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I want to dedicate this post to those men lurking here who think one or more of the following:
• Do you think you are ‘genetic garbage?’
• Do you think you cannot get laid no matter what you do?
• Do you think it is not possible for you to be ‘above average?’
• Do you think a receding hair-line will make success with women impossible?
• Do you think being below 6 feet tall will make success with women impossible?
• Have you been lurking on this (or other ‘game/pua’) forum for 2+ years but have not taken any ‘serious action?’ (not partial, SERIOUS!)
• Do you have a personality type and demeanour not optimal for getting girls? (neurotic, introverted etc.)?
Do you consider yourself..... 'incel?'
And if that is the case…
A few more questions:
• Are you blue-pilled or still in the process of being ‘red-pilled’ and hence are having an identity crisis as a result?
• Suffering from intense feelings of misogyny/misanthropy that you currently cannot overcome, mostly as a result of still being red-pilled?
• Are you a virgin? And when by that I am referring to a virgin in the sense of ‘had sex with one girl without paying hard cash for it?’
• Are you in addition to being a ‘lurker’ at this or other forums a ‘keyboard warrior’ or ‘armchair PUA?’ who despite being blind tries to lead the blind? Are you a troll?
If the answer to any those questions is ‘yes’ then don’t bother reading this series of posts. Instead focus on rectifying each of these no matter what. If you are still being red-pilled then finish being red-pilled. If you hate women, avoid all red-pill material. Are you a virgin see my ‘losing virginity post series.’ If you are a ‘troublesome’ lurker then stop it right now.
And now, before you throw in the towel and give up…
Hear my story…
PART 1: MY BACKGROUND
Who is ‘The Bastard from Glasgow?’ also known as ‘Idan the Mac?’
• 1st generation Scot though I identify as a Brit and sadly am not blessed with ginger hair and though my bagpipes are not small (let’s not go there yet!) I do not wear a skirt and usually wear underwear regardless.
• As of December 31st 2016 I do not drink alcohol. Throughout this 2016 quest I drank too much.
• I work on an irregular basis offshore on ships and rigs around 6-7 months of the year
• 5’7 flat-feet (171cm or so)
• Small, narrow bone-structure with a ½ ectomorph ½ mesomorph body type
• 9% body-fat at around 80kg weight most of the time
• I consider myself a solid ‘6’ taking into account all physical attributes and after maxing out my looks to the best of which I am capable. While I consider my face to be a ‘5’ at best due to very poor jaw-line; I believe my top 5% physique (though not yet top 1%) even with my below-average height brings me to a ‘6’ assuming my style is solid (which is debatable)
• According to the Jordan Peterson big 5 personality test I am in the top 1% when it comes to ‘neuroticism’ and score highly on ‘introversion.’ Additionally, I score quite low on all the other traits. I could be being too harsh on myself compared to close friends who have run the test on my behalf.
• To paraphrase Peterson again I was ‘bottom lobster number 10’ at school as far back as I can remember and this continued into my university years.
• I consider my social skills to be ‘average’ having managed to dramatically improve them relatively from ‘very weak’ and that due to my upbringing will always be restricted in how strong they can be.
So unless my ‘stats’ don’t make it obvious, I am a quintessential loser.
However, I am no-where NEAR as much of a loser as I was 2 years ago up until the point that I discovered GLL in late 2013.
Age 6-17: School: the dark times
For the majority of my life, my existence has been characterised by being the number 1 ‘least cool kid’ at school – the lowest of the low. Whose path became shockingly twisted and dangerous, particularly during my teenager years.
Bitterness, stress, resentment, pent-up blood rage, self-loathing and hatred. And above all ‘powerlessness.’ These are what epitomised my teenage life and young adulthood and combined with the incredibly poor social skills which seemed to only get worse the more isolated I became, I reached a level of psychological darkness that most have never or will never experience.
I would go so far as to say I reached a state mass-shooters and murderers like Elliot Rodger would have experienced. It really was that bad. Thankfully, whilst my school experience was a living hell, I had good parents who despite having not helped solve the problem, still loved me – especially my mother. She saved my life, seriously.
By the time I left school aged 17 I was not just a virgin, but a kiss-less one too with not one positive experience with a female who was not a family member to refer to.
Age 17-23: University: wasted years
When I started working part time at a drug store in customer services in tandem with university with a mostly female crew, life started to slowly change for the better.
I found a passion in a new hobby: competitive weightlifting which developed both character and my physique.
I developed basic social skills and whilst I left university aged 23 still a virgin (in my sense of the word as mentioned above) despite being aware of and even toying with ‘pick-up material’ such as David DeAngelo’s ‘double your dating’ and ‘Roissy from DC’ since I was 16 life became relatively exponentially better as a result.
Whilst I did have considerable exposure to the opposite sex over the years my experiences were overwhelmingly negative. Finding myself being ‘bottom lobster’ in my university social circles (mostly course-work related though I did find some self-esteem in developing a weight/powerlifting club) I had 0% chance with any of the many gorgeous girls I spent my every waking minute infatuated with and fantasising about.
That left one option: night clubs.
If there was a counterpart to the horrors of my school years in the form of isolation and bullying, to this day I can think of nothing worse than spending 100s of hours being brutally rejected my every (and yes I mean every) single drunken, inhibited girl at the bars and night-clubs. These days I would rather put my penis in a blender than waste my time, money, self-esteem, energy and health in these cess-pits designed to allow women’s hypergamous urges to run wild.
