TOPIC: Can get girls home with me. But many don't return. What am I doing wrong?

Tbh j don't think ur gonna find a satisfactory answer because there isn't rely 1.

U r way overthinking it and u have a lot less control than u think in this game

Suppose I follow Chris retention to a t and the girl stays, but I'd argue that even if I didn't that girl woulda stage anyways because the retention method in the end wasn't the reason she stayed

She stayed because she wanted to and liked me and wanted something similar to me and we clicked

It has a lot to do with the girl than u and a lot of guys r afraid to admit this cuz it means relinquishing control and realizing we r powerless in a lot of ways

Everything comes down to a numbers game including the number of girls that stays and the sooner u accept the loss ratio the happier u will be

Yes there r stuff u can do to "max" ur ofds but u rly shuld focus on finding that girl(s) who will stay without u doing anything instead of tryin to keep every single 1 of them

Trust me they r out there u just need to hit on more chicks

Now days for me I don't give a single f about "rules" anymore I text when I want I see them when I want becuz the girls I see r interested in sticking around regardless of what I do if it makes any sense

Just accept u will lose a lot more than u will win, think/analyze less and hit on girls more it will solve like 90% of ur problems

Dis shit is prob few things in world where more analyzing and thinking is actually counterproductive

Dude fuck black dragon!

CitySleek wrote: Tbh j don't think ur gonna find a satisfactory answer because there isn't rely 1.

U r way overthinking it and u have a lot less control than u think in this game

Suppose I follow Chris retention to a t and the girl stays, but I'd argue that even if I didn't that girl woulda stage anyways because the retention method in the end wasn't the reason she stayed

She stayed because she wanted to and liked me and wanted something similar to me and we clicked

It has a lot to do with the girl than u and a lot of guys r afraid to admit this cuz it means relinquishing control and realizing we r powerless in a lot of ways

Everything comes down to a numbers game including the number of girls that stays and the sooner u accept the loss ratio the happier u will be

Yes there r stuff u can do to "max" ur ofds but u rly shuld focus on finding that girl(s) who will stay without u doing anything instead of tryin to keep every single 1 of them

Trust me they r out there u just need to hit on more chicks

Now days for me I don't give a single f about "rules" anymore I text when I want I see them when I want becuz the girls I see r interested in sticking around regardless of what I do if it makes any sense

Just accept u will lose a lot more than u will win and hit in more girls it will solve like 90% of ur problems

Thanks for this. I'm actually fine with it being all to chance at the end of the day, just wanna make sure that's the actual consensus and not cuz a lot of us lack the experience to really know. You hear a lot of guys talk about how they can make 90% of girls they sleep with their girlfriends if they want, or some shit like that, and I just cannot fathom how that's remotely possible (I'm not looking for a gf, just making the point).

All that being said tho--I'm sure there's still shit we can do every time where we can say "I dunno if she's gonna come around again or not, but I did my part here."

For example texting her the next day that we had a good time, or some small shit like that just to make sure based are covered. That's just a hypothetical. And what I'm trying to find out. What people typically do, even if you know the outcome could be mostly unpredictable.

What I do is meet them ASAP to fuck them again and then same after. Methods differ because all girls are different. There's no one thing I 'do'.

Everyone's been here, there are no shortcuts to learning what works for you. The biggest shortcut to getting experienced with girls is to meet more girls (some irony intended).

Mikesplosions wrote: What I do is meet them ASAP to fuck them again and then same after. Methods differ because all girls are different. There's no one thing I 'do'.

Everyone's been here, there are no shortcuts to learning what works for you. The biggest shortcut to getting experienced with girls is to meet more girls (some irony intended).

Word. But what I'm asking about is in between those bangs, what do you typically do in terms of setting it up again? Like do you always wait for her to text first. Or do you just hit her up when you feel like it? There's gotta be some sort of plan you typically stick to right?

She either digs you or not man.. Once you've shagged her she really can't see you again just for attention.. So she knows that she's a booty call. I suppose some girls don't like that feeling.

