that guys, men, are quick to be easily labeled as having a victim mentality or whining, if they ever feel that one particular person or group of people have it better or easier, but never the other way around if women have the same mindset.
I also remember hearing "that’s a huge generalization to make. society certainly has
different expectations for men vs. women, but there’s no point in
worrying about who it’s “worse” for. A better mindset is to take
responsibility for every part of your own life.”
Obviously women can toss off their responsibility but men really can't. I know thats a fact, even a good blog i follow, the guy who runs the blog, even admits that, and other evidence proves that.
Anyway, i feel i should conclude this, i remember i worded this similiarly but differently kinda, in which I said that I feel it's only guys, men, who need to be the ones to know or learn how to get a date, get a girlfriend or get women but not the other way around, to a dating coach who is a guy and he said something that has some truth to it, and he said to me "all of what you said mainly applies to younger women, as women get older, they start to seek dating advice, attraction advice, because they don't get as much attention as they used to". Maybe so, but even older women, women who are past their prime, I don't see how they need to learn how to get a date or get a boyfriend or get men when they don't have to initiate anything themselves either.
I would wager that the top 80% of women have sex with the top 20% of men. You know you’re a top 20% man when women tell you that you’re hot/sexy.
Women are “hot” from 16-30. Men are “hot” from whenever they get their act together to whenever they want to stop/die. Can you imagine if men could be perpetually attractive and date as easily as women? Men need mentorship. I am so thankful for Chris because he’s the douchebag big my bro I never had!
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Maybe you think it's so asymmetric because you aren't a girl? It's like, you understand the problems you face, but not the problems someone else faces, because you aren't that other person?
Are you aware that girls spend up to 4 hours (you read that right) in the bathroom getting ready before they go out? All the makeup and hair shit they do, which I can't even begin to understand. And no, girls are not born knowing how to draw a hot face on their face. I have no idea, because I'm not a girl, but from what I can tell, it's actually pretty complicated, and takes a lot of practice and experience. The girls who are "hot" are quite simply the ones who learned how to do this. Google before/after videos of girls putting on makeup if you don't believe me.
If a guy thinks a girl comes out of the womb looking like what a "hot" girl looks like, he is a fucking moron (and there are discussions by girls where the mock guys who suggest this). It is an elaborate painstakingly created (and recreated every 24 hours, at least) illusion. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I very much enjoy the illusion. But to think that any girl wakes up out of bed looking anything like the girls you notice and want to date, and all she has to do is walk around and she'll get all the dating offers she wants... you only think that because you're inexperienced and haven't woken up next to enough of these girls.
I've also explained this elsewhere here: girls are hypergamous, not polygamous. Pointing out that it's easy for a girl to be polygamous is like pointing out that it's easy for a guy to jerk off to porn. So the fuck what? That's not what they want. And if they did want it, it would be in high demand, which would (economics) raise the cost, and make it harder. If you want to bitch about it being hard to fuck a hot girl, your complaint is with all the other men who are trying so hard to fuck that girl.
I simply do not understand how a guy thinks it's bad that they "have to initiate the interaction". I personally love that masculine role, of being in the driving seat and basically conveying to a girl, "hey, get in the passenger seat, and we'll go on a wild ride". I love the look on a girl's face when I stare her in the eyes and tell her she's attractive. I don't want someone else to drive. And I love that girls want me to drive, and seem mostly to enjoy playing the feminine role of submission. Do you not like being dominant? If so, and if you really "h8" masculinity so much, maybe you should become transgender (half-sarcastic. But if you really don't enjoy being a man, maybe you really should at least beta test being a woman. Other guys out there aren't having the same experience. I love the male role biology has bestowed upon me and wouldn't trade it for anything,
especially some nightmarish anti-human world where everyone is "equal"
And the same thing goes for men taking responsibility and not being whiny. First of all, do you know what a disaster it would be if men abdicated this and turned into a bunch of whiny pussies? Well, you don't have to hypothesize. Just look at Sweden. That's a society where men are women with penises, and what happened? A bunch of migrants invaded and are raping all the women in droves, and the men are terrified to do anything about it. "Can't women protect themselves!?" No, because physics. They are smaller, weaker and more sensitive (necessary so they can be attuned to the emotional state of other humans, especially young children, so they can care for them effectively). They physically and psychologically rely on men to protect them.
Just like with being the driver in dating, men are supposed to be wired to enjoy this. I don't want to be whiny and weak, nor do I want everyone to be equally responsible for protection. I don't want women to have to protect themselves. I want to protect them. If you don't enjoy this natural role, something in you is not wired right, and you might want to see a therapist to get that worked out. It makes you angry when you are told guys need to toughen up!? Dude, it makes me angry when I see guys that aren't tough!! I want the responsibility, because it gives me power.
I just want to make this clear. Not all men are out there cursing under their breaths about their lot in life and at best keeping quiet about it so they don't get judged by society. Most men (well, I don't know about these days, maybe you're in a good company 3 generations into Western men being raised by feminist women) prefer what you described and wouldn't change it if they could. Most of those comments you got, I assume they came from men right? Think about that. Maybe they were being sincere. It's not about, "that's how it is, suck it up and don't complain", it's more about, "why the fuck are you complaining about that? Do you seriously wish it was different!?"
I actually agree with almost all of what OP said. But in the end this forum exists for the select few men who are truly determined to become that top 20% women fuck. Of course it is unfair. It may be true.
But in the end you gotta look good and talk to girls. There is no way around this. The sooner this is accepted the happier you will be
We as men are driven biologically and socially to be in control of our lives, decide what we want and take action. Women are wired and conditioned to wait around and let life happen to them. I would fucking hate to be a woman, hopefully waiting around for things I want to eventually happen. As a man you’re in the driving seat and in control of your results. You want a harem of 10s? Determine what you need to do then go for it. The outcome is inevitable. How is that a bad deal for men?
Lay count: 30
Currently focused on my financials and my body.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.