Night-clubs alone were responsible for the intense misogyny I fostered throughout university. The fact was I desperately craved female attention, companionship, sex and validation. Yet my low social status at school, lack of physical attractiveness (which I wasn’t even aware of if you can believe that!), poor social skills and down-ward spiral of negative experience acquired at these night-life events drove me to some seriously dark places.
I got the the point where I truly believed I was an ‘incel’ genetic piece of trash destined for the Darwinian garbage can. I believed all women were repulsed by my very existence and combined with all the anger I had from reading red-pill content, mra forums and the perceived anti-male environment the western world has become I all but gave up.
This continued for years. In the end I had one experience – one opportunity. I met this American girl through a social circle in university (chess club or something like this). For reasons unknown she took a liking to me. She was attractive and a high-ranking member of the Jewish society. I couldn’t believe she would be interested in me and for shits and giggles I remember running ‘cocky and funny’ David DeAngelo game on her. If you can believe it she eventually came on to me!
And then I screwed it all up by not being able to get it up. By then I had probably clocked 1000s of hours of watching high-speed internet pornography. I had developed weird fetishes as a result of ‘vanilla sex’ having become boring years ago. I tried to get her to indulge them.
No shocker that she eventually ditched my ass shortly after. The consequences were dire and far more devastating than just my ego being decimated. I ended up losing that entire social circle. Everyone in it knew the sordid details of ‘intimacies’ and after getting our mutual, crazy fat friend to privately disclose to me everything she knew about what ‘my first girlfriend’ had let loose I knew ‘social circle game’ was not an option and something to this day I have no interest in trying to play with again.
Age 23-25: Limbo in a strange city
2-3 years passed. I graduated university. I finally quit the customer service assistant job I despised so much. I got a job in the oil and gas industry offshore – middle class wages with the ultimate perk of ‘time-off’ work.
This was all part of my grand-plan to be able to travel and meet foreign women after becoming privy to the ‘Roosh V’ community. Whilst the return of kings ‘red pill’ content is like cancer for getting laid (assuming you are past the red pill phase) I remember this intense feeling of hope building up inside me upon hearing of the prospects of visiting foreign countries rich with women who are reported to be a combination of ‘more attractive, feminine, less feminist’ etc. I was sold very early on but it would be 2 years before I would take any action in that regard.
As a condition for procuring this life-changing career I had to relocate to a new city. Smaller, richer and as I would find out, far more cliquey that the one I had spent the first 23 years of my life in.
While I discovered GLL and spent a lot of time reading, absorbing and dreaming about his content, I was facing a new world of pain.
Because I was trying to take action.
NOTE: My ‘if I can f**king do it, you can f**king do it, losing virginity post series’ covers the overlap between Part 1 and Part 2 of this post series in more detail. There I detail specific steps you should take to avoid many of the painful pitfalls I faced and would recommend you read before continuing on to Part 2.
2012-2014 was very stressful period. It was weird not just living in a different city away from my closest friends but also because I did not enjoy the city at all.
I knew by now that at this point I was the only one who could take my happiness into my own hands. Now was the time. I knew had some very serious issues that would need to be taken care of before I can even fuck my first girl without paying for it)– the girl I gave the endearing title ‘my golden eagle.’
My 2 biggest issues were 1) I was addicted to porn rendering it almost impossible to fuck a girl with a dick that wasn’t floppy. And 2) Extreme anger, misogyny and frustration making me a very unpleasant person to be around. These HAD to change before I could progress any further.
So I worked to quit porn. Working offshore on ships where I worked my socks off for up to 6 weeks at a time certainly helped with this.
Success breeds success and the sense that finally I had ‘value’ as a man in some ways ignited the turbines of change.
I had competed in multiple weight lifting competitions during my university years. I had at least made out with and engaged in everything up to but not including sex with a girl who was a solid ‘7’ to look back on.
And most importantly I was making (middle-class level) money.
Around the time I discovered GLL I finally ditched all the ‘red pill websites’ and ‘misogyny fuel’ that were MRA youtube channels and forums.
I kept visiting night-clubs however. Mostly with the ‘rsd’ community and continued to have some of the worst experiences of my adult life. But there was hope. Because I had money I could change and become more attractive.
TRIGGER WARNING: PHOTOS OF AN EXTREME DWEEB APPROACHING!
After all the complex, information overloading ‘pua’ material the idea of ‘look good’ + ‘talk to girls’ = ‘get laid’ was very appealing to me.
The tables finally started to turn when I discovered GLL for the first time. It was like being reborn. A miracle.
I knew almost right away after reading Chris’s advice for getting girls. ‘Become good looking, become what girls actually want.’ ‘There ARE other ways of getting girls ASIDE from night clubs and social circles!’
During the last month of 2013 and the first couple of months of 2014 I absorbed as much of GLL’s material as I possibly could. I ran the AA program for 3 weeks whilst experimenting with my style with the guidance of the GLL community.
In this small city where I had moved to work the year before I met a true Good looking loser ‘Alwaysbeclosing’ for the first time. I remember feeling utterly amazed at what a chill, real, and well-rounded guy he was, almost as much as I was amazed at the odds he would be in this shady little British town of all places coming all the way from the USA.
I didn’t finish the AA program due to my work commitments (and being a pussy – mostly being a pussy actually) which had me disappearing from civilisation for as many as 6 weeks at a time.
