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Hey JakeD I assume that the doc. did recognise you with anxeity disorder? if so, have you tried alprazolam(xanax)? Right now i'm on 0,25mg of alprazolam and tbh it is day and night the difference when I take it. Calm heartbeat, thoughts flowing smoothly, I would say it kill it by 50% right of the bait.
I only take 0,25mg before I leave home, and just ride the momentum. When I don't take it, I have this enternal battle with myself about leaving the house. it's 50 pills for 10$ really cheap.
Now it wont make you a zen master but for me it really was day and night difference when I took it, without I wouldn't even have started the AA-program.
Don't let the doc. bullshit you on how xanax is highly addictive and it will ruin your life. You have already 20+ lays under your belt so I assume your anxeity in general is much better than mine.
Jake, sounds like you had one of those up days that I was talking about earlier. They feel fucking amazing don't they? It's great because while walking around, you KNOW you are a different person and you can feel it. You can feel the confidence seeping out of your pores. It's strange but amazing, and if I could feel like that 24/7 I can't even imagine what I would be able to accomplish in life.
On days where I'm feeling socially free, I get this feeling of joy in my gut and can't help but smile wide and enjoy life. On other days I'm just going through the motions and I'm always on edge. I'm sure you can relate.
I think we should turn this thread into a social anxiety support thread. We can post successes or give each other advice on what can work and/or what doesn't work.
I think that might be oversimplifying a bit.Because I have done what you mentioned and still have what I would call "social anxiety".Then again my standards are pretty high in this regard.
Depending on your definition on what is social anxiety vs what is having no social anxiety (doesn't even seem like what that is and isn't is especially clear right now?)
Have you personally suffered from extreme social anxiety and beaten it in the way you describe?
For me to get to the point I'm at now,I had to do many things that go beyond just talking to some new people every week.
Plus there is the issue that when a guy has real bad SA,he tends to make a very negative impression on people,which then of course feeds his social anxiety and it's just a downward spiral that is difficult to get out of and start making the kind of consistent,steady stream of overall positive experiences which I believe is absolutely CRUCIAL to getting out of this for good.
You can go out with new people all you want but if you are truly socially paralyzed to the degree I have been in the past,you will either do one of two things:
-Be awkward,socially submissive,and withdrawn.You will be there but won't interact with people much and they will simply tolerate your presence but you won't actually really experience being SOCIAL and really enjoying interacting with people and engaging them
-You will overcompensate and become the excessive "try hard" guy that people find annoying overall,it will be super stressful,you will likely burn out and quit,even if you don't you are still socially off and not really learning to be good with people
There are better ways in my opinion.I have done both of the above tons of times over and over and neither ever really helped me that much.Other stuff I am doing these days is what is helping alot.I truly believe there is more going into it than that.
I get what you're saying. I'm not talking about completely eliminating the slightest bit of SA in you. I'm just talking about working it back to a manageable level. If you want to become even less socially anxious, I'm pretty sure that you can always do some more weird or extreme things to train yourself with in social situations. I also think that it often helps to go to a new environment and learn that things can go better if you give yourself a fresh start.
Since you asked: Yes, I had pretty debilitating SA in the past and I know what you mean when you say that you make bad impressions on people. It's definitely a vicious circle, but you can definitely overcome it, too. Maybe I was a bit too simplistic when I said something along the lines of "It'll take about 2 months", because it's not like you could consider yourself completely SA-free after a certain period of time. Rather, it will improve gradually and slowly... as you mentioned, it's up to you where your standards are and how much SA you want to tolerate. Just saying that it'd be feasible for someone like you who reflects a lot about himself and takes action to do this on your own, without a GLL SA program.
There is no social anxiety program,just a AA program.There should be a overlap-aka doing AA drills can help massively with social anxiety...if you can do the whole AA program then you probably have minimal social anxiety.Even if you do have social anxiety,who really cares if you can approach 90% of girls that you want to like chris says.If you can do that and look good you will reach your sexual/dating goals.Maybe there are higher levels of social freedom but that's kind of another discussion.
However depending on the severity of your social anxiety,you might want to hold off on the AA program.It might be too intense and in my opinion some guys will actually get socially worse off by jumping into AA when they aren't ready.Maybe if you had insane will power and just hung in there,you'd probably eventually beat it and become cool,but I think there are better ways to do it from my experience thus far.At least that's my own approach for myself,others probably feel different than I do though.I don't just want social freedom though-
I also want to be COOL and have swag,especially since I am short and will never be a super good looking guy,maybe just "good looking" but not some sort of 9 or 10 guy.I am fucking short as hell and small,so I feel like my swagger needs to be tight if I want to really go after that super hot pussy and tag it consistently at 5'5.There is only one other GLL who is successful with alot of quality girls at my height and he has some serious advantages that are beyond "I completed the AA program and cold approach all the time" if you ask me.Hopefully I will be the first short GLL to show it can really be done with legit hot girls from cold approach at 5'5.Never seen a single guy under 5'8 posting creep pics of hotties on this site especially consistently.If someone else gets there before me that would be great,would only motivate me even more to not make excuses and reach his level.
So it's not just about social freedom for me,but social freedom+swag combined.
If you just wanted purely to beat social anxiety then yea I'd probably try to do some SA drills designed towards that purpose.In my own personal opinion.
I don't think I suffer from bad social anxiety as such. I definitely suffer from bad case of approach anxiety though. I looked into AA (had some questions that I posted but Chris hasn't answered them yet, you can probably search for posts made by me to see my question). If I could get over AA, that alone would be a big deal to me! Just reading through AA drills, first week and a half seem dooable but drills from week 3 onwards appear very scary. I wish I could have a friend to do it with for some sort of emotional support, I guess.
What do you mean by "swag" though? I think I kinda get it but I am not 100% sure.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.