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I feel so bad about it, cant get over it. So bad that she will probably have sex with other guys soon with her nice ass... 8 or so
I met that girl in the club (I have known her already for years tho, didnt know much about other than her name and stuff). I was motivated, shouted her name at her, she gave me a hug and we have danced a bit. We lead ourselves to different dance places, other than taking her hand I didnt try to get more sexual, because her friends all were around.
The day after I texted that we should hit up something. She responded: We can do that gladly *cute smiley*. To be honest I didnt think she would say Yes, because I havent done that much in the club. Texted her what we are gonna do, she wrote more smileys after a while.
Well, we met up. I was super weird because of my sa. Hugged her, spoke some words and then immeditaly went up the stairs looking behind me if is following. We went bowling, I didnt know how to get physical there, we also havent rly spoken about anything else than the bowling round in the beginning till I realized I should speak about my life. Just forced myself to do so actually. Actually it was kind of boring, I have no idea if she felt the same. Went on to eat ice cream then, actually was better than the bowling. Finally I could speak about what rly interested me. But also there I kind of need to force questions sometimes. I tried to look into her eyes sometimes, when we didnt talk. But nothing happened. Then we decided to see a movie, on the way to the cinema that was the first time that day I took her hand.
After 20 minutes into the movie, I told her to give me her hand. We started to stroke them. After a while I realized she didnt as much as I did. After 5-10 minutes sessions she pulled her hand away. I did grab it again after some minutes. I thought I need to escalate harder and put her hand on my leg, then put my hand on her lag and stroke her leg. I tried to see into her eyes, but she never turned her head towards mine. I just thought she needs more time. 2nd time I asked her if I could put my hand on her leg (she said yeah sure but she didnt mean it ofc..) because thought she is a slow going person, wtf cringe
It actually was in a mall, I was more often at it than her and still her sense of direction was better than mine. Sometimes it seemed like I wanted to justify myself for some things sometimes and I started to give stupid beta answers. (wow I rly need to memorize that way, oh man I rly cant hit anything else now, it depends on what i eat -> because she was a lot faster eating her ice than me and said she is a slow eat but I am even slower). It kind of happened automatically.
In the trim I told her it was a cool afternoon, we should meet up again and then she said:" Ofc we can meet up again, but not in that regard.I like you as a person, you are rly nice but I cant promise you that it goes the same way you would like to. It is more of a friendship. It was so uncomfortable for her and she seemed sry but oh boy it destroyed me so fucking hard.
I even texted her hours after the meeting, why she even met up in the first place then. She told me she cant know before if she likes me or not and she had nothing against meeting up and that she is sry again.
In the time I wrote this text I actually realized some mistakes, but were those mistakes rly that bad? I dont know. Like wtf, did I rly seemed that pussy she doesnt want to meet up with me again? Wtf is wrong with me.... Can hormonal imbalance rly screw you that fucking hard that you actually need to motivate yourself to be hyped about the girl or life in general.
To be honest, you sound kinda needy in your post. It also sounds like you were kinda awkward during the date.
Don't sweat it so much tho, the more dates you go out on, the more comfortable you'll be in them.
I was super super weird during dates when I first started meeting girls. I would be so nervous and anxious that I would not say anything at all which made dates super uncomfortable. Then I got a tinder and started going out on dates regularly, and it all worked itself out eventually.
I'm not the most experienced guy here, but I can confidently say that if a girl doesn't like me, it's not because I was socially awkward, maybe she wasn't down, or maybe she just didn't like the way I part my hair. Only going out on more dates will fix that for you.
First you need to get rid of your social anxiety, by the way it looks in your report it looks like you just went into Blue Screen of Death.
Chill, do the AA program, and next thing you know you will be able to hold a normal conversation.
'cause you right now, if you can't do that, well, you can't do shit.
Some dudes here take Kratom or stuff to relax, try it, who knows might help you.
Second, embrace the fact that you are not going to be smooth, PERIOD.
DON'T BE SMOOTH
Don"t even try it.
Accept the awkward silences or the cringy conversation, if the girl likes you she won't mind.