I experimented with the ‘kratom lifestyle’ from Chris’s Happy Hippo Herbals source. Those were some truly wonderful memories. Where I stay now kratom is not legal (and as far as I am aware, my home country now too!) but I truly love and respect this ‘godly’ plant. It can truly be a game-changer when you are serious about making changes.
During those cold winter months of 2013/2014 I start to metamorphose.
Before 2013 this is more or less how I looked. As a friend of mine said: ‘Dude I would have totally beaten you up at school, you look like a total dweeb!’
This is likely the worst selection of style shots I could muster but bear in mind this is how I dressed at university. Just about anyone would agree I do not look better than a ‘5.’ Probably I am a ‘4’ on average. A good physique (which was hidden) spoiled by a terrible hair style and horrible styled and fitting clothes with a receding hairline (which I failed to notice) as icing on the cake.
Me inebriated in a house party, outdoor bar and night club respectively. On a night out I would look a bit better, thanks to my best friends hand-picking my style for me.
Enlisting the very generous help from the GLL community, I used advice given to me in my ‘style’ thread as well as dozens of hours spent at the shopping malls to experiment with improving my style.
It was a pretty tough learning curve and even to this very day I feel like I know nothing about style. However, there is absolutely no denying that these new photos are a sure improvement on the monstrosity you burned your eyes with above.
Hippy style was my brand new early 2014-look and none of these styles lasted long at all except perhaps the 2nd one.
By now maybe I was reaching a ‘5.’ So barely average. But this was better than a ‘4’ and I needed every little victory. No matter what clothes I put on I felt there was so much wrong with my look and I felt pretty clueless about what was missing…
I experimented with spray-tanning (not aware of the ‘wonder drug’ melanotan-2 at the time – actually I sort of was, but it was too extreme at the time).
The biggest issue was the receding hairline. It was getting worse every single year and I had not spotted it before the point of no return. At first I tried to work around it with clever, expensive hairstyles. ‘Extreme’ and possible reckless ideas swam about in my head such as ‘head tattoo’ or ‘getting wigged.’ But I wasn’t ready at that point. Not by a long shot.
What I was ready for however, was to get laid. To get laid once and for all.
I knew the time had come. The trials that I had put off in my life for so many years. The stark reality I had used porn, video games, the manosphere sites and even weight lifting to block out and distract myself from.
Dating in this little city that I was learning to despise more and more was incredibly tough.
Despite the massive strides I was making in improving my look, my vibe and attitude I was struggling immensely to get dates. The night clubs remained as brutal and traumatic as they had ever been. I would often get so drunk and determined that I would try and use ‘brute force dancing’ where I would try and force myself into circles of girls dancing and try and blow them away with my extreme crazy energy and bravado only to be brutally dismissed and rejected often dozens of times in a row. More often than not I would end up being roughly manhandled by bouncers and thrown out on to the street. I would rut and seethe with hatred and vengeance for weeks.
Online dating was the only thing that worked, when it worked which was rare. I pitched every single girl on plenty of fish, badoo, tinder, ok cupid, match.com – the lot. I was focused like a laser. The only girls I could get dates with were ‘3s’ and ‘4’s who I would quite happily reject in favour of fapping or pay an attractive hooker instead.
The crazy high living costs (it being an oil/gas hub), ridiculous sex ratios and hyperinflated sexual market place that even American adonises like Alwaysbeclosing struggled with (though to his credit, he totally killed it in the end) was eye-opening. I was truly amazed how ‘Good looking losers’ from the forum who I met in real life compared with the ‘rsd’ guys I had met (though to be fair some of the rsd guys COULD get laid a lot). I yearned to visit Central/Eastern Europe again where I had briefly visited the year before where I was stunned with both the talent and the femininity of the local ladies. In just 4 days I had gotten my first real kiss with an Italian 7 at a hostel.
Finally, in Spring 2014 following a particularly bad night at a bar (where this blonde cunt gave me the finger after I asked her to take my photo) I bit the bullet, packed my best new clothes and flew to central Europe.
These costumes are what were packed in my suitcase. At the time it was the best I thought I could do to look like I am ‘sexually active’ and ‘above average.’
The bottom right photo became my bread and butter having got a particularly clever hair cut and died it blonde. I never felt sexier in my life.
It took 3 weeks of traveling between various cities for a few days each meeting girls I had ‘pipelined’ on badoo mostly. There were some dates, some of my first ever ‘daygame’ approaches following the first few weeks of the ‘AA program’ and a LOT of rejections.
The girls were sweet and feminine – considerably more than in my home country and this actually made the rejections a lot more tolerable. I was more than happy to endure them after years of horrible reactions at the clubs.
Read my ‘Losing Virginity Success Story: If I can do it you can f**king do it’ post series for the juicy details of how I got my ‘Golden Eagle’ who became my girlfriend for 1.5 years.
2014 may have been the happiest year of my life. Not only did I fuck my first ‘notch’ but she became my girlfriend.
2015 was not such a good year. I learned a LOT from my first serious ‘relationship’ which due to my inexperience became far more serious than it should have too quickly. I realised this is the lot of most men, especially those who have been with their college sweetheart or never had to ‘play the game.’
There were a lot of highs, some devastating lows. I experienced love (and hate) and all the perks and problems with a committed, monogamous relationship. Factor in the fact I was in a foreign country with different customs, a more conservative culture and the fact I was totally inexperienced. It turned out she was not the right woman for me for various reasons outside both of our control.
