TOPIC: Geppetto Approach Log

I'm confused, you say you don't want a serious relationship but you're buying a girl you just met a birthday present?

Your actions are not congruent with your words.

@badideabear where i live we use to buy a present if the birthday is hosted in her house, everyone will do. But yep, im very confused and uncongruent, i realize that. Maybe today i have clearer ideas. yersterday i felt completely insane and overwhelmed

So i was really planning to go her birthday party yerstarday, i got a little present for her, but i was so tired in the evening i could literally fall asleep. This adds to the fact that i dont want these experiences to be too traumatic, its ok to face tension but i dont want my brain to perceive good situations as nightmares, and yersterday this was exactly what was happening: i would have been there, sleepy, without talking to anyone probably (i didnt know anyone except for her), and it would have been so hard to pull her away because she's the one who was celebrating. Still i prepared myself to go, setting up my mind to face the entire thing as a big drill.
But at the last moment i msg her and told her i wasnt coming because i was dead tired.
I felt like shit yerstarday, but today i think i did good. And my principle in the last 2 months is that the world is no more a training ground as when i was doing the AA program, but i need to see it as something to enjoy.
Anyway i will see if she is up to see me again, i think she is, because she very much liked me, but i will wait some days.

anyway my last 5-6 approaches where sooo good, i dont know what happened lately.

i have another girl (20 yo, very nice) who keeps msging me everyday, but she sounds so childish in her msgs it really turns me off.
I approached her in the bus....the thing is that we smiled at each other (not necessary ofc) then i went there to talk....the bus suddenly accelerate and i miss the hangups falling behind her, and i kept missing the next hangups too so i literally started running past her. Very nice stuff. And the approach went great despite this, which was hilarious.

I have to know that my situation is good now and dont feel depressed, i can really do what i want and i know that girls tend to like my approaches now