I dunno.. We're splitting hairs here. I just gauge the mood and text her whenever I think best to say that I had fun, she's sexy, and to come see me again 'to cook' or 'to watch the next film in the series' etc. If I think a girl is flakey I call her and chat for a bit like Chris advised somewhere.. But then again some girls don't pick up. Or they pick up and you make arrangements then they ghost anyway. Or they pick up and you get on great and they come see you again.

Personally I chase girls.. if I think it's worth it and she's at least a bit receptive to seeing me again. I try and bang them a couple of times in the first week. And I don't mind texting each day if it means she stays interested. But the thing is I've done the exact opposite and been hardcore douche.. And girls have stayed with me for a long time. I have a friend who does the hardcore thing as it's more his personality, and he gets the same back that I do from girls. Who knows?

There's not much I can say, it's not about repeatable things.. It's just an experience thing.

I'm not even qualified to give advice because I'm not that experienced. Mainly replying because you asked me specifically and I think you're starting to 'get it' on an intellectual level at least, that it's really not something you can do much about as a guy. Apart from not be socially retarded - and not being socially retarded just takes exposure, MISTAKES, and practise.


ETA - without wanting to sound arrogant this is the sort of thing that really only comes with repeated exposure (experience). Do exactly what Chris says if you're unsure and make sure you have a good network of at least 1 (preferably 2) friends on Skype or Whatsapp that are going through through the same experiences (and frustrations) that you can shoot the shit with and swap stuff with. When you've been ghosted by 10 or so girls you'll start trying stuff out. Like Chris says being a Player is something you ARE, not something you do. It's all about experience. Until then just follow the guides. Having a support network of friends/GLLs REALLY helps as well.

This is why PUA's are so pathetic, because even with the experience they are trapped in a cage of 'rules' and 'techniques (tricks)' and stuff.the MENTALITY is at fault.. That there is a way to control other people. Or that it's even fucking worth bothering.

Thanks for writing that out dude. Good read.

I pretty much agree with Mike.

My answer is basically "I don't know". I don't have enough experience to tell you what the best way to retain girls is.

It seems almost completely random. Even Chris talks about how he loses 50% of the girls he sleeps with afterwards. So right there, you can estimate 50% of the girls will be gone pretty quick no matter what you do. That's certainly consistent with my experience.

The remaining 50%? Well I honestly couldn't tell you because I just finished my redshirt year.

Dude fuck black dragon!

I started writing a long comment, but I have a date coming up soon and I'm running late...
I'll post it later...wish me luck

Bad Idea Bear wrote: I pretty much agree with Mike.

My answer is basically "I don't know". I don't have enough experience to tell you what the best way to retain girls is.

It seems almost completely random. Even Chris talks about how he loses 50% of the girls he sleeps with afterwards. So right there, you can estimate 50% of the girls will be gone pretty quick no matter what you do. That's certainly consistent with my experience.

The remaining 50%? Well I honestly couldn't tell you because I just finished my redshirt year.

Thanks for the reply. Do you know what article/vid Chris says that in? That's some powerful stuff.

@ETA--looking forward to reading your thoughts.

This topic can't be covered by just one thread, so we gotta be open minded about what other guys post on here. Gather info from various sources, cross reference it with our experience and what makes sense to us. Not simply blindly, accept or reject what we read from other people...

@AustinC:

FUCK man that article is incredible! The comments are great too. I wish we could see some thorough discussion about that here as well.

Posting about new lays, is glamorous and fun. Posting about repetitive lays, is not, so you don't see it mentioned that much, unless someone like you comes and asks these kind of questions. Chris has a retention guide, which I think is not comprehensive(conclusive?). So reading, from BD is a good supplement to the whole "getting laid thing"
You have to take in consideration that (unlike BD) Chris didn't have any (direct) profit from laying out all the information. But for beginner to average guy it's more than you need to have an active sexual life, experience will teach you the rest.
In the mean time there's lots of useful info in that blog, so keep reading there, and a lot of things will start making sense.

