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Not sure this is the right place for this thread, but anyone have advice for getting laid in the suburbs? I live in Fairfield County, Connecticut, a suburban county 2 hrs from NYC. Having trouble even finding young hotties, let alone getting laid. I've approached a few chicks in coffee shops and shit like that but a lot of chicks in relationships, not so much DTF.
Any wisdom for me? Preferably from dudes who actually live in the suburbs and get laid, or have in the past? Also, I'd really like to get some fuckbuddies/fwbs. Any advice there?
Please do not say move to a city. I lived in one downtown for 3 yrs. I moved to the Burbs for the low cost of living as I'm trying to start my own business.
I am in the same boat. I wish someone would give us a concrete method for doing it cause guys dont realize how much different when you dont even see hot girls in your daily life so you dont get a chance to approach.
Great thread and input from everyone. I'm in the same situation as the OP but have found a few ways to make the most out of less than ideal logistics/demographics.
1) Capitalize on the few opportunities that are present
I live in the western suburbs of Chicago where there is a major shortage of single 18-25 year old girls. With that said, it is easy to spend countless hours each week walking around malls and other venues without seeing any girls in an approachable situation. As a result, you're going to have to do some approaches in settings which you may not feel are very conducive to success such as dealing with groups/friends or within earshot of other people. Unfortunately if you're living in a suburb you can't take the few opportunities you have for granted as you could sometimes do if you lived in a large city or on a college campus and you'll have to be bit more ballsy and resourceful.
2) Use several online dating apps to leverage your efforts
Since you're busy growing your business, you probably won't have much time to sit in traffic going to various venues that have a more social atmosphere where you can meet new girls. Using multiple dating apps can really help you leverage your efforts while not taking much time away from building your business and other pursuits you may have. Fortunately for you, you're in the north east with more favorable gender ratios than the midwest so you'll probably have an easier time using them.
3) If possible use your social circle to your advantage
On average, people in suburbia tend to be socially disconnected from one another. As another poster mentioned many don't even know their neighbors and at least where I live, you can detect a latent sense of distrust and hostility between strangers and especially between the sexes. If you have a social circle that can help mitigate this use it to your advantage. Most girls here meet their boyfriends or fwb's through mutual friends and rarely from random approaches on the street. As a result, don't neglect spending time with any friends you may have especially if they know a few girls that are available as it can save you time doing cold approaches and dealing with bitchy attitudes.
These are just a few realities you'll have to accept while living in the suburbs. Although I have a gf, I still put in the work every week doing approaches and try to make the most out of an unfavorable environment. You'll be fine though but you just may have to accept that it will be a bit harder to live this kind of lifestyle where you're at right now.
Hey all, thanks for the insights! It's been a hectic 2 weeks so sorry for replying late.
A few thoughts:
1. I probably wasn't approaching enough.
2. It really is quite unlike big cities. I almost never find young women.
3. I was going out a lot. Atleast a lot more than I used to and could never seem to find where the young people are. I see unattractive old women at bars. Not milfs even.
4. I've been out of the game for awhile, and so forgot how much of a number's game it really is.
5. Online dating used to piss me off cause I'd get invested too early. Now I'm a bit more chill, and I agree it really can help a lot. I just made accounts on 6 or so different apps the other day haha. Meeting a chick on Wednesday at her place. Should hopefully lead to a lay.
7. The neighbor thing sounds like an awesome idea and would be the perfect fuck buddy situation but again I never see young people and rarely even see my neighbors outside.
8. I've thought about the mall thing. Definitely an abundance of young hot chicks. I tried it two or three times before but not really with any results. It feels weird to drive and burn time at a mall with no other purpose to try to pick up chicks, like I'm a PUA. I still probably would do it but I really don't have that kind of time to burn which is why I've approached in coffee shops when I'm working.
9. Basically almost everyone I knew growing up left, but I have been trying to cultivate friendships with people who are still here. Unfortunately, my friends haven't introduced me to chicks no matter how much I've hinted haha. It probably will just take time.
10. You're totally right, NYC and Stamford seem to be filled with hotties but I rarely go there as far. I do go to Stamford sometimes but I haven't made much progress there yet. I probably need to just go out more when I'm there.
It might sound like I'm complaining but I'm really not. I thank you all for giving me more motivation to pursue lays harder. I have been putting in more effort recently.
Also, I did get laid finally the other day!
Any other thoughts and input would be much appreciated!
Also, about the gender ratio, I know people say that about New York City, but is that true for the Northeast in general? I had never heard that before. And I don't really notice it now and never had before when I grew up here.
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