Towards the end of 2015 things got very ugly indeed and I knew I had become a domesticated, pussy whipped caricature stereotype. I began to resent both the girl, the relationship and monogamy itself. It felt so oppressive, especially to a man of my personality. A neurotic man living with an equally neurotic woman with daddy issues and a host of other vices which I could do nothing to help or offset.
After several attempts, I finally split up with her for good at the end of the year.
And there I was…
I was walking through EPCOT in Disney World with my best buddy. And my buddy gets called by my now ex-girlfriend. She is taking desperate measures to get my attention.
I was conflicted as fuck. I had given up my sex life in exchange for the chance to be happier. Somehow the greatest era of my life had turned into a new kind of misery and suffering. Resentment that had brewed up powerfully over the last year.
I had somehow come under the spell of ‘oneitis’ and couldn’t conceive of ‘ever getting lucky’ again. All I had ever wanted up till now was a girlfriend. I didn’t truly believe I had it in me to be a ‘player’ who fucks a ton of girls. I had decided getting a girlfriend and having a regular sex life along with ‘love’ and ‘companionship’ was the best I could ever hope for.
But all those intense arguments, intimidation, walking on eggshells, emotional lows for every high, the feeling of having permanently lose the frame, the feeling of being dominated – fucked up the arse not just by a boss at work but at ‘home’ as well.
I knew I had had enough. The pain of getting a new girl would surely be less than the long-term agony of being with a girl who was utterly incompatible with me.
I had had enough.
And I knew the day was imminent where I had to end it once and for all. I knew that in order to undertake what I was about to undertake I had to do this.
This year was going to be my last stand. No matter what it took, no matter how much time, blood, energy and soul it took. I was going to get a ton of pussy and prove to myself I can get a ton of pussy whenever I want for the rest of my life.
This was about SO much more than pussy.
It was about insuring myself against these nightmare situations in serious relationships. Scarcity mindset and inexperience can destroy a man. Most men refuse to face it early on and the unlucky ones are forced to face the consequences in the divorce courts.
Anyway, let’s not get into that. I just wanted to convey to you what was behind my motivations here. As the very roots.
I guess it can best be explained by Tony Robbin’s legendary: ‘We seek to avoid pain and seek pleasure. We are so short-term minded but don’t accept that it cannot bring long-term pleasure – more often than not pain instead.’
The conditions were as good as they were ever going to be.
The oil and gas industry collapsed due to the falling prices and many companies went bankrupt. Every day was filled with doubt – would I lose my job too?
It mattered not. Even if I got fired I would have enough money saved up to last an entire year including travel. And if I was not fired, I would likely be working very few days…
I had lost my golden eagle. But I was just about to prove to myself with empirical, statistical evidence that I could get many eagles. 1 per month even. Let’s say 12? Concrete proof that I could get laid that I would always remember and know in my heart of hearts.
As I sat on the jumbo jet from Florida back home drinking as many of those mini-red wine bottles as possible, I made up my mind.
The Golden Eagle project was about to be unleashed.
So what is the meaning behind the ‘golden eagle project?’ Some relation to the ‘golden era’ Chris spoke about?
Actually it was a lame parody of the movie ‘the Eagle’ (which I actually liked) with Channing Tatum who plays a Roman commander who wants to retrieve his father’s golden eagle trophy from the barbaric picts on the north side of Hadrian’s Wall.
I didn’t get 1 lay when I was a teenager. I was painfully close in summer 2011. After that embarrassing disaster nothing changed till 3 years later.
I wanted to compensate for all those lays I should have got. Which is kind of funny when you look at it in a numeric sense because if I had been a ‘normal guy.’ Well how many sexual partners does the average guy have in a lifetime?
I had this tremendous thirst to make up for all those theoretical missed lays I should have accumulated through social circle at university and night game (in a social circle related way). Moreover, I wanted abundance. The attitude, the mentality – to KNOW I can get laid. Perhaps always with a degree of effort. But no more dry spells again.
The time was right.
It was unlikely I was going to work this year (and equally likely I would be fired), I had a WAVE of self-confidence, motivation, excitement and anticipation that I had never had before.
The time was now. Was I ready?
LOOK GOOD + TALK TO GIRLS = GET LAID
This is the true ‘GLL’ philosophy in a nutshell.
But do I look good? Good enough? Good enough to meet the looks threshold of most women such that mass approaching and playing the number’s game is productive?
And can I talk to girls?
I spoke to around 170 in 2015. Indirectly with no sexual intent (I was in a monogamous relationship after all!). I got around 50 contacts from this – around 1/3 of interaction. There was no question ‘daygame’ ran rings around ‘night game’ or ‘online game’ or any other kind of game when it came to getting numbers.
The problem was numbers didn’t turn into meetings. 5 at most from those 50 numbers – 1/10.
But at least I knew I could talk to girls. The real question was: did I look GOOD enough?
I made the decision right at the start of 2016 to give myself the highest possible chance of success and pay a ‘style consultant’ or ‘shopping assistant’ and revamp my wardrobe completely.
I ditched the increasingly ‘generic and tacky’ leather jacket look and replaced it with a ‘classy, European gentleman’ look. Boy was I about to learn…
I certainly FELT more attractive than ever before. No-one could disagree that I looked stylish. I was self-conscious about the receding hairline despite my best attempts to hide it with a clever hair-cut.
So I just threw myself straight into it.
400 or so approaches over a 3-month period, mostly in Central Europe with a small handful in Eastern Europe where I visited to get an impression of the local ladies.
