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First time I ever went out to a club was during last summer , I went out solo . Didnt know anybody there , I behaved awkward from the beginning , didnt really know what to expect and I felt out of place . I ended up getting a drink and sitting by myself at the back pretending to be watching the tv . A bunch of girls behind me were laughing at me for being alone in the back just sipping my drink , I felt stupid as fuck . I made 2 attempts to chat with some girls and got shut down hard , literately within 5 seconds they just told me to go away . I thought it would be alot better to just talk with anyone then be alone , so I sat next to some big bodybuilder guy and we talked about random guy shit for an hour . After his buddies came and I know it was time for me to bounce . After that I left the club feeling embarrassed .
That was the most awkward fukn moment I ever had , felt like a total loser .... yet I Love the experience I got from that event . I got out of my comfort zone and did something new . I could of easily stayed home that night and watched tv but I went out of my way , out of my comfort zone and did something new and exciting . Good experience it was .
Do whatever you think is right . A guide / article on going out Solo at night would be awesome .
I had a quick shower, while thinking that it was madness but I had some balls, as soon as I was going down the building I heard people laughing so I imagined they were drinking. Rang the bell. Heart was fast. Guy opened and I told him that I was his neighbour and if I could join him.
He got schoked and went blank for few secs and he let me in. Went to the living room where everybody was, 3 guys, 3 girls. All were quiet in my presence (I'm ripped and strong), and we started talking and asking questions but everybody was listening to me.
Flirted with one of the girls who later I came to know was the girlfriend of one of them (thats why he was giving me bad looks). Whatever.
Went together to the city center and I told them goodbye and smoked a cig while watching people pass by and reducing my anxiety because I didnt know what to do. Luckily I spoke with a guy next to me and I got attached to him and his friend and ended up in a nightclub talking with few girls, but then I felt lonely and the "What will people think about me" came up and came back home quite fucking happy that I took the step, although no results at all.
Things that went bad:
-Didn't approach girls who were eye fucking me because the "What will people think about me" pop.
-At the flat of my neighboursafter iimpressing everybody, i started seeking validation because "They think I am a looser" popped in my head and I started saying things to impress...pretty try hard.
-Since I didn't like the nightclub, went outside to socialize but couldn't by myself. So I smoked 5 cigs and looked at my cell to give a good/busy image until I said, fuck it and came home. Which sucks because I usually dont smoke cigs. In fact, it wasnt anxiety physiologicaly since my body was calm, but my mind was always making those wierd excuses "I am alone, girls will reject me due to this, I look like a loner...."
-Also at the flat with my neightbours, I was giving away more personal info than I should have. I don't want to have this fucking going out alone reputation.
Dude, fucking awesome job! That takes mad courage to just go to there house and do that. I've done the same thing a couple times to my neighbors but it didn't really turn into much. I kind of did it for fun cause I have enough friends to go out with, not that it matters. I don't like partying very often anymore anyway.
Good shit though, seriously.
If you are going out once every week by yourself or forcing yourself to talk to your neighbors you'll get better. It's natural. If you do something consistently, you'll gradually get better at it, whatever it is. Same thing with me when I go through the approach anxiety program. When I first started, I used to tell myself the same things, do these other people thing I'm weird? Are these girls going to call security? This girl is hot, what is she going to think?
I am coming up to week 7, and I still have these thoughts but not even half as much. I don't give a fuck what others think. I still can't comfortably go out alone to the bar. It's not easy, and no average guy can do it. You are not average. The average guy doesn't set out goals and daily works toward that goal to achieve it.
Good job dude!
Like everything in life you get better doing it. You have to pass through feeling like shit for a while, going back home feeling like an idiot but with time you begin to not giving a fuck. I moved in Bulgaria alone for working and making friend here is hard so I began to going out alone, now after some months It's like normal and have also great time sometimes. When the awkward feeling will pass I can say going out alone is really fun because there is really nothing that stop you from doing whatever you want. Hit on chick it's much much easier!
I have some drills that guys can do to go out alone and ease themselves into the scene.
It's hard (not the drills though) and jsut telling you guys "be confident!" will do nothing
I strugled with this and I dont know a single guy who hasn't, to some degree.
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Kratom is next!
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