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Idk your story or anything but looks like you have already banged a few girls (not a virgin, not totally inexperienced). Plus no homo- from the vid thumbnails looks like you got your looks/style pretty down
~end of 2015 I decided to go all in with GLL's advice of screening/going for the lay because up until that point (4 years of trying to figure out how to get laid) nothing else had been working and people online kept saying that GLL's advice was legit, lifechanging, etc.
- I had seen GLL before then but was still semi-sipping the PUA koolaid
At that point I had banged 4 girls in my life
In the last few months of 2015 I banged 4 girls
In 2016 I banged 38
IMO once you can approach a girl, have a convo/be normal, you should start going for the close. Thats when this all starts to come together and you finally think that this isnt all just a waste of time
Former 21 year old virgin
2013: 1 lay
2014: 0 lays
2015: 7 lays
2016: 38 lays
My goal is to Get Laid, and I’m approaching girls with the intention of sleeping with them. I’ve never done “practice” approaches, something Chris specifically said not to do. Either do drills or approach. I’m done with drills.
* I’m defining an “approach” as me hanging in there and persisting until I ask for a number. Doesn’t count if I talk to a girl but don’t get this far.
* Once I get a number I pursue it just as I would any other number. I’m not just taking these numbers and throwing them away.
* I’m approaching girls in places near where I live, who look the right age and whatever for being available and open to sleeping with me.
Setting a goal of 20 approaches/week is to keep me in the game making a genuine effort to Get Laid. If I made my goal “X lays in a month”, all that would mean ultimately is more (or less) approaches every day. Like I said I’ll increase the number if I think I need to. I want to Get Laid as much as I can. The only reason I’m not approaching 10+ girls/day is because I don’t want to get burnt out and quit (like people who make New Years resolutions to lose 10 lb/week and start doing 4 hours/day of intense cardio, then quit two weeks later and never come back). 20/week is doable.
That’s also a minimum. What it means is I need to get 2-3 approaches in every day no matter what, or at the very least 20/week, which means if I get lazy and fall behind I need to make up for it to make sure I get at least 20 in. If I feel like doing more, I’ll do more. But if I feel like doing less, I won’t do less, I’ll approach despite not feeling like it because I have made a contract with myself to do this. If I have several days of bad luck or awkward interactions and it makes me feel like shit, I’ll still go out the next day and get my 3 (at least) in.
Y’all feel me? It’s a discipline thing. I’m not practicing here, I’m seriously trying to fuck these girls.
None of my interactions "counted" because I didn't ask for their numbers, but I did talk to 7+ girls. The reason is I asked immediately, "what's your deal? Are you single?" I said that every time right after introducing myself. They all said no. I was in and out in <20 seconds on unavailable girls. Part of me wanted to stick around and keep going but I think I approached every girl in the store. I could have hung around for longer and waited for some new girls to come in though. I loved the feeling I had doing this. It basically killed outcome dependency. I don't give a shit how they react to it (incidentally I got mostly positive reactions, girls were very flattered by me asking this question then bailing).
This relates to people suggesting to me I should set lay goals instead of approach goals. By doing this kind of screening (verbal in this case, but any kind), I'm going to end the interaction before it "counts" if the girl isn't available. If I then still require myself to get 20 approaches in, this means I have to try much harder and talk to more girls. That's feasible because the screening makes the interaction go very quickly on unavailable girls.
Some things I forgot to mention in the video:
Regardless of all this, I got 0 for today, so I'm 3 behind. I need to get 5 or 6 in one day this week to make up for it.
I'm adding a rule for myself: text these girls within 24 hours of meeting them. It's not because I think that matters as far as the girl responding, it's more for me to keep myself serious about meeting up with them. I'm noticing myself making excuses that certain nights won't work. Nope, fuck that. If on Day X I get a number, Day X + 1 I text that girl to meet up with me that night. If I got multiple numbers and multiple girls agree to hang out one night, well... that'll be a great "problem" to have and I'll just pick the hotter one and flake on the other one. How about I get to the point where I have that problem before I worry about how to solve it?
(Guys reading this, I'm thinking out loud to myself, this kind of overanalysis shit goes on in my head)
Why am I not basically spending all my evening, from the moment I get off work, to the moment all the stores close, cold approaching, then online dating and then going out to bars every night? Isn't this my #1 goal? Well, it's competing with another goal right now, which is getting ultra-lean (6-8% body fat). I'm dissatisfied with how fast I've been losing fat (~.7-.8 lb/week) the last couple weeks, so I'm pulling out all the stops, doing lots of cardio again, and dieting really hard. It's exhausting. I know from experience many times over that hardcore fat loss dieting causes me massive fatigue and I don't feel like doing anything during it (at least after a while if I don't do periodic refeeds, and I'm not willing to wait 2 more weeks to do a proper refeed right now). It also tanks my sex drive. I'm not even thinking about sex right now at all. All of this is fueled purely by discipline. I said I'm going to do this, so by God I'm gonna do it. Luckily I've developed strong discipline in the last year. But regardless of how disciplined I am, it would just be a lie to say I'm working as hard at Getting Laid as I would be if I wasn't dealing with dieting fatigue (i.e. spending hours every day after work and going out close to every night).