Utilising both online dating (TINDER mostly) and DIRECT cold approach, I partook in over FIFTY DATES during this period.
What a truly memorable and excruciating era that was…
Somehow despite my highly emotional and neurotic personality I had incredibly endurance I didn’t even know I had. It was like I was surfing a wave of self-confidence, motivation, hope and faith in this ‘daygame’ thing.
The problem was I wasn’t getting laid and the mighty wave of hope was starting to crash against the shores of reality and lose momentum. By May by which time I was (briefly) working hard offshore I had only ONE lay.
An average looking girl from Eastern Europe involving a lot of alcohol. And that was fairly early on. I never imagined I would be at risk of becoming an alcoholic. I had seemed to be immune to that except during nightclub nights. In Eastern Europe especially however, I ended up relying on it to numb the devastating pain of multiple failures, rejections and anger as a result. A beginner as neurotic as me should NEVER have started his journey in the FSU – worst idea ever. In Kiev I actually managed to bring a girl from cold approach to my place only to get cockblocked by her Turkish husband (I didn’t know about that or that she had converted to islam) texting her. Then there was the local celebrity singer in Minsk from badoo who rejected me after 4 dates whilst giving me a chest infection for my troubles.
Somehow, although I was able to acquire crazy quantities of dates, I simply couldn’t get anywhere on them. Girls were conservative as fuck and even on date 3s, I couldn’t get so much as a kiss.
In desperation I ended up crossing paths with a traveling nomad called ‘Kyle Trouble’ who had sacked in his corporate job to travel abroad and coach men and make money with his ‘game and lifestyle’ orientated website.
Apparently unable to discover the cause of my endless failures I paid him without question to audit my approaches and more crucially dates. I would audio record them whilst he would watch from across the room and report back to me afterward.
For him Central Europe was easier compared to California despite the fact the local culture is more conservative. I had a flashback to a Roosh V meet-up where the bearded man himself told me I would struggle here due to my lack of ‘foreigner appeal’ and looking like a local with the added disadvantage of not having social circles or language abilities here as well.
This guy seemed to get laid with ease and on the first date! He was a Eurasian who stood out so it was no wonder. It was a truly extraordinary experience overall, as expensive as it was.
The 3 month period of all out effort concluded with a date where Kyle and a famous daygamer called John Bodi who was a student of the legendary Nick Krauser (who wrote the fantastic memoirs ‘Death by 1000 sluts’ – quite simply the best story about ‘daygame’ every written imo) auditing in real time a date I was having with a very hot girl I had approached.
I managed to make out with her, have a very sexual conversation but fail to bring her back to my place.
I had a full-on mental breakdown, screaming in the streets and punching stone walls and crying myself to sleep. How the fuck could I not get one lay from a total of 650 approaches???? (including 2015) So many dates with girls – some with 3+ only to be ‘friendzoned.’ Again and again and again…
I knew this was reality hitting me full force in the face. Kyle was convinced it was my ‘game’ – making several small mistakes at once such as continuing to talk about sex when I was trying to bounce the girl to my place. Stuff that is true in retrospect – all the small things and putting my foot in it at key moments. Yet, I couldn’t shake off the notion that there was something in my appearance that was holding me back. Something Chris said about girls deciding how fast to sleep with a guy based on where he falls on the badboy/boyfriend potential spectrum…
As I sat offshore, I struggled to focus. All I could think about was: what was holding me back? Was I not attractive enough?
As the weeks past and the date where I would be approaching 100s of women edged closer and closer I knew exactly what I had to do.
I had to get serious. Deadly serious. About my looks.
PART 5: EXTREME MEASURES: THE GOLDEN-EAGLE MAKE-OVER
I ended up making a list of all possible changes I could make to boost my appearance.
I had to believe I had what it took to become ‘above average.’ It didn’t help that girls never ‘IOIed’ me. This was proof above all I was not an attractive guy. I had been told I had a ‘nice guy smile,’ ‘a feminine face,’ and a very weak chin which would always keep my face being below average. Even if I got my body-fat low to 6% I would likely still have this problem.
But what could I work on?
• Height? Leg-lengthening surgery is not feasible at all. The technology just isn’t there yet. I embraced 3inch insoles for my shoes. I did that years ago in fact. I barely even notice it now. I reach just about 5’10 now with this adjustment
• Hair. The biggest issue by far. The one that provokes the most powerful feelings of inferiority, lack of confidence and angst. What could be done about that?
• Ears. They were not only asymmetrical but the fact my hair-line was receding so much just made them even more prominent. What could be done?
After being tipped by a friend and consulting with SSK08 (fast becoming a good friend whom I had met twice by this point), I decided to undertake ‘scalp micropigmentation’ – a head tattoo essentially.
Looking like Professor X, a Shrek double or try hard just doesn’t work in this game
The line has been drawn. I was about to step over that line…
Above you have pictures of the block that is my head immediately post-first session and a few weeks later once all 3 sessions had been completed.
I LOVED my new look.
I felt so liberating to never ever have to worry about my hairline again. To need to go to the barbers and trust the barber to do a half-decent job. All I need to do is shave my head every other day. I will need to top it up every 2 years.
Anyone even THINKING of undertaking this process, think no more. Just do it. You will 100000% not regret it. Just make sure you get it done at a top quality clinic and no less. In some European countries you can get the same quality of treatment as a top rated clinic in the UK/USA. Get in touch with me if you would like more details.
