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Looks + cold approach get you laid once in a blue moon but will absolutely not make the girl stick around.
The girl stick around only if you PROVIDE her with something. It could be anything :
- She has low self-esteem and you are the only guy that likes her => she will stay with you (and dump you when a better option will present itself)
- She has no money and you have => she will stay with you (and dump you when a better option will present itself)
- She has no time to date guys to have sex and you just approached her => she will jump on this opportunity because she really want sex and will fuck you for a while (and dump you when a better option will present itself)
Providing doesn't necessarily means money or gifts or anything material. It can be anything.
Also girls can go for a while without sex. They all have crazy high standards and will only fuck you if you are Mr. Perfect (until a better option...) Girls I asked (or that told me without me asking for it) always told me they didn't had sex for months, even for years (2.5 years without sex before me fucking her = the longest I girl told me she went without sex).
Also, 90% of the couples I see : the girls is ALWAYS better looking than the guy. WTF ?!? How come ?!? How do they do ?!? And you know, I used to think "yeah but these guys are just little bitches and the girl are absolutely not attracted to them" but no that's not true. Girls are super duper physical with their boyfriends. If you are barely attracted to someone, I'm sorry but you try to be the less physical you can. These girls are SUPER physical with their worse-looking boyfriends. They totally seem to dig their boyfriend and cannot live without them.
How come ? Good looks ? Bitch please, I just said they are always better looking than their boyfriends ! These guys obviously bring another thing to the table.
Only trust your own experience.
Every beginner's question has a simple answer : go date 100 girls and you will have your answer. Stop asking stupid questions ; that's what girls do.
Setting up your logistics / lifestyle so you run into lots of girls where you are in a high value position is more effective. Could be lots of ways to do this - I think Chris posted about his golden era of getting laid, and it was due to him being directly plugged into a party house and supplying things for the parties. Another way is to be some talent at a local club (dj, in a band), martial arts instructor in a school, etc. Social proof > cold approach.
Cold approach is a pain the ass, and it gets worse as you get older just due to demographics.
Cold approach is good for meeting and talking to lots of women. It will give you lots of practice, but it's not where you will get the hottest girls.
I guarantee that fat ugly dude with a hottie on his arm, didn't pick her up a starbucks. He probably met her through friends/ relatives or at work. Hot girls can and will fall in love with ugly dudes, if they have other stuff going for them, (money, status, power, cool friends, great job, etc.)
The reason you're not getting laid is because you aren't offering anything besides sex to these girls. Whether you like it or not, the vast majority of girls don't like to fuck just for the sake of fucking. Some do, but most don't. I think the reason why so many girls (even the DTF ones) flake on you is because you probably act like a stranger (who just wants to fuck) around them. This is my assumption. I'm assuming this because I'm probably worse looking (I'm very good looking and have a nice body but I'm 5'7'') than you yet still fuck more of the girls I meet than you do.
The thing with me is that I never speak about sex with these girls. Ever. Only until after we've fucked. The only rare exception to this is if I know for a fact that the girl is DTF and she's already on my bed or I'm taking her to my bed. Unless I know a girl is super DTF, I won't even bring her straight to my room to fuck.
So yes, I go on "dates." But my dates are set up in a way that they end up back at my place. The date is part of my foreplay. Some girls really need to get warmed up to you especially when they know NOTHING about you. You're a complete stranger that walked up to her, remember? Not every girl is down to fuck a random. Sometimes, I ask the girl to go drinking/dancing at a club/bar with me and then take her back to my place. Sometimes, I take the girl for "dinner and a movie." I go to maybe a nice sushi place, grab a redbox movie, and end up back at my place. Sometimes, it's Sunday and I have to do chores (groceries, laundry, clean my room, etc). I do all that shit with the girl and guess where we end up? Again, my place.
During the date, that's my time to really get to know the girl and have her become more comfortable with me WHILE I'm touching her and getting her more used to my touch. The more the girl likes me, the more DTF she is. Eventually, we're back at my place and I'm fucking. Sometimes I have to work for it until she gives it up, sometimes it's just handed to me. And, of course, sometimes they're not DTF at all and I have to wait.
But the thing is, they already like me, so they want to keep seeing me. Once I meet up with them, it's a wrap. The only reason a girl will flake on me after we know each other is due to (ex-)boyfriend issues. Other than that, I can't even think of the last time a girl didn't want to see me anymore. After the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and, at the very longest, 5th time I'm getting it in. Obviously if I wait that long it's because I see the girl as more than just a quick fuck, more like a hot fuck buddy or potential girlfriend.
Either way, I fuck them and that's all that matters. I've fucked girls that don't hook up and make guys wait for months in just a couple weeks or less (depending on how many times I see her). But most of the time I fuck the girls the same night or the second night, just because of how aggressive I am and how much they like me. Hopefully, this helps you out and gives you some ideas.
Disclaimer: Not all my fucks are from cold approach, but when I do ask a random girl for her number (and don't get the boyfriend rejection), I knock that shit out of the park (most of time).
Oh know yea, relentless is correct. You definitely don't need to talk about sex. How your dressed, your solid frame, and especially the physical dialogue does all the talking as far as sex goes.
That being said. The opposite is true (not for you Jake but I had this problem for a bit) if you go on dates and girls don't fuck it's cause you're saying too much. Going into too much detail about your personal life. Once that happens, it's like there is no more game for her and she does not want to fuck.
Going back to the cold approach thing. Man_Up is 31 and he got a ton of lays 50+ from day game by going on dates. I know him personally and he does not come off as a guy who "Just wants to fuck." Think more like Boy Toy and less like Scotty. That being said he has more going for him than a guy like Scotty cause he has a nice apartment in city centre and is self-employed with a nice internet business. So he gets a lot of retention after fucking cause there is a lot of potential there.
When you say these girls would be lucky to fuck you I completely understand where your coming from. Thats happened to me so many times with online dating that it blows my mind. An extremely average girl will reject me or stop texting and im just staring off into space wondering how this happens.
Then on the flip side a girl who I consider out of my league will be super receptive and excited to message with me.
Honestly I have no explanation for this and believe its best just to move on to the next girl.
Like alwaysbeclosing said I also think its best not to talk about sex during texting / messaging etc. For me personally ive had more success playing the boyfriend potential card. Acting like your looking for a relationship might be better for you compared to aggressive screening.
Christ so much of this thread resonates with me and its been stuffing ive thought a lot about lately.
Relentless just from the vibe of your post you seem like your probly an extremely care free cool guy ( swag factor ). Would you say its your chilled out attitude plus looking good that makes these girls so interested in seeing you ?
Jake that girls ass is phenominal. Just fucking tell her you changed your mind or something and your fine with being exclusive FWB. What do you have to lose?
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