ASD- anti slut defense. She feels sluty because of what she did with you. Let's be honest, what we do here, is not normal(but perfectly legal). The average guy doesn't know how to talk to girls, let alone knowing how to get laid. So girls are used to dragging things along..why? because they are reactive, they don't take leadership. So it's your responsibility to set the tone of the interaction. In that article you will find comment about it, and BD's response.
ASD can kick in 2 cases:
1.You escalate quickly and a lot, but not enough to have sex. That's the reason why BD advocates a 2 date system, to avoid ASD from kicking in during the first date. Based on what he teaches, your goal on the first date is increase sexual tension through touching and sexual conversation(no kissing). This decreases the last minute resistance when you meet the second time.
2.The second time it's after you have sex for the first time. That's why he suggests to fuck her at least a couple of time to get her used to fucking you, and avoid falling in the ONS category.

on that site he recommends setting up a second date with a girl that night

I don't remember him writing about it, do you have the link to the article, part? Personally I keep the texting going, and suggest the second date within the next day or two. You seem to be doing well with logistics too(as in, bouncing from the bar to your place)

Something other guys have had success with, is to take it slow when you're at your place(escalate with breaks in between where you open up talk about shit, then try it back again).. If you're willing to spend a few hours talking and connecting, then go for it. Personally, I'm all in and escalate quickly. Most of these girls I try it with, are usually from dates. So there's a spike in the interaction from chill date to having sex within a couple of hours. This is something that will bring some resistance if she's not fully DTF.
Guys that fuck girls quickly, usually find them in social setting such as parties or bars where the "Fun" tone paired with alcohol, is already set. So the interaction is more fluid. It's important to understand how the interaction with the girls started.

As I write about this, I'm thinking to personally put a twist to DB's system. In that article he suggests setting up the second date asap. In retrospective for a reason or another, I haven't followed up very quickly with girls I tried to have sex(girls that I got really close to fucking, but didn't make it), so I'm gonna make sure that I keep in touch and try to set up a date asap. On top of this I'll try to do an activity on that date, instead of just another drink or my place...will see, this is just a mental note. I don't mind going to an extra couple of dates with girls, if showed resistance when I escalated quickly

@BIB

Personally, I think he DOES have a few stupid ideas

Yeah, or like "Don't touch(hug) when you first meet"
I'm very touchy person, so I go for the hug right from the beginning.
But he's very open with his 2-date system, which he recommends to beginner-intermediate level guys. If you know what you're doing, then break his rules.

@Mikesplosions

without wanting to sound arrogant this is the sort of thing that really only comes with repeated exposure (experience).

I understand very well what both Chris and BD say.
My biggest problem is that I'm not consistent with these things, which affects my numbers. That's why it's good to have a system, a set of rules to fall back to when things don't seem to work out.
/
Example1: you just got out of a very busy life with school or work,and you're ready to get laid. IF you know GLL info in and out, then all you need is these 2 basic rules: Look your best, and hit the numbers. It's empirical evidence that you have experienced previously. Your game might be rusty, but you know you are bound to get laid. That is why I can go for months without a new lay and not let it mess me up. Because I know that all I need to do to get back on the game are those two rules.

Example2: if you know how to get laid but you're busy with your life where you don't have time chasing new pussy all the time, then if you have learned and apply what's on BD blog, then you know you can create and retain a rotation of a few girls.

It's good to have a system of rules in place, for cases when you lose sight of things. Because it's hard to be introspective to understand your mistakes while you are in action. Having that system helps get back on your feet.

I also think that the best people who should give advice are not only those who can get laid(possibly with hot chicks) but those who are getting laid at the time of their posting. I have rarely given out advice on getting laid lately, mostly because my mind is not in it right now and I know I don't have the full vision of how things connect. I don't have the fresh reference experience. That's why it took me a little long to write this.

---

I also want to add some other random thoughts since I'm in a writing mode:
I recently realized something about the cliche expression "Be Yourself". It does not mean to be your flawed self, since you clearly know is not getting you things that your want. What "Be Yourself" means, is the part of being "Fluid" and "Congruent" with your behavior.Usually you are Fluid and Congruent with your flawed traits.
What you should do is to take these two concepts of Fluidity and Congruency, and fill them up with the traits you most desire. Master those traits to the point where you become fluid. In GLL terms, Killer instinct is about fluidity of your actions

And, I'm out...Peace