I was not done yet however.
My approaching continued shortly after I recovered from the head tattoo. I was still getting dates and by now I was changing my techniques a little bit. I learned about the ‘2 date model’ Blackdragon recommended. Little or no escalation (including kissing) on the 1st date but going all the way on the second.
My data logging was as detailed as my actual job. Some say it tanks your vibe but I wanted to know precisely what my results were and where I need to improve.
About half way into May I got 2 lays. One with a (very) below average tinder girl (still a low-level victory for me at that point).
And the other was my first ever cold approach lay – solid 6.5 blonde with massive boobies.
It only took 480 approaches to get there.
It was the 2nd great life changing moment after the day I actually got my first notch in 2014.
All I remember from that night was a distinct feeling of gratitude and appreciation for the girl. She had saved my soul. My life. If it wasn’t for this one victory, I have no idea how long I would have lasted during this project.
Tesco deliveries for a week
A week after the bandages came off. The discomfort was worth it.
Probably the first time I really liked how I looked
As summer approached I logged a total of 760 approaches before heading to Africa for work. I wasn’t too happy with a ratio of 1/760. My dream was to get it down to at least 1/100. I think that is about as good as I could expect if the girls I am scoring are ‘7s.’ At that point my phone was FULL of prospects and time would tell how many of them I could convert.
3 lays in 6 months was not stellar at all but I had yet to fully unleash my new look….
As the middle of summer approached I arrived back in Central Europe with a 100% rejuvenated sense of inspiration and motivation. I was going to KILL it.
To me delight I experienced an unprecedented success spree with tinder. Within the first few weeks I had invited an Italian directly to my place (employing BIB’s legendary tinder guide) and fucked her within 30 minutes. You can’t imagine how surreal it was having a solid ‘7’ wearing only a towel whispering: ‘do you wanna fuck me?’ in my ear. The very same ‘me’ as whose history with women had been a complete train-wreck till the age of 25…
Then I fucked a 6 foot hotel manager who came directly to mine on date 2. We literally broke the bed but I was not complaining! I was on a crazy high – the mental breakdown in April was being laid to rest at last.
I was unable to get many of my past contacts to meet and word spread that there were less ‘conservative’ countries in Central Europe with the flipside that they were more ‘touristy’ and hence more ‘played out.’ Why not take advantage of free movement with the EU while I could?
Both Prague and Budapest turned out to be considerably more difficult. While I was able to number close ¼ of all my approach targets, I didn’t get even 1 date despite spending a fortnight in each city. Originally I planned 4 weeks in each but decided to cut it off half-way through simply because I knew where I was before was easier to get dates (and because I had established a base there).
By the time summer was over I had approached almost 970 girls.
But still just one lay. I had managed to retain that girl and was regularly fucking her every other week. But the fact remained if she disappeared (she did eventually) I would be facing a dry spell once again (the tinder girls didn’t survive my absence gaming in other countries).
I was reminded WHY I am hunting for notches and a respectable approach to lay ratio.
But despite my 2 major physical changes I was still not converting dates. Was there much else I COULD change at this point?
The heroes we all hear about – somehow I met them all in the same place (different times)
Krauser, Torero and Roosh V - I met them all within 2 years and in the same part of the world. Were any of them MUCH better looking than me? Krauser especially I could believe 100% is legit and fucks a lot of hot girls having seen him in action and noticing the way girls on the street looked at him. He probably looked the MOST like me. Interestingly he admitted to me the importance of looks and that (as Roosh said) if you are traveling for pussy then pay attention to whether or not you get ‘IOI’s. If you don’t then its time to get back on the plane because you won’t do any better than in your own country. Of course the 4 of us were united in our love for Central/European girls due to their femininity and beauty which is ultimately why we were here.
They all were ‘advanced gamers’ however and believed that the difference between a man with ‘advanced game’ (swag factor in GLL terms) was tremendous but was incredibly hard to acquire. Most men at best reached the ‘intermediate’ stage where although he gets laid from cold approach, he does so very inefficiently/unproductively having to make it an almost part-time job in order to continuously bang new notches.
Perhaps the time had come having clocked almost 1000 approaches to ‘audit’ my infield approaching? Perhaps the reason I was getting so many dates yet they were going almost nowhere was because the girl never really recognised me as a sexual threat in the first place? And in Central Europe girls can be incredibly naïve so unless you clearly indicate your intent (and in an effective way) then I will only continue to get the fucking I’ve been getting (none – or one).
Of course I wasn’t willing to pay $500/hour+ for a session, even from the ‘very best.’ I wasn’t rich and I still firmly believed I simply had to work more on my looks/style and coming across more confidently which would happen naturally from practice.
As it turned out I did end up paying a ‘daygame coach’ who had been approved by the ‘best’ who was gaining a solid reputation. And for a major bargain. As ‘technically’ orientated as he was, full of pua terms and precision ‘game’ logic, he immediately put me right when it came to style.
In fact his strongest critiques were my looks and style. He informed me I should ditch the ‘provider beta-male’ blazers that cover my physique and I would increase my ‘SMV’ by a point right off the bat.
I learned my eye contact was weak, I didn’t smile enough or properly, that there was no male/female polarity, that I came across as far too friendly and nice and didn’t constitute a sexual threat at all. Girls didn’t even know they were being picked up! I knew he was right. I had been playing the provider approach despite thinking I was aggressively hitting on girls and all the results I got from the dates confirmed it 100%.