In all likelihood, she is just as "stressed" by the ordeal.
It takes two to tango.
Sometimes you hit speed bumps, it's all normal.
I spoke for fucking boring shit and still nailed the girl I spoke with.
Once or twice less than a fucking 5 minutes discussion.
Get this idea of "being interesting" to get laid out of your head.
Some douchebags are fucking lowlife who live in their parents basement and they still nail, why do you think?
Embrace the creep and act on it, a girl won't be all wet just because you tried to hold her hand for 10 minutes, try to kiss her or something, I don't know, you're trying to fuck her are you not?
It is called an "escalation" for a reason.
Now you might be sad and angry about that experience, but this was positive, a hot girl went out on a date with you, it means she was interested in the first place, congrats mate.
Some dudes in their beginnings crave a fucking occasion like that, like heroin addicts.
And you did held her hands and that, so that's good too.
Take baby steps and soon enough along the road you'll be doing great.
Now, the best thing you can do is move on from this experience, and hit the next girl.
To add on what other people said despite me being total newb, I am sure most will agree on this with me.
U shouldn't have taken her on a trip for gods sake(bowling, icrecream, movie) whats next, bungee jumping???? Bro I just had a date yesterday girl asked me before a date will I bring something, like a present for her(wtf bitchh), i just ignored the question....I am just saying for future FIRST dates with OTHER girls, take them to something simple where u can talk+escalate, like a walk, drink/coffee w/e, dont go bowling/movie where the girl wont be able to invest into actual conversation with u. Even if u want to impress her, fuck that.
She wasn't interested in the first place. You did 0 real screening to realize this. She went out with you as a friend. You got friend zoned, that's it.
You also said that you've known this girl for years.. I'd think it would be pretty clear she wasn't interested at this point. Her dancing with you at the club was just her having fun and not being awkward. You shouldn't be focusing on what you did wrong on the date but how you can screen girls quicker.
Just know this, there was nothing you could have done to make this girl like you. Girls know within 5-10 seconds whether they like you or not. You could've saved yourself a bunch of money and time if you tried to kiss this girl or grind on her. She would've backed away and then you could've moved on to the next girl and screened her.
Dude you're being melodramatic, and frankly I think some of these responses you're getting are fueling it.
You went on a date and it ended with, "this isn't gonna work". Do you think this is atypical? Do you think there are "alpha dawgs" out there who have never experienced this? It's called dating. If you keep hitting on girls you'll end up going out with some girls and end up being the one to say at the end of the date, "this isn't gonna work".
As I was reading this I was having the exact same reaction to when I was reading that girl's story about her date with Aziz Anzari. I just kept thinking, "uh... where's the fire?" When do I get to the part where the really bad thing happens? Why do people publish their utterly mundane first dates like it's exciting TV drama?
How much dating/sex experience do you have? I'm hesitant to recommend "screening" to you, based on what that is. If you're inexperienced it's fine to keep going on dates just like you did, and have most of them end like this one did, until you stop getting so hurt and offended by it. Then when you start to get impatient with all the time you're spending on dates that don't get you laid you can start worrying about the advanced stuff.
Im not the most experienced guy here at all, but I have success with this approach:
Setup the date close to your apartment, when you meet her start walking straight to your place while you small talk and act like everything is normal and you agreed on this. ( dont say where you are going, just walk!! and she will follow you) When you get
to your apartment show her around, ask her if she wants some coffee, tea, water or whatever. Go to your room and small talk for 5 mins more or something and then start escalating.
This approach is heavliy inspired by BoyToy and it works and is time efficient as fuck regardless of the outcome. Give it a try.
Start playing basketball on a real team to make friends
Thanks for all the rly helpful answers. Actually it's pretty clear now what happened and a part within me has already known it.
dont be smooth. this. read that post but thx for reminding me
it is just that in the last 3 weeks i had something with 3 girls and every time something went wrong
it always felt like there is something i cant improve and is missing (the sex drive)
but if it is rly for the hormones partly, that is something you cant give me advice on snd i have to carry out
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.