This is an opinion website that offers information of a general nature and none of the opinions should be construed as advice. Nothing contained within the site is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to Good Looking Loser. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals.
Affiliate Disclosure: At absolutely no expense to you, if you make a purchase, we may receive commissions from some links on this website. That is how our community supports itself. I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Thanks!
I've been doing cold approaches now for the last few weeks and have not gotten the results I'd like. I've gotten a few numbers that turned into flakes but that's about it. Today I did probably 15 approaches and every single one was a rejection. I'm really hoping to break it down to what area I'm lacking in. As in, is it looks, style, social freedom, not hitting the numbers hard enough, or just my geographic location that is the issue?
I attached a couple of pics of what I look like and what I wore today doing cold approaches and going to the bars. I know I'm no model but are my looks "above average"? I'd guess my body fat is around 13%, I don't have much muscle but I'm not scrawny. Is that outfit not good? I am wearing boots with lifts to boost my height to around 5'11" (I'm really 5'8").
I would consider my "social freedom" above average at this point. I started doing the AA program but did not complete it because I don't think I actually had much AA, I had just never done cold approaches until a few weeks ago. I have no problem initiating touch quickly on girls at the bars and could do any of the drills in the final week of the AA program. One thing I'd say I need to work on is increasing speed and frequency of approaches. I don't "warm up" very well, as in I'll do an aggressive approach but then I might see another girl walking by right after and not approach at all so I still miss opportunities. Multiple rejections in a row still demoralize me and make me want to take a break or switch venues.
I am somewhat concerned that my location is the issue. I live in a small town in Oklahoma, about 40 miles away from Tulsa. I've approached in both my town and Tulsa. A few things I've noticed about this area are: people are mostly conservative relationship seekers, basically no one cold approaches even at bars, about 3 guys to every girl at bars, tons of fat people which I think tends to make non fat girls stuck up. I get told "sorry, but I don't know you" or something similar to that a lot during the day, and pretty much always get flat out "no" at a bar when I talk to a hot girl, initiate touch and ask her if she wants to chat outside. Do other people have experiences in locations similar? I'm not trying to make excuses but am just wondering if my area of the country is a significant hinderance.
So anyway, what I'm really wondering is do any of these categories stand out as particularly bad, to where I should put most of my effort in improving that category? Or should I just keep doing what I'm doing until I get results?
How many approaches have you done during the day, and how many at night?
During the day how many numbers, dates and lays do you have (if any)? Are you asking every single girl for her number? Are you following up with every number you get?
At night are you trying to pull every girl who talks to you out of the bar, or at least inviting them home with you?
You have lots of potential with your looks, but you absolutely need to lose the mustache immediately, and get a better haircut (IE let it grow out and get the "undercut"). You also will 100% need to move into a mid sized city. Small towns are no place to be a player.
My guess is the two things holding you back are your location, and your style. In that order
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
I don't have exact counts, but I do many more during the day. Typically when I go to a bar, I do only 2 or 3 approaches and then leave after I get rejected by all of them. The bars around here are not very big. As far as always going for the number, following up and trying to pull, yes yes and yes. The hardest part of approaching for me is opening, but once I do that I'm pretty confident. With day game I usually also ask what they're doing the same night and will try twice to get their number before nexting. I have gotten 4 numbers out of probably 50 total approaches this month, all of which were flakes. I haven't tried following up a second time, so maybe there's that.
Mustache will be shaved tomorrow morning.
The location feedback is disheartening. I moved to this town 2 and a half years ago because of an excellent job offer. Financially I don't think I could beat it in terms of both salary and low cost of living. I am currently investing over two thirds of my income and my goal is to be retired by my early 30s, then move wherever I want, probably overseas. I still prioritize that goal over getting laid, although a few more years of barely getting any may change that, lol. FWIW, I have very few social connections in this town and don't give much of a shit what anyone thinks of me here. Tulsa is about 400k population. Is that big enough? Logistics are difficult there but it seems like good practice, unfortunately it doesn't seem to be working out well.
When you say the location is holding me back, is that more because of just the size, or the geographic region of the country that I'm in? I've thought about going to Oklahoma City for a weekend to practice there.
I think it's both the population and the culture holding you back. You SHOULD be getting more numbers. So it comes down to three possibilities. Either the culture in your area is so close knit that daygame produces horrible odds or your style is wack enough that girls aren't interested (possible) or you're acting very strange during your approaches.
What's the population in your town? You should also post a vlog of your story so we can get an idea of your vibe. We're gonna solve this mystery
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
BIB's advice is super solid. In addition to that, I would suggest taking some time off work, maybe Thursday and Monday so you can have a 5 day weekend. Then on that 5 day weekend, get an air BnB in some big city. Aim to approach at least 100 girls PER DAY, then measure your results.
There is no way to be certain what the problem is, unless you have a large enough sample size. Also, for small towns, getting laid is really different to big towns. In the city I live in (Auckland), the population is about 1.5 - 1.6 million. Even in this city, I still talk to the same girls I've already talked to quite regularly, but the influx of hot European tourists offsets that.
If I was trying to get laid in a town of say 100,00, I'd rather just take a pay cut and move to a big city. In a tiny little town, you lack the power of anonymity, and thus it's very incestuous.
Lack of sex usually leads to testosterone suffering, and testosterone is the hormone correlated with success. I'm also pretty sure whatever pay you can get in a small town, you can definitely get better in a big city if you look hard enough.
Furthermore, 50 total approaches is not a good sample size. I remember when I first started approaching, there were weeks where I'd approach 50 girls per day and get 100% rejected. There were also weeks where I'd approach no more than 5 girls and get a same day lay. Give it 3 - 4 months and reassess. A few weeks is far too early to tell, especially if you've never cold approached before.
The GoodLookingLoser.com forum offers visitors the ability to exchange information and thoughts. Nothing contained within GoodLookingLoser.com forum is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to GoodLookingLoser.com or of Goodlookingloser.com itself. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals. Visitors are to make their own independent inquiries before acting on any information contained within the website forum.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.