It was time to bin the fancy ‘dandy-man’ style in exchange for bad-assery. Even my 2014/2015 style from earlier would have been better. That is what you get for paying a female style consultant for shopping advice, no matter how reputable.
Now I was getting DEADLY serious with style. The most bad-ass I could muster.
Now I felt like I was truly a ‘6.’ Not the ‘7’ I desired and was starting to believe deep down I was not capable of achieving. It didn’t matter too much at this point. I was starting to get laid semi-regularly from tinder. With 5s and 6s mostly but this was progress. 7 tinder lays since returning in mid-summer. 2 were direct to my apartment. The rest were all 2-date lays. This was HUGE!
And then the next victory was with the hottest girl I had ever been with. An 8.5 Slovakian girl whom I had dated from tinder thrice during my 2 weeks in Czech. I took a calculated (and ill-advised risk based on countless similar experiences that had resulted in failure) and returned there a month later to ‘close the loop.’ My head was spinning in the clouds by that point. This was the sheer calibre of quality I was capable of attaining with my ‘new look.’ I was so filled with confidence and joy that even when this other girl (‘6’ at best) came directly to my place from tinder once this 8.5 had left, and rejected my advances it didn’t even phase me. This was abundance. It was like a temporary and powerful vaccination against all the memories of the depression and hopelessness barely a couple of years ago.
Interestingly more than 1 forum member here predicted by ‘blitz’ of success. Rousseau you were right! I don’t know how you knew but you did.
By now I had decided that I wanted to try yet another country in the hopes I would have some kind of advantage in cold approach but not too far from home. In the end I decided to shack up with a fellow GLL and spend a month in Ukraine. Here the hottest girls on the planet lived and if you could endure the very conservative attitudes here as well as the tough living environment riddled with corruption and inefficiency… I had visited Ukraine and Belarus for a week each back in spring but had been crushed by the difficulty of the Eastern European FSU countries, especially the latter. But I felt I was more ready now.
I was willing to try my luck and I am glad I did. As my mentor Kyle said it was indeed conservative and that even for the best players you were doing incredibly well if you got the bang by date 3. At first I was in love with the place. Over 40% of the girls I approached out of around 120 gave me their contact details and I went on 1st dates with 12 or so of them. This wasn’t even including tinder where I dated a further 6.
About half way through the trip, despite all the dates it was feeling very much like I was going to fail. Even on the 3rd date I was lucky if I got a make-out and I ended up losing almost all of the girls despite the fact I was dating almost EVERY day! My 2nd dramatic mental breakdown came when this ‘8’ I had met at a couchsurfing meeting earlier in the year rejected me in my own apartment on the 3rd date. I ended up binging on alcohol and barely keeping it together – it was almost too much for me.
Thankfully with the help of kratom and a renewed determination I left with 2 bangs – 1 from tinder and 1 from cold approach – my 2nd success. By now I was at 1080 approaches but I was just ecstatic at managing to lay a solid ‘7’ on the very last day. I never boarded a plane with such a smile on my face. It was proven. TWICE. Cold approach absolutely works. It is bloody taxing and tough as hell but it works.
During my 4 weeks in Eastern Europe my hamster experimented with MK-677/Ostarine and ended up having the best body in my life so far. Top 3 are pre, bottom are after around 4 weeks.
I got flaked on by the Slovakian 8.5 during my final week before making my grande finale trip of the year. It was painful but I focused as much as I could on the fact I had banged her and achieved something I would not have believed I was capable of even a year ago. Even 3 months ago.
As part of a major experiment, I decided to try my luck in South America. After doing a lot of research and the fact my fellow GLL buddy SSK08 was staying there I chose the south of Brazil. Here people have more European ancestry than the north, more populous (and touristy) parts such as Rio and Sao Paolo.
My approach anxiety was a lot higher in Brazil mostly due to fears over safety and crime. It proved unfounded as even in one of the most dangerous cities in the country, I was unscathed even after 6 weeks. I noticed how different the dating culture was. Although I had 150 matches (many times more than what I would get in Europe), I ended up only meeting 3 due to extreme flakiness and language barrier. My 1 notch was a professional figure skater so it was worth the insane efforts!
I only approached 65 or so girls but ended up getting ANOTHER cold approach lay with a yoga instructor who also owned a hostel (where I got the notch).
I will never forget how I felt when she looked into my eyes afterward and said: ‘you are so beautiful.’
Amir and I trained kickboxing and ate alcatra steak almost most week-days. I told him: 5 years ago I was told by this hipster little dyke at a night club in Britain: ‘you have nice shoulders but with a face like yours, you will never get laid here.’ I had come to believe her. Finally, now I had my revenge.
As the final week of the year 2016 approached I decided to go and travel to Uruguay and Argentina. There I decided to continue the AA program which I felt I needed as I still felt I could only approach 70% of the girls I wanted to in any given situation. This proved to be a waste of time more or less as the truth was I didn’t need it. I had killed AA simply by approaching 1000+ times.
On the very last day of 2016 in another large Brazilian city I got my very first clear ‘IOI’ from a lady walking with her friend. I approached them with my basic Portuguese and they actually invited me to coffee. In Europe this would never happen. I would inevitably get blown off even if 1 girl liked me.
The lady’s friend went to work and she then walked me to her apartment. As soon as we were inside, we undressed and fucked in the shower. My first ‘same-day lay.’