So let's not bullshit and be clear. Authentically, I want to finish this cut more than I want to get laid right now, so for the next 3-4 weeks, that's going to be my actual #1 goal. Getting Laid is right behind it at #2 (or #1b, getting ultra-lean is for the purpose of helping me Get Laid, especially online but in all situations ultimately), and I'm not going to change my daily goals (20 day approaches/week, at least 3 nights out, 1 hour/day online). Just being real. I'm way more obsessed with finishing this fucking diet, so it's the priority and I'm not going to sacrifice that to help with Getting Laid in the next few weeks. It's only 3-4 more weeks.
I want to try getting bigger once I'm lean, but I need to make this clear to myself now. At that point, Getting Laid will genuinely be #1 (indefinitely, I still need to define "success" with women, i.e. 70 lays or whatever), which means getting jacked needs to be #2, and should never eclipse Getting Laid. I'm not trying to be a bodybuilder, and I'm already past the looks threshold for most girls (in ways I control). My looks, status and social freedom are all far above-average so the only reason to work more on those is to break into consistently nailing top-shelf pussy, but I need a lot more experience before I should even think about that. Frankly the only reason I'm prioritizing the fat loss is because I'm so close and already invested so much time and effort into it, I need to see it to 100% completion.
I'm still going to approach 20 girls/week and post my log video daily
No approaches today. Not going out either (Thursday night, bad). I didn't sleep well last night and I'm fucking exhausted. Most productive thing to do right is get a good night's sleep and go hard tomorrow, day and night.
I'm hitting up Tinder and messaging with some chicas.
I usually, but not always, get one drink, typically right before I go out. I don't think it makes much of a difference with approach anxiety, it's more just part of the ritual of going out and having fun. I like spicy margaritas. I gotta stop that for a bit though because it's slowing down fat loss.
Yesterday was almost another zero day, but I went to Walgreen's to pick up some Bronkaid (ephedrine) for fat loss after work. I was in a really anxious mood because I took a shitload of stimulants earlier (including yohimbine, which can cause pretty bad anxiety). I wasn't planning on doing any approaches while I was there, I was planning to do that later at the grocery store. But while I was in there I spotted a cute girl and without even thinking just went right up to her, did my "random, thought you were cute, I'm Dan, are you single?" routine. She said "no" so I bailed.
I'm where I want to be with this. I naturally approach attractive girls when I see them, even when I'm not "sarging". I still need to go out just to approach to make sure I get numbers in, but my AA is so completely handled I've achieved what I set out to achieve 3 years ago. Good for me.
But I waited too long to go to the grocery store last night (only got there ~10 minutes before it closed, looked around and didn't find any girls), and I felt too fatigued to go out again. I've got a couple girls who seem interested on Tinder but I'm not being proactive messaging them. I'm experiencing a familiar feeling of being overwhelmed by everything, even little tasks, and I want to just get in bed and relax. I'm wedging myself into an unworkable corner with this fat loss effort. I went down to ~850 calories/day this week and started doing cardio again, and I paid for it severely in how I felt, and it's not even making that much of a difference. I think my body is just reducing my metabolism to compensate, so all I'm gaining is feeling like shit.
My sex drive is almost gone. I don't ever think about sex and I'm not really ancy to get laid except on a conceptual or "you're a loser 'cause you're not getting pussy" level. I get short bouts of horniness (Thursday evening I heard my neighbors fucking and it made me super horny for like 10 minutes), that's all. Another predictable effect of starving myself. When the human body thinks it's out of food, it shuts down everything that takes energy that isn't necessary for staying alive and searching for more food. Sex drive is one of the main ones to go. The SARM stack might be affecting this too. This is the first time I've tried S4. I've had the night blindness side effects for a while now, but I've never really experienced test shutdown from my previous cycles. I have experienced it on basically every cut, so I assume it's just from the starvation.
Okay so let's back up and reassess things here. I'm not a pro bodybuilder or model and my reason for wanting to get shredded is fully tied up in getting ass. Even if I was, it's not working that well (I can't break 1 lb of fat loss/week, which frankly might be all I should expect because I'm already pretty lean and not that big to begin with). I'm not losing fat any faster now than I was in February eating 15-1600 kcal/day. The obvious thing to do is end the diet, rev everything back up with a proper refeed, and resume in a more sensible gradual way where I don't end up back here again quickly.
I would do this immediately, if not for the SARM cycle. I just counted my supply and I actually have two weeks from today until the 3 month cycle ends. So what I'm gonna do is stick it out for 2 more weeks and do my best to reach 8%. That's about 3 lb of fat away so I probably won't make it, but I can get close. I'm gonna follow what I laid out in the fat loss thread I made. Increase carbs, start doing a lot more weight training, and use stimulants to keep my metabolism/energy up. Also take salt pills because according to my calorie tracker I haven't been getting nearly enough sodium, and that's a huge contributor to fatigue.
