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A lot of girls are quite socially awkward, even if they're into me, I've found. Maybe because I go to a nerdier uni.
This is what usually happens:
Let's say I'm at dinner with some friends. There's a new girl there. I see her staring at me a lot, butting into conversations I'm in. Obviously she's into me. So I sit next to her and start talking to her. Let's say I start off with "Hey what's your name again?" - they reply, and ask my name - "Yeah my name is John...how could you not remember?" *give them a playful punch*
With outgoing girls
They'll laugh, punch me back, go "I'm sorry! Let me make it up to you!". From there it's easy to hug them and say "it's okay, I forgive you", get really touchy, etc.
But with the nerdier girls (the vast majority of them)
They'll give like a nervous laugh "haha I forgot sorry". And there's nothing for me to go with. I have to keep using small talk, asking her questions because otherwise her replies aren't very interesting, and maybe eventually she'll open up. But it just feels so awkward and unnatural because I feel like I'm doing all the work.
As a result of this, I hook up with outgoing girls quite easily because it's fun and easy to talk to them. But the only times I hook up with the quieter girls are if I'm with them in a situation where we're kinda forced to be together (eg working on a group project in uni together).
What's the solution to them? Should I just be touchy with the quiet girls? Keep making small talk with them?
I don't want to go too overboard with the touchiness sometimes because these are friends-of-friends and I don't want a reputation for being too touchy/aggressive if the girl turns out to be not into me.
My sticking point
I'm really bad at small talk, because I feel like I don't want to be doing it and neither does the other person. Even with guys I'm bad at it.
I'm hypersensitive to awkwardness. If I feel like the other person isn't helping me carry the conversation I'll usually just leave - even with guys. I've always been extremely bad at small talk because most of the time I simply don't find it interesting.
, the first video there, where the girl is kinda giving Chris one-word replies at first and sounds kinda tentative - I would've classified her as a "nerdy/quiet" girl and gotten bored of the conversation already. Kudos to Chris for keeping the conversation going with random conversation topics.
Therefore, without the aid of alcohol (where girls are sloppier and are touchier), I usually only hook up with really outgoing girls who are really enthusiastic when talking to me. Except for online dating, because I know that if they meet up with me they're interested in my sexually so I just plow through their awkwardness.
this happens when i try to meet girls at bookstores or just the more introverted ones..they dont say much and i find myself doing the talking which is the dreaded small talk which i hate..theres nothing more draining or boring than asking a girl questions and she is displaying no energy back..i usually just give up even when the girl seems into me..
tbh even with outgoing girls when they start going on about trivial bullshit i just get bored and cut the convo short..this is my big weakness, i get very bored very quick if the convo doesnt have an even flow...i like it when both parties are asking and answering..
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