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Cold Approach —> Quantity
Social Circle —> Quality
But there’s other ways of getting quantity too… For example, tinder isn’t cold approach but its a way a lot of guys talk about getting quantity. In social circle game there’s plenty of ways of getting quantity. If you’re young, promote at a cool club. If you’re older and have money throw parties. Promoting, you can meet 30+ new girls a night. Throwing parties, you can potentially meet even more. Plus, you flipped the script. Now you’re the prize. With cold approach, the dynamic is the other way around. (Dan Blizerian talked about this in one of his podcasts) I was promoting last night and I rejected two hot girls and went home with a third. I didn’t have to do shit. Literally. I made no effort to get girls and went home with one. And I got paid ! And I met new people ! I literally have crazier shit to say, but I’m going to get some proof to post it because that’s the standard I want on this forum (as dead as it is).
Glanced over some of the posts on my thread and I’ll try to read them in a bit and get back.
I need to get better at being social again. I had a pretty busy second half of my semester, and I noticed my social anxiety has come back a lot. I will try to make my own AA drills to do to help with this. I’ll put serious time into this after I finish my last school final on Monday. TBH social skills are like a muscle. Some people are naturally gifted and don’t need to practice a lot to maintain it. Others really need to put in time to build it up and maintain. In this metaphor I haven’t been going to the gym and I’m definitely not naturally gifted. Time to get back in the gym regularly.
For my reference [and you guys ifyw to know my thought process]: The things that have helped me the most: * Mentor (biggest impact)
* Not overthinking (just letting go and trusting my instincts)
* If you aren’t improving at a fast pace, then you are regressing (this I think is specific to me)
* Really focusing energy on only one thing at a time
* If it makes you nervous then do it social principle (you have to do things back to back to back for this to work)
Hasn’t Been Helpful or Harmful
* Accountability partner online
* Trying to break down social things to a formulaic level
* Trying to do several big things at once
* Making judgements off of one time occurrences
If anyone has advice in how to politely reject girls please let me know. I feel like I'm always so rude when doing it. Like if a girl says I'm cute I can be like "oh I'm seeing someone" [not true but its fine], but if she's just being really flirty I can't really say that without being rude. Cause I don't want to randomly make up the fact I have a gf for no reason. But I want to politely friend-zone a girl. Some girls will take a hint after a while, but a decent amount of them will just not stop.
I think it is really hard to quantify what gives exactly what for whom. Because we are different and do things different so results will vary from person to person. But cold approach for many and even me also gives quality. The girls I approached yesterday. One was quite hot. Pretty face and hair. Again, we approached them in a warm way.
Cold approach gives quantity and sometimes quality. At least for me. But I approach in warm ways and have good face and style. Working on getting the rest up to par, for even better results.
Social circle (social status) definitely gives benefits. More quality is very much a part of it (which is why I am doing that myself), but you still need to look somewhat good yourself. Above her threshold. Especially for the hot ones, they will still not fuck ugly club promoter, except for maybe a few girls willing to take the hit to get the benefits. Dan very much gives these women access to a lot of fun/opportunities and also probably pays a lot of them to. He also looks above average.
I think social circle game should be renamed to social status game instead to clarify. It is what it really is. Not just you having a social circle with some hot girls in it, aka friends to go to the club or other fun stuff (which I thought it was I the beginning). Instead, it is you knowing the right people around town and getting yourself more and more in to those same favorable positions. A lot of these people will just be acquittances, but they will still give you major benefits for knowing them. Ability to meet a lot of hot girls and have things these girls want, which will make them want to fuck you to get access to it.
And herein lies the truth. Cold approach or social status/circle. You need a quality product to put forward, and the better the product the better results in both areas. Looks threshold is good, but I very much recommend going much further (if possible), looks is definitely what matters the most with girls. I outcompete my very confident, charming and cool boss with the girls at work by doing fucking nothing (except working on looks of course). Even his girlfriend is flirting crazy, when he is not looking and he is way higher status.
With guys it is charisma, confidence, status.
You can get quality in cold approach. Also, you can do both, pretty much at the same time. One very much leading to the other. Cold approaching in the night live is one way that also leads to social circle game, if you want it to.
Another factor is, the amount of hot girls. Scandinavia is fucking packed with them, so getting quality here is a lot easier. Hot girls are really fucking normal here.
I think people should priorities looking like a sex god and get the social freedom to talk to girls. Through both social status and cold approach. They very much synergies.
So, to boil it down.
- Get good looking
- Get major confidence/social freedom
- Get status
I had a long post, but I'm not trying to argue with people online about how to bang girls, so I deleted it.
I like the hot/rich/influencer type of girls. I don't think I could get this through cold approach. I'm 99% sure that social circle game is the only way to get these girls. AND, I would rather have 20 more cool friends than 20 more 8/10 bodies. Mostly because having 20+ more friends will likely lead to 20 more bodies and 40 more friends (you see where I'm going with this?). Also building a social circle comes with a lot more benefits than just girls.
