TOPIC: Rousseau's log, random stuff.

November 10th

Up at 9:30am

These past few days havent been the best. Today will be better.

I just bought shoes that I needed. After I buy a pair of black jeans, Im going to get out of here, and then go home. Hit the gym after.

I bought two pairs of shoes today and a new pair of jeans. Man, Im so glad to have new pants. Those old Guess jeans are getting too tight on my quads, and theyre just worn out. Im sick of seeing them. All i need now is a nice blazer from jack and jones, and a couple t-shirts and Im set for awhile again. I needed new clothes so bad.

A long time ago I seen a bombshell white girl get cat called by a bunch of black guys. She was very fine. I seen her again a couple weeks later and I noticed she was lookin at me when she was smoking. I seen her again today and she gave me the BIGGEST IOI ive seen from a girl in awhile. She was eyeing me up like crazy!! Even giggling and smiling when she noticed that I noticed her staring at me.

She was going down the escalator and I was going up. I was carrying 4 bags, so it was logistically incredibly inconveinent for me to chase her down lol. Maybe, im better looking than I thought.

The brown coat with the jeans and shoes is too much. It looks kind of tacky and try hard. I know for next time. It doesnt look that bad actually.

I finally got a girls number after like 4 days of not getting one. Im going to get dropped off at the mall when im done work so i can go to the gym.

I got yet another bunk number again today. Pretty weird.

10:00 pm I need to do two more approaches today before I go home. I might even go to the main terminal in the city to finish it off


1) Laptop repair
2) Gym
3) Approach 5 girls
4) Class
5) Write orders.

I did 4 approaches today, 1 short.

Tomorrow's tasks:
1) Seamstress
2) Replace light in my room
3) Approach 5 girls
4) Buy a couple T-shirts
5) Gym
6) Write orders

November 11th

Up at 9:30am.

I had to uber to my appointment with my seamstress. Good to get that taken care of.

Now im going to hit the gym.

Im still having a tough time with the avoidance weasel. I keep seeing girls on campus and not approaching them because Im worried that Ive approached them 4 times already.

Screw the weasel, I should approach anyway LOL. No matter what.

Im going to creep girls out like crazy today haha

I think theres something off about my approaches. Im getting weird reactions. Like girls saying "do you even go here?". Ya, I go here bitch. I study on this campus

1:48pm
Im going home to make lunch and grab the light that I need replaced. Ill probably run into a few girls to approach on my way.

Im going to go out thursday, friday, and saturday night this week. I need to finish my goal of going out 36 times.

I got a girls number today. Seemed pretty solid, but who knows lol.

Im done all my goals for the day early for a change

Now im going to chill out and read my book before work.

I bought a bathmate today I cant wait to fuck hot girls with a THICK cock! Its going to be marvelous!

3am: I had a really bad dream just now. It was about my old "friends". I almost started crying right now. I have so many old emotions inside me. I always had the feeling like nobody liked me in that group. It was terrible. Nobody did, for the longest time. When I was about 14-15, that time was the hardest. I had so much trouble fitting in and finding friends.

I remember being in this perpetual state of fear all the time, because I knew that I would be without any friends at any moment. That shit was tramautic man. I remember when he told me that "Ben is coming to pick me up, but he doesnt want YOU to come".

I remember my first g/f and how painful that was. I remember wanting to be accepted so bad. I did drugs with these guys just because I wanted to fit in somewhere. I remember always feeling like I was being slighted, because deep down inside, nobody even liked me.

I was humiliated. Im so mad at them. Im mad at them and Im mad at myself. Even though were all adults now, and we really could be good friends if I let go of this old pain, I cant let it go. I have this hatred and shame inside me, and it feels like its protecting me, but really its harming me.

I dont want to go back there ever. I dont want to be friends with any of them. I want to find my own way as a person. I want to be on my own.

Deep down inside, Im trying to make up for this pain.

1) Seamstress
2) Replace light in my room
3) Approach 5 girls
4) Buy a couple T-shirts (not a priority)
5) Gym
6) Write orders

Tomorrow:
1) Gym
2) Approach 5 girls
3) Clean apartment
4) Class
5) Write orders

how long did you smoke for and how long you quit?

Im on day 9 and look/feel considerably better. after 7-8 years on around a pack a day.. at 22 years old i was literally starting to see lines in my face everywhere. within this past week ive noticed my looks and health improve drastically. and my over all wellbeing.

went thru a massive slump but im thinking this is the kind of improvement thats going to make a big difference to me. ive decided im not even bumming smokes when i go out and party (which is always how you get hooked again)

big ups

edit: also lol theres this one girl ive approached on campus 3 or 4 times now. i just laugh it off every time and we "catch up" even though bitch is cold and tells me to text her every time.. only to ignore my messages.

Hey, i smoked for about 7 years. From when I was 14 until I was about 21. When I was 21 I started to try and quit. It took me about a year and a half of failing over and over again until I finally succeeded.

Smoking was getting to be nasty. I was always coughing, I always reeked like old smoke, my clothes reeked, my fingers were yellow and I was spending a lot of money.

I used the patch and nicorette gum to quit. It worked great for me.

Good luck.

November 12th

Up at 9:20

I really need to stop drinking energy drinks before work. I keep waking up at 3:00am.

I gotta chill out on the caffeine to. Im shitting way too much. Im going to wear out my asshole LOL.

I spent 70$ in t-shirts today at H and M. I needed some new shit fast, so I got it.

I feel GREAT today, and I think its the phenibut to be honest. I feel social and completely content and anxiety free.

I just got my second number today. I can tell its going to be a bunk number for sure though. She wanted me to take her facebook instead. I was being weird during the approach. In my head and self-conscious for some reason.

I got 3 numbers today. Probably the first good day for cold approach Ive had in a couple weeks.

I didnt go out to write orders tonight. The crew bailed, and I ended up taking a nap.

I splurged tonight and jerked off to some porn. I did last night to. Its a nice little treat every once in awhile, but other than that, it should definitely be limited. No more porn for a couple months. Im going out to a bar tonight to hit on some women.

1) gym
1.5) Buy T-shirts
2) approach
3) class
4) clean apartment
5) write orders

Tomorrow:
1) Gym
2) Date
3) Approach 5 girls
4) Write orders
5) Clean Apartment
6) Go out to bar or club

Fucking the hottest women alive is incredibly enjoyable. I encourage you all to try it some time.

FS-Ronin wrote: Fucking the hottest women alive is incredibly enjoyable. I encourage you all to try it some time.

How do you know? You haven't done it, or am I mistaken? How many A-list Hollywood actresses have you fucked?

A-list Hollywood actresses aren't the hottest women alive.

badideabear wrote: A-list Hollywood actresses aren't the hottest women alive.

Who is then? Some trash stripper with herpes and HIV? Or these ugly nobodies in the sidebar?

I'd say college cheerleaders. Or American Apparel models.

Side note: dude what the hell is wrong with you?

Im talking more along the lines of this.

badideabear wrote: I'd say college cheerleaders. Or American Apparel models.

Side note: dude what the hell is wrong with you?

Pretty sure he is A-Sexual... approximately 1% of people have no sexual orientation or desires.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality