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Sometimes I don't feel relaxed. I feel antisocial and I cant crack a genuine smile, I feel creepy if I try. I tend to have an unapproachable look on my face what can I do?
The following user(s) said Thank You: Jaynormous
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If you don't feel like smiling then don't smile, unless you are in a position where you must be friendly and cordial. Just know that you will come across as unapproachable and accept it. If you're not in a social mood, don't force the issue. Do something else. Read a book, take a walk to your favorite place, or do something you like. Also doing something that actually makes you happy will help change your mood and relax. (Something other than hitting on girls)
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Dude,
that exact thing happens sometimes to me also. If you had it more deep and stronger, you could not even look people in the eyes, and upper half of body would be kind of slouched If you had it superdeep and superstrong ,you would have the previous things plus you would literally feel your upper body has no circulation from muscular tension. SO don't worry it can be worse.You just had a bad moment/mindstate. What I do to reset my mood spasm was to Chill,relax,get sunshine and beach (I still do that) or do something that tackles something bothering in your life.You can feel stress fade away as you feel you made some successful improvement.(You see,I feel we human beings need success on success to build our foundation of confidence and belief in us.) You can read my history in intro and see I am at antidepressives now (just started effexor). So I've got some long experience suffering from these phenomenons. StepUPs- - Intro to GLL www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/introduc...is-brain-dump#130480 StepUPs' - Field reports approach logs www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/field-re...sh-t-to-gold-journey StepUPs' - AA Vlog www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/approach-anxiety-vlogs-intro- |
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I say, practice your best smile in front of the mirror, just to get used to how it feels like when you need to voluntarly contract muscles.
When you aren't feeling social and you are afraid to crack a smile because you think you'd look creepy, in reality it's probably in your head. If you'd pull a full smile you'd probably look like always when you smile. Just don't pull half-smiles or fake smiles cuz those aren't cool. That's why I think you should be practicing on how it feels like when giving a genuine smile |
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You ask what can i do?...you know what, this was the exact question that i asked myself some months ago.
I faced the same issues as yours. I wondered why i always had that low self-esteem when i'm out in the world or why couldn't i make eye contact with anybody and instead looked down or why do i have so much tension in my body....sometimes i literally felt like a boulder. ...and then i did something that i never had done before. I was seeking for advice/solution within myself, i did meditations....by that i mean writing all my thoughts down, because when i write everything down, then often times deep stuff comes to the surface. Long story short, what helped me was being radical honest with myself ....and when you really being honest with yourself, then you know the reasons. In my case, i knew that my insecurities/weaknesses caused the way i act, and i consciously confessed to myself that i'm deeply insecure/weak.... so many people can't do that, confess their insecurities/weaknesses to themselves, they rather try at best to hide them or dig them deep to the abysses of their being....but it's crucial to be not ashamed of doing so, because that is the only way to make changes happen. Then i wrote all my insecurities/weaknesses down...in my case: -lazy -daydreaming -being reactive, rather than productive -spent too much time watching porn -technology (Internet, phone) -chaotic desk, room -no organisation, no system, no nothing -living in a 'den', no sociallising, no contact with people if you accept it or not, but those 'deseases' subcounsciously effect you in a very harsh way...those deseases are accountable for the way you act, for the way you feel...they are the reasons why your feel so belittled, feel so much tension when you out there. Somehow you think people can look in your eyes and know what's up, know what your are all about...and you don't want that people can see your 'deseases', so that's why you avoid eye contact and so on, you feel like inferior to them, that you don't deserve to look them in the eye. deseases like this makes you feel like a zombie rather than being alive, you see... If you want to transform those weaknesses into strenghts, then you have to turn them upside down ....it's simple, but not easy. You need radical self-discipline to do so...self-discipline is the fuel, so to speak. I turned those weaknesses upside down: - Lazy > Active/Focused - Daydreaming > Write down my thoughts - reactive > productive - technology > only half an hour - porn > no porn - chaotic > organized - no organisation > organized - living in den > go out approaching people every day When you can do that, your life will change radically...i promise. All successful people in entertainment, sports, business cultivated that attitude, that's why they are literally 'stars' and feel superior over the masses, even though they wouldn't admit it. When you reach that state of superiority through radical decisiveness and self-discipline, then all the world becomes your stage....don't waste your time man.
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