This is why I choose to spend my time how I spend it. If you disagree with this, I would love to hear why. But, if you disagree with my goals then I don't really care (I think we should all respect each other's individual goals). This is just my log and those are my goals. Cold approach 100% works. But for the VERY SPECIFIC thing I want, I think there's always something better to do than walking up to girls doing cold approach.
First and foremost, it's good to hear different opinions and experiences. That's one thing I really didn't like back when GLL was really active. People were quickly shut down for having opposing views to the mods.
Your approach of doing things, somethinggood's expereinces with cold approach and
Gabo's posts, though imo his problems are probably from the fact that he lives in a smaller city more than anything.
With that said, it doesn't seem like somethinggood disagreed with your way of doing things or your goals. He just disagreed on that you say cold appraoch >> quantity, social circle >> quality. But ultimately, somethinggood was pointing out that looks plays a major role in the quality and quantity of women you can get from cold approach or social circle.
Finally, somethinggood said this I think it is really hard to quantify what gives exactly what for whom. Because we are different and do things different so results will vary from person to person.
I'm sure some billionaire somewhere laughs at how any of us waste ANY time at all pursuing women instead of making money while they just get girls from their sheer amount of wealth.
"So much depends on your reputation. Guard it with your life." That's a quote from the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. TBH, I'm not the biggest fan of the book. I always try to do my best to be a good person and act with integrity. One of my life mottos is always be a good person and everything will turn out well. Recently I had an incident with someone in a social circle I am in. It was pretty mundane, but it turned out crazy. This one girl I knew was always very playful and would banter a lot. She would play hit me on the head in a funny way and often wave things in my face. Well, about a week ago, I was hanging out with her, and for some reason she was mad at me. There was a misunderstanding, and I thought she was teasing me so I motioned for her to back up because she was in my face. Well, apparently I hit her eyelash (which to be completely honest I don't think is true, but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt), so she flipped shit on me. Started shoving me and yelling for me to leave. That may have been the most confused I was ever in my life. Next week everyone in that group was mad at me and I was essentially "kicked out." Now, to be completely honest, I think her reaction was a massive overreaction, and I talked to her afterwards and she was in a lot of ways apologetic to me. However, her friendgroup became split about me, and pretty much I'm just never going to hang around them again. She feels bad, and I feel bad too. Apparently she had an ex who was physical with her, so I understand where the reaction came from. However, what I do not have any sympathy or time for is the rumor mill that started within that friend group about that.
Everyone has agendas, and a lot of people really only care about themselves (especially when you're dealing with hot girls). In a lot of ways I'm glad this happened. Its a warning shot about todays society, and this will not really affect me. I just have to lay low from going to areas I see these girls for a couple of months and I'll be fine (and luckily, they don't go to where I like to go). But, I got the opportunity to see firsthand what can happen. So, I just wanted to come on here and remind everyone to be careful. One wrong move and your life can get pretty hurt. The saddest part about this is that I used to think that this only could happen for people who "fucked up." A guy who pushed his gf because he was too mad, etc... And in a lot of ways, I am okay with judging people who legitimately fuck up. We SHOULD judge people based on how they treat others. But, something we need to understand more and more is you are not just judged based on how you treat others, but when someone doesn't like you and they see an opportunity, they might start shit. They'll create a false story; throw someone under the bus for their personal benefit. For every person who is good, there's someone who doesn't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves and will walk over anyone for the smallest thing. In today's world where a rumor can spread like a wildfire and ruin someone's life BE CAREFUL. And think twice before you start a rumor or throw someone on the bus because if you do you're scum.
But from your post, It sounds like the girl was in a bad mood and you might have failed to pick up on it and she acted on emotion and lashed out on you. Then she felt bad for lashing out at you, and probably called the group of friends to discuss but she was doing so in a way to make it seem like she's not in the wrong, so they only got her side of the story.
Also, keep in mind, 1/25 people have antisocial or psychopathic tendencies. The more people you know, the more you'll run into them. That doesn't mean everyone is like that.
Yeah there's a bit more to it. Essentially, there is a girl in this group that is very narcissistic and a couple of times, she was being a piece of shit and I pointed it out to her (essentially, stood up for other people). The reason I'm not really hanging with them is because this narcissistic friend is just hating on me right now. I've seen this narcissistic girl do some pretty whack shit. One time she was telling me about how there is this dude she works with that works on commission and she'll go out of her way to make sure he doesn't get commission by closing the sale herself even though she's in a management position and doesn't get commission for closing sales. I literally asked her if that dude was an asshole or something and she was like nah, so I asked her why she did it, and she was like it's my job. I didn't say anything then but in my head I was like, that's literally his income... I never really hung around this girl, but she works with/is friends with a couple of the other girls, so she definitely has sway.
And yeah, most people aren't like this. But my point is the ones who are really don't give a fuck and will try to screw you over if they see it helping them. So it's important to be careful.
