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this immovable confidence only lasts for a temporary time until life hits you hard then u go back from being Cinderella in the glass slipper to being the same old you.
I sometimes hit highs of this immovable confidence but it goes down unless i keep moving forward which can be very exhausting and impractical; be you, fuck having immovable confidence and just do what you want.
I have been told the same things before the whole shy stuff and I feel the same way you do about it.
I dated a girl once and she actually asked me how do I usually meet women. I asked why, and she replied because I didn't seem like the approach type = calling me un-confident or a puss in her own way. Well that's how I took it. The only good thing about that was I actually was very shy and nervous around her so I know I don't come off like that to everyone and shouldn't have to her. At the time I probably did look at her as being cooler and more out going than I. After finding this site so much stuff make even more sense.
All in all you have to be able to be comfortable in your surrounding. If your not comfortable talking to girls and your not comfortable walking through a crowded malls. You are definitely not going to talk to girls while in a mall. Just an example
Confidence comes from experience, that was successful. Question like this is a nonsense. If your experience is failure you will not have confidence (obviously). Where does they confidence comes? From successXD
I feel you guys. Its like being quiet is taboo. I can sit their talking to everyone but as soon as i go quiet for a second i got people asking "is everything ok?" lol i used to get the comments about me being shy but i found i can automaticly disarm people from ever saying that by talking with more enthusiasm when people talk to you. If your gonna be quiet, atleast UP the enthusiasm and volume of your voice to make up for it. Otherwise they'll think you're shy. Eventually this will become natural to do.
I just looked at this thread now because I have to admit I'm so insecure that just reading about some guys that are more confident than me makes me jealous. But... great thread.
90sBaby It's interesting that for me people often comment how immutably confident I seem, even if I don't feel confident at all in that situation. Wouldn't you rather have your scenario? I mean the most important thing is how you yourself feel, not how you are perceived by others. You are real, you don't hide your emotions.
Good Looking Loser had a great answer as always. The most important thing is taking action.
mLuciej Has a great point that every uncomfortable situation will grow you as a Man. Upbringing... my mom told me that even when I was a baby, with no prior learned experiences, I used to be extremely timid in new situations... I would stay in her lap for an hour before I would dare to even be curious about the surroundings. So it's not only upbringing but also genetics.
I used to have more outwardly seeming confidence when I was doing the AA program and approaching a lot. It was my own stupidity that I didn't keep up the momentum. But in fact I have much more "internal" confidence right now - I've gone through so much shit and gained so much experience. I might seem less confident because I don't do as ballsy stuff but in truth outcomes, peoples' opinions etc. affect me much less.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
Goddamn, everything Chris says makes me just say to myself "yeah that's exactly right, if only I could've come up with that before he said it". I guess his knowledge comes from experience and that's the only way to truly get it
FS-Ronin wrote: When you know your cooler then the girl, you have a better life etc... its hard to be phased.
First I thought I was cooler than everybody, because I did the approach anxiety program.
But now it seems like coolness is out of my control -> I can only be cool if I get results (many friends/girls) which is not in my control (unlike approaching massive amounts of people daily).
So I used to 'know' I was cooler than most of the people I met. Now I'm not sure if I'm even equally as cool...
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.