It was INSANE. Was this fate? Was this some kind of reward or karma or some kind? Then I remembered if I hadn’t approached when that lady I would not be sitting on the night flight to Mexico with a gigantic ‘I got laid in 45 minutes smile.’
As I drank my last ever bottle of wine (or alcoholic beverage) in my Latin Central America apartment before 2017 began, I reflected on what had been the most epic year of my life. 16 notches, 4 of which were true cold approach lays. It was beyond any words I could conjure up.
2017 began with a blast. 9 new lays within 2 weeks – all tinder girls I had invited directly to my apartment.
I knew as I flew back to Europe that the ‘easy period’ whilst fun, invigorating and life-changing was over and that if I wanted to regularly ‘get laid’ from cold approach I still had a very long, challenging road ahead.
But I had build up a lattice of amazing memories and experiences I would take with me to my death bed.
All of you fantastic men in the forums who took time out of your day to support me like the brothers I never had.
A major shout-out to Badideabear who ran his journey parallel to mine who gave me fantastic advice, particularly when it came to tinder.
Thanks to Alwaysbeclosing who truly made what would otherwise have been a pure nightmare in Aberdeen very much more enjoyable when we got shit-faced and kratomed up together.
Rousseau, Leopard, NostringsAttached, Mikesplosion and other veterans of the GLL community who chipped in to my log to keep me right. Global Nomad has supported me throughout and has been an unlimited fountain of generosity.
Keepyourheadup for introducing me to the idea of SMP and supporting me during my darkest lows. The SMP practitioner who did a masterful job on my egghead. The otoplasty surgeon too.
Brissbrass, Kurvam really glad I met you guuys during my travels..
My 2 'instructors' for their invaluable input and help. Wannabealpha for his ingenious photo modification prowess helping my tinder gaming immensely.
And all the other awesome guys I didn’t mention but helped me along my pathway.
Needless to say SSK08 for his tough-love advice when I needed it most. We are working on a supplementary podcast which I hope guys who are really struggling with this whole pick up thing will enjoy a lot.
And the big-man himself Emperor Chris.
Chris responded and said: “If you want to have a rewarding sex life you will do what it takes.”
Amen to that.
General Statistics (2015-2016)
Total Dates: 154
Total Girls Dated: 89
Of whom were from Cold Approach: 45
Of whom were from Tinder/Online: 44
Of whom were from Cold Approach: 4 (got another 3 in 2017 from this era)
Of whom were from Tinder/Online: 12
Flags: USA, Poland, Ukraine, Hungary, Pakistan, Slovakia, Brazil
Sorry for the delay guys. I've been on the road all week and will continue to be for the next week also. So this is the 2nd attempt at a podcast between myself and SSK. Apologies in advance for any short-comings - this is literally the 1st podcast I have ever partaken in and I hope you enjoy it!
Contact me if you want the link
04:45 Who is this podcast for? Guys like me who struggle a lot
08:00 SSK’s part in nudging me toward travel for getting pussy
09:00 But if you can’t get laid in your own country would it be any different abroad? Why go abroad in the first place?
13:20 Is it even easier in foreign countries?
16:10 What about green card seekers?
19:25 What should you do before you go abroad?
23:40 A little research never hurts
28:40 Mistake - banged the girl not met - met 3 in Brazil
29:20 Amir’s preferences lol
29:50 What changed for me that I had that burst of successes?
‘Essential advice for guys who are really struggling’
32:20 Dealing with receding hairlines
33:20 Importance of NOT looking like a beta provider when you are struggling
34:40 Learning to ‘really’ screen even when you don’t know how or aren’t a believer
35:40 Able to see a pattern of what works and what doesn’t?
37:10 Importance of not screening out DTF girls with provider clothing
40:00 Small changes have big effects - dating technique
40:23 Power of cultural norms and how it relates to DTF girls
43:06 How far will I go to look good? How far is too far?
49:00 How to deal with the highs and lows of cold approach? How SSK dealt with the emotional rollercoaster
50:50 What about guys who hate social circle and night game?
52:50 If I don’t get warm approach signals is it worth it to cold approach?
54:50 3 cold approach lays, not a dozen*
56:25 Online dating as being the ultimate tool in the cold approacher’s toolkit
57:50 How did Idan deal with the intense lows in his journey?
010215: MAKE A LOG!
010245: Lows were mostly before my ‘procudures’ or not?
010336: Defeat depressive lows with successes
010620: How do we feel 3 years later?
010850: Dealing with bad romantic relationships
011400: Are social circle and night game necessary?
011640: Approaching with a wing - good idea or not?
011920: Should I pay for training/coaching?
012230: Why I didn’t do the AA program and why you should!
012330: The value of the GLL forum community online and offline
012540: Why did GLL change our lives and not Mystery and RSD?
012800: Where the day-game community falls short
012850: What is Idan’s plan now?
013250: Is it necessary to learn a language to get tons of pussy abroad?
013710: Thank yous and final comments!!!!
Congrats on your success, you deserve it after all the effort. 15 lays per year is more lays than the lifetime average of most guys.
You said you never did the AA program, so did you just ask girls for directions and steadily go to direct game? I want to start approaching but I'm spoiled/blessed with a huge social circle which is how I get laid. What is your approach-blueprint?
- Body: 10lbs short
- Graduate DONE
- 5 new lays (8/5) DONE + got 3 FBs in rotation
- 1/20 lays
- Get masters
- +10lbs muscle mass at 9% bf
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.