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I used to be not only fearless as a kid but also nearing suicidal with the risk taking I'd make. When I were 2, I decided it were a great idea to try and clear a fire pit and did so without hesitation (my little legs didn't take me far.. ended up with 3rd degree burns). I jumped in the deep end before I could even swim, and I'd jump every single dirt mound on my bike no matter how high. Too many times I should have broken summat, but I digress.
I'm the product of a single parent household. My father was always a nervous wreck, stressing over the dangers of everything, and to spare a long story did an absolute shit job at raising my and my brother. We both ended up socially awkward, anxious, depressed, and with extreme low-self worth. My brother did a lot better than me at working through it, to which I'm pretty jealous of, but regardless I stayed on the path of self-loathing all the way to my ripe age of 25.
My anxiety has never been as bad as it is now. Before, even though I've never been good at talking to people or girls, I could at least order a Big Mac from a cashier without fumbling my words, and could hold a conversation with anybody and not feel nervous. Now, I shake whenever I talk to people, I avoid going out and ordering anything, and I avoid as much human contact as possible. I have a friend who will actually do everything for me, which is embarrassing as all fuck. I even tried getting my driver's licence, but the minute I was behind the wheel and controlling the car, I had a massive panic attack. Not to play the tiniest violin too much, but it was full on hyperventilating with chest pains and that 'high' feeling.
I need something to at least curb half of the bullshit to get over this, cause it's either fix myself or eat a bullet at this point.
Hey man, get your hormone levels checked out. From the car situation it looks like you have a panic disorder or general anxiety disorder.
If you can it's good to pay a visit to the doctor, but I know that with your condition it might be next to impossible (I still can't visit a doctor even though I consider I got rid of much of my anxiety). Good news is there are independent labs where all you do is wait, tell them "I need X tested", wait again, and then leave.
Check T3,T4, TSH, Estrogen and Testosterone.
For social anxiety I'm afraid the only reliable treatment is exposure. GABA antagonists help a lot if you need a temporary fix (Alcohol, Phenibut, Benzodiazepines, Fabomotizole if you can get ahold of that (Russian medicine but worked wonders for me)).
Don't rely on substances long term though. Also, people notice if you are drunk during daylight, just in case you wanted to use alcohol as a "hack" (been there, done that).
Sounds like you might be bipolar to me. The self-destructive fearlessness is as serious of a symptom as is your current anxiety. I think you ought to see a psychiatrist. This isn't a diss, I just think it sounds like you have a condition that might require medical attention.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
Terminator wrote: Sounds like you might be bipolar to me. The self-destructive fearlessness is as serious of a symptom as is your current anxiety. I think you ought to see a psychiatrist. This isn't a diss, I just think it sounds like you have a condition that might require medical attention.
I've moved past the sensitive phase a long time ago, but I appreciate your reassurance.
I've been to doctors a lot over the past 6 or so years. One diagnosed me as bipolar, another diagnosed me as just ADD, and then another one said he saw zero signs of either in me and hinted that I was just full of shit (and, to his credit, I didn't seem like a basket case when I was talking to him, but if he talked to me for enough time he'd definitely see that I'm a weird and sad dude), and so doctors appointments have kind of ceased. I also don't get manic, so I definitely agree with that one idiot doctor on me not being bipolar.
I wouldn't say it was self-destructive fearlessness as much as it was just I didn't give things a second thought. Those days are long since gone, anyway, and the only real self-destructive behaviour I exhibit now is not taking care of myself and being afraid to tackle challenges.
I'd say get some exercise, man. Just a general improvement in diet, exercise, and sleep habits can really make a huge difference. Obviously there might be other shit going on, so if you talk to a psychiatrist and get them to really understand you they could probably help you out. Professional help is often necessary, we can't fix everything ourselves.
Im finding a lot of myself in you dude... i really had very bad childhood too. Devorced parents, no love, was very poor, bullied at school... video game addiction world of warcraft. And just a couple years ago i kinda found myself and my confidecene started growign from that point.
Gym is the biggest factor, i bodybuilding for 11 years already.
looking good makes you feel better a lot... and everyone can look good if you put some effort in it. Girls have it harder, they either born with it or not, but we men can go to gym and improve a lot
if you already are not...
-go to gym
-check ur hormones maybe test is low we cant know
-and expose yourself daily and taking action... theres no anxiety that tkaing action can not fix
try to stop bothering you about your past, thats not who you are, a lot of things that has happened to you , you did not have option to chose, do your best from now , take responsibility in you life, the confidence will follow
what is confidence actually? its not general its more speciffic to a certain area, it comes with experience, doing the same thing over and over until you know you are good at it. A guy that has slept with 500 girls is very confident around women, BUT at the same time he may be very anxious when dancing or singing for example
see where you are the most insecure and take little steps each day, thats how u grow, facing your fears little by little
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
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