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yeah everyday.. specially in the context that life is worthless and what's the point of it all when u eventually suffer and die.. no doubt most of is my depression talking since i think about suicide as well on a daily basis..
I remember when i first learned about it. I remember going to visit my father and asking him if everyone died. came as a shock to me to find out. Even as a child I'd be laying in my bed thinking about it and getting scared.
Nowadays its more like an acceptance. i don't believe there is anything beyond death either. Death makes it seem like life has no point. in fact every question in life that I come up with if u keep asking why you eventually end up with getting to the same question: what is the purpose of life..
I also think of Time and Space. The age and size of the universe is mindblowing. pretty much shows me daily how insignificant my own life really is. just a nanosecond in the grand scope of things.
I've also asked people why they continue to live. two of the most memorable answers was one from a fellow engineer who said he wants to find out what happens.. as in curiosity in the future. I guess I can relate to that,
The second is from my father who i asked recently. He said his goal is to serve humanity. makes sense i guess since he is a doctor..
nobody has any idea what happens. but through a large amount of pscyhadelic experiences and a bunch of eastern philosophy (oh jeesus) ive come to believe that whatever we really are deep down inside is the same. some hyperdimensional godlike being that lives outside the physical confines of space and time yet is able to experience it. thus creating a world in which he is everything yet to each individual part feels like they are their own seperate being.
when i really get into modern science and physics it just seems to make more sense. every single atom in the universe is a vibration and anything that happens in one part of space effects the total sum.
i.e. me waving my hand around has an effect on every single particle in the whole universe, even if mathematically the effect is negligible. its all so fucking simple yet so complex. like its retardedly simple actually yet inconceivable a bunch of vibrations make up something like a living breathing human. have you ever been inside a dream and you could swear it was real but yet you wake up. and youre like of couuurse you dummy did you really believe godzilla was chasing you thru downtown tokyo? i think reality is the same in the sense one day you die and then you can laugh at how you thought you were just a tiny little part of the universe. while all along you were every mother fucking thing playing a trick on yourself.
at the end of the day its all mental masturbation but its fun to think about. definitely makes depression seem stupid youre a living breathing human being think of all the shit you can do. go wave ur dick in some bimbos face
Yeah it pops into my head sometimes when I'm trying to sleep. Mostly about what comes after, heaven, hell, reincarnation, or just an absolute nothingness. It honestly scares the living shit out of me. Way for than my AA does lol. I guess the biggest fear I get from it is not living a fulfilled life, not accomplishing all my goals, or just not feeling like I left anything worthy behind. The last thing I want in this world is to die anonymous. Just the whole death thing has always been a scary thing for me even when I was like 13 years old. Lately, around a year or so ago, I found that i don't panic as much when I realize just how much life I have left to live. I'm only 21 and have more than enough time left to do anything. I used to think that 21 was old, and that I should have had way more experiences and my life more planed out by now, but in reality this is when all those experiences begin and I can start getting my life on track in earnest. And any time death creeps back into my mind I quickly push it out and focus on something else, something that excites me and I want to do in the future. That really helped me. If death is bothering to the point that it's keeping you up at night, and you're not in your late sixties, know that you've got plenty of time to take on the world and do everything you've wanted to do.
Tyson Wolf wrote: It's a waste of time to even think about it. Sure if you've got some time it's cool to get high and ponder the universe and what happens when we die, but at the end of the day, nobody has any fucking clue and there is nothing you can do about it anyway.
If we die and something awaits us on the other side (afterlife, omnipotence, reincarnation on another planet, etc.) well that's pretty cool huh?
If we die and our consciousness is literally gone forever? Who cares. We were already dead for an infinite amount of years before we lived, and that wasn't so bad was it?
Or maybe we are born into the age where they will bio engineer cells to last forever or upload our consciousness into some kind of digital database? Who the fuck knows.
Don't worry about it. Worry about this life and what you can change and what you can learn here. Live life like it's the only one you've got; but hey, who really knows if that's the case?
This is exactly how I see it now.
If there's a God, then I imagine he/it is pretty far above us mentally beneath petty and cruel punishments (And I can guarantee you the Bible has been grossly misinterpreted. The "hell" of modern times does not exist in the book, it is mostly a mix of the Greek concept of hades, embellished with medieval dark ages terror. There's actually a pretty good evolution in history of how we got today's version of "hell" in religious doctrines). Believe me, as a kid, I was beaten with "no sex before marriage or you'll go to hell", which literally kept me a virgin until my 30's.
Then again, if there is nothingness after you die..............who cares? Do you guys worry about when you go to sleep? If you're tired you just go to bed, and most of the time don't even realize when you fell asleep, and all of a sudden you just wake up.
So who cares if you fall asleep to not wake up again? Try to live your life as stress free as you can, and be a genuine good person, help where you can, and if you have to hurt, make sure it's warranted/necessary.
All this stuff about being petrified of the feeling of oblivion is dumb. I don't worry about being unconscious while sleeping. Why would I worry about it when it's permanent?
(For the record I do hope that there's a God and he's a cool God )
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