Does that mean I'm gonna quit approaching for two weeks? Hell no. I'm past the point where I think this is a major risk, but I don't want to "relapse" into having AA. For the next two weeks my motto is:
Suck it up, buttercup
I'm going to be tired, I'm not going to feel like going out and doing anything. I'm going to feel physically shitty. And that's just how it's gonna be. I cannot use that as an excuse to skimp on my goals here. I only have 6 approaches in for this week, so I have 14 left I need to do today and tomorrow. I should do around 10 today. Got all day to do that, shouldn't be an issue at all.
Honestly I'm debating with myself over what NSA said. I reached this mindset faster than I thought, maybe I should just set a goal to get laid in the next 30 days and do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Alright guys, did some meditation on all this and came up with a good game plan. This is a kinda long rambly video so I'll summarize it in text. In short, NSA one day I'm gonna learn to actually trust you.
At the end of the video I hesitated then went through with defining my short-term #1 goal:
GET LAID IN THE NEXT 30 DAYS
T minus 30. By May 21, 2018, my goal is to stick my penis into a vagina. Wish me luck. Doesn't matter how it happens. Online. Day approaches. Nightlife. It just needs to be a vagina.
Forget "approaching X many girls". Forget "X many hours of online". My goal is to GET LAID!!
Long term goal is defined and concrete: Lay count of 50. If I reach it and I'm not sick of chasing ass, I'll go for 100.
* I've been screening harder the last few days by immediately asking, "are you single" after introducing myself. Every girl I've approached the last 4 days has responded to this with, "no". So I keep "failing" for the day but only because I'm being more effective (Get Rejected More = Get Laid More), and it would be bad to encourage myself to just talk to girls and ask for numbers.
* The "20 approaches/week" (amounts to 2-3 approaches/day) goal isn't keeping me busy and active, it's doing the opposite. It's getting me off the hook and giving me permission to quit after 30-45 minutes of being out. If my goal is simply Get Laid, sooner rather than later, I'd stick around doing it until I was exhausted.
* This is my #1 goal (small complication of fat loss for next 2 weeks, that notwithstanding). I am 100% ALL IN on this. This is my life now. I gave up all my other hobbies, interests and activities to do nothing but try to get laid until I am satisfied with my sex life. This means apart from the normal required office hours at my job, I am doing one of two things: working toward my #1 goal, or resting and recharging in order to continue working on my #1 goal later. I either go out and try to get laid, or I do nothing. There's no in-between.
* I've been distracting myself, especially the last couple of days, with workaholism. That's the thing I'm doing that isn't my #1 goal and it isn't nothing. If I had to choose between #1 goal and nothing, I'd only pick nothing if I was genuinely exhausted and needed rest, otherwise doing nothing would be boring. But I'm choosing something interesting/entertaining that isn't my #1 goal, and that's the problem.
* Concretely this means when I get off work I will spend the rest of the day either hitting on girls or resting. Instead of worrying that I might overcommit and burn out, how about I find where my limit is? How many hours per day can I work at this before I collapse? The only way to know is to work more than that and collapse. Then I'll record it and work right up to that point. It's not good enough to "approach X girls per day". I need to approach until I literally can't approach anymore.
* Didn't talk about this in the video, but concrete steps to prevent myself from getting distracted (procrastinating) are important. Put signs up all around my room that say something like, "Do the most productive thing possible right now", turn the site blockers back on for any sites I get distracted by, force myself to stay out of the apartment and out somewhere (even if I need to work on something I can do it at a coffee shop).
* As with the AA Program, plan a single day of rest each week, where I am allowed to get distracted and be a workaholic (yes, for me resting means doing computer programming, that pays off majorly in my career). Discipline applies here too: if I feel like working on my #1 goal on my rest day, don't. Use it to rest, and do that thing I was thinking about doing all week.
Let me reiterate what matters more than anything:
My #1 Goal is to Get Laid in the Next 30 Days
(I'll worry about this when it happens, but if I get laid before that the goal becomes try to get laid twice in 30 days, if that happens then 3 times in 30 days, etc.)
Fuckin' work was crazy, I forgot we're gearing up for the first official release to all customers right now, so some shit came up yesterday and I legit had to work until 3am to get stuff working, then until past 6pm today. I'm so sleep-deprived I feel like I'm on acid LOL
Did manage to stop by Target yesterday, and finally got a "yes" response to "are you single". So I chatted up that girl then asked for her number, but she wouldn't give it to me. She was super hot, like 9+/10, so I was batting above my league. I approached a couple other girls who gave me the usual "no" response to "are you single".
Since I worked serious overtime I can take Friday off, which is great because I rented a hotel in Santa Monica for the weekend to "beta test" living there. So I can check in as early as possible, hit the streets and spend all day trying to pull girls back to my hotel room (I'm gonna pop my cherry trying to get girls to have a drink with me "on the spot"). I can probably dip out early tomorrow too. I'm getting a haircut tomorrow evening, but I should be able to work around this.
I'm doing a good job of keeping my mind clear of self-induced distractions. I'm fully immersed in all this, it's all I care about, and it feels good. I'm excited to keep at this, I know it's the right move and makes me much happier and more fulfilled than any of the other shit I could be doing with my life right now.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.