At the end of the day these types of people are unavoidable, so its best to get used to learning how to manage their bullshit as opposed to avoiding them.
Go to the source for information and don't try to be the exception. If you want to bang the hottest chicks, look at who is getting the hottest girls and do that (check out hot girls with douchebags.com). If you want to get matches on Tinder, look at what girl's top picks look like and copy that. Don't read bullshit articles online by people without proof. And honestly, between this website, BoyToyStory, and Sonny's articles on socialization, you have all you need. Don't overcomplicate it.
The shit that makes the biggest impact is the following:
- physical fitness
- edgy style
- social status
- being tan
- shoe lifts
If you want to bang hot chicks, do that. Beyond that, there's nothing else that will help that much. You should only fix a problem if its glaringly bad (ex: yellow teeth, terrible breathe). I used to focus on the most bullshit stuff and read the dumbest shit on the internet trying to look for some secret to make girls fawn over me. Guess what? It didn't work. Going back to my point about being the exception, DONT. Sorry, but your not special, the same rules apply to you as everyone else. On here I'll see it sometimes, but on a lot of other places too, guys will convince themselves that for some reason they are able to do it differently than everyone who is successful (Sigma male dudes). DONT. Look like a douchebag and do it that way. Also a PSA, extremely stoic guys and people who won't shut up about their conservative values don't get bitches.
Last thing: don't take advice from girls on how to get girls on the internet. The type of girl who is giving that advice is probably a weirdo or not the type of girl your tryna bang.
Steroids + Tan + Shoe Lifts + Style = 50% there. The last bit is being social and that's probably the hardest thing to improve on. (I don't do steroids, but honestly its probably not the worst shortcut)
It's cool to see that you're still posting after the shit you went through.
I pretty much agree, don't go through the conservative red pill black hole. Most of those guys are either virgin or in a ltr. It's also mentally unhealthy.
Regarding the topic of steroids, do you think being 10% bodyfat +some muscle is not enough? Chris used to say that above average would get you results, but maybe that doesnt cut it anymore.
IMHO the only secret is social status/preselection, whatever the fuck you wanna call it. That's at least how it works where I live. I have never personally met someone that was succesful with women through cold approach. It's always social circle, they are friends with cool guys and hot girls.
I also think social status is more important than social skills. Social skills come naturally, as you said, if you go out regularly with cool people. Also, you could be super smooth, but as Chris said, that doesn't necessarily gets you results.
Social skills are something that can help you in improving your social status.
That's my opinion at least. Positioning (ie. having connections) is more important than being "amazing"
I really think cold approach is really a numbers game+looks+a little bit of social skills. But you still will be rejected the vast majority of the time no matter what you do. So really cold approach is about having a really solid inner game (keep going even if you get rejected 99% of the time). That's my experience with cold approach at least and it's the same for most guys. Specially in nightclubs. Your mentality needs to be really strong just for opening girls, let alone for pulling them and trying to win her friends etc. You're swiming against the tide
BoyToy suggested getting a social job as a way to improve social skills. It's probably the best way to get status in a scene if you know 0 people (if you are a new guy in town).
Conclusion: time is better spent working a barback or server job instead of approaching.
GettingitAll, what do you think? do you know guys that tag hot girls through cold approach?
Yeah, I agree. Looking good and social status are the 2 biggest turn-ons for women. Social skills come with constantly being around high social status people and also challenging yourself with confidence drills. Confidence will definitely improve your social skills by a lot for most people. A lot off socially inept people are just very shy.
Like Andy says its best to start with looks and really look max, and then build from there. You will have an easier time getting into higher status social circles, when looking very sharp. Then social skills usually come naturally over time. Both looks and social skills will take time and effort though. Social skills properly even more so like GettingItAll is saying. But I would very much recommend getting very good looking first and foremost. Then like you said get a social job. You will be spending a lot of time there, so will get plenty of practice and status while making money. Also spend as much time as you can being social. With high status people is even better..
You still need to have time left over for look maxing and confidence drills though. These are your foundations first and foremost. They will make it way easier to get into and have success in higher status social circles. You don’t have to spend a lot of time on them to have maximum results. Gym 4 x 1,5 hour a week is more than enough. You can superset to make it go faster. Eat healthy all the time, have a good sleep schedule. A little bit of time has to be used on acquiring some good clothe/haircut and so on. Confidence drills are quick to do, just go outside your door. Do them while going to a friend/party/gym and so on.
Looking good and social status definitely are the 2 most important things in getting laid a lot or just having a relationship with a good-looking female. Social skills will off course help to some degree. How much I don't know, but not nearly as much as the other two regarding females. Basically, it is just having success in life that will attract females.
Social skills like you said, will on the other hand help get you status. Social skills also comes naturally by being social more, with higher status people. It is better to develop them this way naturally instead of trying to think/read yourself into having better social skills. The brain doesn’t work this way.
I agree be a server instead of cold approaching. Just don’t skip confidence drills. These are not cold approaches to get good results, just to get you way above average confidence.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.