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Leopard wrote: Hesitation is a sign of "I don't get along" or "I don't actually want to do it". So don't do it. Everytime I hesitate to salute someone, it means that I actually don't really care about this person. Everytime I hesitate to go out, it means I actually don't want to go out. If I really want to go out, this goes through my mind : "fuck yeah, tonight I'm going out !!" Everything else means : "I don't actually want to do it".
I would tend to agree with you. But this absolutely goes against everything about "exposure therapy."
With exposure therapy, you are supposed to make yourself uncomfortable and do many of the things that you would normally not have any desire to do.
So I don't know what to do. I feel much like you. If I don't want to go out, that must really mean that I don't want to go out. But then, in order to be socially successful, you have to go out, so you must force yourself to go out in order to be comfortable.
Rousseau wrote: This is from a lack of exposure to social situations. The more you approach girls, the more you go out to the bar SOBER, your anxiety and "awkwardness" will go away.
Approach 5 girls a day, and go out to the bar/club 3 times a week for 6 months SOBER, and your social confidence will be multiplied by 10x
There is no easy fix, no drug to fix you. Stop looking for short term fixes and different "mentalities" to help you. Reading blog posts from some faceless nerd will not fix your problem.
Btw, have you ever looked at some of these self-improvement sites and then you find out who actually writes them and it's like "wtf, I can't believe I took this guys advice." Like Matt Forney for example. I used to think he was badass until I seen a picture of him and realized he wasn't a super jacked rich pimp. He's like this big fat faggot that binge eats lemon mirange pie.
I stopped drinking a lot because I realized that it was triggering my depression. I've been going to parties on weekends sober or with one of two beers and have actually been enjoying myself a lot more.
Going to keep that up. I felt pretty confident today, even helped a stranger find a place to print something in my city because I was bored. Didn't have any anxiety, and the person approached me for once cus I must have not looked anxious/depressed.
Everything you spoke about in this post pretty much hit home for me.
I can relate and have went through a very similar situation for many years.
enough of my story i just wanted to let you know that i can relate.
I had to constantly practice being prosocial before i could come across as comfortable and relaxed with people. it took a long time and alot of effort. i would tell you to start small and just say hey to people you see and work your way from there. try to interact with your friends more etc.
you may be introverted as well this is something ive come to terms with but it shouldnt be the reason for being anxious in social situation.
good luck man hopefully you figure this out quicker than i did
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.